Seducing Women to Sex vs. Guarding Daughters from Sex

How can a seducer view sleeping with women as morally correct… while knowing he likely wouldn’t want his daughter to sleep around? A deep dive into sexual morality.

On Alek's recent piece showcasing three new sex talk gambits, a reader posted the following provocative comment:

Hello Alek.

I've noticed something about Girls Chase and the seduction community at large.

There seems to be a lot of cognitive bias and intellectual dishonesty in this space Re: "Sluts".

See, in this space we teach that women are human beings just like men and should therefore be free to engage in sex freely w/o judgement.

Additionally, the concept of "high body count" is a non issue to us "lovers" unless seeking an LTR.

However, the facts show that "most" women are NOT in fact built for casual sex. Most high n count women either have personality disorders, histories of child abuse, poor impulse control or high sex drives.

For the most part women barter sex for relationships and constant hookups for the average chick without committment damages her psyche. That's why FWB chicks sometimes get jaded and tired of empty sex.

Here's a thought, if women like sex so much, why cant they hold down an FWB arrangemnt in perpetuity like men would prefer?

Chase has also countered the argument that older seducers do not corrupt younger girls by fucking them young 18/19yo) because women have agency and can think for themselves.

Yet we also go on to say that women are cute little smurfs who need guidance and direction. They aren't the best decision makers particularly when young.

In short all these axioms we have here seem to be rationalisations for "lovers" to be able to fuck girls without suffering from guilt.

And one way I can prove this is to request an article titled "A Letter to my 18yo Daughter" or sth along these lines giving her advice on how to manouver sexual relations as she goes off to start her first year in college.

Would you still tell your daughter that its okay to fuck a smooth talking guy on the first date if she feels the vibe?

Would you still tell her that body count is a social construct used by prudes and puritans? One nightstands are perfectly okay.

Would you still allow her to be fucked by older dudes (30s) while in her first year of college because older man + younger chick is a completely normal thing to do?

I find it hard hard to fully embody the lover archetype because it frequently clashes with the patriach archetype inside me who thinks he might have a daughter one day.

And I understand that this site does not give womens advice because it is a mens site for MEN but in this case saying that might be an easy cop out from addressing the disingenious nature of the things we teach here Re: Women and Sex

Is it possible to be a lover and a patriach without experiencing cognitive dissonance?

Trillion Dollar Question.

I love this question, and I'd love to answer it... so, while it may be addressed to Alek, I'd like to weigh in with my thoughts on it too.

25 Subtle Relationship Turn Offs that Provoke & Push a Couple Apart

Relationships can be blissful, but they can also be difficult. Here are 25 relationship turn offs that can ruin your relationship if you aren’t careful.

You may think you’re in a truly happy relationship, but do you ever get disappointed by your partner’s behavior now and then? If so, you already know some of the relationship turn offs that matter more than others.

Sometimes, even the most loving partner may subconsciously behave in a certain way or say a few things that can hurt their lover.

If it’s just a rare occurrence, you could overlook it. But what if it’s something you notice all the time?

Relationships don’t always fall apart because lovers cheat on each other or argue until one of them packs their bags and leaves. The truth is, couples almost always fall apart because of disappointments and resentments – and these come well before anything drastic happens.

[Read: 12 reasons why so many couples drift apart from each other over time]

Relationship turn offs that can hurt romance

Every time you put up with something that hurts you, you’re only digging a hole in your relationship. Remember, if your partner truly loves you, they may not want to hurt you intentionally.

Sometimes, a few of the hurtful things they do may be subconscious and something they don’t realize themselves.

You don’t need to always confront your partner about it, or sulk and yell at them. At times, all they need is a little nudge to realize their mistakes, so they can correct it themselves. [Read: The 80/20 rule in relationships and how it can change your love life forever]

25 relationship turn offs that can ruin your romance

Here are 25 relationship turn offs that you need to keep an eye on. If you’re indulging in any of these turn offs *even if it’s only subconsciously*, it probably means you need to do some soul searching and ask yourself if you truly respect and love your partner.

And on the other hand, if you see these signs in your partner, rather than just put up with it, talk to them about it and tell them how you feel about this kind of behavior. [Read: Top 20 reasons for divorce that most couples overlook]

After all, your silence won’t help your partner realize that their subtle behavior is pushing both of you apart, just a little with each passing day. [Read: A step-by-step guide to rekindle the spark in a relationship]

1. Insecurity and jealousy

Does your partner make you feel insecure by giving someone else more attention or by flirting with them outrageously while you stand next to them shuffling your foot in painful embarrassment?

Insecurity and jealousy is one of the biggest reasons for egos and anger to creep into the relationship. [Read: Girlfriend flirts with other guys? Signs, reasons and how to deal with it]

2. Bad mouthing

Insulting a partner’s parents or their family is so common that almost all couples indulge in a bit of accusation and bad mouthing now and then.

But there’s a difference between pointing out a person’s flaw and blatantly insulting them for it, don’t you think?

3. Boundary issues

Do you give your partner the space they want, whether they ask for it or not? Not understanding where to give space in a relationship is a big relationship turn off.

Don’t constantly try to make yourself feel involved in your partner’s life even when they want to do something by themselves. [Read: How to give space the right way in a relationship]

4. Withholding sex

This is something partners use when they’re angry or upset, and it is one of the major relationship turn offs. They pretend like everything’s okay, and yet, they push their partner away or avoid having sex.

If you’re indulging in something like this, you may believe you have a right to avoid sex if you don’t feel like having it.

But really, are you avoiding sex because you don’t feel like having sex, or is it because you’re upset and want to hurt your partner using subtle manipulation? And if you’re upset, isn’t it so much better to just tell your partner what’s on your mind instead of using sex as a tool to hurt them? [Read: The harsh truths you need to know when you use sex as a weapon]

5. Compromises

You don’t like compromising for your partner, or even if you do compromise for them, you do so with a disgruntled expression stuck on your face.

And yet, you expect your partner to always compromise for your sake no matter what you ask of them. [Read: How to compromise in a relationship and not feel like you lost out]

6. The third opinion

Do you really take your partner’s advice, or do you just ignore it and place more value on a third person’s opinions?

