What to Think When Suddenly Your Boyfriend Texts Less Often

You’re all loved up, everything is going well, and, bam! Suddenly you notice your boyfriend texts less often than before. What should you think?

We all know the drill at the start of a relationship, even a flirtation. Everything is hot, fast, and heavy. Texts are pinging backwards and forwards at a rate of knots with no thought to if your boyfriend texts less often ever happening. You have perpetual butterflies and walk around with a huge grin on your face for literally no reason whatsoever. 

It’s a great feeling, right? We’ve all been there. 

The thing is, while it’s great, there is one eventual outcome… your boyfriend texts less often. You panic and overthink absolutely everything. Suddenly the fact he hasn’t texted you all day becomes a huge problem. You go from ‘maybe he’s busy’, to ‘maybe he hates me’, or ‘maybe he’s fallen down a ditch, broken both his legs, and can’t get phone service’. In these situations, our thoughts work faster than our brains. 

[Read: How to manage your expectations in a relationship]

This could be a temporary thing and then everything gets back on track, or it could be something which seems to be ongoing. Either way it’s important not to freak out and panic about it. Personally, I have freaked out and panicked about it far too many times in the past. Most of the time, it was about nothing serious whatsoever. Okay, one time it was about something serious, but he was stupid anyway, so let’s gloss over that one. 

Most of the time, your boyfriend texts less often for a very normal and common reason. Let’s face it, he’s a man. When he hasn’t got a constant reminder of something, it has a tendency to slip from his mind occasionally. That might hurt your feelings, the idea that you’re not on his mind 24/7, but reality check here – you’re not. 

For instance, I was rather annoyed when my boyfriend at the time hadn’t texted me at all, and it was reaching nearly 4pm. Do you want to know why? A new game had been released for his Playstation and suddenly that lump of technological plastic was all he could think about. This pattern went on for five days until he decided that last year’s version of the game was better. 

Seriously. No text because of a Playstation. I’m sure I’m not the only one to fall foul of this issue however. 

[Read: What to do when you’re stuck with a boring boyfriend]

What are the solid reasons that could explain why your boyfriend texts less often?

I was always taught to be positive before negative, and in that case, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt first of all. It is likely that your boyfriend texts less often because of one of the following common, and not at all serious, reasons:

– He is busy at work 

– He’s feeling a little stressed out about something at the moment 

– Something has happened at home and his mind is quite understandably elsewhere

– He’s been a little ill 

– His phone has broken or he’s lost it, seriously, it happens 

These are a few common and temporary reasons why your boyfriend might text a little less often. What sets these few examples apart is that when this issue is resolved, the frequency of texting will probably return back to normal. [Reading: New relationship boundaries: 12 lines all couples must draw early on]

For instance, if you communicate on Facebook Messenger, and he loses his phone, or something happens to it, he may only be able to message you when he has access to a laptop or tablet. In that case, less texting is totally acceptable. 

If he texts you less because he’s out with his friends and has forgotten, is that acceptable? In my eyes, no. It takes literally five seconds to send a quick text. It shows that his mind is not on you and actually on the testosterone-filled pack of friends he is currently with *probably playing Playstation if my experiences are anything to go by*. If it goes on for a longer period of time, think carefully about where this relationship is heading. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend in the making]

There are often solid, normal reasons why someone will text less often, for a period of time. What you should decide is whether this period of time is prolonged, and whether you accept their reason as okay for you. Personally, ‘I’ve been out with my friends’ isn’t really that acceptable if it happens more than once. ‘Hi, how are you?’ – that message takes seconds to send. [Read: How to fix a one-sided relationship before it ends in failure]

In that case, figure out for yourself whether their reasons for texting less often are normal ‘life got in the way’ reasons, or ‘I didn’t think about you, sorry’ reasons. If it’s the latter and repeats, it’s time to wave goodbye in my opinion. 

Is texting less often part of a progressing relationship?

The other thing to ponder is whether you’ve been together long enough for the honeymoon stage to be over. Nothing stays passionate and exciting forever, it’s simply not sustainable. Life gets in the way and we fall into a routine. In this case, your boyfriend texting you less often than when you first got together is actually quite normal. If you think about it, you’ve probably started to text him less often too. [Read: 13 signs the honeymoon period is starting to wane]

In this case, texts are replaced with far better things, such as nights in on the sofa watching TV together, cooking a meal at home, long chats in person, or heading away for the weekend together. Surely those things are better than daily text conversations?

In this case, simply ask yourself if your relationship is evolving past the stage of needing to constantly be in each others’ inboxes. It really could be a positive sign. Most people who have been together a while don’t text each other all day long, simply because they’re going to see each other later on and don’t need to! [Read: 8 little texting mistakes new couples make often]

If it bothers you, send a few flirty texts and initiate a text chat. You’ll probably find he responds in kind and your texting needs are met. 

And then there’s the other option…

I’ve been super-positive up to this point, pointing out the very real and normal reasons why your boyfriend texts less often than he used to. Remember, it’s likely there is no huge issue and just your boyfriend thinking a little less than he should *quite common unsurprisingly*, or because he is busy at work. However, we must address the possibility that your boyfriend texts less often because you’re simply not as important to him as you were at the beginning. 

I know, ouch, right?

[Read: Is he losing interest in you? The signs he might be drifting away from you]

Relationships aren’t always rosy, and sometimes, it can be that your rather gutless boyfriend is attempting to cool things down and end it. He simply doesn’t have the nerve to do it in the real way. It could also be that he doesn’t want to end it, he’s just freaking out at how fast things are moving. 

The only way to find out? Have the conversation. If it’s really bothering you and you’re noticing that he’s less present when you’re spending time together in person, or that he’s simply not as loving or cuddly as he was before, ask him why. Keep it light, but simply say ‘is everything okay here, because I’ve noticed things have been a little different lately’. You’ll get your answers simply by being straight with him. Let’s face it, answers are the least you deserve in this situation. [Read: 15 signs he’s talking to another girl and using you until he hooks her]

What you shouldn’t do however is jump into the conversation when you have no other evidence to back up your thought process. Always think positively first, and assess whether there really could be another reason. If you’re still not happy and something just doesn’t feel right *always listen to that gut*, then a simple question is all you need to find out whether he’s worth spending anymore of your precious time on or not. 

[Read: Should I break up with my boyfriend? 15 signs you clearly need to end the relationship]

At the end of the day, when your boyfriend texts less often than before, it is natural to panic and think that’s it’s over. In some cases, it could be, but in more cases than you might think, there is a simpler, more lighthearted reason behind it.

The post What to Think When Suddenly Your Boyfriend Texts Less Often is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Find the Right Person for You When You’ve Given Up Hope

Dating isn’t about playing games or getting any relationship you can find. It is about knowing how to find the right person for you in a sea of wrong.

When you are looking for the right person, you are looking for one person. That’s it. It seems so simple. There are so many people out there, but how could it be so hard to find the right person that’s right for you?

Well, the issue is we’re going about it all wrong.

When we’re dating, we expect every person we meet to maybe be the right person. We expect someone we like to like us. We expect someone who said they liked us to want to take the next step. But, when dating, there is a lot of rejection, ghosting, and unfairness. Even though we are looking for one right person, we let all these wrong people get to us.

These wrong people slow us down and prevent us from focusing on what is most important when learning how to find the right person.

[Read: Unlucky in love? How to turn things around and get lucky instead]

Are you looking for the right person?

When you’re dating, it is easy to get enveloped in a crush or a few dates going well. We want to get excited and we deserve to be.

