Are You Happy? Spotting the Signs of Resentment in a Relationship

Resentment is a finicky thing. To make sure your relationship is running smoothly, this is how you spot the signs of resentment in a relationship.

It is important to know how to spot the signs of resentment in a relationship. Because resentment is not normal anger or frustration. Resentment builds over time. It is brought on by unfair treatment or neglect, and as it is swallowed down, it manifests in different ways.

Resentment can be minor. It can be caused by your partner leaving their dirty clothes on the floor continuously, or something much more serious like a lack of trust or infidelity.

Sometimes we try so hard to let things go and remain in an unhealthy relationship that we don’t even know where our resentment comes from or that it’s there.

Whether you have resentment or it is coming from your partner, it is important to be able to spot the signs of resentment in a relationship. Then, work through it as a couple. [Read: 10 big problems in a relationship and how to fix it]

How do the signs of resentment in a relationship look?

Resentment can be seen in all sorts of ways. It can be obvious or extremely subtle.

But, because resentment is such a complicated emotion it can be confused with regular frustration or anger. For instance, if your partner is mad at you for bailing on dinner with their parents, they may not communicate it but get remarkably angry if you fold their socks the wrong way.

Others hold on to bitterness or distrust from infidelity after claiming to have moved on. They may be cold or petty because they resent your actions deep down.

Because so many of us struggle with communication, resentment easily builds up when we don’t release how we truly feel about a situation or behavior.

You may even feel a lack of intimacy in your relationship without nailing down a cause. Resentment could be buried under the surface and causes a rift. [Read: Real signs that reveal if you’re not in love anymore]

What are the signs of resentment in a relationship?

As I said, it can be difficult to spot the signs of resentment in a relationship. However, it is not impossible. If you know what to look for, you can see the signs of resentment, and hopefully get ahead of them so that your relationship can thrive, not wilt.

#1 You never argue. You may think a relationship without arguing is going great. But every couple fights. You don’t need to scream and yell but everyone has disagreements and needs to sort through those. It is a healthy part of any relationship.

So, if you and your partner avoid any sort of conflict or disagreement, you may be dealing with resentment. When resentment is part of a relationship, it causes resistance. It can make one or both partners back away from communication. This is because resentment burrows itself deep down and can explode at any moment.

If you argue about something minor like where to go food shopping, resentment for something else can take over in that moment and make things worse. [Read: Why you need communication in a relationship]

#2 The intimacy is gone. Intimacy and affection are a healthy and necessary part of a good relationship. We all go through dry spells and ruts when work gets crazy or schedules are overwhelming. When your relationship loses affection, resentment could be the root cause.

Look back to the earlier days of your relationship. Even if you fought, nothing could keep you apart physically. Resentment is powerful. It can subconsciously make you want to punish your partner for some behavior. [Read: 12 signs of indifference in a relationship that predict a real rift]

#3 Explosive anger in minor situations. Resentment is often caused by something major that has been buried or forgotten. You may resent your partner for accepting a new job without discussing it with you or vice versa. But, instead of discussing how that made you feel, you tried to let it go.

Resentment doesn’t let go of things like that. Resentment feeds on that sort of disrespect but instead of forcing you to talk about it, it makes you irrationally angry in moments that don’t require that level of emotion.

#4 Lack of respect. Resentment is often built on feelings of disrespect or unfairness. You feel like you weren’t treated right and you resent your partner for that. Because resentment hides beneath the surface you subconsciously retaliate by disrespecting your partner.

And this works both ways. If you didn’t tell your partner that you had lunch with your ex, they may resent you for that behavior and then ignore your calls on a night out in order to get back at you without actually saying they are upset. [Read: How to stop feeling contempt in a relationship and overcome the anger]

#5 The silent treatment. The silent treatment is not just something school children do. Married couples well into their 80s and beyond are guilty of using the silent treatment when resentful.

Cutting off your partner from affection, intimacy, and communication can make them feel lonely and rejected. When you resent your partner for something they’ve done, this feels like an acceptable move.

