It might seem to make sense, after all. Women get more college degrees than men these days and, at least before age 30, in many cities (like New York and Washington, D.C.) out-earn men. The sex roles have flipped. It’s time for women to take on the provider role. Isn’t it?
This member in the thread above later argued that because women have slept with different men and are not virgins, they don’t bring enough to the table and do not deserve his resources. Therefore, they should be willing to do the work and bring home the bacon while he kicks around at home, presumably tidying up the house and working in the shed, or maybe the flower garden (after a hard day of “looking really, really cute,” I guess).
It’s obviously an absurd position to hold, but… why?
WHY is it ridiculous that a man could be the really, really cute & adorable, dependent, lovely house husband and a woman the hard-working, doting breadwinner – even in our modern, feministic, egalitarian society?
Wondering how to tell if a guy likes you? There are always small ways, subtle body language signs, his texting behavior, and more to know if a guy like you!
That awkward time between meeting someone you like and actually starting dating *if you make it that far* is super-confusing. You think he likes you, then he changes tactics, and you have no idea which way is up or down. You might think that it’s impossible to know if a guy has a romantic interest without asking him directly, so the single best way to get over this drama and keep your sanity intact is to learn the signs a guy really likes you.
Then, piece all the signs together without wondering ‘what if.’ That way, you can make your move confidently because you’ll know he’s definitely into you!
How to tell if a guy likes you – From subtle eye contact to actions that speak louder than words!
Learning how to tell if a guy likes you doesn’t require black magic to get it right. It just needs a careful sense of what to look for and the ability to piece it all together. You don’t need a dating coach because we got you covered!
1. He approaches you
What’s one sign that he’s interested in you? Whether in a bar, club, café, in a crowd, or in the office, a guy who likes you will find a way to approach you and get closer to you.
If he comes up to you and initiates conversation, it’s an obvious sign that he either wants to hit on you or is really digging you.
2. He leans in
You can tell if a guy likes you just by observing his body language signs. Relationship experts say that we tend to lean toward people that we like.
Another strategy a guy uses is acting like he isn’t interested in you. You may try to ask him some random question and he’ll just lazily lean back and give you a short answer.
Mixed signals like this are a sign that he’s trying to hide an attraction. But, his disinterest will be very obviously forced. As you can see, learning how to tell if a guy likes you isn’t always so straightforward! [Read: Mixed signals from a guy and how to interpret his actions]
5. His body is turned toward you
Even when he’s on the other side of the room talking to his friends, one of the signs of attraction from a guy is when his body is turned towards you.
His chest or feet are pointing your way, and this could mean that he is highly aware of you, even if he doesn’t seem to show it.
6. He always offers to pay
If a guy keeps insists on paying for your drink, covering your bill, or just wants to take you out for coffee, there’s obviously some strings attached. It’s one of the signs a guy likes you.
It may just be a few cups of coffee on random days, or just a cocktail at a bar, but these little things add up. Of course, maybe he’s just generous, but it’s unlikely. [Read: Is he attracted to you? 16 giveaways to watch out for]
7. He asks for your digits
If a guy comes up to you and asks for your number or your social media handles, then it’s pretty clear he likes you. He may think up some reason to get your number with a clever pickup line, or just ask you outright. Either way, he just wants to have a way to keep in touch with you… and maybe even finally ask you out. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes you over text – 27 clues a guy is falling head over heels]
8. He stalks your socials
He adds you on Facebook and follows you on all your other social media accounts. This is because he wants to know what you’re like, the things you’re up to, and maybe if you have things in common.
Not only is he checking you out on social media, but he is also checking you out in real life. Guys are just naturally wired to be drawn to your assets.
Of course, it’s not just about your body. Does he make eye contact or stare at you lingeringly? Check out his pupils, too. If his pupils are slightly dilated, then that’s a primal sign that he’s attracted to you.
11. You can tell he’s self-conscious
If a guy talks to you and you feel some sort of tension or awkwardness when the conversation stops, it’s a good sign. He might be thinking about what to say next that will impress you.
