20 Signs He Wants to Cheat with You: What Do You Want to Do Now?

You know a guy and it seems like he is hitting on you. But he is committed to someone, so you’re confused. Here are the signs he wants to cheat with you.

Having a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s faithful. Are you unsure of his motive or what his behavior means? Maybe he just wants to be friends. So, it’s time you stopped questioning yourself and understood the signs he wants to cheat with you or not.

Once you figure it out, then it’s your choice as to what you’re going to do about it. One thing we can say though is that no one would like to be his girlfriend!

[Read: 14 signs you’ll only be his side chick when you think you’ll be his main girl]

The subtle but devious signs he wants to cheat with you on his girl

Let’s say you are at a club and this good-looking guy approaches you. He’s talking to you, flirting with you, but never makes a move. You might be confused because you thought he was into you. Why wouldn’t he ask you for your number?

As the night progresses he might ask you certain questions about relationships and what you thought about men with girlfriends. At the time, you might not think much about it.

You are single and not interested in guys who are taken. But, that’s the thing, he’s testing you. Why? Because he is in a relationship and thinking he could cheat with you. [Read: How to steal a guy from his girlfriend – The complete guide]

Now, whether you sleep with him or not is your choice, we’re not here to lecture you—you already know what’s ethically acceptable and what isn’t to you.

1. You feel it

Girls have intuition. The problem is we look past it and don’t believe in ourselves when we feel something. In fact, most of the time, people’s intuition is right. If you feel that he’s sweet-talking you because he wants to cheat with you, well, then you’re probably right.

Sometimes we try to talk ourselves out of intuition. We are taught to use our logic and reasoning, and not our feelings. So, if you are thinking, “He can’t want to have sex with me because he’s not single,” well, that’s probably not the truth.

Just because he’s taken doesn’t mean he still doesn’t want to hook up with you. Don’t overlook your intuition because you have it for a reason. If you feel it, you’re most likely right. [Read: A guy with a girlfriend likes you? Here’s how you can deal with it]

2. He tells you he has a girlfriend but flirts with you

He has no problem telling you he has a girlfriend. In fact, he reminds you he has one. But he doesn’t mind flirting with you and touching you in a way that doesn’t scream taken.

He is testing the waters. In a weird way, he might feel guilty if you guys hook up but he didn’t tell you he has a girlfriend. Yeah, that’s really messed up because… what about his girlfriend? He wants you to know the situation, but not her. Well, that’s just what you get with a guy who cheats.

He’s letting you know this so that if something happens, it’s not serious for him. Basically, he tells you that whatever happens, don’t get attached because he’s with another woman. [Read: 25 signs he just wants sex and all the reasons why he’s just using you for fun]

3. He initiates

Now, when a guy initiates a flirty conversation with someone, he’s interested. Let’s not play stupid and give him excuses as to why he’s approaching you. 

He approaches you because he’s interested in you. It doesn’t matter what the conversation is about, just the fact that he approached you is enough of a sign that he’s curious about you.

For some guys, it’s almost just an instinct to initiate communication or flirting with just about any girl – regardless of his relationship status. So, he will always reach out to you and hint around at hooking up. He might even come right out and say it.

4. He hides his relationship

Now, you have guys who tell you straight up that they have a girlfriend and continue to flirt with you and cross the line. They do that so that you know that whatever happens isn’t serious for them. 

However, you also have guys who completely hide their personal life, giving the impression that they’re single when they’re not. [Read: Mirco-cheating – what it is and signs you’re unintentionally doing it]

What else would you expect from a cheater? In fact, it makes more sense that he would hide his girlfriend from you. Because if he tells you, what are the chances that you would have sex with him if he tells you he wants to cheat with you? Well, it should be zero, right? At the very least, it should lower his chances… a lot.

5. He tells you

If he tells you that he wants to cheat with you, well, you don’t need to hunt for clues anymore. He tells you that he has a girlfriend so that you’re clear with where you stand in his life. He’s looking for a hookup, one that won’t ruin the relationship he already has with his girl. Basically, he’s looking for a side chick.

If this happens, you really need to take him at face value. In other words, if you are really into him and hope he will leave his girlfriend for you… don’t fool yourself. It probably won’t happen.

And even if it does, would you really want a boyfriend who is a cheater? Well, you shouldn’t because he will probably cheat on you the second he finds another girl available. [Read: 14 side chick rules to be a happy mistress minus the drama]

6. He compliments you… a lot

If you have a new haircut and he says you look nice, that doesn’t mean he wants to cheat with you. But, if he’s noticing all these small details about you and telling you that you’re beautiful every time he sees you, he’s into you.

There’s a time and place for compliments, but overdoing it shows that he wants you. 

If you haven’t heard of love bombing, go look it up. Basically, it’s when someone showers you with compliments and tells you how amazing you are. It’s like a “bomb” of “love.” But it’s fake – it’s not real. It’s just an attempt to get into your pants, and he thinks the compliments will make you cave into him. [Read: What is love bombing and how to spot the manipulation very early on] 

7. He hides you

You may work together, but his girlfriend has no idea who you are. That’s strange, why would he hide you from her? Well, he doesn’t want her to know about you because he doesn’t want there to be any suspicions.

But why would she be suspicious? Well, that’s because he wants to sleep with you.

This is a huge sign that he wants to cheat with you. If you notice him doing keeping you a secret or even ignoring you in front of his girlfriend, call him out on it.

Ask, “why are you not telling your girlfriend about me?” He will probably try to deny it, but you need to bring it up so he knows that you know what he’s up to.

8. He talks about the issues in his relationship

Usually, men don’t talk about their relationship issues with other women. Sure, they may mention it to their male friends, but if they talk to a woman they flirt with about their issues, they let her know things are rocky at home.

What happens when things are rocky? People look for cover. Meaning, this is one of those big signs he wants to cheat with you and is looking for an escape.

When he tells you about all of his relationship problems, he’s not looking for you to help him solve them for him. Actually, it’s quite the contrary. It’s his way of telling you that he’s not happy in the relationship and that he is wanting to do something to make himself happier… cheat with you! [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]

9. He’s jealous of other men around you

If you’re single, you probably have other men coming around, asking you out. This is completely normal. And sure, guys can be jealous, but if he’s in a relationship then there’s no need for him to care.

But, here’s the thing, he’s into you and wants you. Naturally, he has a problem with other men wanting and getting you. Men also like conquests. And that is what you are to him, whether or not you want to admit it to yourself or not.

When he has his “eye on the prize” *you*, he won’t want any other guys to get you first. He wants to get to the finish line, not them. So, that’s why he acts jealous of them around you. [Read: Snapchat cheating – This sneaky new trend is the ultimate betrayal]

10. He tries to spend alone time with you

Now, why else would he try to hang out with you at his house for a movie night? It’s not because the theater was sold out of tickets. He wants in your pants. His girlfriend may be out with her friends.

Now is the perfect time for him to have you over to finally make his dream of sleeping with you come true. You have to really question why would he want to spend alone time with you if he has a girlfriend.

Do you think he has no friends and can’t find something else to do? Of course, he can. [Read: 15 signs a married man is clearly attracted to you and is falling for you]

He spends alone time with you for one reason, and one reason only – he wants to cheat with you, and have sex with you. And if you are telling yourself that he’s just a good friend and it’s really just a movie, you are lying to yourself.