But, when we get so involved and it doesn’t work out, we struggle to bounce back. We had feelings for someone and they either weren’t matched or it didn’t work out for another reason, and we feel like we’ll never meet the right person.

Once you’ve been dumped or been let down so many times, it starts to become a pattern and that pattern turns into an expectation. We go from wanting to meet the right person to wanting to meet someone, anyone at all. We start to lower our standards and look for someone we like that likes us instead of the right person. [Read: Why dropping your standards in dating is the worst thing you can ever do]

But, instead of realizing this, we tend to put pressure on ourselves. We aren’t patient so we put the right person ideal on someone we barely know. We hear a few things about someone and figure they are our dream guy or dream girl.

Look at The Bachelor, for instance. Over 25 women abruptly pause their lives to meet a handsome guy with the hopes that he will be their right guy. Now, only one out of the 25 will possibly end up with him, so it’s already a risk.

But, before even meeting him, they put him on this pedestal. He shows some interest and they believe they have an unbreakable connection and they focus on that. This is why women who are sent home on the show, both on night one and the final week are so distraught.

The connection may not have been as good as they imagined, and he probably wasn’t the right person. But they are so broken-hearted because of the expectation they created.

I’m not saying there is something wrong with being hopeful, but these expectations are what makes us think we’re headed for the right person, when in fact we’re headed for a person. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

The expectations we build in our head and the fall we take over the wrong people

This is why it is so hard on us when we are broken up with, or ghosted. Whether we dated briefly or not, we expected this person to be the right person, and now dealing with the fact that it won’t work out hurts even more.

We now have to face losing who we thought was the right person instead of someone on our journey to the right person.

Putting that pressure on the people we’re dating and ourselves is a reckless way to go about dating. It lets us down so easily. [Read: How to date when you have low self-esteem and find true happiness]

It is a fact that not everyone will like you, just as you don’t like everyone. Yet, when we are rejected we let our egos and these preconceived ideals so negatively impact us that we get down on ourselves and find it so hard to move on. Not everyone we meet or date will be the right person. It just isn’t possible. No matter how hard you try, no matter what red flags you overlook, or how much effort you put in, we can’t make the wrong person the right person.

Back to The Bachelor, I always found it so odd that all 25+ contestants really had such strong feelings for the lead. How likely is that? If they were all at a bar or a party, would that be the case? Not likely.

The reason all these contestants are so smitten is their expectation that they stepped away from their lives for something worthwhile, their love story, and their right person. Their lack of outside communication also inherently makes them more focused on this one person.

Of course, most of you are not on a reality dating show. But try to see the parallels to your dating life. When you start talking to someone, you get excited which is great.

Where do most of us go wrong while trying to find the right person

After so much time or going through the nerves of a first date, you tend to put more eggs in that basket. Even if the date wasn’t amazing and there isn’t this magical connection, because things are going well you start imagining the future. [Read: Strong feelings after a first date? How to read all the right signs]

You take this minor progress and run with it. We go from excited to expecting, fairly quickly. We go from looking forward to a second date, to planning trips and meeting their family.

We start looking so far in advance that we forget to really get to know this person and see if we like them and if they are the right person. And, please don’t take this as me lecturing you or telling you this is so bad. I spent 6 years of my adult dating life doing this without realizing it.

I would meet a guy and because we seemed to get along, I would get invested. I would drive myself crazy if he didn’t text me back and then forget about that when he finally did. I would overlook some red flags and even dealbreakers because he liked me and seemed to want the same things. I thought I can make it work because I want that relationship. [Read: 14 first date red flags that speak a lot more than your date says]

I put all my hope into this person and this relationship, without a real basis. Then, when it didn’t work out for any number of reasons, I wasn’t just bummed I wasted a couple weeks on someone, but I would be mourning the loss of everything I thought I was getting.

It wouldn’t be until months later I realized I didn’t even like the guy that much. I was invested in this fairytale I wanted more than the actual guy. [Read: Are you in love with someone, or just the idea of being in love?]

Much later, I realized I wasn’t looking for my right person, just any person who could give me what I thought I wanted.

If this story sounds familiar to you, you are certainly not alone. This is something so many of us put on ourselves because we want that right person so badly we are willing to do anything for it.

But, we shouldn’t be. Learning how to find the right person isn’t about settling or dreaming. It is about getting to know the other person. [Read: 30 questions to ask someone you just met and read them like a book]

How to find the right person

Learning how to find the right person isn’t about where you’re looking. It isn’t about being friends first or having a checklist. Knowing how to find the right person takes patience and time. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but it is so vital. If you rush it, you won’t know if you’ve found the right person or just a person that seems right.

And I truly hope I can help you learn how to find the right person for you, because I didn’t learn how to do it until I had already done it. When I met my boyfriend, I had taken a break from dating for a while. I realized I was in a rut and was over meeting the wrong guys.

I didn’t know how to determine who was right or wrong for me before getting invested and then getting hurt. It wasn’t about being nonchalant or acting like I didn’t really want a boyfriend, but it was about being realistic and living in the moment. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons to perfect your love life]

I am someone who would get insanely anxious for first dates. No matter how great the person seemed, I would just be loaded with nervous energy. This is why I put so much pressure on dating. I didn’t want to meet someone and deal with that anxiety if I wasn’t getting something good out of it.

Until I met my boyfriend, I carried that desire with me. But, once I took a break from dating I had the time to realize that dating shouldn’t be about the possible end result. Maybe my anxiety wasn’t just naturally so high when it came to dating, but all that pressure was making it worse.

Maybe I was expecting so much from one date, that if it didn’t work out I’d be so broken up about it instead of simply realizing it wasn’t right. Questioning those things made me realize I could date without the expectations. I could still hope things would work out, but I didn’t need to put on so much pressure.

Instead, I focused on being myself and getting to know the guy I was meeting. I met my boyfriend online. We spoke for about a week before meeting for coffee. I liked talking to him but I wouldn’t say it was a love match right away. I decided to meet him because we got along and I felt like we’d have a good time. [Read: 18 must-know tips to fall in love slowly like a fairytale]

But, I went into that coffee date more relaxed than I’d ever been. I went there realizing that I might not like him and he might not like me and that would be okay.

We spent our first dating talking and asking each other questions. I didn’t focus on if he liked me, or if I liked him. I didn’t worry about if I could see a future with him, I just enjoyed our conversation.

I wasn’t smitten right away but we had a good time, so we had a second date. This time we went for lunch and again, had a really nice time. I realized our conversations flowed and it wasn’t hard to talk to him. I was in the moment instead of looking ahead. [Read: 18 undeniable signs you’ve found the One for you]

By our third date, I knew I was into him. I could see myself really liking him and wasn’t holding back. Normally, this is where I would start putting pressure on him and myself for some sort of commitment.

Instead, I was honest with him that I liked him but just wanted to enjoy our time instead of worrying what it would or wouldn’t become. It wasn’t until about three weeks that I asked him what he was looking for. I realized I was having feelings for him and wanted to see if he wanted something casual or a relationship. He told me he was open to what happens, but we also were both off the app we met on. [Read: What are we? How to get your crush to label your relationship]

In the past, I would have lied and said ‘me too’ in a nonchalant way, so I could be seen as the cool girl while I freaked myself out with the idea that I’d never have a boyfriend. Instead, I told him the truth. I said I do want a relationship eventually, but I don’t want to rush it. If we both feel it, then we’ll talk about it then.

As another month went by and I let myself get to know him without secretly hoping for a relationship label, I felt myself relax. I was actually comfortable around him. I wasn’t on edge or nervous. I let myself get to know him without ulterior motives or expectations. I knew I could see myself in a relationship with him but I didn’t feel the need to rush it because I was happy. I wasn’t ignoring red flags or trying too hard.