If you give more importance to someone else’s opinion and care less about your own lover’s opinions, even if it’s a decision that directly impacts your relationship, it only shows that you don’t respect your partner and think less of them. [Read: 15 signs of a lack of respect in a relationship you should never ignore]

7. Bad listeners

Do you listen to your partner while talking to them, or are you only focused on getting your point across? Do you constantly say “what did you say?” to your partner each time they’re trying to say something to you?

Bad listening habits in a relationship will definitely infuriate your partner or make them feel unheard and neglected. And someday, this turn off will push both of you away from each other.

8. Cruel ego boosts

Have you ever complimented someone else in public in front of your partner, while completely ignoring to compliment your own partner for doing the same thing?

Putting your partner down and hurting them subtly in public can give you an ego boost, but it’ll also cost you your relationship over time. [Read: Why people take you for granted – 16 signs and firm ways to stop them]

9. Silent treatment

Don’t ignore your partner or give them the silent treatment by not talking to them just because they say something hurtful in a conversation.

It’ll make your partner hate you for walking away from the conversation, and they’ll stop being truthful to you or trying to communicate with you because they know you don’t like hearing the truth. [Read: How to perfect the silent treatment in a relationship and use it well]

10. Pushy behavior

Don’t constantly force your partner to do things your way because you think your way is the only way to do something.

It may seem like a petty issue, but your constant pushiness may force your partner to turn rebellious and do things just to oppose you and hurt you, so they can get their independence back from you.

11. You think you’re too good

This is something you need to ask yourself, because no one else can answer this for you. Do you always take your partner’s opinions into consideration each time you need to make decisions? Or do you secretly believe *somewhere in the back of your mind* that you’re awesome and your partner is just too dumb to offer any insightful advice to you?

No one but you may know this answer, but if you think your partner isn’t smart, your condescending behavior towards them may give away the disdain you have for them. [Read: 24 sad signs of an unhealthy relationship that’ll ruin love forever]

12. Cutting conversations

Do you ever cut your partner across when they’re trying to make a point? Or if your partner is trying to explain something to you at a store, and someone else *like a pushy store salesman* interferes to explain the same thing to you, do you look away from your partner and continue the conversation with this new person who interrupted the both of you?

It’s a clear sign that you subconsciously don’t value your partner or think they have anything important to say.

13. Anger issues

One of the biggest relationship turn offs is when you direct all your rage and anger at your partner, even when they do nothing wrong.

You may be pissed off with the world, but you still direct all that anger towards your partner and treat them like a punching bag because you don’t have the nerve to confront the world or direct the anger at the people who actually hurt you. [Read: Relationship arguments and 27 do’s and don’ts to remember]

14. Big sacrifices

Do you behave like making time for your partner is such a big sacrifice? When your partner asks you to spend some time with them, do you get annoyed or behave like sparing time for your loved ones is a luxury you can’t afford?

Careful here, because your partner may not be around for too long if you treat them so disrespectfully! [Read: 19 signs you’re a very selfish lover in the relationship]

15. Letting yourself go

So, you’ve hooked yourself a sexy fish and you have that ring on your finger. You’re all happy and life is bliss. But now that you’re in a stable relationship, have you let yourself go and piled on several pounds, or have you started dressing down and leaving it all unshaved and unkempt?

Don’t take your partner for granted and expect them to always stay crazily in love with you and lust for you when you don’t make the effort to look and feel your best for them.

16. Selfishness

Selfishness is a relationship turn off that’s one of the worst traits in a partner. Do you always look for the better deal or an advantage in your relationship?

It could be as small as eyeing the larger slice of pizza, or as big as hoarding all the money in your own bank account while emptying your partner’s account dry.

But this behavior of yours would definitely make your partner see through your intentions and distrust you very soon. [Read: How to recognize and stop a selfish person from hurting you]

17. Manipulative and controlling behavior

For a person who is unable to directly confront their partner over an issue, it’s always easier to resort to emotional manipulation and subtle controlling behavior.

You may think it’s the easiest way to control your partner, but once they realize just how deviously you’ve manipulated them to lose their own self, they’ll leave you and never look back even if you beg them to take you back. [Read: 16 tips to change your partner’s controlling behavior]

18. Taking kindness for granted

In love, both partners are expected to love each other unconditionally and be completely giving towards each other. But if you hold yourself back and take your partner’s kindness and love for granted, you’d be hurting them each time you use them to get what you want. [Read: 16 reasons why you’re being taken for granted by everyone]

And soon, your partner may start getting wary and they too may stop loving you unconditionally. And eventually, all there would be in the relationship are two people who don’t trust each other, and are constantly competing to get the better deal. Is that even love anymore?

19. Laziness

Sure, it’s fun to be a bum and lay around on the couch watching TV sometimes. But when it becomes a habit, then your partner will probably get disgusted and start resenting you.

Being lazy is not a good quality to have, especially if your partner is the one who is doing everything for you. If you see them cooking, cleaning, and doing everything while you are just staring at your phone or playing video games 24/7, it’s time to stop doing that.

And laziness doesn’t just apply to housework. You can get lazy in the relationship too. If you stop doing romantic things, having date night, or paying attention to your partner, that is one of the big relationship turn offs too. Your partner might as well be single if you aren’t going to put any effort into the relationship. [Read: Turn offs for women – 25 things guys do that girls absolutely hate]

20. Bad hygiene

It should be obvious that you should take a shower and keep your overall hygiene good. But sadly, many people get really lazy in this category too. It might be convenient to just lay around and never bathe yourself, but not only do you end up stinking, it’s just gross.

And guys, if you have a beard, for crying out loud keep it trimmed! You might think a long bushy beard is cool, but your partner might not. It is kind of a trap for a lot of bacteria and other gross things. So, don’t turn into a skunk… stay smelling and looking clean for your partner!

If you don’t, don’t expect them to want to sleep with you. [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]

21. Not enough time spent together

Just because you are in the same house or the same room, that doesn’t really count as “spending time together.” Sure, you’re in each other’s physical presence, but unless you are interacting and/or doing something meaningful with your partner, it hardly counts.

When a couple doesn’t spend quality time together, it can be a huge relationship turn off. The only way two people can stay connected is to really bond through conversation and activities. If you don’t do this, you will inevitably drift apart.

