Does He Know I Like Him? 18 Signs He Knows You Have a Crush On Him

You’ve been throwing out hints to this guy, but you’re wondering… does he know I like him? Here are the signs you are giving him and ones he gives you too.

Can’t help thinking, “does he know I like him” or wondering if you’re being too obvious or too subtle?

Maybe you don’t want your crush to know that you’re into him. Well, if that’s the case, he probably caught on to your *cough* low-key *cough* creeping. And if you wanted him to know that you’re interested in him, he probably got the hint as well!

What we’re trying to say is, he probably figured out that you’re into him regardless. Unless he’s shy and inexperienced. But anyway, that’s not the point.

So, what we’re going to talk about first are the signs a guy looks for from you that give away the fact that you like him. After that, we’ll talk about the signs he gives when he knows he likes you.

[Read: How to show a guy you like him and charm him while being a real tease]

The signs he looks for to know if you like him

When a guy is wondering if you like him or not, there are signs he looks for in your behavior. Women do the same, right? So, guys are no different.

If you are exhibiting any of these behaviors, then he probably knows you like him and have a big crush on him.

1. The way you move

A person’s body language is a dead giveaway that someone is interested in them. Guys know that. Think about it, if you’re out at a restaurant, you can tell just by looking at a couple how interested they are in each other, right? 

So, he notices how close you sit to him, how much you smile, how much you touch him *and where*, how animated you are, and whether or not you look into his eyes – just for starters.

You don’t have to have a Ph.D. in body language to figure it out. Even guys know. So, keep an eye on your body language – because he is. [Read: Male body language – 24 subtle cues to instantly read his thoughts]

2. If you linger around

Let’s say you work with a guy or go to school with him. If you make an obvious effort to keep the conversation going when you talk to him, then he knows you like him.

Any extension of interaction beyond the normal, polite chit-chat definitely tells him that there is more going on in your head than just small talk.

What does “lingering” actually look like? Here’s an example. If you are leaving a building, but you ask him to wait for you so you can follow him out to the parking lot while keeping up the conversation, then you are “inviting yourself” to extend the interaction – otherwise known as “lingering.” 

3. Your texting habits

Texting is a normal thing that people do all the time. So, what is the difference between the way people usually text and how they do it when they like someone? Well, if you are always *or usually* the one to text him first, that is a big sign that you like him. [Read: Texting etiquette and flirting – 26 rules guys and girls must follow]

Another texting habit that screams of your interest in him is when and how often you text him. If you’re sending him “good morning” and “good night” texts, that is pretty “relationship-y.” Or if you initiate a conversation late at night, he knows you are thinking about him until the wee hours of the night. [Read: 20 signs he’s thinking about you a lot even if he’s playing it cool]

4. You don’t talk about other guys 

If you are co-workers, friends, or in school together, most people can casually talk about who they are dating or who they are interested in pretty easily. But, if you refrain from talking about any of those topics, he will notice.

An even more obvious sign is if you keep asking him about his dating life. He knows you want to know if he is single and available. And, he thinks you are holding back in an attempt to show you that you are single and available – for him – too.

5. You ask him to hang out

Usually, guys are the ones who ask the girls on dates. That’s just how it normally works, although it definitely has changed in recent decades. However, if he is not asking you out, he knows you are probably getting frustrated. [Read: How to ask someone to hang out over text correctly and have success]

So, if you ask him to “hang out” or do something casual together, he knows you are interested in him. He knows that you probably don’t feel right asking him on an official date, so you are just going to suggest something that feels like two friends spending time together.

But that’s only an excuse to get him along – and he knows that.

6. You joke about him being your boyfriend

When people don’t want to come right out and say how they feel, they sometimes resort to joking. This is a way of beating around the bush and telling someone what you want to without actually saying it.

So, if you’re joking about things like him being your boyfriend, he knows that you’re not actually joking. He knows you’re throwing it out there to see if he’ll take the bait and get the hint that you are interested in him. [Read: How to let a guy know you’re interested without being overeager]

Does he know I like him?

So, before you start making it overly obvious and cross into the stage-5 clinger zone, it’s probably good if you tried to figure out if he caught on. Remember, you want him to come to you, don’t chase after him too much. [Read: Stage 5 clinger – 13 signs you’re clearly not wanted anymore]

Not that it’s a bad thing to play the whole cat-and-mouse game because it’s not bad at all. But make sure you have the chance to be the mouse as well.

If he’s doing these things, he knows. Oh… he knows you like him!

1. You feel it

You know when someone knows, you can feel it in your bones. Maybe it’s the way they act or look at you, but the point is, you have a feeling.

If you have this feeling that he knows you like them, then you’re probably right. Don’t second guess your intuition… it’s usually right.

2. He starts talking to you more

If he knows you’re into him and suddenly stops talking to you, well, then you know he’s not interested. The reason he does that is that he doesn’t want to lead you on, so he distances himself from you.

But if he increases conversation with you and starts to talk to you out of the blue, well, then that’s a great sign. Guys won’t waste their time talking to girls who don’t interest them. So, keep your eye on how much interaction he initiates with you. [Read: 35 cute signs of attraction from a guy who’s clearly falling for you]

3. He invites you out to group events

He’s asked you if you wanted to hang out with him and his friends. Well, you didn’t expect that. Sure, he knows that you’re into him, but now he wants to see what his friends think of you. 

So, he’s starting to ask you to come to parties, hang out with friends – get you acquainted with his friends and lifestyle. He might do this as a “test drive” to see how well you fit in with his life and lifestyle.

4. You see him opening up to you

Now that he knows that you’re into him, he can let down his guard a bit because he isn’t worried about being rejected. Men are terrified of rejection, just like women are. 

He’s at ease now and isn’t worried about opening up to you. Since he knows you like him, he assumes you will want to hear about personal things. That means he probably likes you too and wants you to get to know him better. [Read: 27 signs he likes you as more than a friend and wants to date you]

5. He goes out of his way for you

If a guy doesn’t like you, he won’t step out of his way to help you. Sure, they’ll open the door for you or whatever, but he’s not going to pick you up and take you to the movies. That’s not how it works. 

So, if he’s spending time with you and doing things that require more effort, it’s a good sign he know you like him AND he likes you as well. He might pick you up some lunch or offer to change your tire if it’s flat. If he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t bother doing that for you.

6. He’s nervous around you

But he’s not nervous in a terrifying way. He’s nervous in an “oh my God, what do I do next” way. He stutters when he’s trying to talk, he says a bad joke, he mumbles to himself – these are all signs that he’s overthinking things. 

Why is he overthinking things? Because he likes you and knows that you like him. So now all he needs to do is make a move, or wait for you to make a move… but it’s all so confusing! [Read: 30 peculiar signs to look for when a guy is really interested in you]

7. He teases you

Men like to tease the women they’re into. It’s another form of affection. If he’s teasing you and playfully touching your shoulder, it’s only a matter of time until this progresses. 

This is called flirting, you already know that, and flirting usually builds up the sexual chemistry – it gets things going. So, keep doing your thing. [Read: How to tease a guy and make him realize he totally likes you]

8. He pulls back

Now, if he’s suddenly pulled back, he probably found out that you like him, but he’s either scared or not interested. Now, we don’t know the guy, so you’re going to have to investigate into that a little further. 

His pulling back is usually not a good sign. Even if he was scared, he would still hang around you. He probably doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea by keeping up the communication like he was doing. So, he’s trying to give you a sign that he’s not interested in you – unfortunately. [Read: Why do guys pull away before they commit? A guide to read his mind]

9. Body language

Just like he notices your body language as a sign that you like him, you can look at his too. You’ll notice that his body language is more directed towards you if he likes you. He’s not shying away – he’ll have his body facing you, he’ll be laughing at your jokes, and touching your arm.

