20 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You & Just Wants to Have Fun

So you like a guy, but he might not want anything serious. Learn the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you and avoid heartbreak.

When it comes to dating, it’s not easy. No one tells you how difficult it is to find someone who not only likes you but wants the same things as you.

The signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you will help you see the future of your relationship. Just because he likes you doesn’t mean he automatically wants a relationship.

He might just want something fun and casual to begin with, which is the opposite of what you want. But how can you really tell if he doesn’t care about having a relationship with you? Well, guys aren’t as complex as you might assume. [Read: 20 probable reasons why a guy may just not like you back]

Why do some guys not want anything serious?

It can be difficult to distinguish when guys want something serious versus when they want something casual. But why do many guys tend to stick to something casual?

When you commit to someone, you can’t go in halfway. You need to exert your time and energy into the relationship to make it work.

So, some guys shy away from anything serious when they’re just not ready for that kind of obligation, no matter the reason behind it. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship? How to deal with it]

How to see the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you

You aren’t expected to be a mind-reader, but it is a good idea to learn how to see the signs that the guy you’re seeing may not want anything serious.

Knowing the signs gives you a sense of what he’s looking for and helps neither of you to waste the other person’s time. [Read: 17 sordid signs you’re just a hookup and nothing more]

1. He’s mentioned he’s not looking for anything serious

If he’s told you that he’s not looking for anything serious, this isn’t him trying to trick you. If he’s said this, it’s because that’s what he’s looking for. Don’t interpret it as anything else.

If he’s mentioned more than once that a commitment isn’t what he’s after, then he means it. Don’t try to make it anything other than what it is. [Read: What does casual dating mean to a guy?]

2. You don’t feel comfortable around him

You already know he doesn’t want a relationship, you just don’t want to accept the truth. You wouldn’t be reading this feature if you were feeling completely comfortable and in love.

Before even getting to this feature, you already knew in your gut that he wants something casual. If you don’t feel like yourself around him, there’s usually a deeper reason why this is the case.

3. He doesn’t try to know you

It’s pretty evident that when a guy doesn’t bother to know you, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

It may sound silly, but when someone likes you, they want to know who you are. Why? Because if they’re thinking about a future with you, they want to know as much as they can.

If he tries his hardest to stick to light and easy topics, and he never reveals anything personal about himself, it’s because this is all just casual to him. [Read: Is he a player or a gentleman? Clear giveaways]

4. He doesn’t open up around you

When someone trusts and has feelings for you, they’re going to open up emotionally. Being vulnerable shows they’re comfortable around you and want the relationship to develop further.

This is connected to the previous point, so if he’s not willing to be vulnerable with you, even if it’s just a minor detail, it’s because he doesn’t want to commit.

He’s trying to put himself at an arm’s length away so things don’t get messy when he either ghosts you or leaves you. It’s all just a fling – at least for him. [Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 15 ways you can open up more]

5. He’s flaky

If a guy is serious about you, he’s not going to behave like this. If you value someone, you’re going to make them a priority.

But if he’s flaky, it’s one of the clearest signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. It shows that you can’t rely upon or trust him when push comes to shove. [Read: The troubling signs he’s losing interest in you and may walk away soon]

6. You don’t go on actual dates

If he isn’t interested in committing to you for the long-term, your “date nights” only look like Netflix and chill nights. Even if you’ve been seeing one another for a while, you never go on real dates.

The only thing he’s interested in is getting the physical aspect from you. When it comes to developing both mental and emotional intimacy, he either bails or deflects the conversation.

He only cares about the things he benefits from. This is one of the concrete signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. [Read: What does friends with benefits mean to a guy: Do guys get hooked?]

7. He doesn’t want to label the relationship

Well, this is a huge red flag. If he doesn’t want to label the relationship or call you his girlfriend, he’s not interested in being in a relationship with you. It is as simple as that.

For him, you’re just “having fun” or “taking things slow.” If he wanted you to be his girlfriend, he would make you his girlfriend. [Read: What are we? How to get your crush to label your relationship]

8. He disappears

You will talk for a couple of days then he disappears. He doesn’t answer your texts, or he’ll bail on your plans. And just when you’re sure he’s not coming around, he pops back up again. Remember what we said about being flaky?

If he wanted a relationship with you, he’d try his best to earn your trust and most especially, your heart. He knows exactly what he’s doing, so we assure you, he didn’t just “forget to call you.” [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 real reasons guys turn into cowardly pricks]

9. He doesn’t make time for you

If someone likes you, they’ll spend as much time with you as possible. But if you struggle to spend one day a week with him, that’s not a good sign.

When a guy does everything to spend even just a portion of his time with you, then he’s serious about you. If not, then it’s one of the obvious signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. [Read: The signs a guy is drifting away from you]

10. He doesn’t make future plans with you

Why else would a guy avoid talking about the future if not for wanting to stick to a casual relationship? He just wants to have fun and keep things light, so talking about the future isn’t interesting for him.

We’re not talking about the marriage kind of future, but this includes plans for the weekend or holiday plans.

If you don’t plan for the summer or talk about where you see yourselves in six months, he’s not into you, if he was, he’d be making plans with you.

11. You haven’t met his friends or family

If you just met him, we understand why you haven’t met his friends or family yet. It’s too soon for that. But if you’ve been dating for a couple of months, at the very least, you should have met a friend. If you haven’t met any of his loved ones, ask why that is.

It just means that he doesn’t want them to meet you because he knows you won’t be anything serious. It stings, we know, but it’s the brutal truth. [Read: 18 signs it’s time and ways to prepare your partner to meet the parents]

12. He only texts you

When it comes to communication, you don’t talk on the phone. The only way you communicate is through texting. You don’t even have one another’s socials.

If you’ve never had a phone call together and only stick to texting, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Even if you text, he takes forever to send a text back. Clearly, you’re not that important to him. [Read: He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you? Here’s how to deal with it]

13. You don’t trust him

Our gut instinct is a powerful thing, so don’t avoid listening to your gut. There’s something about him you don’t trust, and you can’t pinpoint what it is exactly.

Whether you’re together or apart, you always doubt his intentions. Unless you’ve always been insecure, the signs point directly to him wanting different things than you do. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship and move forward]

14. He talks a big game but doesn’t follow through

He’ll text you that he misses you but he won’t make time to see you. Of course, when he tells you these things, it feels nice, but what are his actions? Actions speak louder than words, so when finding out what his intentions are, observe his actions.

If he always manages to say sweet words to you but never matches it with his behavior and actions, that’s because he’s not that into you—end of story. [Read: Why men pull away – the reasons and what you can do]

15. You feel he’s not interested in a relationship

Deep down, you know what’s going on, but you just don’t want to accept the truth. Your gut instinct is telling you this guy doesn’t want the same as you do.