22. No affection

Everyone has their levels of comfort and need with affection. Some people are very touchy-feely and love hugs, while others don’t need that.

However, a relationship should have some level of affection. After all, isn’t that what romance is all about?

So, you have to compromise on this. If one of you wants a lot of hand-holding and cuddling and the other doesn’t, that can be a huge turn off for both of you. Understand each other’s needs and try to meet in the middle. Because why bother having a romance without affection? You might as well just be friends. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad boyfriend and you should leave ASAP]

23. Sexual neglect

There is a stereotype that all men are horny all the time. But that’s not necessarily true of all men. In fact, sometimes, the woman has a higher sex drive than the man. Regardless, sexual intimacy is really important to a quality relationship.

So, if one or both of you are neglecting your partner sexually, that is a major turn off. If it’s one-sided, the person with the higher sex drive can be resentful. And this is one of the major relationship turn offs. [Read: 18 foundations of a relationship that separate the good and the bad]

24. Cheating

Everyone knows that cheating is wrong, and so that’s why it’s a major relationship turn off. But what exactly constitutes cheating? In the old days, it just counted as sexual relations with a person who is not your partner.

But in the technological age, there are many different ways to cheat. From simply texting people of the opposite sex to secretly being on dating apps to boost your ego, there are many forms of cheating. And how can you have a good relationship when one person has one foot out the door? You can’t. [Read: Micro cheating – What it is and signs you’re unintentionally doing it]

25. Constant fighting and drama

You can’t have a happy relationship if you are constantly fighting. Conflict in and of itself isn’t necessarily bad. In fact, it’s normal to have disagreements. But you have to handle them in a calm, rational way.

So, if you are constantly screaming at each other and there is a lot of drama, that is a huge relationship turn off for most people. Who wants all of that turmoil? It’s no fun to live like that.

[Read: The secrets to having a good relationship that gets better with each new day]

These relationship turn offs could seem trivial now, but if you’re indulging in any of these turn offs, you may find yourself a perfect partner today, but you’ll always find yourself in unhappy relationships over time, until you truly decide to change yourself for the better.

The post 25 Subtle Relationship Turn Offs that Provoke & Push a Couple Apart is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Damsel in Distress: Why Men Find Women Who Ask For Help Irresistible

There’s something about a helpless girl that men can’t resist. But why is that and how can you use this? Find out why men love a damsel in distress.

Most women hate a damsel in distress.

Men on the other hand, can’t help falling for damsels in distress. For men, it’s just inevitable.

Every time a man sees a pretty lass who needs help, a slob of a man turns into a chivalrous knight in shining armor. Well, at least until he’s made enough of an impression to make her fall for him.

While much of the courting game of dating and falling in love depends on mutual attraction, there’s another secret force that most men and women don’t think about – the evaluation of desirability.

Do you desire a guy or does he desire you? How badly do you want to go out with this person?

Answering these questions yourself will help you understand and evaluate someone you meet as a potential date.

[Read: White Knight syndrome – 15 signs and reasons why men want to be one]

History of a damsel in distress

Throughout history, the idea of a damsel in distress is a narrative that says that a man *or men* should rescue a woman who is in trouble or perhaps even kidnapped. This leads to the concept of the “Knight in Shining Armor” who sweeps the woman off her feet.

The themes in these stories through the years are always ones of kinship, love, or lust. These things give the man the motivation and compulsion to become the hero of the narrative.

The woman may even be competent, but she still finds herself in a stressful, dangerous situation in which she must be rescued by a man. Thus, there is a sense of helplessness to these women. This leads to the sense that a man needs to take care of a woman because she can’t do it herself. [Read: 14 strongest feminine traits and where women fall on this spectrum]

Throughout the evolution of the damsel in distress stories in history, the “attacker” of the woman has many different faces. For example, they have been described as monsters, mad scientists, Nazis, aliens, robots, or any other vicious man or group.

In the end of all of these types of stories, the man “gets” the woman as a “reward.” So, the woman is, in essence, a type of trophy for her hero and savior.

Damsel in distress stories in the modern world

If you are looking for how the damsel in distress narrative has been pushed on us in the modern world, look no further than Disney movies, romantic comedies, and a million fantasy books catering to women. [Read: Dominant girlfriend – the pros and cons of dating a woman in control]

Just take the classics – Cinderella and Snow White. Both of them are in need of rescuing, and the handsome princes come to save them. So many people around the world have grown up with these movies, and it instills an ideal in both girls and boys when they are young.

You also can look at a lot of romantic comedy movies as well. The classic movie Pretty Woman is a prime example. Julia Roberts plays a prostitute who is hired by Richard Gere *who is playing a billionaire*.

He hires her for her companionship for the week, and ends up falling in love with her. In the last scene, he arrives in a white stretch limo to save her from her life as a prostitute. [Read: What is masculinity? 19 really manly traits women hope to see in you]

This is analogous to a white horse in the Disney movies. And he pulls down her fire escape and climbs up to save her, much like princes do when they climb up a castle to save a princess.

As you can see, the damsel in distress narrative has been something that both males and females have been exposed to our whole lives. So, it’s not surprising that men would actually like to become a damsel in distress’ savior in the modern world.

Why men love a damsel in distress

While courting, women like to be treated with care and respect. Men like to be treated like men.

When either sex experiences these emotions while spending time with a particular member of the opposite sex, they end up inevitably desiring the person even if there isn’t any mutual attraction to begin with.

Understand this little truth and the whole case of the damsel in distress will start to make sense to anyone. [Read: How to attract men – The irresistible secrets no one ever talks about]

1. Damsels in distress make a man feel like a real man

Throughout evolution, men have always been the protectors. Recent decades may have subdued a man and his protective streak, but his urge to be the defender and the protector of all things good still gives him a rush like no other. [Read: Masculine traits – 21 healthy and unhealthy manly characteristics]

Why else do you think men love playing fantasy video games where they play the lead character? It makes them feel good. In the real world, this guy may be a nobody, but in his fantasy video game, he’s the invincible protector and the adventurer, the knight who saves damsels and beds them *in hundreds*, and the main character who’s desired by every woman!