If he’s not interested in you, he’ll avoid any contact and will most likely keep his distance. You would do the same if you didn’t like someone, right? [Read: Is he starting to like you? 18 body language cues he can’t hide]

10. He texts you more

If he doesn’t like you and he knows you’re into him, he’ll cut the texting to a minimum. He definitely won’t initiate texts, and will probably just answer with simple one-word answers. [Read: Why is he texting me all the time if he’s not interested? 15 reasons why]

But if he’s into you, he’ll increase the texting and social media interactions. It makes sense, no? He wants to let you know he’s interested, and this is a great way to do it.

Now that he’s relaxed, he can do whatever he wants online without looking like a creep. Instead, he looks like a guy who’s put a claim on what he wants. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes you via his texts – 20 no-fail clues]

11. He doesn’t mention other women

If he isn’t into you and he knows that you like him, he’ll mention other women in front of you. It’s not to be mean, but it’s meant to subtly hint to you that he’s just not interested.

So, if he’s doing that, get the hint and find some other guy to focus your attention on. Now, if he doesn’t mention women at all or openly rejects them in front of you, that’s not a bad sign. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s because of you, but it shows he’s not interested in other women. [Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me back? 31 reasons why guys do this]

12. He’s more flirtatious

Now that he knows you’re into him, he’s not worried about getting rejected. Many men do not take the next step because they fear rejection.

So, now that he knows he’s in the clear, you’ll notice him being a little more flirtatious which is good for you. Roll with it and see where it goes.

[[Read: Should I tell him I like him? 17 ways and signs to pick the right time]

If he’s doing a couple of these things, then the “does he know I like him” question has been answered. He knows, girl! Now, play it cool and let him take the wheel. 

The post Does He Know I Like Him? 18 Signs He Knows You Have a Crush On Him is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Tell Your Partner You’re Unhappy & 18 Steps to Not Hurt Them

If your relationship isn’t going well, then you want to know how to tell your partner you’re unhappy. Here are the best steps you can take to do it right.

When a person realizes that he or she is no longer happy in a relationship, they will start to think of ways in order to fix the problem. When they can’t do it on their own, they will turn to their partner and voice their concerns. As easy as that sounds, not many people use that option – even though they should. So, here’s how to tell your partner you’re unhappy without hurting them or making them feel guilty in the process.

A lot of times, people allow the relationship to deteriorate to the point of no return, just because they were too afraid to tell their partner that they were unhappy in the first place.

[Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

Why are people afraid to talk to their partners?

A person can become unhappy in a relationship for a number of reasons. It differs from person to person and can be caused by different circumstances.

When you arrive at a point where you realize that you can’t find joy in your relationship anymore, you start to think about why it’s happening.

When you realize that you can’t fix it by yourself, you start to question whether the relationship is going to survive. This is the time when you’re supposed to talk to your partner and tell them how you’re feeling.

Many people refuse to talk about their feelings, but that’s not because they’re afraid. It’s usually because they feel confused and don’t know how to handle the situation.

It’s not just about what they want. Once they start to air out their concerns, it will become a problem for both of them. [Read: How to stop fighting in a relationship and 16 steps to really talk]

The consequences of telling your partner you’re not happy

Although it’s helpful to talk about your problems, telling your partner that you are dissatisfied with your relationship can be very emotionally taxing.

Some people refuse to tell their partners their feelings because they fear that they might hurt them. Others will try to push it aside thinking that the problem might go away on its own.

Most of these doubts come from their assumptions about what will happen once they tell their partner the truth. It’s understandable that their partner will feel hurt or even lash out once the reality of the situation hits them.

Sometimes, knowing what exactly will happen can be scarier than not knowing at all.

Are you capable of telling the truth no matter how much it might hurt your partner? Are you prepared to face the consequences in case they decide to break up with you after you tell them? [Read: 17 relationship deal breakers you need to fix to be a good partner]

So many things can happen once the subject of your connection and happiness is questioned. It all depends on what you want to do with this information. 

Do you want to tell your partner you’re unhappy so you can fix it?

Or do you want to tell them because you want some space?

Before you decide to tell them how you feel, you have to think about what you want in the long run.

There’s no easy way to tell your loved one that you are unhappy in the relationship. The point of being in a relationship is to be with another person for the sole purpose of growing together and enjoying the moments you have together. [Read: 27 signs of an unhappy person that are hidden behind a happy smile]

How to tell your partner you’re unhappy

If your relationship is making you unhappy, then there is definitely something wrong with your connection to your partner.

The only way you can fix it is by telling your partner how you feel and what you want to do about it. This will give them the chance to think about what they want as well and whether they feel the same way you do.

1. Think about why you’re unhappy

Before telling your partner that you are having some doubts about the state of your relationship, consider first why you feel this way. Spend a day or more really giving this a deep thought.

You can’t just tell them that you suddenly started feeling disconnected from them. You have to assess your own feelings so that you can process them together. [Read: The 28 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship and how to fix it ASAP]

2. Think of what you’re going to say

Don’t just present the problem to your partner and wing it. If you want to know how to tell your partner you’re unhappy in the relationship, make sure you take the time and use the right words.

When you just blurt it out, your partner may not completely understand what you want to accomplish. If there’s any misunderstanding, the situation will be that much harder to fix. [Read: 5 tips for choosing the right words to talk to your partner]

3. Prepare yourself for anything that can happen

Your partner may cry, get angry or even hurt you with their words. Finding out that the person you love is no longer happy *because of you* can be very painful to anyone.

Rational thinking might get thrown out the window because both your emotions are on overdrive.

4. Be the bigger person

No matter what happens, don’t get baited into a fight. This conversation needs to happen and its purpose is, to be honest with your partner. It is not meant to put the blame on anyone because you are both responsible for the relationship’s success.

Be calm and explain yourself clearly. Don’t use harsh words and always be mindful of your partner’s feelings. [Read: 23 dos and don’ts of relationship arguments]

5. Don’t leave anything out

Once your partner starts to get emotional, you might find yourself reluctant to say anything else. That’s a bad idea because not discussing the problem would mean that you caused your partner unnecessary pain.

You started the conversation about being unhappy with your partner, so you better finish it.

6. Ask your partner what they want to do

Although you have your own views on how things should progress, you need to ask your partner what they want. Respect whatever it is they need.

They may choose to end the relationship, or work harder at it. Either way, you need to discuss it thoroughly before taking matters into your own hands. [Read: Should we break up? 17 signs you’re past the point of no return]

7. Tell them what you want

It’s a two-way street. The reason that you’re unhappy is that you want something that isn’t there. It could be affection, sex, more time together, more time apart, or just about anything.

If you don’t want to break up and they do, make them see that it’s not the solution you’re hoping for. If you want to break up and they don’t, make them understand why it’s better that way.

8. Get closure

Once you tell your partner you’re unhappy in the relationship, don’t let the fight drag on for days or months. Make sure that you said everything that you needed to say. Allow them to tell you how they feel as well.

If they need more time, give it to them. Just don’t let the issue die down without being resolved. Sweeping the problem under the rug gives it the potential to haunt you again in the future. [Read: How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart and rebuild it again]

9. Check on your partner

After talking about it, always check to see how your partner is doing. See if they are taking it well or if they’re starting to formulate new solutions. You expressed your unhappiness with the relationship, but remember that their happiness is at stake too.

10. Review your relationship

If you chose to find a way to be happy again with your partner, observe the changes in your relationship. See if your discussion has helped in improving your feelings and connection. 

If nothing changes, you may need to discuss it again. If that fails, you may need to consider fixing the problem while you’re apart.

The mere fact that you managed to talk about your problem with your partner can be a very big help. You can breathe easier knowing that you told the truth about how you feel.