I focused on the time we were together. And about three months after meeting, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I was so caught off guard. I had become so happy and relaxed just taking my time that I wasn’t expecting that at all. It’s now a year and a half later, and I couldn’t be happier or more sure that I’m with the right person.

Why I am sharing this with you, and how can it help you

Now, I didn’t tell you this to make you feel bad. I also didn’t tell you this to mimic the cliche that when you stop looking, you’ll find your person because that is inherently untrue. I told you this, so you could take the steps I did. I told you this, so that you could learn how to find the right person for you.

It isn’t about not looking. If I wasn’t looking, I wouldn’t have been online dating. The whole time I knew I wanted a partner, but also realized I wanted the right person not just any person. And in order to find that, you have to be able to put getting to know them and yourself over the label and end result. [Read: How to find true love – 20 foolproof lessons you must learn first]

I’m not saying you have to put your dreams of marriage or commitment aside, or wait patiently for the person you’re seeing to feel how you do. You should know what you want, but that shouldn’t cloud the enjoyment of dating.

It is important to have deal breakers and to know what you want ultimately, but there is no need to rush into the end result. Your relationship with the right person doesn’t start when you make it official. It starts when you meet. You have to be able to enjoy getting to know the right person to know it’s the right person.

[Read: When will I find love? The secrets you need to understand to draw the one towards you]

So, knowing how to find the right person in a sea of wrong isn’t about being picky or ignoring what you want. It’s about getting to know the right person and enjoying every moment of it.

The post 
How to Find the Right Person for You When You’ve Given Up Hope is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Unhelpful vs. Helpful Mindsets for Seduction

The way you think about things can help you seduce more women, or it can hurt you. Recognizing whether a mindset helps or hurts is key to adopting healthier beliefs.

In seduction, there are mindsets that are helpful to a man's seductive efforts, and there are mindsets that are unhelpful to them.

Helpful mindsets can be cultivated and used. Unhelpful ones should be pruned.

Much of the time when we talk about mindsets, I focus on talking about unhelpful mindsets to prune. Why don't I talk about helpful mindsets more? Because often when you talk about helpful mindsets, men either cannot relate to them (because those specific mindsets do not resonate with them, personally) or even find them boastful (even if it isn't how you intend).

There's an interesting phenomenon though where one man's unhelpful mindset is another man's helpful one.

To get you thinking clearer about your own mentalities, I'd like to take you through an 'unhelpful vs. helpful' mindset review and give you a chance to figure out which each of your own thoughts is.

16 Psychological Facts about Crushes to Decode What You’re Feeling

So, you have a crush on someone. Having a crush is an emotional and fun experience. Today, I’m giving you some psychological facts about crushes. 

Having a crush is really special. It’s emotional, thrilling, and exhilarating all at once. But do you know that there’s more to a crush than just liking someone? Here are all the psychological facts about crushes that’ll make you look a falling for someone in a whole new way!

When you have a crush on someone, you experience a lot of emotional ups and downs without the other person even knowing any of it. You see this person and everything changes. You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you go to bed dreaming about them, and spend your mornings making sure you look your best. Ah yes, you, my friend, have a crush and you’re crushing pretty hard. But that’s nothing to worry about. Everyone will have to go through the experience of having a crush at one point or another. 

[Read: How to act cool in front of your crush and grab their attention effortlessly]

The psychological facts about crushes you need to know

What do you know about crushes? Yes, you know the emotional side of things, but what about the facts?

Well, today, you’re going to learn some pretty interesting psychological facts about crushes to help you understand what you’re feeling. Maybe these facts will help you understand your situation, or maybe they’re just interesting to know. Either way, you’re about to learn a little more about the crushes and possibly that you’re not actually crushing on someone. Gasp! The drama!

It’s time to know the psychological facts about crushes that help you understand why we behave the way we do when we have a crush.

#1 How special is your crush? Oh, I have a feeling you put your crush on a pedestal—it happens to the best of us. But listen, the higher the pedestal, the more you’ll want them. I know you think your crush is the epitome of perfection, but putting them on a pedestal will only make your feelings grow. That’s not a bad thing, but if the feelings aren’t reciprocated, it’ll sting. [Read: 13 painful and soul-crushing signs your crush doesn’t really like you back]

#2 Making the first move? You may be waiting for your crush to make the first move and that’s not actually a bad idea. Did you know that if you make the first move, you’ll be more attracted to the other person?

So, it’s in your best interest for your crush to make the first move! When you make the first move, you put yourself out there and most likely have stronger feelings than the other person. [Read: How to make your crush like you and fall hard for you with minimal effort]

#3 Is your birth control taking control? Whoa, what? Now, I’m not advocating for you to not practice safe sex, I’m just saying, your birth control may be taking control of your attraction. One study found that oral contraceptives actually influenced women’s opinions so drastically that later on, they were more prone to losing attraction to their partner.

The pill persuaded a woman to seek redeeming qualities like intelligence or financial security or completely changed her preferences while taking her birth control. The study showed that on the pill, some women became asexual and others were turned off by their partner.

#4 A like for a like? Here’s a psychological fact about crushes that’ll bound to leave you confused! Sometimes, our crushes aren’t genuinely formed. Have you ever been told by a friend that a certain person likes you? And then when you see that person, you start to have feelings for them?

Suddenly, you’re attracted to them, out of nowhere. Well, this attraction is formed when you feel complimented by their feelings. This experience releases positive thoughts and suddenly, you started to notice them. [Read: How to tell if someone likes you without ever asking them]

#5 Is your crush older? Here’s a good question for you, is your crush significantly older than you? Did you know that people whose parents had them in their 30s and 40s are more likely to find older-looking faces more attractive than someone who’s born to a younger couple? How crazy is that? Take a look at your celebrity crushes and see who you tend to like. Are they typically older? Maybe your parent’s age had something to do with it. 

#6 What color is your outfit? Now, this is one of the important psychological facts about crushes if you’re trying to get them to like you back. All that time in the morning choosing the perfect outfit may actually come in handy. Wearing a particular color can increase your sex appeal. Wearing an article of clothing that’s red changes the way a person is sexually perceived. So, that’s your hint to run to the mall and stock up on the color red! [Read: The science of attraction and 17 aspects that go far beyond looks]

#7 Dreaming about your crush. When we’re crushing on someone, we can become a little obsessive. Did you know that almost 90% of people start making up scenarios in their heads that most likely will never happen, right before falling asleep? Well, just because they won’t happen in real life doesn’t mean we can’t dream about it. Let us live! Why does this fact about crushes have to be so cruel! 

#8 Love can literally be in the air. Oh, yeah, it’s as crazy as it sounds. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but did you know that it’s also in the nose? Doesn’t sound as sexy though, that’s for sure. We secrete pheromones that allow us to subconsciously communicate with other people—especially ones we’re interested in. Do we know what your body says to another? No, but it does low-key tell your crush that you’re into them. [Read: What are pheromones? The scent of sex and the role they play in attraction]

#9 Look deep into their eyes. How sexy is eye contact? Very sexy. And it’s a great indicator if your crush likes you back or not. When you’re attracted to another person, your pupils dilate, meaning they get larger in size. Next time you’re talking to your crush, look directly into their eyes and see what their pupils look like. Just try not to look too creepy while doing it. Subconsciously, larger pupils make us look more attractive to others. 