And just like that, in the real world, when a man sees a woman who needs help, he instinctively feels the urge to help her – not for her sake, but for his own, as in that brief moment, he feels like a hero!

2. Damsels are easily approachable

Men approach women almost all the time in the dating field. When a man finds a situation where a woman needs help, he understands two things.

One, he instinctively wants to help her. And secondly, she’s going to be easily approachable and perhaps even grateful for his help. And all men love women who are easily approachable. [Read: Why men like the chase and how to use this in your favor as a woman]

3. A man’s ego swells when he helps a girl

When a man helps a woman, shows off his brute strength to her, and gets thanked for it, he feels good about the whole thing.

He feels more powerful and happy, knowing that he was able to impress a woman with his macho abilities. And when a man feels good about himself, he’ll obviously be drawn to the damsel in distress who helped him feel better about himself.

4. Men stay longer in a relationship when they feel like men

Most men like to wear the pants in the relationship. And even if they don’t wear the pants, they want to feel like they do. With their epic egos and innate trait to protect, they want to feel like they are the driving force of the relationship.

When a man is in a relationship with a woman who behaves like she needs his protection and help, he’s always on guard when he’s with her. He instinctively becomes protective and feels more like a man. [Read: How to stroke the male ego and uncover his alpha side when he’s down]

Being in a relationship with a woman who wants him and needs him is every man’s fantasy. He feels like a demigod, he puts on his best behavior, and everyone wins.

But at the same time, there’s a thin line between needing a man and being needy. Get this wrong, and you could do more damage to the relationship than good. [Read: 21 signs of a clingy girlfriend and how to avoid turning into one]

5. It’s biology

Back in the caveman days, men had to go out and hunt the animals and drag them back to camp for the family to eat. If they didn’t do that, then everyone would starve. So, you see, men like to be this “savior.”

Women are biologically wired for caring for children and other people. They are nurturing and loving. As a cavewoman, she relied on the caveman to feed her and her children. Not only that, but she also expected him to protect them from danger. [Read: How to be the man in the relationship and achieve true manliness]

Even though we aren’t living in the caveman days anymore, our brains and biology have not evolved that far since then. We are still wired for survival, and therefore, women still want and expect men to protect them. And men want to protect women. Thus, that’s another reason men like a damsel in distress.

6. A damsel in distress is low-maintenance

Men like to be dominant – it’s another thing that is biologically programmed into them. And because of that, women tend to be more submissive. This is somewhat of a stereotype these days, but in history, this was true almost all of the time.

When a woman lets a man do what he wants without arguing with him *being submissive*, the man kind of likes it. He doesn’t have to answer to her. She requires very little from him in terms of giving her what she needs or wants. [Read: Feminine wiles – 15 ways to release your inner vixen and hook any man]

If this sounds selfish, that’s because it is. Some men like doing whatever they want, whenever they want. And if he was with a dominant woman, she would not allow him to do that. But with a damsel in distress, she will let him be the “man” in the relationship and make all the rules. And she will follow them *even if this setup is extremely unfair*.

How to be a damsel in distress but not needy

It’s easy to be the woman that you are, and yet make your man feel like a real man. All without ever being taken for granted or stepped over by a man.

Just use these tips, and you’ll definitely make him appreciate you and feel great about himself. [Read: How to flirt with a guy subtly without really flirting at all]

Remember that men love an independent woman. But they feel terrible about themselves when their woman doesn’t need them at all. You may be perfectly capable of handling everything in your life, but ask a man for a manly helping hand now and then and he’ll feel great about it *and 10 inches taller as well!*.

1. Ask him to help you in a man’s job

Are you having trouble carrying something heavy? Do you need help fixing a car, or perhaps a door hinge? Or are you feeling nervous to walk down the street after dusk? Ask a man for help.

A man likes helping a woman when he feels like he’s doing a superior job. Make him assume there’s no way you could ever have made it through without his help and his ego will swell!

He’ll definitely feel more like a man around you. And yes, he’ll desire you just for making him feel that way! [Read: How to be feminine and reveal the softer girly personality in you]

2. Thank him and don’t forget that flirty smile

While men absolutely love helping a woman in need, they are put off by women who can’t be grateful for it. If you ask a guy to help you, but don’t really show your appreciation, he may just avoid helping you or may even ignore you. No one likes being taken for granted, especially a man.

Always thank a man and compliment him when he helps you. Complimenting a man with a flirty smile and a twinkle in your eyes will definitely make his heart skip a beat. And he’ll be more than happy to help you out again. [Read: How to compliment a guy subtly and 23 ways to get him to crush on you]

3. Show off your independence

If you’re dating a guy, don’t play the damsel in distress all the time. This is very important!

Ask him for some manly help when he’s around. But when he isn’t with you, don’t call him over and ask him to help you out unless you really do need his help.

By letting him know that you’re completely capable of running your own life effortlessly without his help, he’d respect you more.

A man always loves an independent woman who doesn’t need him, but wants him. [Read: How to think like a man and impress him]

4. Drawing the line

Ask him for his help and assistance with the manly jobs, but do it only occasionally. He may love a damsel in distress, but he definitely doesn’t need an overdose of machismo. If he sees you carrying something heavy with difficulty and immediately jumps up to help you, he’s still happy with the damsel in distress in you.

But if he doesn’t budge to help you, he’s either a slob or you’ve been asking him too many favors recently. Asking a man too many favors can disgruntle him. So always remember the thin line. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]

Here’s the most important tip of all – Play the damsel in distress and make him feel like a man, and he’ll love you for it. Play needy and make him feel like your slave, and he’ll hate you for it.

[Read: What men find attractive in women – 18 secrets most women overlook]

And now that you know why men love a damsel in distress, go on and make some guy’s day. You’ll get the manly help you need, and he’ll feel like an alpha. And somewhere along the way, he’ll start to fall in love with you too!

The post Damsel in Distress: Why Men Find Women Who Ask For Help Irresistible is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Can a Girl Ask a Guy Out Before He Asks Her Out?

You have probably been wondering, can a girl ask a guy out? It’s a complicated question, and we have some important things you should think about first.

If you’re wondering whether a girl can ask a guy out, of course, she can. But there are a few things to remember before you take the plunge.