#6 Passive-aggressive behavior. Many signs of resentment in a relationship can be considered passive-aggressive. This is an important sign because it is so common.

Passive-aggressive behavior is doing something to intentionally bother or irritate your partner but doing it indirectly to avoid an actual confrontation. For instance, if it drives you crazy when your partner doesn’t dry their dishes they may purposely leave their wet dishes out because they know it annoys you. [Read: How to deal with passive-aggressive behavior calmly]

#7 You want to punish each other. A major sign of resentment in a relationship, especially resentment that has been building up for a long time, is punishment. Resentment that has been building for years can get ugly. It leads to small acts like purposely leaving the gas tank on empty. It can also lead to major issues like infidelity.

#8 You complain about them a lot. This is a sign of resentment in a relationship that you may not notice. Ask your friends because they certainly will. If you resent your partner, you may avoid those feelings when you are together. When you are with trusted friends, there is a good chance you constantly rant about them.

I had a friend in a dysfunctional relationship that complained about her boyfriend every single time we hung out. She didn’t even realize it until I pointed it out to her.

#9 There is unspoken tension. The final sign of resentment in a relationship is tension. It may not be something you can describe or quantify. If you feel uneasy when you are together rather than the loving comfort you used to feel, there may be resentment brewing. [Read: You should never tolerate these signs of a bad relationship]

How to deal with resentment in a relationship

Now that you know the signs of resentment in a relationship, you can pinpoint which are prominent in yours. If you noticed one or more of these signs between you and your partner, all hope is not lost.

Come back from resentment with honest communication, openness, and if you are willing, couples therapy.

Working through resentment can be difficult because it usually is a feeling you’ve carried with you for a long time. It can be hard to part with. But with the help of a professional, you can come to terms with how you’ve felt and come to a compromise and get back into a healthy relationship.

[Read: These signs of a toxic relationship will only go from bad to worse]

Catching the signs of resentment in a relationship can be difficult. Once you identify them, together you can let go of past pains and move forward.

The post Are You Happy? Spotting the Signs of Resentment in a Relationship is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

15 Exclusive 6 Month Anniversary Wishes To Celebrate Love

6 Month Anniversary Happy 6 month anniversary, my dearly beloved. I hope that you have felt just as blessed as happy with me as I have been with you. I…

The post 15 Exclusive 6 Month Anniversary Wishes To Celebrate Love appeared first on Events Greetings.

1st Day of School Wishes, Messages & Quotes

First Day of School Wishes : When it comes to your kids going to school for the very first time... More

The post 1st Day of School Wishes, Messages & Quotes appeared first on WishesMsg.

How to Text a Guy First: 14 Ballsy Tips to Make the First Move

You’re into him, but nothing’s happening. Instead of waiting for his text, why don’t you take matters into your own hands and learn how to text a guy first?

Sometimes you’ve gotta make life happen, and that is why you should learn how to text a guy first. You have his number, Facebook, or Insta account, but nothing is happening. He’s not texting you, and you’re not texting him. Well, how do you expect things to progress if something doesn’t happen?

By the looks of it, you’ll be waiting your whole life for him to text you. It’s time to do something about this. Even if nothing ends up working out, that’s okay. The point is you decided not to wait around for him to make a move.

We’re in the twenty-first century after all. You need to go get what’s yours. Am I right? Oh, yes, I am.

[Read: How to tap into the powerhouse that is your divine feminine energy]

How to text a guy first

There were so many guys I ended up texting first. Some of them worked out, while others didn’t. Was it ballsy of me to make the first move? Of course, it was. Men are used to being the ones who initiate everything. But why? Why did I need to wait around for a guy to realize I was into him? So, I did it myself.

I would go up to a guy I liked, be flirty, and ask him if he wanted to exchange numbers. I’m not going to lie – I expected them to come running after me once I made the first move. Most of them were intimidated by me. But, once I texted them, they got to know more about me and vice versa. Sometimes it resulted in a date, and sometimes it didn’t.