#10 Pay attention in chemistry class. You should pay attention in chemistry class because love is all about chemistry. When you fall in love or have a crush on someone, you feel a rush of different emotions. You’re euphoric, have more energy, and your palms become sweaty. It feels like you’re high from drugs. This feeling is caused by dopamine and it’s connected to motivation and reward. When you see your crush, you get this rush of dopamine throughout your body. [Read: What is dopamine? The dopest pleasure pill inside of you!]

#11 Symmetry can play a role. Here’s a psychological fact about crushes and facial symmetry that can give some people any unfair advantage. Looks are a small fraction of what attracts us to our crushes. But if your crush happens to have a symmetrical face, well, it’s to their advantage.

People love well-aligned faces. Symmetry is attractive to us because it signifies good genes. People with proportioned faces tend to get more attention. Is your crush sporting a symmetrical face? Do you think it plays a role in your attraction to them? [Read: The 12 biggest rules of sexual attraction as explained by science]

#12 Short-lived emotions. Here’s a psychological fact about crushes that slips into the territory of love! Did you know on average, a crush lasts only four months? That’s right. If those feelings persist, well, you’re not crushing on this person—you’re in love. You probably didn’t expect to read that. But don’t freak out. Naturally, science is important, but when it comes to feelings, they’re not really measurable. Your feelings could be more of an obsession than genuine love for them if it lasts longer than four months. 

#13 Having a crush is an addiction. Here’s one of the psychological facts about crushes you need to know. The experience of having a crush is actually similar to being addicted to drugs. Oxytocin is a hormone that brings people together, it’s known as the “bonding hormone.” During an orgasm, it’s released to create a bond between two people. However, when that hormone no longer exists, the feeling is similar to a drug withdrawal. You become agitated, cranky, and suffer from mood swings. [Read: The health benefits of hugging that’ll make you want to cuddle more]

#14 Love is actually blind. But seriously, it is. Your mom was right when she told you love is blind. It’s actually scientifically proven. Researchers discovered that when you become close to another person, the feelings of love actually suppress brain activity connected to critical thought. Which explains why people in love don’t see flaws or red flags that a normal person would. They’re blinded!

#15 Syncing with your crush. When you see your crush, does your heart beat faster? If they like you back, most likely, their hearts are beating at the same pace as yours. Crazy, right? Scientists discovered that couple’s breathing patterns and heart rates matched up when they were sitting close to each other. If you can manage to hear your crush’s heartbeat *good luck*, you’ll find out! [Read: 32 really weird, psychological facts about love no one seems to know!]

#16 You boost their ego naturally. When we have a crush, we want them to like us. Maybe you weren’t into them previously, but now, all you do is laugh at their jokes. Sometimes, their jokes aren’t even good, but you laugh anyway.

This happens because you want to build a bond with them and that’s done through laughing. When people laugh together, they bond and build a connection. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re trying to bond with your crush by laughing at their jokes. Is it working?

[Read: How to be really funny and make people love your company – The full guide]

Now that you know these psychological facts about crushes, what do you think? Do you see some of these facts incorporated in your feelings about your crush?

The post 16 Psychological Facts about Crushes to Decode What You’re Feeling is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Deal With a Narcissist in the Best Way You Possibly Can

Learning how to deal with a narcissist is one thing, but getting away completely is a way better idea. Here’s how to handle them in the best way possible!

Narcissist is a common word we hear a lot of, these days. Before we talk about how to deal with a narcissist, you need to keep in mind that this is a term that’s also thrown around quite a lot, and unnecessarily too. If someone shows one slight narcissistic trait, they’re labelled a narcissist. However, it’s important to understand that we’re all little selfish from time to time and we all do things we wish we hadn’t – doing those things occasionally doesn’t make you a narcissist.

If you have someone in your life who has narcissistic traits, it’s important to handle it in the right way. Learning how to deal with a narcissist is all very well and good, but if this is someone you’re in a friendship or romantic relationship, it’s a far better option to walk away.

That might sound harsh, but spending an extended amount of time around a narcissist will not end well for you. Trust me, I know.

[Read: How to tell if someone is a narcissist and recognize them instantly]

What is a narcissist?

First things first, let’s really nail down what a narcissist is, versus what it isn’t. There are many common misconceptions about narcissists, which doesn’t help you to really identify this trait in someone close to you.

Many people with narcissism actually have a personality disorder called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD for short. However, there are many people who fall into the narcissistic spectrum, but don’t display enough of it to be diagnosed. That doesn’t help when you’re spending time round them.

To define it simply, a narcissist is someone who lacks empathy. That’s probably the easiest way to describe it, but it’s a little more in-depth than that.

A narcissist lacks empathy and that means that they cannot love someone in the same way as someone who isn’t narcissistic. And they can’t relate to another person in a sympathetic and loving way. Narcissists are extremely selfish, self-absorbed, and controlling. Manipulation is their go-to method of handling people and you’ve probably also heard of gas-lighting too. [Read: 16 signs and tactics real manipulators use to manipulate everyone in their lives]

How are narcissists different from the rest of us?

A narcissistic has an inflated sense of self and assumes that they are the very best at everything, and anyone who disagrees is wrong.

Describing a narcissist is difficult because it sounds like you’re describing a cartoon villain. However, when you’ve spent any amount of time around someone who is truly narcissistic, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s a draining, confusing, and manipulative feel and it’s something which is extremely unhealthy on both sides. [Read: 15 signs of a taker in a relationship – Are you a giver or a taker?]

When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you can’t truly class it as loving and genuine. Narcissists cannot love in the regular way; they can control and they can manipulate, but they can’t give and experience love in a way that will make you happy. Instead, you’ll be controlled and you might not even realize it’s happening because they’re so good at covering their tracks, turning on the charm when they think you’re figuring them out, and also manipulating you into doubting your own thoughts.

You might love them but the sad truth is that there is no happy future in your relationship, because a narcissist won’t change. [Confession: Loving a narcissist and what it really means to be in love with one]

17 things a typical narcissist does or has, that make them so different from other people

To help you identify a narcissist in your life, let’s identify some common narcissistic traits. Before you can learn how to deal with a narcissist, you have to know one when you see one.

#1 An inflated sense of self-importance. Narcissists believe that they are the most important being on the planet and you should drop everything and do whatever they ask you to do, and also be a mind-reader when it comes to their needs.

#2 Their opinion is fact and yours isn’t necessary. The opinion of a narcissist is the law in their mind. If you try and voice your own opinion, it will be pulled down, belittled, or even laughed at. When learning how to deal with a narcissist, you need to hold onto your sense of self, to avoid feeling less than you are. [Read: How do narcissists end a relationship – The ways to predict their mind]

#3 Needs constant validation and admiration. Despite their arrogant front, narcissists are actually very easy to hurt and they require constant validation and admiration from those around them. If they don’t get this, they can become very moody and withdrawn.

#4 Uses passive aggressive behavior or the silent treatment when things don’t go their way. If something doesn’t go quite how the narcissist wants it to, you can expect them to move into angry outbursts, passive aggressive behavior, or for the silent treatment to be used. These are all methods of controlling a partner or friend, because they know that the other person will respond to them in order to pull them out of their negative mood. [Read: How to respond to silent treatment and stop being power-played by a narcissist]

#5 Exaggerates everything they do to make themselves look better. A narcissist will often exaggerate everything to make themselves appear richer, stronger, more successful than anyone else around them. This can be frustrating because it’s simply not possible for them to just be who they are.

#6 Has to have the very best of everything. The best car, best phone, best partner, best house, best job, they have to have the very best of everything and they will show it off to the max. It’s not unusual for a narcissist to seek out the most attractive partner and simply use them as a trophy. [Read: 14 signs you’re a trophy partner and being used only as an ego boost]

#7 Often hangs around with people in power or importance, to make themselves appear in the right circle. Narcissists often try and attach themselves to those who are famous or in power, because this makes them appear important by association.