It’s natural to like a guy. And it’s natural to want to ask a guy out. And it’s easy.

But you shouldn’t do it unless you have no other alternative.

[Read: How guys fall in love and the 7 seven stages of love for men]

Most guys say they’re completely fine with it when a girl asks a guy out. Some guys even say they prefer it because it takes the pressure off of asking a girl out.

But ask us, and we’ll tell you the answer. You shouldn’t generally do it. Now we’re not being uptight or prejudiced about the male species and their ways. But that’s just the way stolen glances and love works.

Guys and girls are different in many ways. And especially when it comes to a relationship, great guys like a good chase. [Read: Why guys like a chase and how to make it work for you]

When you tell a guy you like him, it’s not really disappointing, but a guy would never understand how special you are. Nor would he understand how much he needs you until he doesn’t have you.

It’s too easy, like a free brochure that you get in your mailbox now and then. It goes straight to the bin. [Read: How to make him want you – 20 secrets to leave a guy smitten silly]

Can a girl ask a guy out?

If you like a guy, and want him to stick around, you need to make him like you back and desire you before you even ask him out. It’s quite pointless to walk up to a guy and tell him you like him. And the conversation’s going to sound like this.

Girl (nervous): Hi, I like you, and I was just wondering if we could go out sometime…

Boy (sheepish): Ohh, oh…kay… sweet! I would love to go out with you!!

Girl (relieved): How about we go out sometime then?

Boy (happy): Yeah, sure, how about Friday night?

And then, the girl’s happy and the boy’s happy too. And the boy goes to his friends. He learns to brag. [Read: How to ask a guy out like a classy girl and leave him wanting more]

Boy (boastful): Hey, check this out. That girl we keep bumping into, you know, the girl with the awesome boobs, she just asked me out.

Friends (in awe): Oh, yeah?! That’s hot, dude… so what are you gonna do? Lay her this weekend?

Boy (chick magnet): Ha ha ha ha… we’ll find out, won’t we…?

The boy scores, looks good in front of his friends, gets a date and a swollen ego, and thinks he’s a chick magnet. The girl may be very sweet, but he doesn’t care.

What guys think when a girl asks them out

Right now, in his mind, all he cares about is the fact that a great girl asked him out. So, he must be charming, sexy, and could get any other girl he wanted. He takes a good long look in the mirror, and realizes he really is a great guy – he’s desirable and chicks dig him!

If you really think about it, a guy isn’t chuffed because he gets to date a great girl. He’s very pleased with himself because a great girl asked him out, out of the blue. Just for a moment there, his priorities are all mixed up, and he’s valuing himself instead of valuing a potential relationship with a great girl.

All the other guys soon find out the girl asked the guy out. The girl appears needy and easy to get. The guy looks like a rock star, and now he’s alpha. [Read: Sexual market value and the 5 factors that boost a man’s SMV]

You see, it’s easy to ask a guy out. But when you do that, almost all guys lose the point. He won’t realize that a great girl asked him out, he’ll assume he’s really good and all girls will love him.

Why a girl should ask a guy out instead of waiting for him

Now, yes, so far, the idea behind waiting for a guy to do the asking out sounds very old school. But we’d like to clarify that there is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. In fact, it could very well work on your favor.

But just remember to take a step back and allow him to woo you AFTER you’ve asked him out. That makes all the difference.

And honestly, there are some advantages to asking a guy out. So, let’s start by discussing some of them before we talk more about why and how you should wait for a guy to make a move first. [Read: How to ask a guy out over text – 15 moves to get the answer you want]

1. It shows your confidence

Guys love self-confidence in girls. In fact, they find it absolutely sexy. So, when a girl asks a guy out, she seems like she is sure of herself. It shows that she is not afraid to take a chance.

Plus, she must think he is going to say yes, which shows that she thinks she is worthy of him. This is very attractive to guys.

2. Some guys are too shy to ask you out

Let’s face it – not all guys are outgoing or confident in themselves. In fact, a lot of human beings are shy and unsure.

So, maybe the guy really likes you, and you like him, but he’s just too shy or afraid of rejection to take the first step. If you want for him to do it, you might be waiting forever. So, when you ask him out, you take the pressure off of him, and he will appreciate it. [Read: How to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out]

3. He might be Mr. Right

You never know when you might meet the perfect guy for you. How else do you know if he is the one unless you ask him out?

The more people you go out with, the greater the chance that you will find “the one.” So, if you don’t ask him out, you might let Mr. Right just slip right through your fingertips.

Are you willing to live with that? [Read: How to ask a guy to hang out and make him want to even if you’re shy]

4. It’s a turn-on for guys

Going back to the fact that guys love confidence, it’s a big ego boost for guys when a girl asks them out. It makes them feel attractive and desired.

And of course, that is a turn on for anyone – especially guys. So, you will make him feel like a million dollars if a girl asks a guy out first.

5. It gives you control

There’s nothing worse than liking a guy and waiting around to see if he will ask you out. You might be talking to him for a long time. And you might even be doing a lot of flirting. But does that mean he wants to go out with you?

Ohhh…the agony of not knowing! Well, if you ask him out first, then you will be in control of the situation. No more waiting around for him to make the first move. It puts you in a power position.

6. It’s the 2020s!

Hey, this isn’t the 1800s or even the 1980s anymore. All of that is so last century! Over a hundred years ago, women didn’t even have the right to vote. And before that, they were literally the property of men – whether it was their father or their husband.

But now you don’t have to be submissive to men. You’re a modern woman in a modern world. So take advantage of it! [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 true reasons that may hold the answer]

7. You might regret not doing it

Do you want to be lying on your death bed thinking, “If only I had asked John out… maybe my life would have turned out differently!”

It’s not fun to live with “If onlys.” You want to take chances in life and never have regrets. As the saying goes, “No excuses, no regrets!” So, don’t be shy. Take a chance so you know in the future that you will not look back and wish you had asked him out.

8. No more over-analyzing

When you like someone, you are always thinking about every little detail. He said this… what does it mean? But he didn’t say that… what does it mean? He did this… what does it mean? You get the idea.