11. He ignored his girlfriend’s calls around you

The last thing he wants you to hear is “I love you” come out of his mouth when he’s on the phone with his girlfriend. Instead, he ignores her calls until you’re not around.

If he does answer them, he keeps them short and sweet. His sketchy behavior is because he doesn’t want to get caught.

Not only does he not want you to hear him talk to his girlfriend, but he also doesn’t want her to get suspicious either. What if you are saying something to him in the background? His girlfriend will hear it and ask him who you are. That’s the last thing he wants. [Read: 18 emotional affair signs you probably didn’t notice]

12. He stalks you on social media

Though he may play calm and cool around you, on social media, he likes all your photos and watches all your Insta stories. This is because he wants you. 

Yeah, he’s in a relationship, but his biggest desire is to get you in his bedroom. That’s why he’s so attentive when it comes to liking your photos and seeing where you are and who you’re with.

You see, showing this “affection” on social media is just a precursor to the real thing. He wants you to notice that he’s paying attention to you on there. 

He wants you to wonder whether he wants you or not. He’s throwing subtle hints about his intentions with you. Don’t overlook these clear signs he wants to cheat with you. [Read: What is emotional cheating – 15 signs to recognize an affair ASAP]

13. He jokes about going out with you

When people joke around, a lot of times there is some truth to it. Now, we’re not talking about telling a joke like, “Two Irishmen walk into a bar…” We’re talking about teasing you and sending subtle little messages about the two of you together.

So, if you find that he’s saying things like, “You would be the perfect girlfriend for me!” Or, “If I was dating you, I would never let you go!” Or “You are probably my future wife!”

He’s throwing things out there to see how you react. If you laugh and kind of shoot him down with a, “Oh stop! You have a girlfriend. You shouldn’t be saying that!” Then he knows you probably wouldn’t cheat with him. [Read: Does he like me? 23 signs to decode his body language]

14. He texts you a lot

If you had a boyfriend or a husband, would you want him texting other women on a regular basis? Most women wouldn’t. The only exception might be if she is his boss or another co-worker – and they’re really talking about work.

So, if you find that he is texting you an unusual amount – more than he should – then he is probably thinking about cheating with you. Especially if he is consistent and sends “good morning” or “good night” texts, and if he texts at times you know he’s not with his wife or girlfriend.

15. He buys you gifts

First of all, men don’t really buy a lot of gifts for people. So, if you find that he is giving you things like flowers, food, coffee, or that book you mentioned that you want to read, then he is definitely giving you a sign. It’s his subtle way of saying “I’m interested in you,” and of course, he wants to cheat with you! [Read: Does he know I like him? 18 signs he knows you have a crush on him]

Let’s face it – do people buy gifts for others that aren’t important to them? No, they don’t. And also, should a guy with a girlfriend or wife be buying things for another woman? Of course not! 

So, if he keeps bringing you little gifts, he’s thinking about cheating with you. He’s probably not quite sure how you feel about him, so he’s “feeling you out” with the gifts to try to see your reaction.

When he buys gifts, he is showing his affection for you without putting the message out there too directly. He’s hoping you notice and pick up on his hints.

16. His friends are weird around you

You might not think that guys talk to their friends about personal stuff, but they do. Well, at least a lot of them do. And that means they talk about the girls they like – or would potentially cheat with.

So, if a guy is interested in you, there’s a very good chance that he’s told his friends all about you. In fact, the friends might even know he wants to cheat with you before he does. [Read: Is he shy or not interested? 26 signs to decode a guy’s behavior]

Now, how his friends act around you might vary. Some will not be in favor of him cheating with you, but some might. Either way, look at his friends’ behavior whenever you’re around.

17. He chooses his words carefully

When he is thinking about you, he wants to get to know you well. And, he probably doesn’t want you to know too much about his relationship status.

So, if you notice that he kind of stops himself to choose different ways to talk about his life, that is probably because he is editing out the romance part.

When he talks to most people, he’s probably just used to automatically talking about his wife or girlfriend like it’s no big deal. But when he wants to cheat with you, he knows it would be a turn off. So, it will look like he’s editing his speech to get you to think about having sex with him. [Read: 35 signs of attraction from a guy who’s clearly falling for you]

18. He says you can rely on him

If you think he is going above and beyond normal and doing things just to make you happy, then that is suspicious too. He might even offer to do things for you like put together a chair you just ordered or to help you change a tire.

He also makes it obvious that you can rely on him emotionally, too. If you having a bad day, he will be there to help lift you out of the dumps to make you feel better.

If you’re afraid, anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed, he is there to support you. He wants to make your life easier. He tries to make himself available to you whenever he can. [Read: Why do men cheat? 43 reasons, excuses, and ways to stop him]

19. He shows signs of making a move

His body language will give him away. He might position his body close enough to you that you think he will go in for a kiss or a hug at any moment. 

If he hasn’t actually made a move yet, it’s because he hasn’t decided if he should. Whether it’s his guilty conscience or he thinks you aren’t ready and wouldn’t want to cheat with him, he might be holding back – even though his body gives you a different story. [Read: 16 subtle signs he wants to make a move and ask you out]

20. He wants to know everything about you

When a man is trying to woo a woman, they know that they should get deep and try to connect with them emotionally. They know that’s what girls like, so they do it.

If he wasn’t interested in you, then he would talk about surface things with you. But if you find that he is asking you every question under the sun in an attempt to get to know you really well, then that is a big sign.

The reason he does this is that if he establishes an emotional connection with you, then it will be the next logical step for the two of you to take it to the next level – sex. [Read: What is emotional cheating and 15 signs to recognize an affair ASAP]

Why men cheat

Now that you know the signs that he wants to cheat with you, let’s finish up with some reasons why men would want to cheat on their girlfriends or wives.

First of all, they are just jerks. A good man doesn’t cheat on their girlfriend or wife. They just don’t. So, that’s the thing to realize. He’s not a good person. So, don’t take it as a compliment that he wants to sleep with you. You can, but it still makes him a jerk.

Second, he’s probably not happy in his relationship. If he was, he wouldn’t be thinking about cheating with you, right?

But if he’s not happy, he should either work on the relationship or just break up. Not cheat with you. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship – The truth most people ignore]

Third, he probably just likes the chase and the challenge. It pumps up his ego. It’s sad, but it’s true. If he thinks you want to sleep with him, then he will feel better about himself.

Sadly, that’s kind of ironic, isn’t it? Feeling better about yourself while pursuing another woman. Well, that’s a cheater for you.

Final thoughts

Now that you know the signs that he wants to cheat with you, you might wonder, why does he want to? Well, there are many reasons. First, he could be unhappy in his relationship and afraid to break up. Or, he could just be very attracted to you and lacks the morals to stop himself.

So, what should you do if he wants to cheat with you?