So, what are you waiting for? You’re just wasting your time and energy on a guy that’s just interested in having fun and keeping it casual, so better to move on and find someone better. [Read: Guys to stop dating if you want real love]

16. He never listens to you

If he doesn’t listen to any of your rants or stories, and his mind is obviously elsewhere, he’s not into you. The fact that he doesn’t even bother trying to listen is one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. [Read: Ways to be a better listener in your relationship]

17. He only meets up for sex

If a guy doesn’t want anything serious with you, he’ll stick to a no-strings-attached kind of relationship. He’ll only be interested in physical intimacy and nothing more.

Of course, if he already told you this from the start and you failed to listen, this is on you. But if not, then observe the frequency of when you meet up. If he only agrees to meet up to hook up, then there’s your answer. [Read: How to have a no strings attached relationship]

18. He’s always talking to other girls

This should be such an obvious indicator! If his phone is always filled with other girls texting him and calling him, it’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.

He’s clearly having fun dating around without the promise of commitment, and you’re just one of the girls he happened to come across.

19. There’s always an excuse

When you ask him when you’ll be together officially, there’s always an excuse.

If he’s ever used “what’s the rush?” or “we’re still getting to know each other” on you, they’re just some of the many excuses he has up his sleeve for every time you ask again. The point is, he’s always going to a line prepared.  [Read: Big telltale excuses that get you nowhere!]

20. He’s already let you down before

If a guy is really into you, he’ll do his best not to let you down, disappoint you, and most importantly, break your heart.

So if he’s already let you down multiple times before, that’s already a red flag he isn’t into you. Even if he does have feelings for you, they’re not strong enough to make him commit to just you. He’s too busy having fun to care about letting you down.

He’ll probably say sorry unapologetically *and keep repeating it*. So, stop letting him get away with this behavior by not giving him any more second chances. [Read: He won’t commit but he won’t let go. What should you do now?]

Are you seeing any of these signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you?

If you already feel in your gut that he doesn’t care about anything serious with you, why bother?

If a guy was into you, then you’d feel his intentions and feelings through his body language, actions, and behavior. If not, he’s not going to care if he keeps letting you down and ditching your plans unless it benefits him.

[Read: How to enjoy being single and lessons singledom can teach]

No one said love was easy, but that doesn’t mean you should tolerate someone who doesn’t treat you as you deserve. So here are the 20 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you – be wary!

The post 20 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship with You & Just Wants to Have Fun is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

When Does an Ex Start to Miss You & 8 Truths That Make Them Want You More

After the breakup, you might wonder, when does an ex start to miss you? But, there’s no specific timeframe, they just do.

While you are going through confusing post-breakup emotions, you may begin to wonder, when does an ex start to miss you? Is your ex thinking about you right now? Are they thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them?

Whether or not you want your ex back, it’s normal to want them to miss you.

No matter how long you’ve dated, you’ll still miss them and secretly hope they miss you too. Even if you ended on the worst of terms, there are always going to be things you miss about them.

However, our egos get in the way of a breakup, and often, we’ll never show we miss our ex. [Read: Reasons why the no contact rule always works]

Why do you wonder when an ex starts to miss you?

It is perfectly normal to wonder when an ex will start missing you. We all do it. It’s a natural part of getting over an ex. But, why do we do it? Maybe we just need the assurance that they miss the relationship as much as you do or that they’re also hurting.

There are plenty of reasons to ask ourselves when does an ex start to miss you, but are they good reasons?

Sure. As long as you don’t dwell too much on this, you’re fine. If this is something you think about in passing or find yourself wondering about, it’s no problem. [Read: How to look for subtle signs your ex misses you after the breakup]

But, if you are constantly struggling with this and find yourself stalking your ex online, checking to see if they’ve seen your posts, your reason may be unhealthy. No matter how much you wonder about whether or not they miss you, you won’t get them back.

The relationship ended for a reason. Even if they do miss you, it doesn’t mean you’ll reunite. You can wonder if they miss you, but giving them too much attention will only lead to a longer grieving process. [Read: Is my ex still thinking of me? Here’s how to read all the right signs]

Why do you miss an ex?

First things first, you’re only human so having emotions is part of that human experience. A romantic relationship is the most intimate relationship you can have in your life. When that relationship ends, it’s normal to miss them with an intensity that feels unbearable.

Missing them will hurt a lot because the relationship mattered to you, but now it’s over.

If you ever imagined a future with that person, it also means everything in that future is gone. Just like that, they’re back to being a stranger *with memories*.

The most common reason you miss them is that you wish things didn’t end between the two of you. You miss them because you wish that you could’ve fixed things for the relationship to work out. But life has different plans, and what we want is sometimes different from what we need. [Read: 30 steps to take to help you make it through a breakup]

When does an ex start to miss you?

All breakups are different, and at first, we tend to be angry or simply in shock. But, once we move to the next stage of grief, things change.

Even the worst relationships have their good times. Those memories stick with you. You miss their place in your life and that comfort or routine you had.

Some people have different timeframes for missing an ex. Some miss their ex immediately after the breakup, while others take weeks or months. Maybe they miss you when they come across the place you used to date or when they hold your belongings. [Read: How to get your ex-boyfriend back after a regretful parting]

There is a saying that every time you think about someone, they are thinking about you. That is not scientifically proven, but you can presume that your relationship mattered to both of you and that when you miss your ex, they miss you too.

They might not show the signs evidently, but their feelings of missing you are lurking beneath. [Read: 16 clear signs your ex wants you back and can’t stop thinking of you]

Does it matter when an ex starts to miss you?

Honestly, does it really matter? With this knowledge, are you going to reach out to them?

Missing each other is just a step in the process of a breakup. It doesn’t really change anything. It’s really just a boost of ego when they end up missing you.

It’s an assurance that you’re not alone in your vulnerability and that you feel the same way as they do. Maybe it isn’t the most progressive and mature feeling in the world, but we all have our moments of weakness. And it doesn’t have to be more complicated than that.

Missing an ex and having an ex miss you is just that. Missing someone doesn’t mean you want to or should see each other. You can miss someone without wanting them back, especially if you know exactly why things had to end.

It feeds your ego but is nothing but a surface level of instant gratification. In the long run, it doesn’t mean much. [Read: 16 subtle signs your ex wants you back but won’t admit it]

Factors that make them start to miss you

There are several factors to consider when trying to decide when does an ex start to miss you. If you’ve ever wondered what triggers your ex to miss you more than usual, here are eight things you should take note of. [Read: How to help your ex move on and get over you for good] 

1. When you give them space

You know what they say, right? Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

So, if you desperately want your ex to miss you badly, then give them space. Don’t keep chasing them around – how will they miss you when you keep smothering them with your attention and presence?

There’s a reason why the no-contact rule is so popular when trying to get your ex back or making them miss you. When you cut off all communication and give them space, they start missing you.

When silence isn’t what they expect from you, they’ll begin to wonder where you went and what’s going on. [Read: The no contact rule – a powerful gamble to get your ex to desire you]

2. When you work on yourself

When your ex sees that you’re so much better than you ever were when you were with them, this causes a shift in their emotions. Maybe you’ve been working out more, or you’ve been succeeding in your career. When they see that you’re in a much better place than they are, they start to miss you.