Overanalyzing everything can be exhausting because you are trying to figure out how he feels. But you won’t really know until you just ask him out.

9. You can move forward

With all the mystery, guesswork, and overanalyzing, it’s a lot of time that you have wrapped up in this guy. You are spinning your wheels wondering if he likes you.

So, if you ask him out, you will be able to move forward either way. If he says yes, you can start dating him. If he says no, then you have your answer and you can find someone else. [Read: Why won’t he ask me out? 27 reasons and how to get him to make a move]

Can a girl never ask a guy out? Why it’s better to tease instead of ask him out

Now that we’ve talked about all the good things of asking a guy out directly, you should realize that it does come with its own advantages – especially if a guy is pursued by several girls, or if he’s very shy. Now let’s talk about why a girl shouldn’t ask a guy out, and instead tease him into deisring her.

Of course, a girl can ask a guy out and the relationship may even go very far on the road of happy love. But in most cases, it doesn’t work in the girl’s favor.

Men love the idea of having women swooning over them. Why do you think James Bond is such a big player? For his well-cut suits?

While guys may feel relieved to cut straight to the chase, or in this case, even skip the chase completely, they won’t add the great girl into the equation. For a guy, that moment when you ask him out isn’t a chapter in the book of romance. It’s the first step towards realizing how sexy and desirable he is!

Guys make their own lives harder, but they like it just the way it is. Learn to play hard to get and guys, as much as they hate it, will love you for it. [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy – 20 secrets to leave him completely desiring you]

Why you shouldn’t ask a guy out

You now know why we think it’s better to wait for a guy to do the asking out *of course, you still need to make him see that you really like him!* let’s talk about a few of the reasons why making him chase you and ask you out is a better option.

1. If he wanted to ask you out, he would have

Human nature says that men are the chasers and the pursuers. And women are the pursuees. That’s just how it’s been for most of human history.

So, if he hasn’t asked you out yet, maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to. Sure, you can make excuses for him. But when something is important to someone, they go after it. [Read: Why don’t guys ask me out? 18 reasons why they don’t desire you]

2. Maybe he’s taken

Let’s say that you don’t know this guy very well. Maybe you met him in class or at work. You think he’s cute, chit-chat here and there, and you both do a little flirting.

This might seem like a green light to ask him out, but maybe he has a girlfriend or is married. If he is, it would be quite embarrassing to ask him out without knowing for sure. So, you want to ask him first if he is taken so you don’t feel dumb. [Read: 15 obvious signs he has a girlfriend and is already taken]

3. He might reject you

Taking a chance like asking a guy out might not turn out the way you want it to. Even if you think that he really does like you because he has been flirting, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

A lot of guys flirt with anyone and everyone because they think it’s fun. So, unless you are mentally and emotionally prepared for rejection, maybe you shouldn’t ask this guy out. [Read: How to ask a guy to be your boyfriend without sounding needy]

4. You could look needy

Yes, it’s kind of a contradiction, isn’t it? Earlier in the feature, we said it would make you look confident. Well, it could. But you could also come across as needy too!

It all depends on how you do it. So, if you want to ask him out because you are afraid he won’t ask you out* because he may not like you*, then that is the vibe of neediness. You don’t want to come across as chasing him, because that’s a turn-off to guys. [Read: What turns guys on? 39 emotional and physical turn ons that arouse all guys in seconds]

Confident girls and guys who love them

Now many guys may disagree with everything we’ve said and claim that they love a confident woman who has the cojones to walk up to a guy and ask him out. But this isn’t always the case.

At the end of the day, let’s face it. All a girl has to do is drop a few signs and hints. And if a guy does like her back, he’ll probably pop the question even before the girl thinks it!

It’s safer, and an easier way to get to know if a guy likes you, sans the embarrassment of a guy turning you down.

So, can a girl ask a guy out ever? There’s just one type of guy where a girl asking a guy out is the only way forward. If you’ve fallen for a cute shy guy.

These shy guys are nice, but they’re just so shy and awkward, it’s embarrassing! You can walk past them with a marching band singing “she’s in love with you” and the guy might just sniffle and try to slip behind the wallpaper. [Read: How to get a shy guy to like you and ask you out]

Should a girl ask a guy out?

Now that you know the pros, cons, and how a guy’s mind works, this is something you need to figure out for yourself.

We would suggest you drop all the right hints, tease him, flirt with him, and even hang out with him first. Chances are, if he is even remotely interested in you, he will let you know that he likes you. [Read: 33 ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him deep and hard]

On the other hand, if you’re flirting up a storm and he still seems disinterested, chances are, you’re probably in his friend zone and you need to make him see you as something more before you ask him out.

[Read: How to show a guy you like him and charm him while still being a tease]

What’s the verdict, can a girl ask a guy out? Yes, but you really have to weigh the pros and the cons before you do. And be prepared to accept whatever happens next!

The post Can a Girl Ask a Guy Out Before He Asks Her Out? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Advanced Game: 3 Qualities Elite Seducers Possess

You might see a playboy pull a beautiful girl or two. But is he advanced – or did he just get lucky? The trifecta of calibration, meet-to-lay, and consistency will tell you.

Hey guys.

Contents

I. Is Your Specialization Relevant?

1. Sub-fields

II. The Supernatural

1. How Well You Do on Bad NightsMechanisms at Play

2. Calibration

III. All About Consistency and Efficiency

IV. Conclusion

We often talk about skilled seducers. But what defines a skilled seducer? Many people post videos of famous movies scenes on forums where the protagonist is acting sexy (like James Bond) to show what perception they have of “sexiness” or “tight game.” Some tell me about their “supernatural” friend (a “natural” is someone who is naturally skilled with women) to show me what tight game is. Sometimes they share a story of themselves in field or post a lay report on the forums and comment about the amazing job they did.

The truth is, I rarely am impressed. Don’t get me wrong. I am not claiming that the James Bond smirk is not sexy or that your natural friend has no skill. Nor do I want to discredit you in your success.

If you post a cool report on the forums and I happen to read it, you will hear nothing but praise from me.

But what really constitutes an advanced-level seducer goes far beyond that. Trust me; it is not what you’d expect.

That’s why today, I’ll share what I consider advanced-level play. Many veterans feel the same way. I know because I’ve talked to them. These are just opinions, and you are welcome to disagree.