When learning how to tell if a guy likes you, if he smiles a lot, especially when you look at each other or when you’re around, it’s one of the clear signs that he’s undoubtedly into you.
13. He asks if you’re seeing anyone
Now this is a giveaway. If a guy approaches you and your conversation ends with him asking if you have a boyfriend or are talking to someone, whether indirectly or explicitly, then you know he’s interested. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
14. He’s very agreeable
Admit it, there’s nothing that makes you happier than someone who just agrees with everything you say. While he may disagree with you in some areas as a way of having fun with you, a real indication that he’s probably into you is when he always wants to take your side in every discussion or argument.
15. He doesn’t touch his phone
If you meet a guy who is interested in you and likes you, he’ll forget about everything around him, even his phone. Even if someone calls him or if he gets a notification, he wants to show that he’s enjoying your company and the time you’re together if he ignores his phone.
16. He initiates random chats
One way to learn how to tell if someone is really interested in you is when he makes the first chat move often. He initiates online conversations with a cutesy emoji or even if it’s just some random meme. This is out of the blue and very frequently.
A guy who likes you might also do his best to get your attention by playful teasing. Trying to make you laugh is one of the best signs that he likes you. It’s another form of flirting.
18. He’s heavy on the compliments
Guys rarely notice or even compliment girls they aren’t interested in. So if he gives you something as simple as a “You did a good job!” then he probably likes you. He may also give a few compliments whenever you’re talking.
19. He’s a little touchy-feely
Unless he’s a plain pervert, a guy who likes you can’t get his hands off you. He guides you to your seat, opens doors for you while holding your elbow, or briefly touches your hand or arm while talking to you. He just makes physical contact in any way that he can. [Read: 20 types of physical touches and what each touch means]
20. He tries to be alone with you
A guy who likes you will want to be alone with you. Whether he’s a long-time friend, an officemate, or a guy you’ve just met, he’ll likely ask you to change venues and go somewhere more quiet or private.
It could also be that whenever you spend time with your friends, they suddenly leave you two alone. He wants to talk and is making an effort to get to know you better.
21. He calls when he’s in the area
A guy suddenly texting or calling you up to ask you for a quick coffee/lunch/dinner just because he’s in the area is obviously just another way he’s come up with to spend quality time with you, and that’s how to know a guy likes you!
22. He gives you a pet name
A guy who likes you can’t help but be so endeared to you that he’ll give you a nickname. Often, he’ll think up something that matches your personality, or he’ll get an idea from some story you just told. Whatever it is, it’s one way to get your attention.
22. He’s nicer to you than anyone else
If you work with the guy, you can tell that he’s into you if he’s going out of his way to help you out with work. In general, however, he is just nicer to you than anyone else he’s around. [Read: The things nice guys do that girls mistake for flirting]
23. He remembers the small details
Since a guy who is attracted to someone pays close attention, he will also remember every little detail about them. He’ll even delve deeper into the things they say just to get to know them better.
If he brings up something you said from before, or if he remembers what you wore, he’s likely into you.
24. He’s not joking if he tells you he likes you
If a guy comes up to you and tells you “I like you,” then nothing is more obvious than that. Just tune in on his tone of voice and the expression on his whole face to see how well he likes you.
Sure, some guys are just naturally flirty, but most don’t make an effort to be flirty with those they’re not bothered about. If he’s often quite flirty around you and you notice several other signs too, he’s crushing!
27. He stands up for you
If someone says something behind your back, he might defend you, and you’ll get to know about it. Or someone might say something to your face that could be taken as nasty or joking, and he sticks up for you. Again, it’s a sign he likes you, and a big one at that.
28. Your friends tell you he asks about you
Whenever a guy likes you, he’ll ask your friends about you, and they are likely to report back whenever someone does. If you’re hearing this from your buddies, then there’s a very good reason for him asking! [Read: Help! My friends don’t like my boyfriend]
29. He often appears a little nervous around you
Aww, how cute! If a guy seems a little nervous around you, then it’s probably because he likes you.