Some truths can hurt the people you love, but being honest about how you see the relationship is something that needs to be dealt with. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a much better love]

11. Use “I” language

When we are unhappy in a relationship, we tend to blame our partner more than ourselves. So, when you want to tell your partner that you are unhappy, try to avoid the tendency to criticize them and their behavior. This will only make them defensive.

Instead, you should use “I” language. For example, instead of saying, “I hate that you aren’t ever on time for anything!” you should say, “I am the kind of person who values timeliness. I get frustrated when I am ready to leave and you aren’t. This is an ongoing feeling I have.”

When you use “I” language, you are not saying, “You’re a jerk who is always late and I can’t stand it anymore!” Do you see the difference? It’s the same message, but it’s said in a way that your partner will respond to it positively. [Read: 23 reasons why good relationships end even if there are no red flags]

12. Be specific

When you tell your partner that you are unhappy in the relationship, they will most likely ask you why. And sometimes, people can’t come up with specifics. Instead, they just feel an overall sense of dissatisfaction with the relationship.

However, if you can’t be specific about what you are unhappy about, then your partner can’t change. Tell them the behaviors that are making you unhappy.

It doesn’t even have to be your partner’s fault, but the more details you can give them, the better. [Read: 18 foundations of a relationship that separate the good from the bad]

13. Own up to your mistakes

Just because you are unhappy, that doesn’t mean that it is all your partner’s fault. You are in the relationship too, so your partner might be just as unhappy as you are. And you might have made some mistakes.

So, when you are talking, you should ask what you can do better if they don’t offer it up to you first. Take responsibility for your own actions. Who knows? Maybe if you start doing something different then they will be happier. And if they’re happier, then maybe you’ll be happier too. [Read: How to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship and learn]

14. Listen

We know that you want to get out all of your feelings, but you also need to think about your partner’s emotions too. So, don’t do all the talking. You want the conversation to be two-sided, not one way.

It might not be easy to hear your partner’s point of view, because they will probably tell you things that you did “wrong.” So, you need to be prepared to hear their side of the story and willing to change if you need to. [Read: How to be a better listener in a relationship and grow closer]

15. Have empathy

Believe it or not, your perspective on the relationship isn’t the only one. Your partner has their own experience too.

In your mind, they might be to blame for the reason you are unhappy in the relationship. But they might see it very differently.

So, you should listen to them with some empathy. Try to see their point of view, not just your own. Maybe you can learn something about your behavior that you can change, and then it might make the whole relationship better.

16. Stay calm

When someone is unhappy in a relationship, they tend to get overly emotional. So, it’s best to approach your partner when you are calm and rational. You don’t want to explode and have the talk turn out badly. [Read: How to get rid of nervousness and calm your mind wherever you are]

In order to stay calm, you might even want to write out some notes ahead of time about what you are going to say. That way, you won’t be tempted to let your emotions overwhelm you and get off on a tangent. They will receive your message much better when you are calm.

17. Mutually decide what you want

Just because you are unhappy doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is too. In fact, this might come as a complete surprise to them. So, be careful with their feelings if they feel blindsided when you tell your partner you’re unhappy.

On the other hand, maybe they feel the same way too. In that case, then it’s at least good that you’re both on the same page. Either way, you should both talk about where you want to go from here and what steps to take. [Read: How to know if you should break up – 22 signs that can guide you]

18. Suggest therapy

If both of you want to work on the relationship, maybe you should try going to couple’s therapy. Now, a lot of people are resistant to this idea because they think therapy is showing “weakness.” But it’s actually not. It’s a strength.

Plus, many people lack the skills to rebuild their relationships alone. Many times it takes a trained professional to help you put together the pieces of an unhappy relationship. 

[Read: Relationship feels like friendship? 27 ways to naughty and dirty it up]

Just because you’re unhappy, doesn’t mean you should give up on the relationship. By knowing how to tell your partner you’re unhappy, you can combine your efforts into making things right again. This is what a healthy relationship is all about.

The post How to Tell Your Partner You’re Unhappy & 18 Steps to Not Hurt Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

18 Signs of Indifference in a Relationship & How to Prevent a Drift

Relationships can be difficult, and sometimes we just stop caring. So, what are the signs of indifference in a relationship and what should you do?

Whether the relationship is new or old, serious or casual, ruts happen. It is human nature. We get comfortable and things can just be blah. So, you should always be aware of the signs of indifference in a relationship.

When being boring turns into indifference, that is where the problems lay. Having a boring week or setting a routine does not have to be a bad thing. In fact, that is what some couples thrive on.

You may not care about going out or dressing up, but feeling indifferent about everything is not just being unsure, it is not caring. See how that could a problem?

[Read: Is there an unhappy person hidden behind a sunny smile?]

What is indifference in a relationship?

Feeling indifferent means you lack interest, concern, and even sympathy. You may be indifferent about what to eat for dinner, what to watch on TV, or what your sister-in-law is going through at work, but indifference in a relationship can be a sign that things are headed in a downward spiral.

Why is indifference so bad?

Well, when couples fight, it may not seem healthy or useful, but arguments are a form of effort. Both parties have to care in order to discuss important topics. But indifference puts that passion on the back burner.

When you start losing interest, not just in your partner but in the partnership, the effort lacks and so does happiness. If you don’t care about how your relationship turns out, you won’t feel fulfilled by it.

A relationship should not be something that you are fine with or without. A successful relationship requires both people to care about what happens to the other and what happens to the relationship. [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that ruin love forever]

What leads to indifference in a relationship?

Indifference can sprout from a fight or event. It can also be gradual and can form over time. It can also be contagious in a way. When one partner becomes indifferent, the other can mimic that until both people are slowly pulling away from each other.

Say you and your partner got in a fight. Maybe one of you cheated. But instead of breaking up, you decided to forgive and move on. Well, that is not so easy for everyone. What tends to happen in these situations is that trust is never restored, so the person that wanted to forgive starts to stop caring.

It could start by making less effort on date nights, and grow to not saying “I love you” or even letting go of things that used to cause fights.

If your partner always got mad when you left dirty dishes in the sink or came home late, but now just doesn’t say anything, they may not think putting in the effort to say something is worth it. [Read: 16 signs you’re settling in an unhappy relationship]

You may think your relationship is free from indifference, but it can happen in any relationship at any time. In order to get in front of it or face it as soon as possible, you’ll need to know the signs of indifference in a relationship.

The subtle signs of indifference in a relationship

When explained simply, indifference in a relationship is a lack of importance. But that is quite a broad description.

When you actually look at how indifference shows itself in a relationship, there are a lot of signs that can tip you off to it.

1. Lack of intimacy

There are a lot of reasons that intimacy stops in a relationship. Sickness, a rut, work, etc. But, when there is no reason you can think of to explain why you haven’t been sexually active or even affectionate, it could be the start of indifference.

Although it doesn’t sound difficult to cuddle with your partner when indifference is the star of the show, it is one of the first things to go. [Read: Intimacy in a relationship and why it’s key in making a relationship last]

2. No more nagging

When your partner nags you to clean up, make it to date night on time, or show up at your parents’ house by six sharp, it is because they care.

Nagging may not be an obvious sign of love, but it shows that you are willing to annoy your partner to get them to be better.

When something that has bothered your partner for ages stops bothering them all of a sudden, they may have lost interest. They no longer want to put the effort into it. An end to nagging may seem like a Godsend, but it can be an end to your relationship. [Read: The clearest signs you’re experiencing a loss of attraction for your partner]

3. Stopping traditions

Do you always go to the restaurant you had your first date at for your anniversary? When that day comes along and your partner says “forget it” or would rather order in or doesn’t feel like getting dressed up or making reservations, something is probably off.

Things that you have always done together, things that you enjoyed and were part of your relationship will not matter anymore to someone that is feeling indifferent in a relationship.