Well, that’s up to you. But if you’re going to be someone who upholds morals and ethics, you will turn him down. You wouldn’t want to be his wife or girlfriend, would you? No one deserves to be cheated on, so you should resist. [Read: What is considered cheating these days? How to define your grey area]

If you know his wife or girlfriend, then should you tell her that he wants to cheat with you? Again, that’s up to you. It kind of depends on how well you know her. If she is a friend or family member, then it’s probably a good idea. But if she’s a stranger, then you might want to stay out of it. However, in the end, it’s all up to you.

Remember, just because he wants to cheat with you, that doesn’t mean that he will leave his wife or girlfriend for you. He might, but even if he does, would you really want to be in a relationship with a cheater? We think not.

[Read: The painful realities of being the other woman in love with a man]

You see, just because he’s in a relationship doesn’t mean he’s going to be faithful. If you feel something’s weird in his behavior, it could be one of the clearest signs he wants to cheat with you.

[Confession: I had an affair with a married man, and here’s every single thing I experienced and learned]

The post 20 Signs He Wants to Cheat with You: What Do You Want to Do Now? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

19 Signs of a Taker in a Relationship: Are You a Taker or a Giver?

There’s usually a giver and a taker in a relationship. But what does that mean? And if you’re a giver, we’ll tell you how to stop so you can be happy.

Sometimes, first impressions can fool us. We meet someone who we think is amazing, funny, and kind when they’re really self-centered and narcissistic. Sure, we may see small signs of a taker in a relationship, but we’re so charmed by them that we ignore those red flags.

Of course, what happens is we end up getting sucked into a one-sided, unhealthy relationship. As you can imagine, we’re talking from experience. It happens to the best of us. It’s another lesson to learn.

But, what’s important to recognize is if you are in this type of relationship, irrespective of whether you’re the giver or taker. Because either way, help yourself and get out of unhealthy relationships.

[Read: The worrying signs you’re being taken advantage of in a relationship]

What is a taker in a relationship?

In a relationship, there should be a perfect balance between giving to the other person and taking from them. However, this rarely happens.

Usually, the relationship is lopsided where one person is more of the taker and the other is more of a giver. The taker gets the energy and emotional investment of the giver. 

For example, a taker will sit back and let the giver do all the work in the relationship. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or something else, the taker doesn’t see any problem with it. They will also probably let the giver buy them things and take advantage of them financially too.

The bottom line is this – the taker takes advantage of the giver. They are ridiculously selfish. [Read: Are you selfish in the relationship? 19 signs you’re being a user]

What is a giver in a relationship?

The giver is convinced that there are no limits in love, so they keep giving to the taker. Sometimes a giver makes their partner the center of their world and reason for living. They think they are everything they want and need. But this is very unhealthy.

The giver will do anything for the taker. They think this is the way they should express their love. However, they get nothing in return from the taker. 

The bottom line is this – the giver is too selfless and gets taken advantage of by the taker. And they end up being a doormat. [Read: Are you a giver who’s feeling unappreciated in a relationship?]

Givers and takers as a couple

When you give someone a gift, it’s usually expected that they give one in return, right? Just like on Christmas or another holiday where gift-giving is normal.

This is how a healthy relationship should be – an equal balance of giving and taking.

There are some people who are just givers by nature. In other words, giving to other people is just part of their personality and how they prefer the dynamics of a relationship to be. They like to give because it increases their self-esteem and makes them more positive. It makes them happy. [Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

While this might sound good, sometimes the takers or “receivers” might feel pressured to give because the giver is constantly doing favors for them. Normal people would feel that way, but takers usually don’t.

If the taker never reciprocates, then the giver can find themselves in a situation where many of their actions aren’t valued or recognized. Everything they invest in the relationship – time, affection, and energy will never be returned. And after a while, they feel like they are being used and their self-esteem actually goes down as a result!

The important thing to remember is that all healthy relationships have a sense of reciprocity. [Read: How to have a good and healthy relationship that gets better with each day]

15 signs of a taker in a relationship

If you’re a taker, you may not see this as an unhealthy relationship, but it is. Don’t you want to be in an equal and loving partnership? Relationships aren’t about having someone slave over you.

And if you’re a giver, don’t you want to be loved and treated with respect? This is your chance to see if you’re either one of these types of people, so you can work on yourself and become a better and whole person.

Isn’t that what life is all about? Becoming the best version of you? Yes, it’s cheesy, but these cliché lines have a point to them.

So, are you a giver or a taker? [Read: The 20 types of lovers that exist in this world]

1. The taker needs support but never gives

The beautiful part of a relationship is that you have someone who will support you no matter what, and vice versa. But in a give/take relationship, the support is only one-way.

The taker will ask and demand support for their partner, but will not provide support to their partner. [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship you should never ever tolerate]

2. The taker always must make the first move

One of the partners is always the person to make plans. The other partner will either accept the plan or not but never make the plan themselves. And this is a problem. As a couple, both people should make and talk about plans. One person cannot be waiting to see what’s going on.

3. The giver is a maid

Yes, the giver is a maid. As a taker, the taking partner is not into cleaning up after themselves because they have someone who does their dirty work for them.

For givers, they want to please their partners. Sadly, this means the giver will literally do their laundry, even clean their partner’s bathroom. [Read: How not to be a pushover and take a stand for yourself] 

4. The giver pays for everything

If someone is a taker, they won’t take their wallet out and pay for a meal or movie tickets. Why would they?

Everything has been handed to them on a silver spoon. They’re spoiled and entitled. As a giver, this person will be the one who’ll go broke to make the other person happy. 

5. The giver is never doing enough

If you’re a giver, you’ll never do enough for a taker. You could fly to the moon and back; that still wouldn’t suffice. Givers are never recognized for their effort.

Instead, the taker will manipulate them, making them do even more and more. Obviously, the giver will burn out with time. 

6. There’s a lot of double texting

Is someone in your relationship double texting all the time? Either way, it’s not a good sign. Someone who double texts their partner frequently does so because they’re not getting an answer.

If you’re not replying or taking hours to reply to your partner, it’s one of the clearest signs of a taker in a relationship and you’re not giving much attention to the needs of your partner. [Read: Why do narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do?]

7. The taker doesn’t show much affection

Why would they show affection? They’re not appreciative of what their partner is doing. Instead, they make their partner feel like a slave.

If the giver wants affection, they must come and ask for it. That being said, it doesn’t mean they’re going to get any.

8. The taker never initiates sex

Again, why would they? They get everything they want without lifting a finger. Sex is a chore for them. And if the taker feels horny, then they’ll come and get what they want. But it’s always on their terms, and they’re never up to talking about it. [Read: How to get a selfish lover to be more giving]

9. Date night is a burden for the giver

It could be you or your partner, but there is one giver who needs to make date plans. They research and arrange everything, while the other person sits back and waits to be served. One of the two people obviously has it a lot easier than the other. [Read: Only child syndrome – The good and the bad of dating an only child]

10. The giver’s needs are ignored

We all have needs, whether we’re in a relationship or not. But, when you get into a relationship, sometimes your needs are overlooked. It happens, and that’s when you talk about it with your partner.

But a taker has no intention to focus on the giver’s needs in the relationship. They only want the giver to focus on their needs.

11. The giver spoils their partner with lavish gifts

We don’t want to say it’s all of the giver’s fault, but they don’t make the situation easier on themselves. The giver shows their partner that they love them. They buy expensive gifts to surprise them. And of course, the taker likes it.