One thing I know is that I never regretted any of it. It’s time for you to make the first move and learn how to text a guy first. [Read: What to text a guy when you want to make the first move]

#1 Say something other than “hi.” Come on. I know you can do a bit better than that. Saying “hi” is fine, but there needs to be more. Bring up something that happened at school, mention a meme or video clip you saw, or ask him how he is. Do not just say “hi.” [Read: The common texting habits of girls that push guys away]

#2 What’s your goal of texting him? What’s the point of texting him? What do you want from it? Keep your goals in mind when texting him. If you want to hang out with him, make sure your text conversation will eventually lead to that. If not, you’ll spend hours and hours texting him without completing your goal.

#3 Don’t text him late at night. If you want a booty call, then late-night texts will do the trick. But if you want something serious, do not text him after nine pm. Anything later than that, you’ll give him the impression that you want something else. [Read: 20 flirty texting facts to have a great love life]

#4 Wait for him to reply. Don’t send him another text right after you sent him one. Give him time to reply. If he doesn’t reply, give it a day until you text him again. He could have forgotten or became distracted. But never hunt him down for a reply.

#5 Ask him questions. If you want to get to know him, ask him questions. Now, this isn’t a job interview, so you don’t need to grill him. But, every now and then, throw a question in and see what he says. If you don’t ask, you won’t know.

#6 If he ends the conversation, don’t text him. If the conversation ends, you don’t need to restart the conversation an hour later. When you’re figuring out how to text a guy first, remember to give some space for things to develop. If you texted him, let him text you first. A relationship is a give and take. It can’t only be you making moves. [Read: Why did he stop texting me? 13 rules you MUST follow]

#7 Don’t be glued to your phone. When he texts you, don’t reply right away. It’s okay to give it a couple of minutes or hours until you reply. Everyone is busy and has things going on in their lives, and he knows that. So, reply when you have time.

#8 Let the conversation end naturally. I know you like him, but if you feel the conversation is coming to an end, don’t try to hang on to it. The worst thing is when you see someone is trying to keep the conversation alive. Let it die. It doesn’t mean you lost your chance. It means that right now, there’s healthy silence.

#9 Stay away from sex-talk. If you’re only looking for a casual fling, then eventually, you can slide in some sexual topics. But, if you want something serious with him, then avoid talking about sex right away. There’s more to you than what’s between your legs and for now, he doesn’t need to know. [Read: How to flirt with a guy over text – Everything you need to know] 

#10 Spell properly. Listen, I don’t care how old you are, you need to spell properly. There’s no need for you to write, “brb,” “u2,” “sup” – come on. What was the point of spending years of your life in school if you’re not going to spell properly.

#11 Let him text you first after. If you made a move and texted him first, from now on, you don’t necessarily need to be the one who always makes the first move. Let him text you first. If he doesn’t text you unless you text him, maybe he’s not as interested in you as you think. [Read: What it means when he never texts you first but always replies]

#12 Show your personality. If you want to develop a connection, show your personality in your texts. If you have a great sense of humor, don’t be afraid to crack jokes, and make him laugh. You’re not a robot; you’re a real person with a personality.

#13 Keep the text short and sweet. No one, whether they’re a woman or man, enjoys reading an essay length text message. If you can’t say what you want in a couple of sentences, then just phone them or send a voice message. Your texts should be short and sweet. There’s no need to write a novel. [Read: What to text a guy that will get his attention]

#14 Take it off text. You’ll know when it’s time to take your conversation off of text message. And when you get that feeling, it’s time for you to make a move. Whether it’s talking on the phone, sending voice messages, or meeting up in person; take it forward.

[Read: How to exude femininity and use it in your favor]

You may think learning how to text a guy first is scary, but once you do text him, it won’t feel that intimidating. Just relax, you can do this.