Some guys might be overly confident and show their nerves in that way, or others might stumble over their words or fidget. Look out for the signs!
30. He loves to make you laugh
While he probably isn’t going to try a stand-up comedy routine for the sake of it, he might keep cracking the odd joke to see if it makes you laugh.
How to know if a guy likes you? If you ask him to help you, he will. Of course, some guys are just very helpful generally but not all, so always look out for this sign.
32. You often hear from him in the morning and before you sleep
How to tell if a guy likes you? Check when he texts.
‘Good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts are huge signs that someone likes you and it means that you’re one of the first things they think of when they wake up and before they sleep.
33. His friends know about you
Simply find out if his group of friends know about you. If they do, that’s a very good sign indeed and one way to learn how to tell if a guy likes you.
Addressing a person using their name throughout a conversation can be a sign that a person likes you.
If you notice, people who are guarded and don’t want to initiate a conversation will refrain from using your name as much as possible. People who like you will try to use it as often as possible. It’s to feel closer to you and to get used to the idea of addressing you on a more personal level.
35. He slows down for you
Not the pace of the relationship, although that’s helpful sometimes! This is about walking pace. It is scientifically proven that average men and women have different stride lengths because of their anatomical dispositions.
Most women have to walk faster to keep up with a male counterpart because of their shorter legs. So if he consciously slows down, he’s being chivalrous! [Read: What is chivalry? The Knight’s Code and modern men]
36. His voice changes
People’s voices unconsciously change when they are talking to a person they are attracted to. Both men and women use lower-pitched voices when they talk to a person they liked.
Just make sure you find out what their normal pitch is before you assume anything, but it’s one of the signs a guy likes you.
37. He takes on some of your mannerisms
A study showed when two people of the opposite sex *this might work for the same sexes as well* start to develop the same mannerisms within a few minutes or hours of talking to each other, they like each other.
Simply saying, when you lean back, he leans back. When you take a sip of your drink, he takes a sip of his drink. Take note he isn’t aware of what he’s doing. He’s just adapting to your rhythm without realizing it because he’s starting to take a liking to you. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
38. He opens up to you
This is a more reliable marker if you and your crush are in a non-platonic setting. That’s because this also works for people who can become your friend.
People tell secrets to those they trust or those whose trust they want to gain. If a date likes you, he’ll feel comfortable enough to tell you a secret.
39. Your gut is telling you he likes you
There’s nothing more reliable than a person’s gut. Take yourself back to the day you met this person or the day they started interacting with you.
When just the two of you go out or hang out for a while, does he behave like you’re his girlfriend? Does he pull a chair back for you, open doors before you walk through, or offer to get you things?
41. He doesn’t mention other women
When a guy likes a girl and hasn’t told her, he’ll want to make it as obvious as possible without really revealing the truth directly.
At the same time, just to make it extremely clear that he’s into you and no one else, he won’t let you think that he likes another girl and may avoid talking about anyone else when he’s around you.
That way, at least he’d hope to get the message across that you’re the only girl he notices.
42. He seeks you out in a crowd
Even when you’re hanging out with your friends, does this guy make his way through the crowd of friends just to be with you? If he constantly chooses to be around you even when there are several other friends he can talk to, he’s obviously very interested in you. [Read: How men fall in love]
43. He gets jealous around you
One of the signs a guy likes you is when he gets super-jealous. When you talk to a few other guys and give them your undivided attention, does he get moody or surly?
One of the signs that a guy likes you is his uncontainable jealousy. When a guy likes you, he can’t help but feel insecure when he perceives another guy as competition.
44. He asks you out, but in a friendly way
Does he ask you out? As friends, of course! He may not tell you that he likes you or is falling for you, but one of the signs that a guy likes you is his ability to create a date moment out of any situation.