But, if the person receiving the gifts unhesitatingly accepts any gift but never reciprocates the same gesture, it’s usually one of the clear signs of a taker in a relationship. [Read: 15 signs of a codependent relationship to know if you’re being taken for granted]

12. The taker needs the spotlight

It’s all about them. As a giver, you may have an issue you want to talk about or even something to celebrate, but your partner won’t let you have that moment.

A taker needs constant attention and will make sure the conversation is always centered around them.

13. The taker will never go the extra mile

A giver will surprise their partner with unexpected gifts and remember the small things going on in their partner’s life.

But the taker will never go the extra mile. If they do, their partner will always be reminded of it. It’s not something the taker will do naturally; rather, it’s strategically done. [Read: What is one-sided love? How to cope when you’re not loved back]

14. The taker uses their partner

This is essentially what it all comes down to. A taker in a relationship will suck out and drain all the goodness from their giving partner until they’re no longer needed or until the giver puts their foot down. The taker is really only available to their partner when they need something from them.

15. The taker thinks they’re a giver

The taker actually thinks very highly of themselves and twists the truth around in their head. They believe they’re God’s gift to this earth.

They make sure everyone is under the impression that they’re giving and kind when really, they’re just selfish and conceited. [Read: How to deal with a narcissist in the best way you possibly can]

How to stop being a giver in a relationship

If you are the giver in your relationship and you feel like you’re being taken advantage of by a taker, here are some things you can do to make things better.

[Read: Selfless love – 18 traits that sets it apart from selfish love]

1. Stop doing things for them

It sounds simple, and it actually is. If you’re the giver in the relationship, just stop doing things for the taker. Stop doing the laundry, making their lunch, or rubbing their feet. Just stop. There is no reason you have to do these things. 

Hopefully, once you stop doing everything for the taker, they will notice. They might even get angry in the beginning and accuse you of being lazy or selfish. Just point out that you are just mirroring their own behavior. Then ask how they like it. [Read: How to make him realize your worth and see that you deserve better]

2. Set boundaries

Have a talk with yourself and write down how far you will go with doing something. Sure, you can’t stop cleaning the house or cooking dinner. But, you can start only cleaning your own mess and making your partner clean theirs.

You have to set boundaries with a taker in the relationship, or else your partner will just keep walking all over you because you have none at the moment. [Read: Healthy relationship boundaries – How to talk about them and set them]

3. Be selfish

Being selfish isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be self-love sometimes. When you give and give and give, you are depriving yourself of receiving things that you deserve. 

So, you need to start being more selfish. Once you love yourself enough, you will realize that you not only will start enjoying life more, you will be a lot happier too.

4. Learn to say no

“No” – it’s such a small word. But it has powerful implications in our life. When your partner tells you to do something for them, just say no.

Require more of your partner. Start telling them what to do. Demand more of them.

One of two things will happen. Either they will do it after seeing things from your perspective, and you’ll be happier. Or they don’t, and then you might want to think about ending the relationship for your own sanity.

[Read: How to recognize selfish people and stop them from hurting you]

After looking at the signs of a giver and taker in a relationship, where do you see yourself on the spectrum? Where do you see your partner? Self-reflect and make changes if necessary.

The post 19 Signs of a Taker in a Relationship: Are You a Taker or a Giver? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

43 Things to be Grateful For You Don’t Appreciate Enough in Life

Many people take things in life for granted, which is sad. So, you need to remember these things to be grateful for so you can enjoy life to the fullest.

People go through life without truly appreciating what they have. Honestly, it’s hard to sit back and be happy with what you have in life when there’s so much left to want and desire. Most of us aren’t living the lives we want to. But there are still things to be grateful for.

Everyone should spend more time acknowledging the great things they have. Even on your worst day, there’s still something to appreciate. Overlooking those things will put you on the fast track to misery.

[Read: How to be grateful – 20 authentic ways to appreciate and express it]

Why not being grateful will make you have an unhappy life

This is actually very simple to explain. As humans, we always have wants and desires. And the grass is always greener. You could have something you’ve always dreamed of today, but within a week of having it, you’d want something new!

If you’re always looking at what you don’t have, you’ll always be unhappy.

You’ll see everything you wish you had and this puts you in a negative mindset. The more you look at what you want and the fact that you’re not getting it, the worse off your life will be.

On the flip side, if you focus on everything you have that fulfills your life and gives you happiness, you’ll be in a much better place. Stop looking up at what you want and look around you. You’ll realize you have everything you might possibly need already. [Read: Positive vibes – 17 ways to welcome positivity and have a better life]

Things to be grateful for that you might not appreciate as much as you should

As easy as it is to say to look at everything you have instead of what you don’t, it’s truly not that simple. We’re humans. We crave more.

We want a better life than what we have and while that’s not a bad thing, it can dampen our perception of how great our lives truly are.

That’s why we’ve compiled some things to be grateful for that you might overlook in your day-to-day life. Next time you’re feeling down about your life, remember to appreciate these things. [Read: Giving up on life – 25 ways to find strength and change your attitude]

1. Your home

If you have a place to sleep each night with a roof over your head, consider yourself very lucky. Appreciate it. There are many, many people not as fortunate as you.

2. Your health

If you’re in relatively good health without any major issues, be grateful. Many people aren’t as lucky to go through life with health as great as yours.

3. Your family

Family can be tough to appreciate – everyone understands that. And if you’re someone who’s lost touch with family, then be grateful for those you consider family. Not everyone is lucky enough to have their family at all.

4. Being able to work

Working for a living is a luxury. Yes, you read that right. It seems difficult to fathom that being able to work should be seen as a great thing. You have the freedom to work and earn a living. Cherish this. Be grateful for the opportunity you have. [Read: How to choose between your love or your career]

5. Your friends

Friends are an interesting thing. You choose these people to surround you with happiness, essentially. Be grateful for them. Appreciate them and let them know you love having them in your life. [Read: What makes a good friend? 15 traits we desperately seek in others]

6. Your pets

This is something far too many people don’t appreciate enough. What about your pets? They give you endless love and attention and do you really ever appreciate the fact that you have them? Many people in your life will never care about you the way your pet does.

7. The food you eat

The fact that you get to eat day in and day out is a privilege. This is not a guarantee for many people.

Remember that you’re lucky enough to eat and, for the most part, eat what you want. This will help you think of your life on happier terms.

8. The love in your life

If you’re in a relationship and have someone special, count yourself lucky. Many people out there aren’t able to be with who they want.

We often appreciate our loved ones but more people need to appreciate the fact that they are allowed to express their love. [Read: 16 ways to show your appreciation for someone you love]

9. Being able to read

This is another one you probably never think of. Not everyone can read and write. It’s a luxury that makes your life way better than you probably can even imagine. Be grateful for this.

10. Laughter

How many times in your life has laughter made everything better? Probably a lot. Appreciate the moments when you can share your laughter with those closest to you. [Read: How to laugh more and learn to love life]

11. A bed to sleep in

In addition to a home to live in, you have a bed. Some people who have roofs over their heads aren’t as fortunate to be able to sleep in comfort. Your bed is with you every night and yet, how often have you been grateful to have it?