The post How to Text a Guy First: 14 Ballsy Tips to Make the First Move is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

35 Best Birthday Wishes For Someone Special

Birthday Wishes For Someone Special 1. Happy birthday, my dear! You know how much I love you and admire you. May God multiply your happiness and bless you all the…

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What Causes Narcissism? The Facts & Theories to Read a Narcissist

It seems that the term “narcissist” is a hot topic these days, but have you ever stopped to think about what causes narcissism in the first place?

We often hear the word “narcissist” bandied about these days. In reality, true narcissism is quite rare. However, when you come into contact with an actual narcissist, there will be no doubt. And it might make you wonder, what causes narcissism?

Why is narcissism on the rise?

The reason we hear the word so much is because there is a lot of cruelty in the world. People treat others badly: lying, cheating, manipulating, and all of this causes pain and heartache for those unlucky enough to have fallen for someone with such negativity in their heart. Narcissism in a relationship is no easy task. Most unions which are touched by narcissism don’t actually survive.

It’s hard to remain in a “loving” relationship when you’re constantly being dragged down and manipulated.

[Read: The secret signs of narcissism you shouldn’t overlook]

If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you have my sympathy. I’ve been in this situation and believe me, it’s not a situation I’d want to be in again. It’s awful to be torn between loving someone who is so wonderful to you one minute and cruel the next. You don’t know where you really stand, and you have no idea if you’re imagining half of it or not.

Whether you’re touched by a narcissistic relationship or not, it’s important to understand what narcissism actually is at its very core. So, what causes narcissism. What is it exactly?

What is narcissism?

A true narcissist has a personality disorder, called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD. This isn’t a mental illness, but a behavioral issue, and falls under the umbrella of personality disorders.

A narcissist has a distinct lack of empathy. Before you jump on the bandwagon and label all narcissists as bad people, it’s actually something they can’t help. They don’t know how to love and feel empathy towards other people, because they’ve never felt it in their lives.

They’re incapable of showing real emotion, and their lack of empathy causes them to unwittingly hurt others. At the heart of it all is often a lack of self-confidence and low self-worth too.

[Read: Why narcissists do the selfish things they do]

A narcissistic person usually displays the following traits:

– An inflated sense of self, e.g. they have a high opinion of themselves on the outside, but often don’t really feel it genuinely on the inside

– Rarely admit they’re wrong

– Usually value their own opinion as truth, and doesn’t consider anyone else’s views as valid

– Doesn’t take criticism well and can often lash out

– Turn everything around to avoid taking blame

– Use manipulative tactics in order to ensure others stay close to them and do as they please, this is usually through gaslighting, i.e. making someone else start to question themselves and their own sanity [Read: 14 signs someone’s gaslighting and playing mind games with you]

– Controlling behavior

These are just a few of the most common narcissistic traits you’ll come across in the general walk of life. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, another common trait is isolating you from the people in your life, e.g. family and friends. This is because they see these people as threats and want to keep you firmly in their control.

The outcome of a narcissistic relationship isn’t particularly rosy. You might want me to tell you that love can conquer all, but when you’re stuck in the middle of a situation which drags you down, it’s hard to see anything bright or sunny.

Narcissists do not know how to love in the same way as someone who doesn’t have narcissism. They feel something, but it’s not the “I’d do anything for you” kind of love that most of us feel. It’s more selfish and one-sided.

That brings us once more to the idea that narcissists are bad people. It’s hard to argue against it, but understand that there isn’t a choice in whether someone is narcissistic or not. They simply are because they have a personality disorder. So, what causes narcissism and all of this pain and heartache? [Read: 16 subtle hints narcissist give away as soon as you meet them]

Do we know what causes narcissism?

The good news is that we know what narcissism is, the bad news is that there is no 100% accurate explanation of what causes narcissism. There are a few ideas which are backed up by studies, but just as we don’t truly understand what causes any personality disorder, it still remains a bit of a mystery.

Every person is different which means one size descriptions don’t fit all.