We all have different goals, and true mastery depends on what we seek to achieve. What defines success is individual. That being said, I think there are ways to become more objective with success. I will discuss that here.

I will be setting the bar quite high for what I consider advanced level. The requirements presented in this article are reachable goals.

What Is Tea Bagging? A Sexy Guide to Eat His Balls & Other Sex Acts

You just heard of this interesting new sex act – tea bagging. But what is it? And what other kinds of kinky sex acts can you do after you tried that one?

Unless you try tea bagging and are completely turned off, the next time you drink tea, you’ll have a little smirk on your face as you drop your teabag into its cup because you understand the gist of what is tea bagging.

Many people learn the hard way about what it means to tea bag someone. Because all of a sudden they have balls in their face. We know what you’re thinking, “Hold up… what?”

Tea bagging is literally when you put your partner’s balls in your mouth.

[Read: What are blue balls? A full guide to blue balls and real experiences]

Your guide to tea bagging

It’s not an official term, but, it’s in Urban Dictionary. So, it’s basically legit. Tea bagging is described, in Urban Dictionary as “a man that squats on top of a woman’s face and lowers his genitals into her mouth during sex.” We hope you enjoy that visual because we sure did.

So, now that you know what it is, perhaps, it’s sparked your curiosity. Maybe, you’d like to dabble into the world of tea bagging? Well, that’s what we’re here for! We hope your man has a strong squat game!

Don’t look too deeply into the name

Tea bagging is literally what it sounds like minus the tea bag and hot water. Don’t try to analyze the name and find some alternative meaning.

Have you dipped a tea bag into a cup of water? There you go.

It’s basically dipping his balls into your mouth, assuming you’re the one receiving the holy balls. [Read: 17 wild moves to stifle the yawn and go wild in bed]

Do you put his entire balls into your mouth?

Good question. Listen, you don’t have to shove both his balls into your mouth, you’re not going to win an award if you do it.

Firstly, do what makes you feel comfortable because if you’re not into gagging or choking on his balls, then take it easy. Let’s keep this an enjoyable experience for both of you.

Tea bagging brings the love back to the balls

Balls are usually left out of sexual activity, not necessarily on purpose, but they’re forgotten. They hide below, so, we get why they’re left out. Out of sight, out of mind.

The best way to give the balls some love is to tea bag them or suck on them. Either way, they feel included. [Read: How to give good head – The biggest guide and 50+ blowjob tips you MUST know]

Don’t take it literally

In other words, we mean the term tea bagging. You don’t actually have to bob the balls in and out of your mouth.

Well, you can do this, but you should also mix it up a bit. Use your tongue and lips to apply pressure on the balls. You can also incorporate your hands into the act as well. If your mouth gets a bit tired, well, throw in some ball juggling. Mix it up! [Read: The complete guide to saggy balls and what women think of them]

Wondering about protection

Yeah, so you can’t actually put a condom on a pair of balls. Well, you can try… not sure how that would work though.

Anyways, you need to make sure that this person understands the importance of a shower, it’s only fair. If you’re not comfortable with skin-to-skin contact, you can try to place plastic wrap over the balls or wear a dental dam. You can decide which suits you best. [Read: The top reasons why a girl would refuse to give a blowjob]

Communicate

Being tea bagged may come to a surprise to your man. Remember, we said the balls are usually forgotten. So, if you start to tea bag him, he may be pleasantly surprised.

When you start to tea bag him, make sure that you have an open line of communication. Ask him if it’s okay or just listen to the sounds he’s making and his body language. Some guys find it too ticklish, others find it too scary, etc. [Read: 10 signs he’s just not enjoying what you do in bed]

He doesn’t have to squat

This isn’t the only position he can be in when you tea bag him. You can have him lying on his back or you can get on your knees while he’s standing.

Though him squatting on your face is a good position to try out, there are other positions that work just as well. After all, watching a man’s bottom get close to your face when you’re laying in between his legs may not be the best view!

Find out which one suits you and your partner the best.

Don’t go right for the balls

This shouldn’t be the first thing you do when you’re down there. Suck his dick a bit, lick his balls a little, and then slowly go into it.

Gauge his reaction if he’s never been tea bagged before. Once you see he likes it, then you can go full beast mode on those balls. [Read: Men with big balls – The pros, cons and what women think of them]

Have a safe word

No matter what sexual activity you’re doing, you should have a safe word. It’s just better this way. When someone moans and screams, you can’t always tell it’s because they’re in pain or discomfort.

So, have a safe word that has nothing to do with sex, like, “blue cheese” or “fork.” [Read: 14 wild ways to do it right if you like it rough]

If you forget what to do, listen to Drake

If you’re not able to remember what to do, listen to Drake’s advice on tea bagging, “gentle suction.” This means, he’ll lower his balls slowly into your mouth and you just suction onto them gently. You can’t fail with this move!

Remember, balls are sensitive

We used the words “beast mode” earlier on… we should let you know that we don’t mean you should tear those balls up in a literal sense.

Balls are extremely sensitive, so don’t be too rough with them. If you want to bite them, do so ever so gently. Unless he tells you otherwise. Treat those balls like eggs. [Read: How to safely shave your public area – A full guide for men]

Other unusual sex acts to try

Now that you are all educated about what tea bagging is, we thought you might want to read about some more kinky sex acts you can try with your partner. Here are some to get you started. [Read: How to have phone sex – 26 tips to get him horny listening to you]

Warm ball dip

Since you’re obviously interested in playing with balls because you’re reading about tea bagging, this is another one you will enjoy. The guy needs to dip his balls into a cup of warm liquid. It doesn’t matter what it is.

It could be warm water, milk, tea, coffee, hot cocoa, or whatever you have around the house and sounds appealing to you. Then, the woman blows bubbles into the cup using a straw. It’s like having the balls have a session in a hot tub. Sounds relaxing, doesn’t it?