12. Clean drinking water

There are far too many places in this world without clean drinking water for you to take it for granted. Remember all of the luxuries you have that are basic survival needs others don’t always get.

13. Art

Some of the things to be grateful for can be quite simple. However, if you think of a life without them, like art, it becomes less positive.

Art shapes many different people’s lives. The car you drive, the home you live in, and most else you come into contact with during your day were built because of art.

14. Celebrations of any kinds

This is something we don’t appreciate enough. We celebrate a lot of things in order to appreciate those things, but do you ever show gratitude for being able to celebrate in the first place? It’s not allowed everywhere. [Read: 15 romantic ways to celebrate your anniversary]

15. Waking up today

Need we say more? You’ve been given another day. Appreciate this so you never fail to live each day fully.

16. Being able to see

Many people live in a world of black. You don’t. Be grateful for this. Your life would be worlds different if you had no vision.

17. Sunsets

The sun gives you many things but the moment before it goes away for the night is better than art.

Have you ever really taken a moment to be grateful for them? If not, you should start. Staring off into the sunset can make a lot of things better. [Read: How to pull off an amazing sunset proposal]

18. Forms of entertainment

There are so many forms of entertainment out there just to keep you happy. But sometimes you don’t even think about how lucky you are to have it. Be thankful for your Netflix and your baseball games and your music. These are luxuries far too many people take for granted.

19. Electricity

Something that seems so insignificant literally runs your life. Make sure to appreciate that you have electricity to keep your food cold, to cook your food, to keep you cool in the heat and warm in the cold.

20. Being able to learn

You have access to more than you think. With the ability to learn, all you have to do is read or watch, and you obtain knowledge. This is something we all take for granted far too much.

21. Money in the bank

Most people in the world live on less than $750 per year. So, if you have money in the bank and aren’t living paycheck to paycheck, then you should be very grateful for that. You are among the richest people in the world! [Read: How to talk about money with your partner without fighting about it]

22. Freedom of religion

There was a time in history when people couldn’t choose which God to worship. So, if you have freedom of religion, you are lucky to be able to choose your own spirituality.

23. Time off from work

Think about how difficult it was for slaves in history. They got up at the crack of dawn and worked hard labor in very bad weather conditions without ever getting a day off. So, if you get time off from work, that is something to be grateful for.

24. Getting an education

There are still a lot of countries in the world that deny their citizens a good education. Some people can’t read, and some governments won’t let girls go to school. So, having an education is very fortunate.

25. Being able to breathe

Some people have a lot of breathing problems. Whether it’s COPD, asthma, or emphysema, many people routinely have to gasp for every breath they take. They don’t have the luxury of easy breathing. Just take a deep breath, and realize that this is something you should be very grateful for.

26. Being able to walk

Similar to being able to breathe, if you are able to walk on your own, then that is a gift. So many people are confined to wheelchairs because of paralysis or another disease that affects their mobility. [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]

27. Cars

Would you have liked to live at a point in history when you had to ride a horse or take a carriage everywhere? Probably not. Cars have given us the ability to travel long distances in short amounts of time.

28. Safety and security

If you live in an area where you don’t fear for your physical safety, then you are blessed. Many people don’t have that luxury and are worried for themselves and their loved ones all the time.

29. Cell phones

If you’re too young to remember a world without cell phones, then you don’t know how easy you have it. From GPS to texting, cell phones just make our lives so much easier. [Read: 15 cell phone rules every couple as to follow to rebuild trust]

30. Books

Reading books is good for your brain. Having access to books is a privilege, even though it might not seem like it is.

31. Kindness of others

There are a lot of good people in the world who contribute kindness to others. Be grateful for them that they are spreading positivity around.

32. Pain

This seems like it doesn’t belong on this list, does it? But when you go through pain, you learn from it. And, you are grateful for the times when you are not in pain. [Read: When people hurt you – How to deal with the pain and respond to them]

33. Indoor plumbing

Would you like to go out to an outhouse in the middle of the snow in the winter just to use the restroom? Or to walk two miles to a river to get water to drink? Of course not.

34. Wisdom from mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s never fun. But the good thing that comes from doing stupid things is that you can learn to never do it again. Then you can warn your children and save them the heartbreak of making them themselves. [Read: How to stop making the same mistakes in a relationship and learn]

35. Grocery stores

If we didn’t have grocery stores, then most of us would have to resort back to being hunters and living off the land. That sure doesn’t sound like a lot of fun to have to kill animals just so you can eat.

36. Your mind

Many people have declining brain function. Whether it’s Alzheimer’s disease or a stroke, if your brain is functioning properly, you are lucky.

37. Air conditioning and heating

We are spoiled nowadays because we aren’t ever too hot or too cold. So, you can thank heating and air conditioning for that.

38. Hearing

It wouldn’t be fun to live in a world of silence and have to rely on lip-reading or sign language to communicate with other people. [Read: How to have a sexy, interesting voice – 17 steps to make everyone love your voice]

39. Children

Kids have such an exuberance to them. They love life and laugh a lot more than adults. We should be happy to have them around. [Read: Dating a man with kids – 10 things you need to be prepared for]

40. Modern medicine

Modern medicine has achieved great things. From organ transplants to replacing hip joints, it has made a lot of people’s lives a lot easier.

41. Music

Who doesn’t like music? It can bring back memories and put us in a better mood. Music is something that can bring great joy to everyone’s lives.

42. Inventors

Without inventors, we would still be living in the stone age. Everything new that they create has mostly made our lives easier and better.

43. Internet

Think about all the things we can do with the internet. We can talk in real-time on video with someone halfway around the world. The internet has opened up so many things to us.

[Read: 25 ways to show someone you appreciate them without using words]

These may very well seem like super simple things to be grateful for, but just picture your life without one of them. It wouldn’t be very fun to live in a world without even one of these things. Remember that when you’re feeling ungrateful!

The post 43 Things to be Grateful For You Don’t Appreciate Enough in Life is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The First Fight in a Relationship: 25 Things You Need to Do Next

When we’re newly in love, we don’t expect to have any conflict. But you will eventually have your first fight in a relationship. Here’s how to handle it.

During the honeymoon phase with your partner, it’s hard to believe that you will ever reach the moment when you’ll disagree. How could you two fight? You’re in love, and you can’t imagine the first fight in a relationship!

With time, the honeymoon phase will slowly subside, and the real differences will start to show. This isn’t a bad thing; everyone is different, and arguments are bound to happen. You can have differences in your relationship and remain happy and in love.

But what’s important is that together you use the argument as a tool to improve your relationship.

[Read: Why fighting in a relationship is so important and how to do it right]

15 things to do after the first fight in a relationship

If you want to make conflict a positive tool, you must learn not only how to argue, but also what to do after an argument. After a disagreement is when you can form constructive solutions that will improve your relationship. So, having fights are normal, and they will happen.

Here’s how to use your first fight in the relationship as a way to help your relationship and solve issues before they become bigger. Because not all fights are bad ones.

1. Don’t panic

Yes, you just had your first fight. You thought you would never disagree with your partner? Fights happen in relationships, but they don’t mean your relationship is doomed. All this means is that you have a difference of opinions on a topic and need to talk about it.