#8 Often uses gas-lighting techniques to manipulate. Gas-lighting is a very common technique used by narcissists and it makes the victim start to question their own sanity.

For instance, a narcissist will tell you they will meet you at x restaurant at x time. When they don’t show up and you call to ask where they are, they’ll tell you they never arranged that with you and call you crazy. You then start to question whether you really did make it all up. It’s effective because the more it’s done, the more you start to believe it. [Read: How to spot gaslighting in a relationship and shut it down for good]

#9 Belittles and pulls down those around them. Because the narcissist has to be the most important person in the room, they will belittle everyone else to make themselves appear better in every aspect possible. It can be very difficult to watch and even harder to experience when it is happening to you.

#10 Can be quite bullying. A narcissist is a bully, whether they appear to be or not. There are several different types of narcissism.

For instance, a vulnerable narcissist appears to be lacking in confidence and needing a little TLC, but underneath it all they’re just using that façade to pull you in and make them feel better about themselves. Bullying isn’t always straight up name calling, sometimes it can take different forms but a regular type of narcissist will certainly go down the old-school bullying route, for sure. [Read: What are the different types of narcissists you should be on the lookout for]

#11 Lives in a bit of a fantasy world. The world that a narcissist lives in is totally made up in their own head. It’s a world where they’re the best of everything, and they’re in charge. Of course, when they get a reminder that this isn’t reality, they start to lash out. 

#12 They assume everything should just fall into their lap. When it comes to knowing how to deal with a narcissist, you need to understand that their sense of entitlement is huge. They expect everything to work out for them without any work and when it doesn’t, they sulk and find it hard to express or control their emotions.

#13 Works to isolate friends and lovers, to keep them in “their place”. When someone is in a relationship with a narcissist, they’ll probably end up isolated from their friends and family members. The narcissist wants their partner to be totally reliant upon them and that means pulling them away from any outside influences that could cause a problem or call them out. [Read: 21 big signs of emotional abuse narcissists use to keep you isolated and alone]

#14 They expect you to do everything they want. When learning how to deal with a narcissist you’ll quickly find that they expect you to do whatever they tell you or whatever they want. And they will not react kindly when you don’t do it. They are the best in the world as far as they’re concerned, and that means you should do whatever they demand.

#15 Can’t appreciate that other people have feelings or needs. Narcissists can’t experience empathy and that means they’re not able to appreciate how another person may be feeling or that they have needs and wants too. This is one of the single reasons why being around a narcissist is so difficult – everything is about them. 

#16 Can’t handle criticism of any kind and often results in outbursts of anger. Criticizing a narcissist will never end well. They’ll probably shout and go into a rage, give you the cold shoulder for a very long time, or use passive aggressive behavior to try and get you to apologize and go back on what you’ve said. Narcissists believe they are the best but they also have a desperate need to be validated. When that doesn’t happen, they really don’t like it. [Read: Narcissistic rage and ways to handle the angry backlash of a cornered narcissist]

#17 Often swings from one emotion to another. Narcissists have issues with emotions. They can’t feel them in the same way and can’t process them in the same way. That means they often have emotional swings which they can’t process and that results in difficult and challenging behavior.

How to deal with a narcissist

When learning how to deal with a narcissist, be it a lover, friend, colleague, or even family member, it’s important to have information to hand. This means you’re already one step ahead of the game and you won’t be manipulated as easily as you may otherwise be.

Let’s look at a few ideas on how to deal with a narcissist, so you can work out what to do next. Of course, my advice to you is to cut your losses and move on. But if you feel you need to work your way out of the situation first, let’s cover some things you can do in the meantime.

#1 Understand what is going on. Power is in knowledge, so make sure that you do as much research as possible about narcissism. Use all the links you find here in this article and they will help you to figure out what is going on behind the scenes. [Read: What causes narcissism? The facts and theories to understand a narcissist]

#2 Challenge their behavior in your own mind first. When something happens or they say something to you which is hurtful, take some time alone to challenge the experience and put it into perspective. That will stop you from being manipulated quite so easily.

#3 Know that your needs will never be tended to. You have to come to the very firm conclusion that in this relationship/friendship/situation, your needs will never be a priority and will never be attended to. You will always come far, far down the list of priorities, and that’s simply not something you should ever have to put up with.

#4 Avoid the illusion – it’s not true. Know that the fantasy of what the narcissist has designed is just a ruse. They will appear charming, funny, loving, sensitive, and successful, but it’s simply not true.

They’re not charming, they’re just able to turn on their charms when it suits them. And they’re certainly not funny when they’re belittling you. They can’t love you in the regular way. And they have no idea what sensitivity really is. Successful? That’s probably an illusion too. It’s normal to want to be with someone who appears perfect but a narcissist is far, far from perfect. [Read: Why do narcissists ignore texts and do the selfish things they do]

#5 Set boundaries and stick to them. It’s vital that you set healthy boundaries, that you voice them, and above all else, that you stick to them and do whatever you say you’re going to do. If you tell the narcissist that if they shout at you one more time you’ll just walk away, you have to do so. Expect your boundaries to be tested; it’s a narcissist’s nature.

#6 Don’t take whatever they say or do personally. A little earlier, I mentioned challenging words and actions in order to keep them in perspective. In addition, you have to avoid taking things personally because that makes you a prime manipulation snack.   

#7 Avoid arguing, you’ll never win. Just don’t bother. Seriously, save your breath for something more interesting if you want to know how to handle a narcissist without losing your mind. You’ll just tie yourself up in knots and feel extremely frustrated. [Read: How to stop giving a narcissist the attention they so badly crave and cut their narcissistic supply]

#8 Look for support from those around you. You don’t have to do this alone. When learning how to deal with a narcissist, you need to have those around you on board. If you’ve become isolated from them, reach out; they’re probably waiting for you to do so. Then, you can work out a way to get your life back on track, with their help to make you feel stronger.

#9 Make a plan to get out of the situation. Make a plan and stick to it. If you’re going to leave a lover, work out what you’re going to do, how you’re going to do it, and make sure you cover all options so that you don’t have to go back for anything. Your friends and family members will help you with this. [Read: How to break up with a narcissist and fly out of their gilded cage]

#10 Focus on yourself. By turning your attention onto yourself, you’ll feel stronger, more in control and the narcissist will find it harder to manipulate you.

[Read: How to break a narcissist’s heart, and why it’s almost impossible to do]

Learning how to deal with a narcissist comes down to understanding the traits and knowing that it’s not about you. Then, you need to work out what is best for you and remove yourself from the situation as quickly as you can.

The post How to Deal With a Narcissist in the Best Way You Possibly Can is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

What is PDA in a Relationship? The Full Guide to Every Aspect of It

You may know what is PDA in a relationship, but do you know why people love it or hate it? Or the laws you need to follow? Here’s your full PDA guide! 

We love to throw around the term ‘PDA,’ but do you know exactly what is PDA in a relationship? Don’t be fooled; this acronym is packed with layers in our society.

How do you feel about PDA? Are you someone who loves being hugged and kissed by their partner in public? Or are you the person who would rather have their partner keep their hands to themselves until you get home? Usually, people fall somewhere in the middle. But there’s a lot of debate on why people love or hate PDA. Well, we’re going to break down what is PDA in a relationship, and what it reveals about your relationship.

What is public display of affection?

Public display of affection or also known as ‘PDA’ is a term used to describe any form of physical contact between a couple in public. It’s an umbrella term that includes literally every form of physical contact, from hand-holding to kissing to cuddling. 