A new movie in town? A shopping sale, perhaps? Or is it a new restaurant? Does he ever want to check out a movie or a place with you? When a guy likes you, he may not be able to ask you out directly, but he’d be looking for an opportunity to sneak in a date when he’s with you. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]
45. His friends tease him when you’re around
His friends know. Just like women, his friends know the minute he’s interested in a girl. They’re no different.
So many guys ask you questions but they don’t really listen to the answers. It’s more because they feel the need to ask you. But if he’s really interested in you, he asks you questions and listens to your answers.
You notice he’s fully engaged in conversation and replying to your answers with more than just an “okay, cool.”
47. He does what he says he will do
You don’t want to necessarily listen to what he has to say, you want to watch what he does. People talk a lot of rubbish to get what they want. If he says he likes you, but he never calls you or gives one-word replies, well, then he lies.
But, if he always follows through, that’s because he wants you to know that he likes you. As they say, actions speak louder than words, so pay attention to how he treats a potential partner, a.k.a., you. [Read: How guys text when they like you – 15 things they do differently]
48. He asks about your plans for the weekend
He may not go so far as making plans with you, but showing interest in your plans probably means that he is waiting for you to take the first step. That’s one of the solid signs a guy likes you. [Read: Do guys like it when women make the first move?]
49. He might flirt with your friends
In their pea brain, they think that if they are more desirable to your friends, you will want them. They might start flirting with one of your friends, and they don’t see it as a personal affront, just a way to appear more popular.
We mentioned earlier that they won’t mention other women, but some guys will try to get the green-eyed monster in you going. [Read: Are you more than friends, or just friends?]
50. He invites you to a family event
He may say that he’s trying to get everyone off his back by bringing a girl to a family event. But think about it, if he didn’t respect and like you, would you be the person he wants his family to think he’s dating?
51. His apartment is clean
If you go to his apartment and it’s clean and smelling fresh, he likes you. Of course, there is always the chance that he is just really neat, but those chances are slim.
52. He will endure a chick flick for you
A guy doesn’t usually go to a chick flick unless he really likes a girl. Period. In that case, you’re looking at one of the usually pretty obvious signs a guy likes you. [Read: 60 most romantic movies in the world that are a must-watch]
53. Any other guy you mention is a douchebag
If you notice that anytime you bring up your male friend, he has nothing but negative things to say, it is likely that he is jealous. He thinks that by making other guys look bad, he will look good. [Read: How to make a guy jealous and get his attention]
54. He offers to walk you home
Sure, most guys are protective, but if he leaves an awesome party to walk you to your car or to your home to make sure you’re safe, there is something more motivating than just wanting to be a nice guy.
55. He invites himself along
If he is often inviting himself along on mundane things like the grocery store and the Laundromat, then he is finding a time to be alone with you.
56. He skips a game to be with you
When there is a game on, and he chooses to do something with you instead, he’s surely got a thing for you.
57. He isn’t entirely open with you
Most women think that a secretive man is always doing something sneaky. Often, if a guy is secretive, it is because he is afraid that if you knew the real him, you wouldn’t like it. Being secretive or closed is a way to protect himself from disapproval.
58. He tries to set you up with his friends
Now, this is the most peculiar behavior of all. In setting you up with his friend, who he knows is totally not right for you, he rationalizes that he will look stellar and will get to spend time with you.
A guy doesn’t go through the hassle of making his famous dish just for the heck of it. If he is putting his time and energy into making you a meal, it is because he is trying to show you that he can be domestic, too. [Read: 20 ways to perfect your first date conversation]
60. He tries out a new look
The guy who is typically dressed in jeans and a t-shirt who shows up with a new trendy button-down is out to impress you.
If, seemingly for no reason, he changes the way that he dresses, gets a haircut, or changes something about himself, he is obviously crushing hard. If he starts working out for no reason, that’s also one of the signs a guy likes you.
15 small ways to make an effort from your end and get him to him like you way more!