4. Lack of communication

This is a big one. Communication is key for any successful couple. But when the effort of talking things out becomes more of an effort than the outcome is worth, indifference is the culprit.

You may talk about what to eat for dinner, the recycling schedule, and plans for the weekend, but you don’t talk about your feelings or your relationship.

When your relationship covers the essentials and not the fun stuff, that is not a good sign. [Read: 28 revealing truths about feeling alone in a relationship and how to fix it]

5. Fighting stops

Another sign of indifference in a relationship that seems like it would be a good thing is fighting. If your fighting ceases after going to counseling, that is good. But if you fight regularly and it just stops, that could be a sign of one or both of your feeling indifferent.

When someone feels nothing, there is no need to fight. You fight with those you love and you fight with those you hate.

But when there is just no feeling one way or the other, there is no need to fight. This is a huge sign of indifference in a relationship, and it’s not good.

6. Silence

Resentment is a silent killer of relationships. It is not always seen in anger or discussions. It slowly bubbles up until the anger becomes a lack of interest.

Talking about everything from the future to the phone bill feels unnecessary. Anything that seems like work doesn’t have a point when there is no fun. When neither one of you wants to stir the pot or make an effort, there is a problem. [Read: How to deal with resentment in a relationship and grow closer]

7. Lying

This is a tricky sign of indifference to see. You do not always know when your partner is lying. And lying can seem like a form of effort. But when lying is easier than telling the truth, someone who is feeling indifferent will take the easier route.

But this can go both ways. Someone who is indifferent in a relationship may tell you they went out to lunch with a good-looking coworker because they don’t care if you get upset or jealous. 

But they may also lie about it because they don’t see the point in fighting when they know the relationship is ending anyway.

8. Lack of trust

Lying and lack of trust are two different things. Losing interest in your partner is sort of like a forming relationship in reverse. You lose what came first, chemistry, communication, trust, etc.

Whether there is something someone did to lose trust or not, when interest is gone, any positive feelings leave too. [Read: Can *or should* a relationship without trust ever last?]

9. Time apart

All couples need time apart, but some need more than others. And most couples have a routine or average amount of time spent together. If the amount of time you spend together slowly dwindles, someone may be trying to distract themselves from their indifference.

Indifference in a relationship causes a decrease in effort, so spending time together will be difficult for the person feeling that way. They may spend more time at work or with friends or even alone to avoid having to face the fact that they feel nothing.

10. Cheating

Why don’t people cheat? They feel guilty. They love someone. They don’t want to hurt someone.

But, when someone feels indifferent, none of that really matters to them. They still have a moral compass, but the obvious reasons people don’t cheat go away. They may not even try to hide it. [Read: Why do people in happy relationships still find a way to cheat?]

11. No breakup

This is a biggie. Indifference does not show up overnight. It forms over time, and these signs of indifference become more and more obvious. But as you know, breakups take effort. They take courage, discussions, time, and more.

Someone feeling indifferent isn’t hating their partner. Rather they just don’t care if it works out or not. They may be waiting for you to end things, so they just ride it out until something happens. 

If your relationship feels like it has run its course but there is no sign of a breakup, one or both of you may be feeling indifferent. [Read: Mutual breakups – Why they happen in dead relationships and how to read the signs]

12. Use of the word “whatever” 

Remember when your parents asked you any question as a teenager? Your answer was probably, “whatever.” That is a sort of disrespectful way of saying, “I don’t care.” And when you use or hear that word repetitively in your relationship, the intrigue and care are gone.

Saying ‘whatever’ to everything from dinner choices to paint colors and even apartment buildings show signs of indifference in a relationship.

How to fix indifference in a relationship

If one or both of you have been feeling indifference in your relationship, then you are probably wondering if you should break up or try to fix it. So, here are some steps you can take to try to make you care again.

1. Figure out the problem

Sit down with your partner and try to determine what kinds of bad habits have led to you becoming indifferent. How do you communicate with each other? Have your feelings changed? Both of you have to share your honest feelings.

Once you get these out on the table, then try to identify the patterns you see and what you would like to change. Together, try to pinpoint where and when the apathy started – and why. [Read: The 80/20 rule in relationships and why it’s so important for happy love]

2. Talk about your feelings

Make sure you both talk about your feelings of indifference. Share these emotions without guilting or blaming your partner. Instead, you should talk about how you both can take action to make the relationship work again. 

Be sure to have empathy and listen to your partner’s perspective too. Stay away from personal attacks and take personal responsibility for your actions. [Read: How to talk about your feelings in a relationship and grow closer]

3. Try new things together

One of the reasons some couples become indifferent is because they are trapped in boring routines. So, try to come up with new activities or changes in these habits to try to “shake things up” and make life more exciting. 

It could be something like going on regular dates or going on a vacation together. Whatever it is, try to bring something new into your relationship so you can reconnect as best as you can.

4. Set goals together

When you first got together, you probably thought about your future and had some dreams. But how long has it been since you’ve talked about those goals?

Talk about long-term plans and desires with your partner. Maybe you can find a mutual goal you can work toward together. [Read: Couple goals – 27 fake and real things you should want in a relationship]

5. Try therapy or a workshop

Sometimes, a couple can’t overcome the indifference in a relationship without help from professionals. So, if you can’t seem to move past the apathy you have right now, try going to see a counselor.

Another idea is to attend a workshop or retreat that helps couples reconnect and deepen their emotional intimacy. 

6. If all else fails… move on

No one likes to end a relationship that once was happy. But if you have taken all of the above steps and you still can’t find the spark again, then maybe you won’t ever be able to overcome the indifference in your relationship. And that’s okay.

It might just mean that the two of you are not very compatible. Ending things will allow you both to find someone else that you are more excited to be with.

[Read: 20 signs to recognize a relationship is over and move on for good]

Have you noticed these signs of indifference in a relationship? Was it yours or maybe a friend’s? Or are you the one feeling indifferent? Pay attention, and try to fix it. All it takes is a bit of effort, and the interest in rekindling the love again.

The post 18 Signs of Indifference in a Relationship & How to Prevent a Drift is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

36 Life Lessons to Instantly Transform Your Life & Draw In Happiness

Don’t you wish we didn’t have to learn the hard way… and that there was a manual we could read? Well, here are all the life lessons to help you with life.

The magical thing about life is that you learn something new every day. Some of these life lessons you learn are small. And some others, well, they can help you change your life forever. With every failure or heartbreak that you experience, there’s a lesson to learn from it.

Most of us are so distraught by the failures of everyday life, that we fail to see the bright side of our own failures.

Well, how can a failure ever have a bright side, you may ask. But if you think deeper, every moment of pain, suffering, or ecstatic happiness always leaves you with something to learn.

From the first time you burnt your finger on a flame to your last romance, every moment has taught you something new that you won’t forget easily.

[Read: 25 steps to find your step and change your attitude when you feel like giving up on life]

The most important life lessons from everyday life you should remember

While there may be many lessons that you’ve learned every day in your life, in all probability, you would have forgotten most of them as soon as the moment passes.

And when you forget an important lesson in life, it has a way of coming right back into your life to teach you the same lesson all over again, until you don’t ever forget it.

But will you learn from that lesson? Or will you get distracted and overlook the lessons each time?

A lesson well learned can help you in every aspect of your life. It can help you be more successful, more wary, and most importantly, more happy.

But if you want a list of great lessons that can truly help you change your life for the better, here are the real life lessons that you always need to remember.

[Read: How to start a new life – 20 must-do steps to leave toxicity behind]

Keep these 36 lessons in mind, and really, you won’t be the one looking back at your life many years from now, and wondering ‘what if…?’

1. Trust your instincts

Your instincts don’t always involve a sixth sense. Sometimes, it’s your subconscious mind that picks signs your conscious mind can’t see.