[Read: The forehead kiss – What it means and why it’s so special to everyone]

Psychology of public display of affection

The psychology of public display of affection in relationships is deeper than you may think. Sure, on the surface, it just looks like a horny couple that can’t get their hands off each other, but it’s more than that. There are four main reasons why people engage in PDA.

#1 Enhancing their image. Well, you probably weren’t expecting this to be a reason. A study from the University of Kansas published in The Journal of Sex Research found this to be one of the main reasons people engage in PDA. Many people engage in PDA to enhance their image or social status. 

#2 Signal your relationship status. When you’re out in public, and you kiss your partner, you’re signaling to other people that you’re in a relationship and taken. Though this doesn’t mean if someone doesn’t like PDA, it’s because they don’t want people to know they’re taken. [Read: How to make your partner feel special with the smallest gestures]

#3 Cause they can. Why not? You and your partner aren’t breaking any laws. Okay, sure, there are unspoken public display of affection laws, but overall, if couples can kiss each other in public, they’ll do it because they can. 

#4 Make other people jealous. Oooh, isn’t that interesting. In a study, it was found that women kissed other women to provoke jealously in other people. Who would have thought? [Read: Why do guys drool when two girls kiss each other?]

If these are the psychological reasons behind PDA, then what’s the reason behind why people love or hate PDA?

Why people love or hate PDA

Good question! There are a couple of reasons why people love or hate PDA. Not everyone likes making out with their partner in public and that’s completely understandable. But what’s the reasoning behind it?

#1 Cultural. If you’ve grown up in a conservative culture, the odds are you weren’t highly exposed to PDA. While some cultures view PDA as something very normal, other cultures do not. In addition, if someone grew up in a household where their parents didn’t show affection to one another, then PDA is something foreign to you. If you grew up in a home where your parents were affectionate, then this behavior will feel normal. [Read: How to show affection in a relationship if it doesn’t come naturally to you]

#2 Psychological. Why people love or hate PDA can also be psychological. There are people who simply enjoy the attention. They like to exhibit their affection towards their partner and get the adrenaline from pushing the boundaries. It can be an exciting experience for some people. 

#3 Social. When a man is kissing his partner in public, it can show a level of social dominance and subconsciously communicate to other men that she’s with him. Now, depending on the partner, some will like it and others will find it degrading. It’s safe to say many people don’t want to feel like they’re an object that’s been won. [Read: How to show off your girlfriend on social media in a way she’ll love]

#4 Relational. The last reason why people love or hate PDA is due to confidence and insecurities. Some people need PDA to give them the reassurance that they’re desired and needed. This comes from a place of deep insecurity. [Read: 20 signs of insecurity people can’t hide when they feel insecure]

But aside from hating or loving PDA in a relationship, there are people who fear PDA. Why do some people fear PDA?

Why do some people fear PDA

Now, there are many reasons why someone may fear PDA. We need to remind ourselves that we all have our own life experiences and that affects our relationships with others. Here are the three main reasons why some people fear PDA in a relationship.

#1 Confidence level. Some people are simply uncomfortable and lack the confidence to publicly display their affection towards their partner. They want to hold their partner’s hand or give them a kiss, but they fear making that move. [Read: Is he shy or just not interested? 15 signs to decode his behavior]

#2 Past relationship trauma. Though someone is in a new relationship, they may take their previous relationship trauma with them into their current relationship. This trauma can affect the way they interact with their current partner. Depending on their previous experiences, PDA may have been a trigger to something harmful. 

#3 Stigma. While some countries accept PDA in a relationship, other countries do not. This can place a stigma on people who want to show PDA. For example, a woman may be considered a slut if she holds hands with her boyfriend. Though she knows she’s not that, she may struggle to overcome that stigma. [Read: Easy lay? 18 things a girl does that makes guys think she’s easy]

What is acceptable PDA in a relationship

This is a question that’s been around for ages. What is acceptable PDA in a relationship? Well, it’s completely individual. What is acceptable PDA depends on what each person in the relationship prefers. 

Some people don’t appreciate PDA, while others can’t get enough of it. However, what’s important is to reflect on your feelings on PDA and see where they’re coming from. Are they coming from a place of security? Are they coming from a place of fear? If so, why? Get to the root of your reasoning to make sure you’re making healthy decisions. That said, there is an unspoken line with PDA and it’s important to know when you’re crossing it. [Read: 15 ways public display of affection can save your relationship]

When does PDA cross the line?

This isn’t exactly the easiest question to answer because it depends on a variety of things. In some cultures, crossing the line is when you hold hands. In other cultures, there’s not really a defined limit to PDA. However, to determine when does PDA cross the line, you need to look at the situation and see whether or not PDA is appropriate. For example, if you’re at a funeral, making out is not going to fly. If you’re at the mall, holding hands is perfectly fine. If you’re making the people around you uncomfortable, then you know you’ve crossed the line. [Read: Prude and proud of it! 20 signs you’re very prudish and awkward about sex]

In general, most people follow the unspoken public display of affection laws when it comes to staying appropriate. What are they? Let’s find out. 

Public display of affection laws

If you’re trying to figure out how much PDA is too much, you can use this guide to give you a general estimation. However, please remember, your country may have its own societal norms regarding PDA. So, take that into consideration as well. 

#1 Kissing: Kissing your partner is fine; however, you don’t need to have a steamy make-out session while in public. There are movie ratings for this type of stuff. So, keep your kissing PG-13.

#2 Touching: Touching your partner, if they approve, is fine. Holding hands, having your arm around each other—it’s all okay. However, you don’t need to touch your partner’s genital area and vice versa in public. [Read: 18 bad habits that’ll make your partner want to leave you]

#3 Groping: In some countries, groping in public is even illegal *double check your country’s laws*. However, in general, you can save the groping for when you’re at home. There are children outside!

#4 Nibbles: Kissing is one thing, but if you’re sucking and nibbling on their lips in public, maybe you should save that for the bedroom. It’s a highly sexual move to make in public. [Read: How to be the power couple all your friends are jealous of]

#5 Electronic affection: You and your partner need to decide what your comfort level is. You two don’t need to post photos of you two making out and licking each other’s faces. Kissing? That’s okay. Hugging? No problem. But when it makes others uncomfortable, take a step back. Sometimes it’s hard to know when the line is crossed with PDA in a relationship, especially on social media. 

PDA and social media

There’s nothing wrong with PDA in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with social media. There’s nothing wrong with PDA and social media. But, like everything, there are limits. Because you don’t really know your audience on social media, it’s easy to get carried away with what you post. However, oversharing on social media can be harmful to your relationship. [Read: Couples and social media – What you should share and what you should avoid sharing]

Sharing PDA photos on social media shouldn’t compensate for your relationship. Though you’re showing everyone else you’re happy, don’t make the mistake of replacing your actual relationship with social media posts. Focus more on the time spent offline rather than online. 

[Read: 20 things happy couples don’t do in a happy relationship]

Public display of affection etiquette

Public display of affection can be tricky business. If you know how to do it well, it can seem cute and affectionate, but if you cross that thin red line, you can border into repulsive and disgusting. Learn the public display of affection laws and rules to make sure you’re on the pretty side of love etiquette.

Public display of affection etiquette and rules you need to follow

Okay, so we’ve read about the laws of public display of affection already. But if that’s not stopping you from indulging in a bit of PDA, here are 10 public display of affection rules and etiquette for everyone who indulges in public display of affection. Follow these public display of affection tips and you’ll be a happy couple who love each other. Break these and you’ll have your indecent makeout video on social media with the video titled “the horniest goats in the world!”