They might even regret breaking up with you if it was them that did the dumping. It’s the primary reason why they say success and happiness are the best revenge for any breakup. [Read: How to improve yourself – 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

3. When they see you going on adventures

Social media is the best place to be when you’re trying to get them to miss you. So if you’re wondering when does an ex start to miss you, it’s when they see you’re trying all kinds of different things.

Maybe you took a painting class, traveled on different plane trips, went on road trips with your friends, and tried all sorts of hobbies.

When they see you having fun, they can’t help but miss you in the process. You might not be following them anymore, but that doesn’t mean they won’t subtly lurk on your socials.

4. When they see you going on dates

This should be an obvious one, but going on dates means you’re ready to move on from them. So if they see you dating or having fun on dating apps, they begin to miss you.

Really, all the factors in this list are triggered by ego. An ex hates it when you’re doing so much better than them because it implies you’re “winning the breakup.”

So even if you’re not dating seriously, dating still means you’re having fun in your own way, and they don’t like that idea. Jealousy and envy are both powerful emotions, after all. [Read: How to start dating again – steps to get back in the game]

5. When you’re not feeling sorry for yourself

There are two kinds of people in a breakup: one who feels sorry for themselves and drowns in self-pity, and one who tries their best to move forward. It doesn’t make you heartless just because you’re the latter, it makes you strong and resilient.

If they see you’re not posting sad quotes on Facebook or tweeting about the breakup, they’ll begin to miss you.

This is because they’ll wonder why you’re not as devastated and broken about the breakup, especially when it was them that broke up with you.

So if you’re wondering when does an ex start to miss you, it’s when you take charge of your life and try your best to move forward. [Read: How to stop feeling sorry for yourself & end the pity party]

6. When you don’t remain friends

Unless you were already friends before the relationship, there’s no way you can or should remain friends with your ex. They may start to miss you romantically if you decline to stay friends with them.

One of the most common reasons they would want to stay friends with you is to benefit from a relationship with you minus the commitment. Basically, they don’t want you to move on to other people just yet. [Read: Reasons why your ex might want to be friends with you]

7. When they’re emotionally low

When your ex isn’t at a good place in their life, it makes them miss you more than usual. It can hit home for them, especially when you’re thriving and they’re not doing so well.

Since they’re used to having you as their safe space and comfort, they miss you during their darkest moments.

This is why you might get drunk calls, texts, or even booty calls from your ex during unusual hours. But in reality, they just miss venting to you and talking to you about their problems.

8. When they’re hanging at your favorite spots

Is there a place you used to go to together all the time? Maybe it’s that coffee shop by the corner or the bookstore you met at. When they pass by those places where you created even the simplest of memories, they can’t help but miss you.

If you’re wondering when does an ex start to miss you, it’s when they hang out at all the places you had memories in. Even if you just went there once, it’s enough to tug at their heartstrings and make them miss you a lot. [Read: Does my ex miss me? 23 signs your ex is clearly not over you yet]

Does your ex miss you?

Look back at your relationship and remind yourself why things ended in the first place. Think about how much better off you are now.

You can appreciate the good times and even miss certain moments or things about your ex. You can expect them to miss you too, but do not dwell on this.

The thing is, they can’t help but miss you with these factors mentioned above, but that doesn’t mean you should get back together with them. They’re an ex for a reason, and it’s much better if they stay that way.

[Read: Things to keep in mind when you bump into your ex]

If you really want to know when does an ex start to miss you, it all depends on the person. Sometimes they miss you when it’s a little too late and sometimes, they miss you when a memory crosses their mind.

The post When Does an Ex Start to Miss You & 8 Truths That Make Them Want You More is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Are You a Girl-Closer or a Wheel Spinner?

Some guys are closers: they will bed a girl even if it gets a little tough. Many men are wheel spinners: when the going gets tough, they give up. But why?

A short while back I wrote an article where I discussed a forum member who managed to sleep with a girl who was in a new league of beauty for him, but only after overcoming five hours of last-minute resistance.

One reader commented that this was not worth the effort, and not what a self-respecting man with abundant options with women would do. Instead, such a man would simply leave and pick another girl up.

This mentality sounds like it’d be correct, at least in theory. Doesn’t it? After all, we talk about things like outcome independence, willingness to walk away, being the prize, and so on. If it’s too difficult, you should just go find another girl just like her it’s not that difficult with – right?

But real world practice is much different from theory, and things that sound reasonable on paper very quickly become unreasonable in practice.

In practice, you learn that if you want success with women, you must be able to close the girls you’ve got, rather than giving up just before the goal and going out to start the whole process over again seeking out some other girl.

The guys who give up when the going gets tough aren’t the successes.

Instead, these are the guys who end up spinning their wheels more than anybody else.

Nevertheless, there is a reason the men who spin their wheels a lot do so, too – and we’ll talk about that today as well.

Empathic Narcissist: What It Means, 15 Unique Traits & How to Cope with Them

Most people think that a narcissist is not capable of feeling or showing empathy. But have you heard of an empathic narcissist? They really do exist.

Empaths are good people and narcissists are bad people. Is that something you agree with? Well, enter the empathic narcissist, to completely destroy everything you think you know.

Total contradiction, but it’s something that actually does exist.

Are narcissists bad?

We demonize narcissists in this day and age, simply because we hear so much about them in a negative voice. 

It’s vital to point out that a real narcissist, one who actually has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, is someone with a real condition. That means that their narcissism is something they are unable to avoid without help.

However, those suffering from genuine NPD are few and far between. The other narcissists are just, well, cold and uncaring. [Read: How to start a new life and move on from the toxicity for good]

That might be unfair. If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist or been close to one, you’ll understand why most people agree that narcissists aren’t the greatest people to have in your life.

Simply a good versus bad situation?

The black-and-white description above is something a lot of people subscribe to. But we have to delve a little deeper than that. 

Surely not every narcissist on the planet is bad – it’s actually a personality disorder. You can’t label someone bad when they have a condition they can’t control, after all. [Read: Gray rock method – what it is, 23 secrets, and how to use it on a narcissist]

Similarly, just because someone has the ability to feel the emotions of someone else, it doesn’t automatically make them an earth angel, someone capable of healing and the like.

We’ve been hardwired into believing a good versus bad argument when it comes to empaths and narcissists. 

While being around a narcissist is definitely not a picnic, there is a grey area we all need to learn more about. [Read: How to set boundaries with a narcissist and weaken their hold over you]

The personality point 

You see, personalities are never cut and dried and can rarely be put into strict categories. 

Just because someone is empathic, i.e. they are quite sensitive and take on the emotions of other people as their own, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t capable of narcissistic behavior on occasion.

On the flip side, there are several different types of narcissists. We’re led to believe that narcissists are loud, proud, and strong. [Read: Narcissistic relationship – 36 signs, how it feels, patterns, and how to end it]

But there are many introverted and even shy narcissists out there. As you can see, personalities are difficult things to put into boxes.

So, what is an empathic narcissist?