There’s no point in panicking. When you panic, you overreact and make decisions purely out of emotion. [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

2. Don’t give your partner the cold shoulder

We’re not two years old. You would probably love nothing more than to give your partner the cold shoulder, but this isn’t a sign of maturity.

If anything, this shows your inability to communicate your feelings to your partner. Push through this and try your hardest to say how you feel openly, with the intention of expressing yourself instead of trying to hurt them with your words. [Read: Relationship arguments – 27 dos and don’ts you should never ever forget]

3. Give each other *a little bit of* space

If it was a heated argument, give each other a little bit of space. Now, you shouldn’t give them days and days of space, that won’t help. You don’t want to talk about it days later when everything has passed.

When you’ve cooled down *either in a couple of hours or after a good night’s sleep*, re-approach your partner and see if they want to talk about it.

4. Extend the olive branch

Someone must make the first move after the first fight in the relationship; it may or may not be you. But someone will have to re-approach the subject again.

If you feel it’s the right time, then make the first move and extend the olive branch. You don’t need to talk about it right away; a hug can help ease the tension. [Read: 15 romantic gestures in a new relationship all new couples need to know]

5. Don’t just say, “I’m sorry” 

Saying, “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean much unless it comes with some sort of action or solution. If you yelled at them, for example, you cannot just say, “I’m sorry.”

Instead, after apologizing, explain what your apology means and how you’ll change. Don’t forget; you’ll need to actually live up to your words. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to your lover]

6. Listen to your partner

If you want to resolve this conflict after the first fight in your new relationship, sit down with your partner and listen to how they’re feeling. They need to express themselves without you getting angry or judgmental. Simply listen to their side of the story, and then, when it’s your turn, talk. 

7. Own up to any hurt you may have caused

There were two of you in the argument, right? Sure, your partner may have been in the wrong, but you probably weren’t an angel either.

So, if there’s anything you need to own up to, take responsibility for it. If you said something hurtful towards your partner, own up to it. [Read: 12 new relationship boundaries new couples must draw early on]

8. If they re-approach the topic, don’t walk away

Your partner may come back to you to talk about the problem after a couple of minutes of cooling down. And this is them extending the olive branch.

It takes a lot for someone to swallow their pride and ego, and humble themselves to make the first step, and you shouldn’t walk away from them if they reach their hand out.

9. Share your side of what happened, but without shifting blame

You should listen to your partner and their side of the story, but they should also listen to your side and how the argument made you feel.

But what’s most important is that you do not shift the blame and point fingers at them. Simply express how the first relationship fight made you feel. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]

10. Avoid giving low-blows and jabs

It’s easy to use low-blows and insults against your partner during the first fight in a relationship. You want to come out as the winner, and this tactic is when you don’t want to take responsibility for your own actions.

Low-blows and jabs won’t make the situation any better; it’ll only make your partner feel bad about themselves.

11. Look at the root of the issue

After everything has settled down from the first relationship fight, it’s important to take a look at the real root of the problem.

It wasn’t the fact your partner forgot to buy you the lemons you asked for; there’s something deeper behind it. Sit with your partner and dig into the real meaning of what’s going on.

12. It’s time to look for a solution

After your first fight in the relationship, you’re probably a bit shaken up. It makes sense. But this doesn’t mean you should just put the issue aside and live your life.

Come up with a solution for this problem with your partner, or else it’ll keep coming up. [Read: New relationship advice to make sure you have a perfect start to your romance]

13. Preventative planning helps

Maybe your first argument didn’t happen exactly how you’d like. Maybe there was way more yelling than necessary.

If that’s the case, it’s important you and your partner look at preventative methods. It could be avoiding certain trigger words or knowing when to pull back when things are becoming a little too heated.

14. If the topic keeps coming up, consider a relationship counselor

There will be many fights where you will never re-discuss the topic ever again. But then there will be some things that will reoccur several times after your first fight.

If this happens, and you’re unable to come up with a solution, seek a professional. They have the tools to help you get on the right track. [Read: Why you keep having the same fight over and over again – How to break this unhealthy habit]

15. No, you don’t need to have makeup sex

You’ve watched enough rom-coms to know that after a fight, couples would have hot and steamy sex. But that’s not something you need to do.

If you’re not feeling like being sexual with your partner, you don’t need to be. But, let them know you love and care for them, give them a hug or tell them you love them. [Read: How to have make up sex – The art of mastering the romp after the rage]

How to handle conflicts the RIGHT way after your first fight

Most people hate to fight because they think it harms their relationship. However, that’s not necessarily true. It can be true, but not always.

The thing you need to know about conflicts is that it’s a natural process. Whenever you have two or more people together, having differences of opinions is inevitable. So, we just need to accept it as a fact of life instead of trying to outrun it or pretend like it doesn’t exist.

So, conflict in and of itself isn’t inherently good nor bad. What matters is how the people handle the conflict. Most people aren’t taught how to handle a fight effectively, and that’s why most people hate to have any conflict at all. [Read: How to stop fighting in a relationship and 16 steps to really talk]

What exactly is conflict in a relationship?

When most people hear that word, they think of “fighting.” But having a conflict doesn’t mean that you have to fight in your relationship. Fighting is negative because you are competing with each other in order to “win” and be “right.”

But all conflict really is this: perceived incompatible goals.

In other words, you both think you want different things. The emphasis on the word “perceived” means that you might actually agree, you just don’t know it. [Read: Are relationship fights normal? 15 signs you’re fighting too often]

Is conflict always destructive to a relationship? 

Believe it or not, conflict can be productive. That might sound really difficult to believe especially after the first fight in a relationship, but it’s true. But of course, it can be destructive. And here’s why.

First, fighting the wrong way increases strain on a relationship. It makes both people defensive, and they feel emotions like distrust, anger, and stress. When this happens – or goes on for a long time – it can create a lot of resentment on both sides. Eventually, it can ruin relationships.

But if you handle conflict the right way, it can be productive to your relationship. It can actually enhance it and make it better. However, you can’t fight when you are angry. Instead, you have to cool down so you can talk calmly and rationally to work out your problems.

When you are cooling down, then you should look at yourself and your emotions. It’s a time when you should understand why you see things the way you do, and why you feel the way you feel. Once you understand this, then you can share your perspective with your partner, and they should do the same. [Read: How to stop fighting with your boyfriend and hurting each other]

The good and bad ways to fight in a relationship

Most people have a dominant way that they “fight” and approach conflict. A lot of them are very toxic to a relationship and should be avoided. Let’s look at them.

1. Competing

This style is almost always destructive to a relationship, whether it’s the first fight or the hundredth. When someone has this approach, they see their partner as their “enemy.” They feel like they need to “win” the argument against their opponent.

But when you do this, you’re really fighting against yourself – even though it doesn’t seem like it. You should view yourselves as a team, not two individual competitors. When you fight against each other, then nothing will get resolved.

2. Avoiding

This isn’t a healthy approach either. It’s understandable that most people want to avoid fighting. But when you do that, you never solve any problems. And that doesn’t mean they go away.