So, if you feel like something’s not right, big chances are, your subconscious mind has learned a few lessons from previous experiences that can help you make a better judgment in that moment. [Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]

2. Your life is nothing but a collection of memories

One of the things that constantly bother older people is the fact that they believe they haven’t achieved enough in life. Very few people ever feel like they’ve achieved everything they wanted to before they have to move on.

Time flies and you won’t even know it. After all, time doesn’t stop for anyone. So instead of wasting away your years staring at a big bucket list and waiting for the perfect life, create yearly milestones and try to pursue everything you want, be it in love or in life.

If you looked back at your life so far and feel like you’ve achieved nothing of significance yet, you’ll feel the same way many decades later too. [Read: How to find your meaning when life feels completely meaningless]

3. Coincidences happen all the time

Successful and happy people are extremely lucky people. Somehow, happy coincidences cross their path all the time.

And you know what, you can have all those coincidences too. But a coincidence means nothing unless you’re prepared for it.

Work towards your happiness with determination. When you’re ready for it, your personal lucky coincidence will cross your path sooner than you think. [Read: How to take that first step and be successful in life]

4. Relationships are a barter system

This may seem difficult to digest, but every single relationship in your mortal life is a barter of give and take. Even unconditional love will fade if it’s not reciprocated over time.

If you give, you will receive. If you receive, you need to give. If that balance shifts, you’ll experience unhappiness. This is one of the most important life lessons. [Read: 15 signs of a taker in a relationship – Are you a giver or a taker?]

5. It’s very easy to give your heart away

Giving a piece of your heart away by loving someone is very easy and effortless. But if the person you love doesn’t care about that piece of your heart you’ve given or doesn’t want it, you’d get hurt pretty badly.

Don’t waste your thoughts and time on someone who doesn’t make you happy. Take time to fall in love and protect your heart. [Read: All the reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]

6. No person is good or bad

Humans aren’t good or bad. It’s only your perspective that makes a person good or bad.

Even a really good person could turn out to be your worst enemy. And even your worst enemy has their own best friends. So don’t be judgmental when someone opposes you, learn to think from their perspective.

7. Persistence is courageous

But even the boldest person should know when to give up. Always remember that giving up is never a bad thing, just as long as you know you’ve tried your best.

8. Hard work is good, smart work is better

A farmer could use his hands to dig his field and he may take a year to complete it even if he works from dawn to dusk every day. But by using a plowing machine, he could probably do the same job in a day.

Hard work pays all the time, no matter what you do. But smart work always beats hard work hands down. [Read: How to stop glorifying being busy and start living instead]

9. Enjoy your present

It’s the little moments you experience every day that come together to make your life. But don’t forget to plan your daily activities keeping your future in mind. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]

10. Positive thinking is happiness

Another one of the most important life lessons is that positive thinking makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you feel more confident and gives you the strength to face any hurdle in life.

As long as you fill your mind with positivity, it will help you achieve your dreams and will keep you happy every day.

11. Negative thinking will make you a failure

A person who fills their mind with nothing but negative thoughts will never be happy, because they’re too obsessed with thoughts about how bad the world is.

When you think about someone or something with negativity, it drains your energy and fills you with negativity, which will repel happy people away from you.

And most importantly, you need to remember that the grudge, anger, or hate you hold against someone will never affect that person. It will only affect you and hurt you. [Read: How to know if your negative thinking is ruining your life]

12. It’s never the end of the world

Here’s a life lesson you shouldn’t forget. It’s never too late to start afresh, and it’s never too late to be what you might have been.

It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed or how deep in the pits you are today. All it takes is the determination and the effort to put one foot in front of the other. Before you know it, you’ll be exactly where you want to be.

13. Don’t worry

Worrying about something over which you have no control will never help you. Remember this line, worry is interest paid on trouble before it’s due.

It doesn’t matter whether you worry or not, when something has to happen, it will. So, will you worrying about something change the outcome? Of course not! So really, why are you worrying?

14. Accept failure

A big life lesson you need to learn is to learn to accept failure now and then. Failure doesn’t make you weak, in fact, it helps you understand the reasons behind your failure better.

Every time you fail, try to learn something from it so you never repeat the same mistake ever again.

The stronger the breeze, the mightier the oak becomes. When you experience failure, your success will taste sweeter. After all, you can’t appreciate true happiness until you have known sadness, can you? [Read: How to be perfect in everything you do and lead a fulfilling life]

15. Be happy in your life

Of all the life lessons, this one makes the most sense, right? There are many of us who are tireless naggers. Do you find yourself feeling miserable no matter what you do?

Learn to appreciate life and try to be happy with what you have, because there are many others who are less fortunate than you.

Sometimes, it takes losing something to truly understand how special it was to you. Don’t learn that from a failed experience because it can hurt a lot. Instead, learn it by looking all around you. When you realize how lucky you are, you’ll be thankful for what you have and lead a happier life. [Read: 20 things to be grateful for you probably don’t appreciate right now]

16. Arguments and relationships

Immature people always want to win an argument even at the cost of a relationship. Mature people understand that it’s always better to lose an argument and win a relationship.

You may not realize this, but arguments are constructive only when it ends with a better understanding of each other’s minds. Winning counts for nothing, because you’d only make the other person feel more hurt or angry. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]

17. The world is not unfair

If you think the world is unfair to you alone, then you’re a coward and a liar. It’s easy to look for excuses to dwell in your misery, and avoid moving on in your life.

When you’re pushed to a corner, learn to push back and make your own space. Crap happens all the time, but what you do to move on makes all the difference between a strong-minded person and a weak one.

18. Money isn’t everything

Your pursuit of wealth and material happiness can definitely give you pleasure. But at the end of the day, relationships and inner satisfaction will give you more meaning to life than a fat bank balance. Ask a billionaire that question and they’ll say the same thing.

What kind of a paycheck do you think you need to experience financial freedom and happiness? Plan your life and work towards that goal.

If you can do better than that, well, good for you. But when you achieve that monetary figure, instead of devoting your life to earning more, focus on your relationships. [Read: What should I do with my life to make it better?]

19. Life is no fun unless you take chances

A life without a bit of risk isn’t a life worth living. Everyone needs a bit of madness to feel alive now and then.

You can’t go through life protecting yourself from everything just because you’re afraid of getting hurt. Sometimes, break free from your routine. It’ll give you more happiness than you think.

20. You will never ever be satisfied in life

This is a life lesson you need to keep in mind because this is one you’ll forget most easily. As humans, we’re greedy and always want more, no matter what we already have.

If you truly want to feel satisfied in life, don’t let monetary goals define your life’s successes. Instead, focus on happy moments and the experiences you’ve had. [Read: How to get a life – 20 things you must do to feel alive again]

21. Love yourself

If you hate yourself or feel like you’re no good, you’ll never truly achieve your true potential in your life. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not, just to fit in.

Instead, work on your perceived flaws and be the best person you can be. When you love yourself, you’ll feel more confident about yourself and your abilities. [Read: 34 tips to love yourself and become a much better you]

22. Your future is in your hands alone

This is a life lesson that should be ingrained deep within you. You control your own future. And what you do today can change your future forever.

Living each day like it’s your last may not be the best way to plan your future. Instead, make each day in your life feel like an achievement. You’ll achieve satisfaction and greatness in your life only when you make each day in your life count for something valuable.

23. Make a decision

Procrastination and postponing a decision will only make your life more worrisome and troubled. Remember, there are just two choices in every obstacle or confusion you face in life. You can either walk away, or you can pursue on.

So instead of letting your worries mount up and distract you all the time, make up your mind and move on with a firm decision.

24. Don’t ever blame another person

When you put the blame on someone else even though you were involved in the failure, you’re only limiting your own growth, especially in relationships.