An empathic narcissist identifies with both sides of the argument. They mostly believe that they’re a victim – a victim of feeling the emotions of other people. 

And they view it as a very negative thing in their lives. But they don’t show much in the way of sympathy or caring for the people around them. They are centered on themselves and the pain they feel. [Read: How to handle a relationship as an empath]

This isn’t all empaths at all. A genuine empath, an empathic empath is someone with a great sense of empathy and who really cares. 

This type of empath is open to feeling emotion. They’ve learned how to deal with it and manage it for themselves.

An empathic narcissist is therefore someone who doesn’t appreciate their empathic skills. They’re someone who actually resents them and doesn’t want to be open to emotions. [Read: Covert narcissist – what it is, 42 signs, and how to see the games they play]

This type of empath refuses to feel vulnerable emotionally and puts up a wall. As a result, they show very little in the way of caring for others and certainly no empathy toward others.

Confusing, right?

It’s best if we highlight a few traits you might notice in someone who is actually an empathic narcissist.

Common traits of an empathic narcissist 

It’s important to point out that every single person is different. [Read: Can a narcissist change? Why it’s hard and subtle signs they’ll change for you]

Don’t take the points below as a tick list and use them to diagnose whether someone is indeed an empathic narcissist or not. What you should do is use these signs as a guide and to inform your judgment.

We all display certain personality traits on occasion which aren’t really in keeping with our character. It doesn’t mean we have suddenly shifted to another type. Personality traits are fluid!

However, with that in mind, an empathic narcissist will usually show the following signs on a regular basis. [Read: 29 subtle signs to spot a narcissist and read NPD in a relationship]

1. A generally negative outlook

A narcissistic empath believes the world owes them a favor because of all of the feeling they have to do. This means their outlook is quite negative in general.

They’re more likely to err on the side of darkness in their thoughts than light. 

For instance, you might say “the weather is so nice today,” but they would turn that thought into “I’m so sick of it being hot.” [Read: How to deal with the Negative Nancy in your life]

2. Jumping from emotional lows to acting above others

Narcissistic empaths really don’t have their empathy in check. That means they can easily jump between feeling upset and hurt, acting the victim, to playing the role of being above everyone else. 

This victim and superior figure routine can be extremely exhausting for those around them.

3. An inability to handle criticism

A narcissist isn’t able to handle criticism, whether real or imagined, and neither is an empathic narcissist. They will quickly become down, upset, or annoyed by the slightest critical comment. [Read: Narcissistic supply – how to control a narcissist and cut their power]

4. The blame game

In the mind of an empathic narcissist, they are the victim. They have been handed an unfair deal by having to feel the emotions of others. 

As a result, they find it difficult to take responsibility for anything they say and do. Instead, they always blame the unfairness of life for whatever they do or don’t do.

5. Becoming engrossed in their own feelings

An empathic narcissist can become so bogged down with their own problems and emotions that they cannot see anyone else’s. [Read: How to spot manipulative people and stop playing the victim]

That’s quite ironic when you consider they feel the emotions of others. The lack of care towards other people, even when they’re aware of their emotions, is what makes them stand apart.

6. Playing the victim to control others

That victim mindset can be used to the advantage of an empathic narcissist. They use it to control other people, and manipulate them into doing things they may not want to or to stay in a situation they’re unhappy with.

7. “No one understands me” 

The empathic narcissist genuinely believes that their problems are more important and special than anyone else’s. [Read: Narcissist and empath – whey they’re a match made in dating hell]

Theirs should be dealt with first. They also believe that nobody could possibly understand their empathic problems because they are so unique.

8. Feeling under attack

An empathic narcissist doesn’t view their empathic gift as something special, they see it as a curse. 

They feel constantly under attack by the emotions of other people, the energies around them, and even nature. This leads to more victim-playing. [Read: Narcissistic rage – how to handle the angry backlash of a narcissist]

9. Feeling special and superior

The inherent definition of a narcissist is that they think they are better than everyone else and that the world revolves around them. They think they should be treated special and people should kiss their feet.

An empathic narcissist believes this even more so because they’re ‘bestowed’ with this ‘incredible gift’ of feeling other people’s emotions… while simultaneously not caring about them!

10. Passive-aggressive

Along with playing the victim, they are also passive-aggressive.

For example, they might avoid responsibility for tasks, procrastinate, miss deadlines, withhold information, or purposely underachieve even though they shouldn’t.

11. Self-martyrdom

They also pretend to be a martyr – someone who sacrifices something of great value for the sake of principle. But what they’re actually sacrificing, we’re not sure.

They choose this “suffering” in order to elicit sympathy, love, and admiration. It is also meant to evoke guilt. [Read: Martyr complex – what it is, 20 signs of martyrdom syndrome, and ways to fix it]

How to cope with an empathic narcissist 

If you feel like you have an empathic narcissist in your life, it might be difficult to deal with them. But there are some coping mechanisms you can try in order to make your life a little easier:

1. Practice objective communication

Many narcissists like to gaslight their victims. In other words, they try to make them question reality or their own sanity. They do this to have power over them and use them to their advantage.

But you have to prevent them from doing things like this to you. Instead, be objective in your communication.

Don’t allow them to weave their web of lies into a fantasy world that they expect you to believe in. Call them out. [Read: How to communicate better in a relationship and fix a lack of it]

2. Know what battles to pick

Everyone has battles with other people every day – it’s just human nature and inevitable. But if you try to fight every single battle that comes your way, it will become exhausting.

So, that’s why you need to learn to become a good judge of when you should and shouldn’t start a confrontation with an empathic narcissist. Sometimes it is helpful, but other times it might just backfire. And that won’t work to your advantage.

3. Allocate your “me-time” every day

When you are around an empathic narcissist, they can act as an energy vampire. They suck the life and positivity out of you quite often. And that is overly draining. [Read: Alone time – why you need it, how it helps, and how to make the most of it]

So, that’s why you have to get away from them as much as you can. Make sure you have some “me-time” as often as you can. It doesn’t matter if it’s a bubble bath or a walk around the neighborhood. Just get away when you can.

4. Seek professional help

Dealing with an empathetic narcissist is not an easy thing to do. If you feel like you have tried everything you can but you are still struggling, then you might want to consider seeking professional help if you can afford it.

A therapist or psychologist will listen to your problems and suggest solutions you can try.

If you are married or in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, you might want to try to get them to go to therapy with you, although they might resist. [Read: Relationship therapy – 25 clues to know if it’ll help your romance]

Final thoughts

These are some of the most common traits you will see in an empathic narcissist. Perhaps the most important is the fact that they simply don’t exhibit the same empathy towards other people that an empathic empath does. 

This type of empath cares about others. They might not appreciate being bombarded with overloading emotions, but they care regardless. [Read: Narcissistic sociopath – how they think, 31 signs, and ways to deal with them]

A narcissistic empath on the other hand feels burdened and doesn’t care about what they’re noticing about another person. 

In fact, they don’t really notice it, they simply see it as a distraction they’d rather brush off.