PDA Etiquette #1 Make it look clean and good

This is a basic step you have to understand. Always remember to make it look cute. Soft kisses are sweet. Gentle clasps and touches are romantic and loving.

Chewing each other’s faces off in public is disgusting. And grabbing body parts like you’re trying to make pizza dough is gross.

PDA Etiquette #2 Stop when it’s uncomfortable

No, not for you. For the people around you! You may enjoy a bout of wetting each other in public, but does the public want to see your public display of affection? Most displaying couples don’t care a hoot about what people around think, and that’s just so wrong.

You don’t let someone else indulge in disgusting activities in your bedroom, so why should people be tolerant of you in public? To be on the nice side, if you see others squirming around you, perhaps it’s time to find a room.

PDA Etiquette #3 Kissing tops the list

If you’re indulging in a bit of heavy petting in public, always remember that kissing tops the list. You can hover your hands around each other, but be nice. Don’t try to reach out for your partner’s tonsils though, and it will be acceptable.

PDA Etiquette #4 Don’t bite. Don’t lick.

Now, we’ve talk about this earlier, but this is a reminder again. Just because public display of affection etiquette allows you to kiss doesn’t mean you’re allowed to bite and lick. Nibbling each other’s ears and rolling your eyes back in ecstasy like your suffering from epilepsy is a complete no-no.

PDA Etiquette #5 Don’t flash skin

We’ve watched many movies to see that a little bit of midriff or a splash of cleavage when the guy and the girl kiss in the final scene makes it look sexy. But that’s why they call it the movies. It really doesn’t look pretty in real life. It looks like you’re making a porno movie! Not cool!

PDA Etiquette #6 Don’t use PDA to seduce someone else

Many women *and men* love doing this, and it’s just wrong. They make out with some guy at a party hoping to get another guy’s attention. Girls, sleeping with one guy only to want to sleep with another guy the next night doesn’t make you more desirable *dramatic ooooh!*.

PDA Etiquette #7 Watch who’s around

This is a big one and you may get arrested if you don’t follow this. Always take a good look around and see if you’re in the midst of people who accept public display of affection, no kids or old folk. Kids will find it repulsive and old folk will want to beat you with their stick. But in either case, learn to respect people around you and their feelings, and your public display of affection will be accepted.

PDA Etiquette #8 Don’t touch someone else

Now this is a big one in those parties and concerts. Or in a cramped car. Okay, you’re horny, we get it. But if you’re in a cramped space, stop running your arms around everyone else! It’s not sexy, and the person you’re sitting next to may find it repulsive.

PDA Etiquette #9 Stay away from the sweaty places

Don’t go too far and start slipping your hands into each other’s sweaty places in public. I know the urge to get hot and start petting little Chihuahuas and pussies are irresistible, but for the sake of public display of affection etiquette, go find a damn room!

PDA Etiquette #10 Try not to get labeled

Public display of affection is exciting, but it can also project your image in wrong light. You may get a bad reputation or worse, be stereotyped as one of those “easy” people *gasp* because you just don’t know where to draw the line or when to stop. You don’t want that, do you?

If you’re inside a room, you can go from a simple kiss on the lips to groping each other like high-speed security, all the way to coiling and uncoiling and exchanging body fluids of all sorts. But if you’re out in public, just hold on for a few more minutes, calm your racing mind and find a room. It’s right around the corner, we promise!

Follow these simple rules of public display of affection etiquette, and you can heave a sigh of affection when there’s no one around, and everyone else around you can heave a sigh of relief!

It’s safe to say that you’re now an expert on everything PDA-related. It’s time to turn to you and ask, what do you think about PDA? Do you like showing PDA? Do you like seeing couples show PDA?

The post What is PDA in a Relationship? The Full Guide to Every Aspect of It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The 50 Best Free Date Ideas When You Want Romance On A Budget

Dating can be great, but when you’re struggling to pay your bills it can be stressful, here are the best free date ideas to make dating amazingly fun.

Coming up with free date ideas certainly puts a limit on your options, but don’t get discouraged. Dating on a budget is completely possible. You don’t need to impress a date with flowers and fancy dinners. In fact, putting thought and effort into creative date ideas shows your ability to be both romantic and practical. And as the adage goes, sometimes, the best things in the world are totally free!

Free date ideas may not be what you see as romantic in movies, but they can be some of the most fun. And not worrying about your card being declined will make you feel a whole lot more relaxed on the date, which is the point, right?

[Read: 13 things every girl wishes for on a perfect date]

A date shouldn’t be about how much money you can spend, but how good of a time you have. Money is important in life, but it doesn’t have to manage your dating life.

Let’s be honest, these days, you can buy a lot of things with money. But when you think about it, the best memories and gestures you always remember on a date aren’t because someone lavished you with something exorbitantly expensive, but because of the warm gestures and little details they put into planning the date.

[Read: How to have a great first date – 15 things you need to do that’ll impress your date every time]

The best free date ideas that are sure to impress your date

Whether you’re sharing a weekly date night with your partner, or are going on a first date with someone you barely know, these free date ideas are memorable, fun, and financial worry-free.

#1 Go for a walk. Get outside and get some exercise. Walk through your neighborhood, a park, or anywhere else. Even go for a hike if you’re both up for it. Just remember to stay hydrated and wear SPF.

#2 Go on a picnic. Use food you already have, make a salad, some sandwiches, and bring some sparkling apple cider. Lay down a blanket on the grass and enjoy your food in nature. Just remember to clean up after yourselves. [Read: The 20 best and worst venues for romantic picnic ideas]

#3 Research local events. Colleges, towns, and cities often put on free concerts, movie screenings, and more at local parks. Research what’s going on in your area and pick something you’re both interested in.

#4 Try camping. Whether you’re a camping expert or amateur, a day camping trip is one of the best free date ideas that’ll help both of you bond better. Make some s’mores, set up a tent, or just lay some sleeping bags in the back of the car.

#5 Be kids again. Act like the floor is lava and make your way from the front door to the bedroom without touching the floor. This is a lot more fun than it sounds.

#6 Movie night. Going to the movies is wildly overpriced, but streaming a movie at home with the lights down with microwave popcorn and sweets is a free date idea that’s just as atmospheric without the price tag. [Read: 30 fun things for couples to do at home with zero boredom involved]

#7 Go to a museum. Museums and art galleries are often free to enter. Explore culture and history together. Learn something new.

#8 Volunteer. Volunteer together at a soup kitchen, organize donations, or even volunteer at an animal shelter. Scooping litter boxes may not be romantic but it will bond you.

#9 Go for a bike ride. Exercise is a great way to come together. You get to enjoy the fresh air and get healthy, but can also add a bit of competition to the mix.

#10 Babysit or petsit. Have a friend that needs a night out? Offer to babysit their child or pet together. This free date ideas is seriously way more fun than it sounds!

#11 Play board games. Play new games like Cards Against Humanity or go old school with Scrabble and Monopoly. [Read: 15 really fun conversation games that’ll leave both of you laughing hard]

#12 Be competitive. For a free date idea with a competitive twist, pick a sport and go to your local park and compete. Try basketball, tennis, or anything else you enjoy. Be sure to have a prize for the winner.

#13 Cooking competition. Set a timer and get cooking. See who can make the best meal in 30 minutes or less. Use the same ingredients and see who comes up with the best meal. Or have a simple grilled cheese cook-off.