Learn to accept failure and mistakes gracefully instead of arguing about it. No matter what happens, you always have a part to play, and there’s always a lesson to learn. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and others around you]

25. Expectations can get you into trouble

When you have expectations of how life will go, or of how other people will behave, you will never be happy. When you just go with the flow of life and adjust to whatever it throws your way, you will be much happier.

26. What is… is

Of all the lessons in life, this might be close to number one. There are just some things in life that we can’t control. You have to pay taxes… that’s what is. People pass away… that’s what is. People won’t act the way you want them to… that’s what is.

What this means is that we shouldn’t stress over what we can’t control. Some things in life are simply just the way they are. No amount of effort to change it will help.

So, that leaves you with two choices: accept what is and be happy, or fight against what is and be miserable.

27. Stop caring what other people think

Most people do care about what other people think – at least to some degree. And that’s good on some level because it keeps people from hurting others.

But if your need for the approval of other people is overwhelming to you, stop caring. Do what you want, because you can’t please everyone. [Read: How to stop caring – 20 steps on how to not care and put yourself first]

28. Don’t have “unacceptables”

Let’s face it – other people bug us. They don’t behave the way we do, or the way we want them to. And so, as a result, many of us have a long list of “unacceptables.”

For example, maybe you think it’s necessary to fold laundry right away, but your partner doesn’t. And that’s “unacceptable” to you. But your partner doesn’t see any problem with this. So, who are you to impose YOUR list of unacceptable on other people? You really shouldn’t. They are not you, and you are not them.

29. Uncertainty breeds opportunity

Uncertainty in life can be scary. You don’t know what to expect or where your life is going.

Let’s say you just broke up with someone you thought you were going to marry. You can be fearful of the uncertainty, or you can see it as an opportunity to meet your perfect match *which was not them*.

30. Put your partner’s needs at least equal to – if not before – your own

In a romantic relationship, you can’t be selfish. You have to consider your partner’s needs too, not just your own. It sounds obvious, but a lot of people don’t know this.

If you don’t do this, they will grow resentful of you. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship and wow your lover]

31. Relationships are like plants

If you don’t water and tend to plants, what happens? They die. And so do relationships if you don’t nurture them.

You can’t expect to neglect a relationship and expect it to thrive. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t be lazy – you have to put effort into relationships.

32. Have empathy for others

One of the root problems in relationships – and in life – is that a lot of people have a lack of empathy for others. But you have to try to see things from their point of view, even if you don’t agree with them. You want the same for you, right? [Read: How to be more empathetic and 16 ways to make anyone feel understood]

33. Don’t try to change other people

Maybe you’re dating a person who is an introvert, but you are an extrovert and it bothers you because they are a homebody. Well, you can’t change that, so don’t even try. They are who they are.

Either accept them for who they are, or break up with them. Trying to change someone is not only impossible, but it’s also exhausting to even try.

34. Forgive others

Many people think that forgiving someone is something nice you do for them. And that forgiveness means that you condone what you are forgiving them for.

But forgiveness should be something you do for yourself. Let go of that negative energy and feel better. [Read: How to forgive someone – 15 positive ways to unburden your mind and life]

35. Viewpoint is everything

We all know that it is inevitable that life will suck sometimes. Bad things happen to almost everyone. So, you can’t change that.

But what you can change is how you view what happens to you. You can turn something negative into a positive just by reframing your thoughts.

36. Have principles in life

This is the most important lesson in life that you need to learn. Your principles in life give you your identity and define who you are. Sometimes, it’s easy to be judgmental or do something you’ll regret later.

You may even cheat a friend or take advantage of someone else’s misfortune, and as thrilling as the idea may be at that moment, you may feel bad about what you did when the excitement dies down.

That’s where setting clear principles in life can make all the difference. When you have set principles and rules about what you feel is morally right and wrong, and follow them in everything you do, it’ll make you a better human being and give you a clean conscience.

Just remember to be just in your principles though, and understand that the rules that you apply for everyone else around you have to be followed by you too.

[Read: What am I doing with my life? 23 ways to start living with absolutely no worries]

Experience is the best teacher of important lessons in life. But if you keep these life lessons in mind and use them every day, you can avoid the pain of bitter experiences and lead a happier and more fulfilling life sooner than you think.

The post 36 Life Lessons to Instantly Transform Your Life & Draw In Happiness is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Love Triangle: Why It’s Sexy, Fun, Painful & Complicated All At Once

A love triangle is a sticky situation to be in. Depending on which role you are playing, it can affect you in different ways. Here’s how to deal with it.

Have you ever been in love with someone who’s already in love with someone else? Or are you in love with someone right now, but find yourself falling for someone else at the same time? Well, you’re just living the perfect love triangle life!

What is a love triangle?

A love triangle is a complicated dating scenario where there’s love in the air, but there are more than two people secretly involved.

When love is mutual and shared between two people, everything is perfect, simple, and easy.

But when a third person enters the picture, everything changes just like that. In come the complications and the frustrations, laced with intense happiness and a flow of bitterness. [Read: 18 signs you’re having an emotional affair and don’t know it yourself]

The two types of love triangles

There are two primary types of love triangles. There are many complicated love triangles as well, but they always find a way to fit into these two scenarios.

1. Two people trying to win one person’s affection.

2. One person who’s in love with one person but likes someone else at the same time.

[Read: What should you do when you start falling for someone else?]

How would you find yourself in a love triangle?

If you have a crush on someone who’s already in a relationship, that doesn’t become a love triangle. It stays as a crush.

And if you’re in a perfectly happy relationship and your friend tells you they’re in love with you, that’s not a love triangle either, because your friend just has a crush on you and you’re not reciprocating their feelings. [Read: How to handle a crush when you’re in a relationship with someone else]

How to deal with a love triangle

When you are in a love triangle, you can be in different roles. So, before you try to decide how you should deal with it, you should be honest with yourself and try to come to terms with the fact that you are actually caught up in this situation.

One role you could find yourself in is someone who wants to be with someone, but they are already involved in a romantic relationship. [Read: Right person, wrong time? How to learn to time things right in love]

Another role you could be playing is the opposite of that. You are already in a relationship, but you are interested in another person who isn’t your partner.

Finally, your partner could have their attention on another person, and not you. [Read: 16 warnings signs your partner is slowly falling in love with someone else]

Regardless of which role you are playing in the love triangle, it can happen to all of us. In fact, a LOT of people have been in these love triangles at one point in their lives.

When this happens, most people have a lot of guilt or shame, especially if they are the one who is looking outside their relationship. Because, of course, that can lead to full-out cheating. These feelings can lead to even worse ones such as depression, anxiety, or even problems with your health.

So, you need to analyze the love triangle situation you find yourself in, because you will need to find some sort of resolution.

After you have done this, you will need to figure out whether you are going to continue the love triangle or end it. Everyone we meet can have a profound impact on our lives, so you need to reflect on how you found yourself in this sticky situation.

You are probably looking for ways to solve the love triangle, so you need to ask yourself some hard questions such as, what are you getting out of it? Are you getting attention, affirmation, or validation of some sort?

Whatever you decide to do, you need to be very conscious of your decisions and how they affect other people. When you do that, you will have fewer regrets as time goes on. [Read: In a relationship but like someone else? Here’s what you must know right this moment]

A love triangle starts only when there is reciprocation

When a single person starts to feel a reciprocating connection with someone who’s already dating, or if you’re in a relationship with one person and start loving someone else who reciprocates your love, it has the perfect recipe for a love triangle.

Only with reciprocation does a motive to pursue arise. After all, if you liked someone and that person didn’t care about you, there’s nothing at all that you can do, is there?

It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or you’re single, what you need to realize is that love triangles can never ever be created because of one person’s weak moment. It always takes two people to start the complication while the third person suffers for no fault of theirs.