[Read: How to stop being a doormat and gain control of your life again]

A lack of empathy isn’t something you would normally associate with the empath phrase, but an empathic narcissist is quite a special breed. Now that you know how to spot an empathic narcissist and how to deal with one, good luck!

The post Empathic Narcissist: What It Means, 15 Unique Traits & How to Cope with Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Heteroflexible: What It Is, Why It Isn’t Bisexual & the Truth about Attraction

Discovering your sexuality can be overwhelming. Maybe the more prominent labels don’t fit you. Consider learning about what it means to be heteroflexible!

Until fairly recently, American culture really only recognized two sexualities – straight and gay. Now that we’re progressing a little and recognizing that not everything is black and white, more sexual identifications are coming out *pun intended* to the table. Most of us are familiar with the more prominent ones, but what about the ones that aren’t mentioned as often? What about being heteroflexible?

What is heteroflexible?

Many people closely relate heteroflexible people with bisexuals, meaning that they have a romantic and attractive desire for both genders. [Read: Dating a bisexual person – things you should never say]

In fact, heteroflexible is a subcategory of bisexuality.

The difference between heteroflexible and bisexual people is that a heteroflexible person identifies more with being straight. They might have same-sex desires, but they’re primarily interested in the opposite gender. Heteroflexibility is often described as “mostly straight.”

The history of heteroflexibility

Heteroflexible is a fairly new identification that’s said to originate from college slang in the early twenty-first century. [Read: List of sexualities – 15 gender orientations you need to know about]

Two different New York publications used the term in 2002, both in reference to college campuses.

While the word is a little newer, the act of being mostly straight is definitely not. “Gay” and “straight” have never been enough to capture the existing array of sexualities.

In fact, when Alfred Kinsey developed the Kinsey Scale in 1948 to better reflect the ranges between heterosexuality and homosexuality, he put a significant amount of focus on other possibilities.

The scale goes from zero, depicting exclusive heterosexuality, to six, depicting exclusive homosexuality. That leaves a fair amount of wiggle room for numbers one through five!

In a 2016 survey completed by millennial-aged participants, sixteen percent rated themselves either a one or a two on the Kinsey Scale, indicating potential heteroflexibility.

The same survey completed among Gen Z participants shows that twenty-one percent selected ratings that indicate heteroflexibility. [Read: Coming out of the closet – what it means & 31 steps to help others accept you]

Heteroflexibility vs. bisexuality

Simply put, being bisexual means that you’re pretty equally attracted to both men and women. While being heteroflexible does mean that you’re attracted to both men and women, it has a little extra flair that bisexuality doesn’t.

If you’re heteroflexible, you do find yourself to be attracted to both genders, but you definitely have a noticeable preference for the opposite gender.

Both words can absolutely relate to similar experiences, and some even use them interchangeably. It isn’t uncommon for a person to identify as both any more than it is for a person to be distinctly drawn to one label over the other. [Read: Biromantic – what it means & how to tell the difference between biromantic and bisexual]

How to know if you’re heteroflexible

There isn’t a standardized quiz that you can take to determine whether you are or aren’t heteroflexible. Such is life. It might feel even more confusing because the term doesn’t necessarily have a strict and rigid definition.

However, there are a few indicators that you more strongly identify with being heteroflexible than any other sexuality.

Maybe you feel pretty straight but find yourself being attracted to the same gender on occasion. Perhaps you find yourself curious about playing around and experimenting with someone of the same sex.

Those feelings are perfectly okay and normal! That’s why this is the “mostly straight” sexual orientation. [Read: Romantic orientation – the most common ones all of us must know]

It’s even possible that you’ve already had some sexual experiences with someone of your same gender. Did you enjoy it? Would you do it again? If it isn’t something that you would rule out, but you also feel like it’s something you could take or leave, this might be the perfect label for you.

Let’s say that you know without a doubt that you’re not completely straight, but you don’t necessarily feel entirely bisexual, either.

You know that you feel attracted to the same sex from time to time, but you also know that you have a much stronger preference for the opposite gender.

Referring to yourself as straight doesn’t feel right. Calling yourself bisexual doesn’t seem comfortable. Heteroflexibility might just fit you like a glove.

Everything you should know about heteroflexible people

There is much to be learned about this mysterious sexuality. People are still trying to understand what it really means. Are they straight, bisexual, or gay? If you really want to know about this unique sexual orientation, read on! [Read: Are you a try-sexual? Find out now!]

Misconceptions

When someone identifies as heteroflexible, people who don’t understand this sexuality might be uncomfortable and form their own opinions that are often incorrect. Here are the most common misconceptions about heteroflexible people:

1. They’re straight, but they’re going through a phase

Many people immediately dismiss heteroflexibility as being a “phase” that the person is going through when they find out that someone they know is heteroflexible. They say that they’re just experimenting but are ultimately straight.

This misconception doesn’t consider the fact that people who identify as heteroflexible don’t really have a choice in the matter. Even if they ultimately end up with someone of the opposite gender, it doesn’t mean that they’re technically straight. [Read: Infatuation vs. love – ways to tell the difference]

2. They’re bisexual, but they don’t want to admit it

Of course, people often confuse heteroflexible and bisexual. They think that anyone who identifies as heteroflexible is just bisexual, but they don’t want to admit to that sexuality.

This is false. While heteroflexibility and bisexuality do share some similarities, they aren’t the same thing. Bisexual means that you’re attracted relatively equally to both genders.

Heteroflexible, however, means that you’re more strongly attracted to the opposite sex, but you’re occasionally drawn to your same gender.

3. They just want the attention

The biggest misconception about this sexuality involves a desire for attention. People think that if someone is saying that they’re heteroflexible, they just want to get attention from certain people.

Sure, people do crazy things to get attention all the time. However, being truly heteroflexible is NOT just wanting attention. It’s important to not invalidate people and their sexual orientations. [Read: 20 sexually enlightening movies all about sexuality]

Truths

Misconceptions get a little out of hand when certain people don’t really understand what being heteroflexible is all about.

But it’s important to spread the truth out so that people who identify as heteroflexible don’t face stigma as a result of misconceptions. Here are just some facts about heteroflexible people:

1. They’re not straight

Heteroflexible people tend to be more attracted to the opposite sex, just like heterosexuals, but they’re not completely straight. Because they do have a slight attraction to the opposite sex, even if only occasionally, it means that they can’t identify as completely straight. [Read: How to tell if someone is gay – subtle clues that make it likely]

They may only date and choose to romantically be with the opposite gender, but they’re still heteroflexible.

If they experience an attraction to their own sex, even if they don’t act on it, they’re heteroflexible. Even though “hetero” is in the name of this sexuality, hetero they are not.

2. They’re not completely bisexual, either

The line between heteroflexible and bisexual remains very blurry. While heteroflexibility may be a category under bisexuality, they’re certainly not the same thing.