When you avoid your problems, they just pile up over time. Then one day, there are just too many problems that weren’t dealt with, so it feels like it’s impossible to solve them all. [Read: Power struggles in a relationship – 19 signs and ways to overcome it]

3. Accommodating

This occurs when one person just gives in to the other one and lets them “win.” Now, this isn’t always a bad idea. It depends on the situation.

For example, if you’re out to dinner with your boss and spouse, it’s not worth fighting in front of your boss. So, you should just give in for the moment.

But if this is a strategy that is used all the time, then it can be destructive. Especially if it’s always the same person giving in. Over time, resentment will develop for never getting their needs met.

4. Compromising or collaborating

These are the best two styles to use in every relationship fight, and not just your first one. Compromising happens when you both give a little and get a little. You both make a compromise and meet in the middle. Even though no one gets exactly what they want, it’s at least a fair strategy.

Collaborating is when you look at all the underlying issues involved and try to please both people. That way, everyone is happy. It’s not easy to do, but in the next section, we will outline the steps you need to take in order to do this. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]

Steps for working through conflict the right way

As you can see, you want to try to use this collaborating approach in the future. Now that you’re past the first fight in your relationship, here’s how to learn to collaborate and fight in a way that’s productive for you, your partner and the relationship, every single time.

1. Identify your problem and unmet needs

You both need to agree on the central problem. Then you both have to present to each other what your unmet needs are. What do you want to happen? What does a good solution look like to you? 

2. Make a date to talk

Schedule a time for you to sit down with each other and talk through the problem and figure out solutions. It might sound silly to actually schedule a time to talk, but it helps hold both of you accountable. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

3. Describe your problems and needs

Since you both have examined your individual needs, you need to present them to your partner so they can listen and try to understand what you want. [Read: How to handle the awkward tension after a relationship argument]

4. Consider your partner’s point of view

Don’t just focus on your needs. You really need to be a good listener and have empathy when listening to your partner. See it from their point of view, and tell them how you feel about it.

5. Negotiate a solution

Now that you have everything out on the table, then you should figure out a solution that you are both happy with. Keep talking until you are fully satisfied. [Read: Why fighting in a relationship is important and how to do it right]

6. Follow through with your actions

It’s not enough just to talk and come up with a solution after a relationship fight. You actually have to follow through with taking action. Now that you’ve had your first fight, learning to change your behavior in the future is key to following through with your mutually agreed-upon solutions.

[Read: 25 things couples in happy relationships always talk about]

Having the first fight in a relationship is inevitable. It’s something that is unavoidable. But not only you can decide how you’ll handle the aftermath, but you can also handle conflict better in the future now that you know the right way to do it.

The post The First Fight in a Relationship: 25 Things You Need to Do Next is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Boost Your Meet-to-Lay Ratio | Chat w/ Alek Rolstad

What would you give for a sky-high meet-to-lay ratio?

That is, if for every 5-10 women you approached with intent to seduce, at least one of them ended up in your bed?

Raise your ratio and raise your number of bedmates.

In this podcast interview, I speak with master seducer Alek Rolstad about how to bring your meet-to-lay ratio down and take more girls to bed.

We also discuss Alek's own story, the art of sexual prizing (and many wrinkles thereof), and the three (3) spots Alek's opened up for coaching students and what coaching with him entails.

Here's the interview:

How to Be Consistent Picking Up Girls

There are many ways to be more consistent when out picking up women. More seductive tools, greater awareness of your surroundings, less reliance on mood, and more.

Hey guys. Welcome back.

This post is for advanced guys or those who want to work their way into the advanced level.

I’ve written much about consistency and getting results consistently before. I’ve also written about getting a high meet-to-lay ratio (how many you meet compared to how many you seal the deal with).

Both are closely correlated since a higher meet-to-lay ratio means more consistency.

Getting a high meet-to-lay ratio and becoming consistent correlates with how tight your game is and how good you are with women.

I’ve mentioned that calibration was the key to the high meet-to-lay ratio, and thus consistency. I want to elaborate on what leads to consistency. So today, I’ll discuss what makes one consistent.

First, a few words on the meet-to-lay ratio.

What Makes a Girl Good in Bed? 23 Sex Bomb Moves Guys Deeply Desire

Blowjobs, sex positions, and enthusiasm… is that what makes a girl good in bed? That’s a good start, but there is a lot more to the art of sexuality too.

Before anything else, what makes a girl good in bed is subjective. Men are human beings. They’re all unique in their own ways. Not everyone likes blowjobs or large breasts, for example. And that’s the beautiful part about attraction and sex: everyone has their own preferences.

So before we go on, it’s important to understand that, at the end of the day, what makes a girl good in bed isn’t so cut and dry. But we will tell you the general preferences of what makes a girl a bomb in the bed.

What makes a girl good in bed? The little things to know

This seems to be a question many people want the answer to – a woman or a man! Now from what the movies and popular culture tell us, men are looking for some blonde bombshell with giant boobs that only exist in porn films.

But in reality, that’s not what men want, which is great news for everyone. Those are unrealistic beauty standards that frankly are non-existent.

[Read: What do guys like in bed? 32 things they want and absolutely lust after]

When people are young, they don’t know much about sex, and what they do know is sometimes wrong.

A lot of women think men are looking for extremes, for girls who would deep throat like they haven’t eaten for days. Even though they don’t know what any of it means or even how to do it, many have that expectation.

But the reality is much different. Let’s find out what makes a girl good in bed in the real world.

1. Enthusiasm

No one wants to have sex with someone who seems like she’s not so into the whole sex thing. Behaving like a prude could be a turn-on if you’re playing games in bed, but if you’re behaving like you’re repulsed by the experience, no guy would enjoy that!

A girl who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience. She’s into giving the guy a blowjob, comfortable talking about her sexual desires, or simply showing excitement to have sex with the guy. [Read: 16 sex moves to surprise your boyfriend and get him hard and horny]

2. Communication

Sex is all about communication; without it, it’s going to be bad sex. You don’t need to have a three-hour-long conversation about sex, but you need to be on the same page. 

What feels good for you, what feels good for him. If you both don’t know what pleasures each other, there’s going to be a big problem.

3. There’s genuine chemistry

Sex is all about chemistry. The best sex you’ll have is with someone you’re vibing with.

He’s really into you; you’re really into him, and bam! That’s where the magic happens. If there’s not genuine chemistry, and you’re both doing it just because, expect to have bad sex. It’s as simple as that. [Read: 20 signs of strong sexual tension to know you make each other horny]

4. She’s got self-confidence

If you’re wondering what makes a girl good in bed, know that a woman who’s good in bed is a woman who is confident about herself. Listen, we all have our insecurities, but when you’re in the moment, let go and enjoy it. 

Self-confidence is sexy, considering how much pressure women are put under. It hinders the experience, making them feel less present. A little bit of confidence can go a long way.

5. Openness

This doesn’t mean you need to tell your partner every single sexual experience you’ve had, that’s not what being open is about. What we’re talking about is being open about your sexual desires, what feels good for you. You need to know or else how can you enjoy yourself in bed?

6. She likes taking charge

Many women want to take charge, but they’re scared. And this is a common complaint from men; they want a woman who takes charge. 