#14 Go to the beach. In most states, the beach is free. Go for a swim, walk along the shore, search for shells and sea glass, or play volleyball. [Read: 21 interesting questions for a few relationship to build the bond early]

#15 Teach each other something. Teach your date some chords on the guitar. Teach them some photography techniques. Have them teach you how to bake something or fold origami. Learning new things together bonds you through patience.

#16 Draw each other. Whether you’re a decent artist or not, this is sure to be a fun, free date idea. Take your time to do a real recreation or do something funny and abstract.

#17 Window shopping. Walk through the town center, the mall, or anywhere else and just talk about what you see. You can do this at a fancy jewelry store, a car dealership, or an antique shop. [Read: 20 interesting things for couples to do to get out of the relationship routine]

#18 People watching. This is one of my favorite free date ideas and pastime too! Just sitting on a bench in a park or in the mall and watching people interact with each other. See how many people are glued to their phones. Imagine what their names are, what they do for a living, and what they’re talking about.

#19 Taste test. Cook for each other, blindfold each other and see if you can guess the concoction. If neither of you is a good cook, you can do the same with snacks.

#20 Take online quizzes. Go to Buzzfeed and take endless online quizzes. See if you’re compatible. See what sort of pasta you are. See which ‘90s hunk you’re most like and have fun.

#21 Go to an open house. Not only do open houses usually have a decent selection of finger foods, but you can pretend to be a married couple looking to buy!

#22 Find local factory tours. Research local factories in your area and see if they offer free tours. You can check out FactoryToursUSA to see what there is in your location. You can call and find as many don’t advertise this but they usually offer free samples too.

#23 Clean out your closets together. This may be one of the better free date ideas for an established couple, but hey, if you want to clean out your closet with someone you just met, don’t let me stop you. Try on some embarrassing outfits. See what you should toss, donate, or maybe sell for some extra cash for your next date. [Read: 23 quarantine approved activities to have fun while staying safe]

#24 Do a photoshoot. Head to a cool local spot and do a photoshoot. Take cool artsy shots of each other and set a timer for some couple shots. You could leave this date with your new favorite photo.

#25 Set a world record. Look up some attainable world records to set and try to set one together. Just be sure to record it if you want it to be official.

#26 Explore without GPS. Take a drive without your GPS. Just follow the road or something that seems interesting. You can always turn it on if you actually get lost.

#27 Do a scavenger hunt. You can find some remade ideas online or make your own. Set up a list of things you have to do or see in your area and accomplish them together. It can be anything from finding two Starbucks to using a public restroom or finding a penny. This is also a great double date idea so you can compete. [Read: The best double date ideas and why every couple needs to have double dates]

#28 Build a sandcastle or a snowman. Depending on the weather and where you live, you can do either one. Make it a competition and ask strangers to judge or send photos of your masterpieces to friends so they can vote.

#29 Go somewhere haunted. Almost every town has some haunted street, house, or location. Search one near you and head there with your date. You’d be surprised how much adrenaline this free date idea can induce, even if you don’t believe in ghosts.

#30 Have a spa night. Give each other massages, do face masks, play some calming music, and see where that deep relaxation takes you. [Read: 13 sensual massage moves and techniques that’ll leave anyone wanting a lot more!]

#31 Go to a library.  I know this date idea seems dull, but hear me out. When was the last time you went to an actual library? Check out the kid’s section and see if they have your favorite childhood book. Do they still have VCR tapes to rent? Maybe even do a quiet scavenger hunt there.

#32 Go to a thrift store. Check out your local thrift store. You don’t have to buy anything, just see what they have to offer. I’m sure you’ll discover plenty of fun and bizarre things together. Even do a hilarious photo montage in the dressing room.

#33 Build a fort. Get comfy at home and build a fort, like you did as kids. Toss some blankets over chairs, put the couch cushions on the floor and watch a movie. [Read: 25 really romantic ideas that will definitely make your lover melt!]

#34 Bury a time capsule. This would be hard to do for a first date unless you went to dinner and you could include the receipt, I guess, but if you’re a committed couple, this is so fun.

 Make a time capsule of things that are important to you now; like photos, maybe your favorite shirt your partner shrunk in the dryer, and a destroyed dog toy your furbaby loved. Agree to dig it up in 5, 10, or even 20 years.

#35 Run errands. I know this free date idea can seem dumb, but I actually think this can calm your nerves for a date and help you really get to see how you mesh together on a daily basis. Go drop stuff at the post office, pick up groceries, or finally return that awful Christmas present.

Do you like each other when you’re doing mundane activities? Does being with them make boring stuff like this more fun? [Read: How to get closer to someone – 15 traits that bring people closer]

#36 Get free paint samples and make a feature wall. Many hardware stores offer a free small can of paint. Go pick a color, come home, and paint a feature wall together.

#37 Try out the massage chairs at the mall. Head to your local electronics store and relax in the massage chairs. Try out the memory foam bed, mess with the fancy stereo on display and live like pretend kings for an afternoon.

#38 Do a photoshoot challenge. This is so fun! Head to a local bodega, a craft supply store, or anywhere bizarre and take some amazing posed photos. Go to the fake flower section and pose in the plants. Take photos of each other in the cold beverage section of a convenience store and see where your creativity takes you. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]

#39 Show each other funny videos. Show each other your favorite YouTube videos. This could be a recent love or the ones you cried laughing at in middle school.

#40 Go searching with a metal detector. This is only free if you own a metal detector or can borrow one from a friend. You may be asking them to dig up bottle caps, but offer them half your discovery and it’ll be a fun, free date idea that’ll also be memorable!

#41 Do a puzzle. I know this seems so mundane, but this is a calm activity for those who prefer a relaxing night. It also gives you an opportunity to talk and get to know each other while working together. [Read: How to get someone to open up to you so you both can really connect]

#42 Go sledding. If you have snow in your area or can drive to the mountains, go sledding. This is way more fun than you remember it being and if you wipe out and happen to catch it on camera, your date could be on the news!

#43 Carve your initials into something. Carve your initials into a tree or park bench, so that you can come back and remember how happy you were on this day.

#44 Find local yard sales. Check out local garage or yard sales in your area and see what sort of weird stuff people are trying to sell. You may not go into the date planning to spend money, but you never know what treasure you’ll discover. You’ll also get to see your date’s haggling skills.

#45 Go to the mall. A mall date was the coolest back in middle school. Getting free samples at the food court, trying on clothes you can’t afford, and giggling through Spencer’s gifts doesn’t have to be a memory. Relive those glory days now. [Read: How long should a date last? Your guide to timing it right]

#46 Do some gardening. Again, this is one of those free date ideas for those who don’t mind getting a little dirty. Prune some bushes, pull some weeds, and even plant some flowers or start a garden together. Creating something like this together will feel so productive and rewarding.

#47 Rearrange your furniture. Remember what it was like to rearrange your bedroom as a kid? It felt like a whole new space. Do that with your date. Rearrange your bedroom or living room, and see what suits your space best.

#48 Videochat. This isn’t the most exciting but there are tons of things you can do on a videochat date that are always free. [Read: The best virtual date ideas to really get to know each other]

#49 Look at your old photos. Relive the old days by going through your albums, your school yearbooks, or your Facebook. Share the stories behind the pictures and get to know each other.

#50 Plan a fantasy date night. You may not have the funds to do something extravagant but that doesn’t mean you can’t dream. Pour some wine and plan your dream date together. Would you fly to Italy? Would you go to the fanciest restaurant in town?

[Read: 25 couple activities that’ll make you feel loved and closer than ever]

Free date ideas don’t have to be bad date ideas, in fact, they can be some of the most fun and memorable dates of your life!

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The 50 Best Free Date Ideas When You Want Romance On A Budget is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.