Those who are heteroflexible prefer the opposite sex over their own gender, whereas bisexual people experience equal pleasure with either gender. Therefore, while others may mistakenly categorize them as bisexual, they aren’t. [Read: Sure ways to tell if you’re really bi-curious]

3. They have a hard time explaining their feelings to their significant others

Can you imagine trying to explain to your straight partner you are, in fact, into them but are also attracted to individuals of your own gender? It’s likely not exactly easy.

It’s often difficult to help someone who doesn’t feel the same way to understand those types of feelings. It can even cause backlash and wind up ruining a relationship if the other person refuses to accept it.

4. They can be confused about their own feelings

Some heteroflexible people have a hard time understanding how they even feel.

One moment, they experience intense feelings for their opposite-sex partner. The next moment, they feel like they want to experiment with their own gender sometimes.

Just because they feel this way doesn’t mean that they completely understand it. It’s especially difficult if you’ve identified yourself as straight for your whole life and are just now realizing that it might not be the case.

5. It’s difficult finding anyone at all who understands their feelings

Ruined relationships sometimes occur between a straight partner and a heteroflexible partner because they just don’t and can’t understand their way of life.

It’s hard for people who are heteroflexible to find someone who not only accepts them but can also really understand the way they feel. [Read: 15 rules to be a good partner in a relationship]

Hardships

As you can imagine, society perceives people who don’t identify as straight in certain ways, most of which are negative. That being said, there are downsides to being heteroflexible in a society that frequently shuns this way of living.

1. People don’t take them seriously

People often roll their eyes at those who announce that they’re heteroflexible because they consider that person to be someone who just can’t pick a sexuality, and they don’t take it seriously.

While heteroflexibility is certainly a sexual orientation, other people can have a hard time accepting this.

2. Finding a partner who’s okay with this lifestyle can be hard

Yes, some people accept the ones they love in their entirety, and that’s awesome! But there are also people who refuse to accept someone who identifies as heteroflexible based on their own beliefs.

It takes a long time to open up to your partner if you’re unsure of how they might take the news, which also means you can’t really be yourself around them. You’re always holding back, unable to give them all of yourself. [Read: Self-reflective questions to help stay true to yourself]

3. It’s confusing to be heteroflexible if you don’t know you are

If you’re someone who has always been straight but has also been semi-curious about your own gender, it can be really confusing. It makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you.

In reality, you’re probably just heteroflexible, and there’s nothing wrong with that!

There are probably TONS of people out there with no idea that heteroflexibility exists and might suit them, but they continue to live their lives in mild confusion. They never quite know where they belong in this confusing world. [Confession: My first heteroflexible, accidental threesome experience]

How can I be an ally to someone who identifies as heteroflexible?

Be an ally to a heteroflexible person the same way that you’re an ally to any other person who’s part of the LGBTQ+.

The most important thing is respect. Respect how they identify and choose to label their sexuality. Provide a safe and open ear free of judgment for times when they might need to talk through their problems. It’s important that you’re willing to listen and talk.

Confronting negative bias is another big one. Defend your friends and anyone else who might identify within the LGBTQ+ community. Don’t tolerate comments or jokes about them, and let others know that you find them offensive.

Stand up for them because they are a PERSON. Regardless of race, sexuality, or gender, every human being deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.

Just be an active and open-minded friend. [Read: How to be a good friend – 49 traits & friend codes that define a real pal]

How can I know if a heteroflexible person is into me?

Ask! The same rules that apply to every sexual orientation apply in this situation, too.

A heteroflexible person isn’t likely to display their signs of affection any differently than anyone else. If you feel like they’re flirting with you, they probably are! If you’re into it, flirt back a little and see where it goes.

Being heteroflexible comes with some struggles. Whether you’re heteroflexible or know someone who is, we hope that this feature taught you a little more about this sexual orientation and how to support it.

The post Heteroflexible: What It Is, Why It Isn’t Bisexual & the Truth about Attraction is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Serial Cheater: 43 Signs & Traits, Why They Cheat So Often & What to Do Next

It’s easy to say that serial cheaters can’t help themselves, but of course, they can! Perhaps it’s the thrill and the drama they enjoy while wreaking havoc. 

We can all agree that nobody wants to get cheated on in a relationship. It’s unpleasantly dramatic, it hurts, it breaks trust, and of course, it ends relationships. And if by chance you find out that the person you’ve been seeing is a serial cheat, that should be an instant red flag for you to keep away.

The serial cheater introduces a whole new level to infidelity. Because while cheating once is bad enough, cheating on someone in numbers that they can’t get away from is despicable.

But the question here is, why? Why do serial cheaters do what they do? What are their reasons and motivations? [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The painful types and ways to set boundaries]

What is a serial cheat?

Serial cheats are people who have a penchant for infidelity. They enter relationships but don’t really care for the basic fidelity rule.

Serial cheaters cheat multiple times within a relationship and have previous relationships that ended due to their constant unfaithfulness.

In this case, “once a cheat, always a cheat” is very true. [Read: Fool me once, shame on you – How to not be fooled again]

Key serial cheater signs – How to know if you’re in a relationship with one

Unless you’ve talked about being in an open relationship, most people will not be down with the idea of their partner sleeping with other people behind their back.

If you’ve gotten yourself into a relationship with a Casanova-type character, not only should you get an STI test, but you should also get yourself out of that relationship.

But how do you even know you’re dating a serial cheater?

There are always signs. And once you know the serial cheater signs, it’ll be easy to spot them. [Read: To cheat or not to cheat – A guide to make up your mind]

1. They’ve cheated on you before

Okay, just because someone cheats it doesn’t mean they’ll do it again. However, it does increase the odds.

You need to do some digging and find out how many relationships your partner’s been in and why they didn’t work out. That’s how you’ll find the truth. 

If they have a pattern of regularly cheating on partners, well, you have yourself a serial cheater. And it’s unlikely that they’ll change their ways for you. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner in the act]

2. They fear or shy away from intimacy 

Maybe when you two have sex, they only like doggy style. Now, that’s not a bad thing, but it is when you want to have an intimate experience.

If they’re avoiding intimate sexual positions and moments with you, it’s because they’re scared of opening up and becoming vulnerable to you.

This also means that they’ll develop feelings and they don’t want that. After all, that kind of creates a hole in their plan of cheating with whoever they want. [Read: Being sneaky in a relationship – Is it really such a bad thing?]

3. They have many friends of the opposite sex

You can have many friends of the opposite sex and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re sleeping with them. 

But, if your partner is hanging out mostly with people of the opposite sex, well, there’s usually a reason. It might be totally innocent but if you notice this sign along with others, then you might want to turn on your wariness radar to watch out for a serial cheater. 

4. They haven’t committed to you 

If you two have been “together” for a while but they’re not willing to commit, it’s because they don’t want to. It’s really that simple. They don’t want to be taken off the market because they’re still looking around. 

Now, if you’re happy with that because you don’t want to be tied down either, go for it. But, if you want more, then you’re probably looking in the wrong place. [Read: Talking vs Dating – How to tell them apart and know your exact status]

5. You don’t really know much about them 

It’s like you know them but you don’t really know them. You two haven’t actually had a deep conversation about anything. 