No one wants to be in a love triangle

And yet, almost all of us end up in one. A love triangle may start off as an interesting distraction at first, which then unexpectedly turns into love. And this can lead to sticky love triangles where one person could be in love with two people at the same time. [Read: Are you truly in love with two people at the same time?]

When you don’t want to take a step ahead, nor do you want to take a step back and stay happy in your own relationship, a love triangle starts to form even if you try your best to avoid it.

Love triangles always affect a relationship negatively

For the person who’s single, it’s simple. All they need to do is steal the person who’s already in the relationship.

If you’re single and trying to steal someone who’s in an unhappy relationship, it’s really easy. But what do you do if they’re with someone they really love? They may love you or be infatuated by you and yet, they may not want to lose their own partner.

You may be able to steal a few happy moments of love and lust, but if nothing really works out, you can still walk away with your share of pain and helplessness. [Confession: I had an affair with a married man]

On the other hand, a person who loves two people will want the best of both people, and the worst of none. They’d start picking flaws in their partner, and creating false reasons to justify why they’re cheating.

They need a reason to convince themselves that they’re not happy in the relationship, and that’s the only reason they’re falling for someone else or getting involved in a love triangle.

But even when the third person walks away from their life someday, can they ever overcome all the flaws they’ve picked in their relationship?

Unless there’s a lot of love and bonding in the relationship, a love triangle always leaves a deep scar that tests the person’s faith in the relationship.

And almost always, a relationship that is put through the test of a love triangle fails or never regains its former glory. [Read: Torn between two lovers? 16 criteria to pick one who’s right for you]

Love triangles are painfully fun

If you’re involved in a love triangle right now, you would know this. A love triangle is a lot of fun for the cheating partner and the third person, because it’s so exciting and risky. When you enjoy the pleasures of a love triangle, it’s always fun.

But for your partner who’s in the dark, it may be a very miserable time because you’re ignoring them, detaching yourself emotionally from them, and completely avoiding them. [Read: Should you ever confess to cheating on your partner?]

And once the fire and the passion of your secret affair starts to die down and you realize that you still love your partner and not this third person *which almost always happens*, you’d start to feel the pain too.

So what do you really get out of a love triangle? Nothing but pain, even if it feels like fun while it lasts.

Love triangles are selfish

You may think it’s acceptable for you to love someone else behind your lover’s back. But would you be fine if your partner behaved exactly like you, used the same flirty words you use with your adulterous lover, with someone they like? If that bothers you, you’re being very unfair to your partner and you’re being selfish.

I know you feel helpless, but you really need to keep this in mind. Most lovers who are stuck in love triangles forget to think from their partner’s point of view now and then.

By keeping your partner in mind, even if you do fall for someone else, you’ll always know who’s more important at the back of your mind. And that guilt will help give you the strength to walk away even if you’ve rolled in the hay with someone else for a few weeks. [Read: How to end an affair and get over it completely]

Love triangles are inevitable

Let’s face it. We can’t always stop ourselves from appreciating someone else, or falling for someone else helplessly. But a love triangle is best avoided.

It can happen when you least expect it. You may just enjoy a conversation with someone, and without realizing it, a few weeks later, you may be in love with them because they excite you and have infatuated you. Don’t hate yourself if that happens to you. Just learn to do the right thing. [Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel so much better!]

But if you ever do experience a love triangle, instead of picking flaws in your own relationship, ask yourself whom you’d really choose, and who you want to be with. Just one answer.

Don’t try to push that thought away. You have no choice, because someday you’re going to have to decide on that. And the earlier you make up your mind, the less painful it’ll be for everyone involved.

A love triangle starts only when you’re confused over your emotions for your partner. If you’re certain about who you’re truly in love with, you’ll never have a weak moment even if you just enjoy a flirty conversation with a flirty someone outside your relationship. [Read: Is flirting really cheating if you’re already in a relationship?]

You don’t need to be wary of everyone you talk to, or avoid ever getting friendly with anyone of the opposite sex. All you need to remember is how happy you already are in your perfect relationship. Just keeping that in mind will safeguard you from ever sliding down the exciting and dark hole of love triangles. [Read: Choosing between two guys – 20 important questions to help you choose]

Make a choice

At some point, you are going to have to make a choice. You can’t go on in the love triangle forever.

But what is the right choice? Well, you have to do what feels right to you. If you didn’t start the love triangle, you probably feel like a victim. But if you keep this mindset, it will eventually hurt you and not help you. [Read: 14 side chick rules to be a happy mistress – minus the drama]

If you keep the victim mentality, then you always thinking of “rights” and “wrongs.” For example, “It wasn’t right that he asked her to lunch because he knew she was married.”  There are a lot of explanations for what should have happened, but what actions are right and wrong are sometimes subjective, and not objective.

Love isn’t logical. We should follow certain rules, but sometimes we don’t.

Getting out of a love triangle isn’t always easy because there are always reasons for staying. It could be finances, disapproval from your family, or cultural traditions. So, even if you know what you should do, it’s sometimes not easy.

If you can’t decide what to do, you should talk it out with someone, whether it’s a trusted friend or a professional. They can help you get an objective view from an outsider’s perspective so you can see it more clearly.

 [Read: 20 reasons why you’re so bored with your relationship and looking elsewhere]

If you’re experiencing a love triangle or wondering how to get over one, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It only makes you human. But at this point, the only thing that matters is, which one of you three is going to get hurt and walk away? That’s something you need to decide right now.

[Read: Open relationships and why so many couples find it perfect!]

[Read: Non-monogamy and how to know if you and your partner are ready for it]

[Read: Throuple relationships, how to have one and the must-follow rules you shouldn’t ignore]

The post Love Triangle: Why It’s Sexy, Fun, Painful & Complicated All At Once is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

25 Moves to Get a Player to Like You & Hook Him Before He Hooks You

You like this guy, but he’s a bad boy. You sit around trying to figure out how to get him to notice you. So, here’s how to get a player to like you.

So, you like a player, and you want him to like you back. But how do you get a player to like you? How are you going to manage that? Well, that’s why you’re here. We’re going to guide you through the art of knowing how to get a player to like you.

But please, please remember, this person is a player. So, while you try to get them to like you, don’t get played yourself.

[Read: What makes someone a player? The biggest giveaways of a sly guy’s mind]

Why do you want to get a player to like you?

Before we tell you how to get a player to like you, we first want you to sit down and have an honest conversation with yourself.

Ask some hard questions like this. What do you like about players? What is it that attracts you to them? Do you really want to invest so much of your time and effort into someone who clearly doesn’t like being tied down? Do you just like the drama? Is it all worth it? [Read: How to tell if a guy is just playing you – 40 clear signs he’s just using you]

Here are some common reasons for liking players, but still, that doesn’t justify all the effort especially if he just has no plans of committing to one girl.

1. Thrill of the chase

People want what they can’t have. You’ve heard that before, right? It’s sad, but it’s true.

If we think something or someone is out of our reach, it makes us want it more. Plus, you want to know how to get a player to like you because the journey to try to “catch” him is fun and exciting.

2. He’s unattainable

The fact that you might not ever, ever get him, is also attractive to some girls.

Why is that? Well, it’s different for everyone. There are probably a lot of subconscious reasons that they don’t even know about themselves. [Read: 21 signs he wants you bad and is irresistibly attracted to you]

3. He’s popular

Players are usually popular. Whether it’s at a school, a club, or at work, people know who he is.

He’s probably good-looking and charming too, which is why he’s popular. And let’s face it, many girls go for the popular guys.

4. He’s a status symbol

Because he’s popular and pretty unattainable, it automatically makes him somewhat of a status symbol. If, by the off chance you actually do get to go out with him, you think that your social status will go up just by association.