So, you’re happy that he likes you. You’re pretty sure that he does because you can tick off several of the signs a guy likes you above. Now, how can you make him like you even more?
Try these things, and you’ll notice him falling harder with each passing day!
1. Support him
Every guy loves someone who is their biggest cheerleader.
2. Focus on yourself as much as on him
Don’t let your own life slide just because you’re crushing back. Focus on yourself, too. [Read: How to live life in the moment]
3. Be attentive when he’s talking
Who doesn’t love it when someone’s attention is totally on them?
4. Ask questions back
Go on, dare to ask some delving questions of your own. It will help you get to know him!
5. Show your intelligence
Guys love someone who can show their brains as well as their looks, so don’t hold back on the smarts!
It’s not just about being confident, it’s about being yourself. Don’t try and be something different or change anything about yourself. Just be who you are.
He’s showing you the signs a guy likes you, so do your best to just be the person he likes.
12. Show your passion for the things you love
Love dogs? Show it! Love singing? Sing away! Whatever you like to do and whatever you’re passionate about, don’t be afraid to show it.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the confusion and drama of a new crush. Now you know how to tell if a guy likes you, you’ve got nothing to be confused about! Enjoy the time and go with the flow.
What does it mean if a girl doesn’t text you first? There are 5 different reasons why she never texts first. All YOU can do is follow your texting process.
I see a lot of stuff online claiming that, “If a girl doesn’t text you first, it means she’s not that interested.”
In articles and videos with this conclusion, the advice to men tends to be something like if she never texts you first, you should move on, and find a girl who’s more interested.
Find a girl who will actually text you first, instead.
There are a lot of reasons you’d want to get in bed with someone you really like, but consider the consequences of having sex too soon first.
Sex is a really important part of any relationship. I can’t deny that. But something many people don’t think about is the fact that when you have sex can also become a major factor. If you hop in the sack before you’re ready, it could cause major issues in your relationship. We’ve outlined the 12 consequences of having sex too soon.
Now, this isn’t just when you have sex for the first time either. Although these consequences definitely affect you when it’s your first time, you also run into issues when you get too hot and heavy too soon in a new relationship.
Why emotional intimacy is crucial
When you start a new relationship with someone, your priority should be building an emotional connection with them. You should get to know them on a deeper level before you get physical.
Why? Because if you’re looking for a long-lasting relationship, you need that emotional connection.
This intimacy is vital to making your relationship last. It’s what binds the two of you together and makes you want to see them happy.
When that emotional connection isn’t there yet and you rush into having sex too soon, you could be hurting the relationship before it gets stable or healthy.
The consequences of having sex before you are ready
Whether a virgin or with someone new, the decision to actually do it with someone should be a lengthy one. Never just hop in the sack and ask questions later—especially if you want a relationship with that person.
There are certain consequences that arise from having sex before you’re ready—either for the first time or with someone you just started seeing. These are the realities you may have to deal with if you jump into their bed too soon. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it]
1. It can send the wrong message
How many times do you end up having sex with someone and then they think that’s all you want? A lot of us do this and then get really frustrated because we want a lot more. We want a relationship.
The issue here is that you probably had sex too soon. When you have sex with someone quickly after meeting them, it can send the message that sex is really all you want.
When you don’t take the time to get to know someone first, it makes them think you don’t want to really know them. [Read: 10 signs you’re feeling lust and not love]
2. You don’t get to build emotional intimacy first
If you’re looking for a real relationship, you have to build emotional intimacy. If you don’t get to know each other really well before deciding to stay together and have sex, it makes your relationship a lot more difficult.
If you don’t form a deeper connection, you probably won’t want to continue in a relationship with them. Sometimes you don’t realize that you don’t have this connection at first. If you have sex too soon, you’ll have hopped into bed for no reason.
3. You may feel emotionally damaged
This is more for those who have sex for the first time before they’re ready. You can’t just think you’ll automatically become more mature after you have sex with someone. You should be emotionally ready before you do so.