Maybe you mentioned your traumatizing childhood, but your partner hasn’t whispered a word. That’s because they’re holding large portions of their life and experiences back. 

Serial cheaters don’t want to share because they’re not being true to you. You can’t fully open up to someone when you’re hiding things, can you?

6. They like taking risks

A serial cheater loves to take risks. 

We mean, isn’t cheating behind your partner’s back a risk? Of course, it is. Taking risks is thrilling, it’s living on the edge.

So, if your partner is known as a bit of an adrenaline junkie, then be cautious. [Read: 20 veiled signs your boyfriend is cheating already]

Of course, just because your partner has shown an interest in skydiving at some point, perhaps on their bucket list, doesn’t mean they’re about to cheat, or have done.

But if risky behavior and a lack of following rules are in their blood, you might want to keep an eye on that. 

7. You don’t have fights

No one likes to fight, but it’s actually crucial in a relationship. People disagree, and that’s totally normal. When you fight, it brings the relationship closer together. If you and your partner aren’t fighting, or if they’re not responding to your concerns, it shows that they don’t actually care.

We fight because we feel passionate about something. We care about something and we want to make things better, usually the relationship. 

If there’s no fighting, that doesn’t mean it’s all harmonious, it means there isn’t much emotion there. Of course, you shouldn’t be at each others’ throats 24/7 either, but occasional arguments are very normal. [Read: Why fighting in a relationship is important and how to do it right]

8. Their habits change 

If all of a sudden their regular daily habits and routines change, you should be suspicious. If you’re not sure about any of the other signs on this list, pay attention to this one.

People’s actions always expose the truth. And though they may be hiding what they’re doing to you, you’ll be able to notice what they’ve stopped doing. 

Human beings are creatures of habit and nobody is so spontaneous that they do something totally different every single day, or stop doing the things they have always done all of a sudden. At least, not without reason. [Read: How to get over someone cheating on you and repair the damage]

9. Your sex life isn’t what it used to be

The sex you used to have with your partner was sensual, hot, and passionate. Now, it’s dry and dull. What a switch, right? 

Well, that’s not because they’ve lost their libido. It’s because they’re being hot and sensual with someone else. Things like this just don’t switch without reason.

But, don’t panic if this is the only reason you can agree with. It’s normal for sex to become boring or a bit samey when you’ve been with someone for a long time.

It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a serial cheater or that they’re getting it from someone else. It could be that they’re tired or stressed out with work. [Read: How to spice up your sex life in 30 super sexy ways]

10. It’s all about gift-giving

Getting a surprise gift every now and then is great. However, those gifts can be given just to mask what they’ve been doing behind your back. 

If your partner is loading you up with gifts all the time, it’s probably because they’re feeling guilty. [Read: Emotional cheating and the bad things it can do to you]

11. Their apologies lack real meaning 

If you catch them cheating on you, they’ll most likely apologize. 

However, apologizing is easy. What’s hard is making it genuine. You need to look at the substance within the apology. 

Did your partner just say, “sorry” and walk away? Yeah, they don’t care. Or, did they just say that it didn’t mean anything and refuse to meet your eye at the time of saying it? 

You can easily figure out whether someone’s apology is genuine or not by watching their body language – it never lies. [Read: 28 heartfelt ways to say you’re sorry and apologize to someone you love]

12. “Work” becomes a priority 

Ah yes, the classic “I have to stay at the office a little longer tonight” routine. Please, do not fall for this shit. Okay, there are some people that do actually have to stay at the office longer than expected, but for many people, it’s an excuse. 

If all of a sudden their job replaces you, well, it’s probably not work that they’re doing. [Confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel a lot better!]

13. They love the chase

Do you remember what it was like before you were dating? 

The cat and mouse game that you both played? Maybe you played a hard game and your partner loved it. But now that they have you, it’s a different story. 

Some people are totally addicted to the thrill of the chase. When a relationship settles down, that first flourish of excitement abates.

Most of us don’t mind because it’s replaced by something else, something much better. But, for those who are addicted to the first chase, it’s simply not enough. [Read: Why are men so addicted to the high of a chase?]

14. Their long-term relationship history doesn’t exist

They may have dated a couple of people, but other than that, nothing. Not a single committed relationship that’s lasted longer than three months.

Now, if you’re nineteen, that’s not a big deal but if you’re in your late thirties, that’s a warning sign – a big one. Maybe they’re not serial cheaters, but it could mean they have commitment issues. [Read: Getting back with a cheater – Is that even possible?]

15. They accuse you of cheating

If you have done nothing to make them think that you’re cheating, they’re doing this to deflect the issue back on you. It’s classic defensiveness and it’s a HUGE red flag.

A serial cheater will be as calm as anything when confronted because they’re so used to it. But rather than smother you with niceness, they’ll turn it around and try to make you feel bad instead. They’re gaslighting you!

16. They’re preoccupied with their appearance

While everyone wants to look good, there is a line that most people don’t generally cross.

There’s nothing wrong with looking after yourself and choosing a nice outfit, but if your partner is obsessed with how they look, they either have issues or they want to look their best for the other person. [Read: How to look fabulous and appealing when trying to get attention]

17. They flirt often

They can’t help themselves. When they talk to another person, their flirty nature comes out. It’s almost like it’s an ingrained part of their personality but in truth, it’s because they’ve got so used to doing it.

If a person can’t help but flirt, you have to ask yourself what they do when you’re not around.

18. Your friends and family raise concerns

Sometimes it’s hard to see what’s right in front of you, especially if there are feelings are involved. So, if your friends and family raise concerns about your partner and their possible cheating ways, don’t dismiss them.

While it’s possible they’ve made a mistake, they’re more likely to have carefully watched your partner and arrived at this conclusion for a reason. [Read: Help! My friends don’t like my boyfriend]

19. An ex has warned you

Be careful with this one, but don’t push it aside completely. If your ex is keen to get you back, for sure they might jump on the slightest thing your current partner does. But if they’re actually more of a friend these days, listen to them.

It’s possible they’ve seen your partner doing something they shouldn’t, or they’ve heard something you wouldn’t be privy to.

20. They downplay cheating

They try to make out that cheating isn’t a big deal. They’ll also have a pretty fluid idea of what cheating is, so they can bend the rules to suit whatever they feel like doing.

However, if you turn the tables and see how they feel about being cheated on, rather than cheating on someone, you’ll hear a different story! [Read: 20 signs he wants to cheat with you]

Serial cheater traits

Generally speaking, a serial cheater has a set of traits that makes them almost predisposed to this type of behavior. It’s these traits that make it entirely possible for them to cheat time and time again, probably while avoiding any guilt.

They include:

1. Narcissism

2. Vanity

3. Sociopathy [Read: Am I dating a sociopath? 26 warning signs, effects, and ways to get over it]

4. Low self-esteem

5. Severe trauma

6. Flaky and inconsistent behavior

7. Poor impulse control

Just showing one or two of these traits doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is going to cheat on you, but a few ticked off the list does increase the likelihood of serial cheating. [Read: What causes narcissism? the facts and theories to read a narcissist]

Why do serial cheaters cheat?