Despite that, researchers consider the following to be the most probable causes of narcissism:

– Genetic issues

– Issues which occurred in childhood, e.g. poor parenting

– Psychological issues

– Being praised too much when they were children

– Parents who focused too much on looks or talent and didn’t focus enough on giving love

– Traumatic experiences

– A history of excessive criticism

Narcissists aren’t necessarily born with NPD, and it can develop due to problems throughout life. In most cases, this is what happens, but there is very little evidence to really conclude X, Y, and Z as the main precursors to NPD.

Can narcissism be cured?

There is no cure for NPD, but there are some therapeutic methods which can reduce the symptoms and rewire the brain.

That’s the good news. [Read: How to date a narcissist and teach them to change for the better]

The bad news is that there are very few narcissists who actually believe there is anything wrong with them. They assume there is something wrong with you instead. That means they are unlikely to seek the help they need.

To successfully treat NPD, the first step must come from the narcissist themselves. They should ask for help and freely admit there is a problem. From there, time and effort needs to be invested in methods to change their thoughts and behaviors. It’s not an easy road, and it takes a long time to get to the point where any progress is made.

This whole picture makes it very unlikely that someone with NPD will ever be truly “cured.” [Read: How to hurt a narcissist – 11 subtle counterblows to hurt them hard]

So, what about your relationship?

I’ve talked a lot about narcissism and what causes it, but what about your relationship? Is there a future?

Because we don’t really know what causes narcissism, it’s hard to pinpoint a way to manage the problem. And most narcissists don’t actually believe there’s anything wrong with them. It paints a pretty poor picture for your future.

A relationship with a narcissist means never really knowing which side of your partner you’ll see. It could be the charming side, or it could be the manipulative nasty side. After you’ve been privy to their manipulative tactics, you’ll doubt your own thoughts, and find yourself isolated from those you care about. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]

You might think I’m showing you the worst case scenario, but it’s actually the most common scenario.

A relationship with a narcissist is painful, and unless you want to remain in pain, there will come a point where you should walk away.

Sadly, I’m qualified to advise you on this because I was in the same situation. Okay, your partner isn’t a bad person at their core and they have a personality disorder which explains their problem, but that doesn’t mean you must live with constant lies, twisted truth, name-calling, manipulation, and gaslighting either. Put your own happiness first.

[Read: The narcissist and the empath – and why they’re a match made in dating hell]

Further studies will tell us what causes narcissism for sure, but for now, we should focus on the effects rather than the cause.

The post What Causes Narcissism? The Facts & Theories to Read a Narcissist is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

15 Scientific Ways to Be Extremely Charming

To get ahead in this world and avoid condemnation; to attract a good mate and less humiliation, be charming. It’s easy, and you can start by reading this article. ;p

Contents

I. How to Be Charming

1. Socialize, a Lot
2. Smile and Be Charming
3. Say My Name
4. Give Sincere Compliments
5. Warm Touch
6. Make Others Feel Important
7. Learn Speechcraft
8. Let Others Talk Often
9. Share Your Weakness First
10. See from Their Point of View
11. Develop Talent and Share It
12. Be a Peacock and Attract Birds
13. Give More than You Receive
14. Assume Everyone Loves You
15. Be Humble

II. Even You Can Be Charming

Would you like to be charming as, say, Tyrion from Game of Thrones, or Barrack Obama? Yeah, you would.

How about no more rejections from hot girls, no more waiting in lines for bread and Vodka rations? (I’m in Post-Soviet-Bloc Bulgaria at the moment.)

That’s right. Today I’m going to teach you how to be charming.

What exactly is charm, anyway? Are you just born with it, genetically gifted, like me? Or can you learn to be charming?

Yes, you can learn.

What is charm?

1. A trait that fascinates, allures, or delights

2. A physical grace

3. Compelling attractiveness

It’s also considered a magic incantation, or an item believed to contain luck-bringing qualities.

To be a “charming” person means you’re pleasant, valuable to be around, and possibly magical.