4. You risk replacing emotional intimacy for physical intimacy
If you don’t have an emotional connection with someone, you can’t forge one with sex. Having sex with someone doesn’t magically create an intimate, emotional bond.
The truth is some people think having sex bonds and connects them with someone. And when they don’t feel that initial emotional attraction for someone, they have sex with them because they think it helps. It doesn’t.
5. You put a rift in the relationship
So, let’s say the sex wasn’t great because you don’t really know each other, and it’s awkward. This makes spending time with them and getting to know them even more awkward.
When you have sex too soon, it can make both of you more insecure and guarded if it didn’t go according to plan. This puts a rift in your relationship and even prevents you from opening up like you should to your partner.
6. You end up thinking sex is equal to their feelings for you
Just because someone has sex with you doesn’t mean they care about you. A lot of people in relationships who end up having sex too soon are those who think sex means they really like and even love you.
When you’re down for getting it on really early in a new relationship, you begin to depend on sex a little too much. You start seeing it as a means to solve your problems instead of communicating. The problem is that sex doesn’t fix those problems at all.
8. Communication is made more difficult
Sex is definitely a form of communication. You can say a lot through sex, but if you use sex as your main means of communication really early in your relationship, it makes talking to your partner way more difficult. Learn to communicate effectively before you start having sex. [Read: The 7 deadly sins of relationship that ruin romance for good]
9. You may become uncomfortable with your body
If you have sex before you’re comfortable with your body, it only makes things worse. In fact, it changes the way you see your body if you do it too soon. You feel like your body is foreign and strange to you. And that greatly affects your self-esteem.
10. You risk issues in the relationship if you decide to not have sex again for a while
Let’s be real, if you have sex one time in a relationship, it’s expected that you’ll have sex again. And again. And again. However, if you have sex too early, you may feel as though you don’t want to do it again until you’re more ready.
If that happens, you run the risk of your partner getting upset and even angry. Not that they should be mad about not having sex, they’ll most likely be hurt and feel insecure which can come across as angry. It causes a lot of problems.
Bonus risks you can’t ever ignore
11. Pregnancy
Obviously when you’re having sex too soon, you risk pregnancy. And if you jump into it way too soon, you may end up having a child with someone you don’t actually have true feelings for. This changes your entire life, so make sure you know a person deeply before having sex. [Read: 10 reasons why sex can really never be just sex]
12. STDs
Again, if you have sex with someone too soon, you may not realize they carry an STD. And if you’re not even comfortable asking a person if they’ve been tested, then you definitely aren’t ready to have sex with them. Some STDs can be fatal and affect your fertility, so be careful.
Just because sex is important in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can make a relationship whole by having sex. Wait until you’re both ready or you may have these 12 consequences of having sex too soon to deal with.
What makes an after-hours venue good to pick up women is not just that it’s open after hours. Some after-hour clubs are awful. Yet some can be gold mines.
Today I want to discuss a topic that hasn’t been discussed yet on the site—how to pick up in after-hour venues.
The truth is, picking up girls in these venues is not the same as picking up girls in “normal hours” venues. You should consider many factors and calibrate depending on the venue type.
After-hour venues are unique with their own vibe, rules, and universe, whereas regular clubs are open during hours when people usually party. But after-hours venues are open when people typically leave for home or start heading to work around 8 am. I know of a place that closes at around 11 am! When you exit the club at closing time, it is daytime, and you may see families out and about, and you are dressed flashy and all looking like a mess. Good times.
And yes, it is possible to pull even at that hour! I will get into why shortly. I have taken girls home at 10 or 11 am! I cannot guarantee they will always be the best regarding looks or personality. At that later hour, these women are usually “damaged goods.” Be warned.
We have a lot to discuss. First, let’s look at social dynamics to understand each venue type. Next week, we break down a potential game plan.
In today’s modern, egalitarian world, why do women still want long-term providers? Isn’t that redundant? Shouldn’t women just take care of themselves?