If you think about it, cheating is actually bad for the cheater in many ways, yet they still do it. So what drives them to keep taking that risk?

1. Because they can

Commonly, serial cheaters do what they do because they can and they don’t care. Some serial cheaters are people who are too good–looking, too rich, and too confident to worry about their current partner’s feelings.

And given their advantageous situation, they are confident that hook-ups will come their way regardless of how they screw up their past and current relationships.

With this mentality, they keep cheating, even if their current relationship ends badly. Why? Because they easily jump into the next. [Read: Sneaky giveaways of a potential cheater]

2. Sexual promiscuity

Another typical and common reason for serial cheating is sex. There will be those kinds of people who cannot stick to one bed for their whole life.

Of course, their current partner may be of some value to them but with their urges uncontrollable, they find their sexual fix outside of the relationship with different partners.

3. They are not into long-term relationships

Other times, serial cheaters cheat because they have short commitment spans. Once they find the next chance to jump ship, they do so without warning.

They are also too lazy and self-occupied to break up with their current partner, which doesn’t make them less of an a**hole. [Read: The affair fog – How to know if your lover is under another’s spell]

4. They find stable relationships boring

When two people start a relationship, there are stages.

The first stage is the “getting-to-know-you” stage where you bond and discover each other’s personalities. 

The next stage is the “settling stage” where you have a clear grasp of each other’s personalities. The second stage is also where you become comfortable doing stuff that you usually avoid doing in front of your special someone.

A serial cheat typically disdains the quiet, settled second stage and sticks with the getting-to-know-you stage. So when the relationship slows down to calm waters, they feel uncomfortable and bored, compelling them to find the first-stage thrill in another person. [Read: Relationship stages all couples go through]

5. They lack the maturity to deal with relationship problems

No relationship is perfect. When faced with problems, there are mostly two mature options: you either sit down and work those problems out or get out of the relationship if it is beyond saving.

For serial cheaters, the immature option is to bypass dealing with the problem with their partner and find relationship bliss outside of their current relationship. [Read: 20 signs of emotional maturity and traits that reveal a mature mind]

6. Sexual self-objectification

Some serial cheaters cheat not because of an undesirable aspect of their current relationship but in a flawed sense of sexual self-objectification. That may quite be a mouthful but in simple terms: they want to see themselves as someone sexually desired by others.

These people place a high value on their sexual desirability among the population, but they feel that being in a relationship closes that opportunity for them. That’s why they satisfy their “need to be desired” by finding sexual thrills outside their relationship.

Once they successfully hook up with a third party, their false self-perception of sexual desirability is satisfied like a vampire getting a drink of blood after a long time. [Read: Relationship with a narcissist – What it means to love one]

7. Old world “machismo”

We’re not sure why this type of thinking still exists but it does among some men raised with this type of thinking. One of the hallmarks of the old machismo character is the ability to bed as many women as they can.

This trait may be desirable for this kind of thinking but you know these types of guys end up drunk, lonely middle-aged divorcees.

8. They have a very forgiving partner

Sometimes, it’s not about the cheater but the partner who allows it to happen many times over.

We marvel at these types of people who just sit back quietly and let themselves get cheated on over and over again only to keep “forgiving” the culprit. But whatever reason they have, we can all agree this is an unhealthy relationship. [Read: How to forgive a cheater: Questions to face the betrayal]

9. They are opportunistic

Serial cheating is like capitalism. If you get all the rewards with little cost, then you do what it takes to get you in that win-win situation. For example, a guy with a girlfriend who’s nice and homey yet sexually incompetent tries to fill that shortcoming through infidelity. You get the idea.

Can serial cheaters change?

Anyone can change but first, they need to want to change. The chances are, a serial cheater is not going to see anything wrong with what they’re doing, at least not for long enough to make a change. They like it, and they’ll keep doing it until they no longer find it fulfilling.

However, if they do reach that point, there is a chink of light on the horizon. [Read: How to change for your partner without compromising or losing you]

A serial cheat can try to change by:

1. Figuring out why they cheat

There has to be a deep reason that drives a person to want to cheat over and over again. The fact they refuse to stay committed to a person for long means there is something that needs to be uncovered.

Once they do that, there is hope for change.

2. Seeking structured support

In this type of situation, it’s likely that therapy will be needed. A person who feels the need to cheat over and over will need structured support to work out the reasons why, understand their triggers, and unlearn behaviors that have become ingrained. [Read: Relationship therapy – 25 clues to know if it’ll help your romance]

3. Committing to following firm boundaries

Recovery from serial cheating means setting boundaries and sticking to them. It will be hard, and there may be mistakes along the way, but commitment is the first step toward a future free of bed-hopping.

How does serial cheating affect you?

If you’re in a relationship with a serial cheater, or you’ve been in one and you’ve left, the situation will no doubt leave its mark on you.

Any amount of cheating is painful and can change your view of love and relationships. But serial cheating? That’s a whole other level. [Read: How to get your life back on track after a big change]

Being affected by serial cheating can lead to:

1. Depression

2. Infidelity PTSD

3. Relationship PTSD

4. Relationship anxiety

A person who has been affected by serial cheating is likely to need a lot of support to move on. You should go at your own pace and take some time out for yourself. [Read: Emotional baggage – How to help someone put it down and find freedom]

When to choose couples counseling vs walking away

What should you do if you find out your partner is a serial cheat? Well, that’s up to you. 

If you can genuinely nod along to these serial cheater signs and it’s not the first time they’ve cheated on you either, you might want to start thinking about leaving. In fact, you should leave. 

You really deserve someone who will dedicate themselves to you. It’s no good worrying about what your partner is up to when you’re not around or questioning whether their excuse for working late is genuine or not. How can you ever rest? 

You’ll be constantly paranoid and questioning everything. In the end, you’ll probably drive yourself crazy. [Read: How to forgive someone – 15 positive ways to unburden your mind]

If you want to be happy in a relationship, you need to be able to trust them. You can’t trust a serial cheater! 

For sure, people make mistakes, but they don’t make them more than once if they really learned their lessons.

If your partner made a cheating mistake in the past and you decided to forgive them, they should do everything they can to build the trust back up and help you to feel comfortable that it’s not going to happen again. 

If they’re throwing these serial cheater signs your way, they’re not doing any of that. In fact, they’re doing the total opposite.

However, if your partner wants to change their ways and you’re very sure they’re sincere, perhaps couples counseling is a route you might want to pursue. However, if you do this and they still carry on with their behavior, it has to be game over.

[Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner? The thing you must know before deciding]

A serial cheat has varying motives for being unfaithful. But in the end, it all boils down to a lack of regard towards their partner and a self-destructive cycle of finding a solution to their relationship problems outside the relationship.

The post Serial Cheater: 43 Signs & Traits, Why They Cheat So Often & What to Do Next is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.