5. You like the drama

As we all know, players love the drama. It’s never predictable or safe when you’re involved with – or chasing after – a player. You never know what to expect, and that drama is very exciting and addictive to some girls. [Read: Guys who play games – 17 signs and reasons and why and what you need to do]

6. You’re self-sabotaging

Maybe your self-esteem and self-worth are pretty low. In fact, you don’t think you deserve to be treated well by other people for some reason.

If that’s true, then you are subconsciously going after a bad boy because you expect to get rejected. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if a nice guy treated you with respect.

7. You think you can change him

Okay, this one is so common, but it’s really important that you understand this. Even if you do get a player to like you and go out with you, there is not a chance that you will change him.

But you secretly *or not so secretly* hope that he will fall in love with you and want to change his ways. Wake up… that is never going to happen. [Read: Why won’t he change? Why guys say they will but never do]

8. If you get him, it will make you feel special

Let’s say that you do get that bad boy player to like you. Well, you might think that makes you special.

You “settled him down” and that makes you think that you are different than the other girls. So, that’s why you keep chasing after him. Not because of him so much, but more because of yourself. [Read: 19 signs of low self esteem in a girl that shows you need self love right now]

9. Nice guys are boring

For some reason, there is that saying, “nice guys finish last.” That’s really sad, because nice guys aren’t necessarily boring at all. But they do have a lot less drama than a player.

And unfortunately, a lot of girls prefer the soap opera of a bad boy.

10. You don’t have to be good yourself

If you are involved with a player or are trying to get him to like you, you know he won’t play by the rules. He’ll probably cheat on you and treat you badly.

Well, maybe in your subconscious mind you like that because it gives you permission to behave badly yourself. You don’t have to stick to morals and ethics because he doesn’t… so why should you?

[Read: Dammit, why doesn’t he like me back? 31 reasons why guys do this]

How to get a player to like you and fall hard

As we just discussed, a lot of girls love chasing after players because they enjoy the challenge. If he looks, acts, and talks like a player, they are automatically into him. How could they not be, right?

Players are usually pretty good looking, know exactly what to say, and the right moves to make. Usually as girls get older, they realize what a waste of time it is. But, in the moment, they love it.

Listen, do we think you should get a player to like you? No, we don’t. We’re old school when it comes to this.

Players aren’t people who change magically overnight. But if you want to get a player to like you and you’ve made up your mind, you’re not going to let that get in the way of winning over his affection. Listen, we really hope it works out for you. Go get him, girl.

[Read: How to play a guy at his own game – 40 tricks to make sure you win no matter what]

1. Focus on friendship

We know you want to jump straight into the sexy guy’s bed, but you need to develop a relationship with him first. He’s a player which means he’s used to women falling for him. This guy can get any girl in the room, so this isn’t a problem for him.

But you need to offer him something else, something he doesn’t get with the other girls—friendship. Being his friend gives you an advantage. [Read: Why do guys play hard to get? The truth, 21 reasons, and what you need to do next]

2. Don’t be like the others

You see the other women falling for him and chasing him around. Don’t do this if you want to learn the art of knowing how to get a player to like you.

Remember, focus on building a friendship. If you act like the other women, he’ll see you like them. It is definitely hard, but act relaxed, in the same way you would act with your other friends.

3. Rock your confidence

If you want to make someone like you, be confident. This is a player we’re talking about, remember? They’re used to being around women and getting what they want.

Show him you love yourself and know what you’re worth. This will give him the desire to chase you because he knows you’re not going to be an easy catch. Keep your head high, shoulders back, and work that walk, girl! [Read: 30 effortlessly easy and sexy ways to keep a guy interested and hooked]

4. Don’t tell him you like him

Oh, we know you want to just blurt it out, but don’t. He’s a player which means he’s all about games.

If he knows how you feel about him right away, in his head, he’s already won. You need to put on a convincing poker face. This doesn’t mean you need to be an ice queen, but don’t be the one who confesses your feelings first. Give it time.

5. Get seducing

Well, it’s time to work your charm. That’s right, seduce him. Yes, he’s a player, but at the end of the day, he’s also a human. And when a man sees a confident woman who’s seducing him, it’s hard for him to resist.

This doesn’t mean you need to completely change the way you dress or how you do your makeup, but you should add a little flirting and eye contact into the mix. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

6. Comfortable is sexy

The traditional way of seducing a man and getting a player to like you is to put on a tight dress and heels, but you don’t have to do that.

You can if you want, but what people find most appealing is when someone is comfortable with themselves. This can be in a tight dress, or something more casual. There’s no seduction outfit you need to wear. Put on something that makes you feel sexy.

7. Be what he can’t have

That’s right. We know you want the player to have you, but right now, you need to make it look like he can’t have it.

Players are always getting what they want, that’s why they’re players. But, be someone he can’t have when he snaps his fingers. If you want a player to genuinely like you, he needs to work for your attention. [Read: How to get any guy to notice you and fall for you]

8. Be independent

Players are always around women that want to be with them. Women that need them around. But no guy wants a woman who’s going to hang off of him, especially a player.

When it comes to players, this is usually why they never commit. Sure, they like women, but the ones they’re with become clingy. So, live your own life. Join an activity, hang out with your friends, do your own thing. [Read: 26 good qualities of a woman every guy is always looking for]

9. Don’t be so available

This is something that’s really important. A player always has a couple of girls on his phone who are available whenever he needs them. You don’t want to be that girl.

Because once that happens, you’ll never leave that spot. If he calls or texts you, don’t reply right away. You need to show him he’s not on your priority list. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy and leave him craving for you]

10. Get along with his friends

Unless you don’t like his friends… then maybe you should reconsider this entire plan.

But, if you do like his friends, well, this is a great time to get to know them. A player has a strong support system amongst his male friends. They usually have an entourage. If you want to leave an impression on him, get to know his friends.

11. Be supportive

If you’re developing the friendship, great. But being a friend is more than just hanging out together. You need to show him that you’re there for him.

He probably doesn’t express his emotions to other women very often. But by being there for him, you show him the relationship is genuine and safe. [Read: How to get someone to open up and really connect]

12. Cool it with the compliments

Of course, you want to tell him he looks cute today or that you like his shirt. You can do it, with a limit.

Don’t be the person who’s throwing compliments at him like flies. It’s okay to validate his ego or self-esteem. But, if it’s excessive, well, you’ll be seeing more of his ego than anything.

13. Rock his world

If you get to the point where you are going to have sex, well, good for you. It’s not easy to make it that far. This is the night where you rock his world. Of course, he’ll need to rock yours too.

If the sex ends up being amazing, he won’t be a player anymore. He’s been with many women, so, this needs to make him change his mind about what he’s doing in life. [Read: What makes a girl good in bed -The subtle things that rock a guy’s world]

14. Be patient

We know you want this to happen quickly, but when it comes to people’s emotions, it’s not something you can force. You need to give him time to relax, open up to you, and develop a connection. If it’s a genuine connection and friendship, it’s not going to blossom overnight.

We know it can be hard because you want this player to like you, and you want things to move forward, but you can’t push too hard. Just chill. [Read: Stop chasing him – Why guys run even further when you pursue them]

15. Know when to move on

That being said, you’re probably not going to wait around for years and years. At some point, if you’re feeling he’s not into you that way, it’s time to let it go. It’s hard, we know, but what are you doing to yourself?

You can’t end up being the person who hangs around a guy endlessly, waiting for the moment when he realizes he likes you. That moment won’t happen, at least not when you’re glued to his side.

[Read: How to know when to stop texting a guy and move on with your life]

You know how to get a player to like you. Now, the next step is actually doing it. You just need to own what you’re doing, and he’ll fall head over heels.

The post 25 Moves to Get a Player to Like You & Hook Him Before He Hooks You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.