Listen, though a girl who can take charge is good in bed, this doesn’t mean a girl who doesn’t is bad. If you’re the guy, you can also help her initiate sex when she wants it. [Read: 16 seductive moves to initiate sex and take the lead in bed]

7. Cuddle sessions

Though many men say they don’t like cuddling, the truth is they’re lying. Okay, not all of them, but many men don’t want to look weak, so, they’ll say they don’t enjoy cuddling. But they’re human! 

People love physical contact. If a girl cuddles after sex, it’s a way to bond and unwind from the experience. Aftercare is important. [Read: All the cuddling positions you need to be a loving cuddler] 

8. Knows how to have fun

Sex isn’t supposed to be a serious event. There can be times where sex is intense and aggressive, for example. But if you’re not having fun and laughing during sex, then what’s the point? A girl who’s good in bed is someone who’s enjoying the experience and having fun.

9. No judging

No one wants to be open with someone else about their sexual fantasies and then be judged for it. It doesn’t mean you have to engage in all the activities you and your partner fantasize about, but a girl who’s good in bed will not make a guy feel bad for his sexual desires. And that makes a great partner.

10. She’s vocal

Silence can really be a buzzkill. It doesn’t mean you need to be yelling and screaming off the top of your lungs. 

When you feel comfortable expressing yourself during sex, you’ll enjoy the experience more, and that’ll make any guy feel great as well. [Read: How to moan and look and sound sexy AF while making out]

11. She’s flirtatious

When someone is sexually attracted to another, they flirt. Flirting is designed to build up sexual tension between two people. Women aren’t the only ones who want to feel desired; men, want to feel desired too. 

If you’re flirtatious, you’re sending off signs that you’re into the guy. If this is done before sex, well, it’ll create even more sexual tension.

12. She shows him what she likes

Men are very visual creatures. So, showing him what you like makes a girl good in bed. Don’t be afraid to move his hands, position your body the way you like it, and use words and nonverbals to make sure he is doing what you like.

You could even lay on the bed and touch yourself while you tell him to look but not touch. That’s a good way to show him what you like. [Read: 20 sexy things guys like in bed but won’t ask for and why they don’t]

13. Eye contact

A guy wants to see how you are feeling and reacting when you are getting it on. They look into your eyes to get a sense of how much you are enjoying it. 

Plus, eye contact is also a form of emotional connection – and yes, guys like that too. The more you can lose yourself in the moment and bask in the pleasure he is giving you, the better lover you are.

14. She should initiate sometimes

Sure, we think of males as the dominant sex. But sometimes they don’t want to be. There are times when a man wants you to initiate sex so he doesn’t have to. It makes him feel wanted. 

They like to be seduced just like we do. So, initiating sex sends him the message that you want him, and that boosts his confidence level. Even better, ask him how he would like you to initiate it and then do it.

15. She should actively participate

Men don’t like having sex with a “dead fish.” In other words, they don’t just want you to lay there like a log and not move as he gets his rocks off. They like a girl who actively participates. 

What makes a girl good in bed is doing things like thrusting your hips in sync with his thrusts, grinding your hips, and flexing your muscles. You can also squeeze his arms and pull his body closer to yours, or use your lips to explore his body. All of these things will let him know you are enjoying yourself.

16. She should try different positions

Guys want variety. So, if you’re with a man and you only want to do the missionary position, he’s going to get bored. He will crave something different.  [Read: Reverse missionary – how to drive your lover wild in bed]

This doesn’t mean you should completely leave your comfort zone, but moving your body into different positions allows him to have an exciting time with yourself in bed. [Read: The 10 best sex positions for sex that’ll make any guy think you’re a complete pro in bed!]

17. She should be spontaneous

It’s so easy to fall into a routine or a rut when you are in a relationship. That’s why spontaneity is hot for men. You should try something that he is not expecting, like bringing in a new toy or prop. 

Go to a sex toy shop and see what fun things you can buy to surprise him in bed. Or attack him when you are out in public, but out of sight of other people *you don’t want to get arrested!*.

18. She should dominate sometimes

Anyone who knows anything about BDSM knows that there is a dynamic called the dominant and the submissive.

Now, we’re not suggesting you go that far, but sometimes a guy likes to be dominated in bed. They are probably used to doing it themselves, so this is a refreshing change of pace for a lot of them. [Read: How to dominate a man in bed – 14 ways to be a dominatrix goddess]

You should tell him to follow your directions in bed and if he disobeys you, he’ll be “punished.” Act like his boss and tell him how you want him to touch you. Tell him what to say, and direct everything he does with you. It’s fun to watch him and let him know that you’re in control.

19. Get a little kinky

Sure, dominating a guy in bed is a little kinky, but why not try to do a little more than that? Get out of your comfort zones and try something out of the ordinary. 

If you’re in a relationship, then you will want to have a discussion about it first. Talk about your boundaries and what you both want. Ask him what he considered taboo when it comes to sex and what he is willing to try.

You could try something simple like pulling out a blindfold out of the blue without warning him. This isn’t too crazy, and it shows that you are putting thought into making your love life a bit spicier. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas you should try at least once in your lifetime]

20. Talk about your fantasies

Sometimes guys are afraid to talk about their fantasies because it can make them feel vulnerable. But fantasies can also be hot. Encourage him to tell you all about what he would like to do and tell him that you’ll try your best to fulfill them if you can.

If he’s hesitant to talk about it at first, then you should tell him what you like. This makes it more comfortable for him to talk and will create more of a safe space. You might even discover that you have some fantasies in common, and that would be an easier way to turn them into a reality. [Read: Male sexual fantasies – 16 top dirty desires every guy has in mind]

21. Love your body

You might be self-conscious about your body, but trust us, if he’s having sex with you, then he likes it. Guys don’t like it when girls aren’t confident about how they look. 

So, you need to act confident when you are in bed. It’s a turn-on for guys – even more so than if you had a supermodel body. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.

22. Get primal

Acting like an “animal” in bed can be really hot for both of you. In other words, if you just throw yourself on the bed and scream, “take me!” and beg him to rip off your clothes immediately, then he will be psyched. 

He will be primed and ready for real and raw sex with you. You could even let him tear your shirt off in the intensely passionate moment. [Read: How to have rough sex and 15 dirty moves to have the wildest time ever]

23. Sometimes you should do all the work

Not only are there occasions when guys like to just sit back and be pleasured. Lead him into the bedroom, and push him on the bed. 

Before he even takes his clothes off, take all yours off and blindfold him with one of your pieces of clothing. Then take that time to give him the best blowjob he’s ever had. You are letting him just sit back and enjoy the ride while you do all the work.

Sometimes, knowing what makes a girl good in bed isn’t just about the things she does in bed, but her enthusiasm for sex and her interest in getting naughty with her man. So if you want to seduce a guy and leave him aroused 24/7, make sure you let him know you enjoy pleasuring and being pleasured by him. [Read: How to give good head – The biggest guide and 50+ blowjob secrets]

As long as you do that, any guy would feel like the luckiest guy in the world to date you or sleep with you!

[Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce any man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

And here you thought what makes a girl good in bed is one who does all these crazy things. But in reality, it’s about being genuine and enjoying the sexual experience with her man.

The post What Makes a Girl Good in Bed? 23 Sex Bomb Moves Guys Deeply Desire is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.