Finger blowjobs

Okay, a finger blowjob probably doesn’t sound nearly as exciting as a real one. But as the name suggests, it is reenacting a blowjob, but with his fingers instead of his dick. It’s supposed to just be a tease and a preview of what will be done to the dick later. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas to try at least once in your lifetime]

Either the guy can do it to give the girl a hint, or the girl can do it to turn the guy on before she does the real thing. Regardless, it’s a fun thing to do before you get down and dirty. It can be really hot. [Read: Ever heard of the finger blowjob? Here’s how to do it]

Clit rub with just the tip

Everyone knows that girls’ clits are extremely sensitive. That’s one of the main ways she has an orgasm, right?

So, instead of doing oral, try using the tip of the dick and rubbing it on the clit. Do it slowly, then do it fast. You can even use lube to make it more slippery and exciting. [Read: Just the tip sex – Why guys love this excuse and how girls always fall for it]

Road head

This isn’t something that just teenagers do when they can’t be alone in their parents’ house. You can do it at any age. Basically, it’s a blowjob on the road… while he’s driving. Well, that does sound very dangerous, but you can do it while you’re parked somewhere too.

But if you’re going to do it while on the go, it’s best when you’re on a long drive and there aren’t any stoplights or traffic. Because you don’t want to get arrested, do you? [Read: What is a road head? Confessions of a road head girl]

Butt plug pony

Some guys really like getting their butt involved when they are being kinky. There are a lot of nerve endings down there, which is why it’s so pleasurable for some dudes. So, this is a way to do that.

Start by just playing with his butt, and if you’re feeling really adventurous, you can insert a butt plug with a tail. After that, have sex and it will drive him wild. [Read: 19 foreplay sex games for couples to get naughty and horny in minutes]

Vampire butt bite

Some butts are so juicy and fine that you might just want to start taking bites out of it. Chomping on someone’s butt is a fun and flirty thing to do when you are getting down and dirty.

Just make sure you don’t bite too hard because you don’t want to be going to the emergency room! [Read: What does anal sex feel like both physically and mentally?]

Pop rocks blowjob

Remember that candy you ate as a kid, pop rocks? Well, you pour them in your mouth and they just sit there and sizzle.

Imagine how great it is if the girl has these rock-shaped candies in her mouth as she’s giving a blow job? The guy’s dick will reach heights of sensation that he has never felt before. And it’s good for the girl too – pick a flavor you like, and it’s the best of both worlds.

Ice cream cunnilingus

This one is just as much fun for girls as the pop rocks blowjob is for guys. Get some ice cream, put it on her clit, and then start going at it with your tongue.

The cold temperature feels exciting to her, and for you, you will have a yummy flavor in your mouth besides her own natural scent. And any ice cream you have left over, you can have as a post-sex snack.

Etch a sketch nipple play

You probably had an etch a sketch toy when you were a kid. If you didn’t, it’s where you take some dials and draw pictures with it. So, for this sex act, take turns with your partner and treat each other’s nipples like they’re the knobs on that child game.

Draw yourself, a dog, a bus, or anything you want. The point is to twist the nipples like you’re working on a masterpiece. [Read: Weird sex – the strangest and wildest sex acts you might want to try]

Rusty trombone

This sex act is performed on a male. Essentially, it’s a combination anilingus while simultaneously reaching around to give him a hand job.

If you think about how a trombone is played, just picture doing that to a guy. We’re going to leave the “rusty” part up to your imagination. [Read: 24 sex tips for men and secrets that make any woman wet and want more]

Golden shower

Depending on your level of disgust or kinkiness, this one may either be fun or gross to you. A lot of people like it, so that’s why we’re including it in this list.

So, what you do is simply pee on someone during sex. It can also be called “water sports,” but we’re not talking about jet skiing. [Read: How to spice up a relationship – 30 sexy ways to feel loved and horny]

ATM

No, we’re not talking about the “automated teller machine” where you get your cash out of your bank. Let’s face it, you can’t really use that as a sex toy! So, this one stands for “ass to mouth.”

This is when the male places his dick into his partner’s butt and then their mouth without cleaning it off. This doesn’t sound too hygienic, but nonetheless, there are people who do it. [Read: 15 really gross sex acts you probably didn’t know existed]

Superman-ing

When you are having sex from behind, the guy should ejaculate onto his partner’s upper back without warning. The partner is completely satisfied, and then they roll over on their back and go to sleep.

When they wake up, they find out that the cum has dried, and it’s stuck to the sheets. Since the sheets are clinging to their back, they kind of look like they have a Superman cape on!

[Read: Weird sex – The strangest and weirdest sex acts you may want to try]

Now you know so many different sex acts that you and your partner can do. From tea bagging to the ATM, isn’t it time you took your newfound skills and tested them out in the bedroom? What are you waiting for?

The post What Is Tea Bagging? A Sexy Guide to Eat His Balls & Other Sex Acts is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Sex Toy Party: How to Plan One with Friends & Make It Really Fun

Has your sex life hit a slump? Do you need more excitement? All you need to do is have a sex toy party with your friends. Your lover will thank you!

Have you ever used a sex toy or been to a sex toy party?

For most girls, holding a sex toy for the first time is an uncomfortable experience. It makes you wonder if you’re just a tad too horny for comfort. But really, using a sex toy doesn’t make you a pervert.

A sex toy can actually make you feel more connected with your own body and your senses. And the best part is that you can use it with your partner to bring that naughty spark back into the bedroom.

[Read: 50 wild, kinky ideas to create the sexiest relationship you can have]

Why people use sex toys

If you have never thought about using a sex toy before, you might wonder why people would even want to use them instead of doing it with the “real thing.” And also why they would want to go to a sex toy party. Well, here are your answers!

1. Enhance your sex life

Sex toys can be used to help liven up your sex life with your partner in the bedroom. In fact, research has shown that people who use sex toys are more satisfied with their sex life.

When you are with the same sexual partner for so long, the excitement tends to fade. It can get downright boring sometimes. Using sex toys will bring back the intimacy and make sex enjoyable again. [Read: How to make sex way more interesting and fun if it’s boring and lame right now]

2. Boost self-confidence

You might think that sex toys are just good for your physical body, but they are also good for your mind and soul.

If you don’t like your body much, you can gain an appreciation of it when you explore its pleasure points. Your partner and you can figure things out like you’ve never experienced before.

3. Help with sexual dysfunction

Many people suffer from sexual dysfunction, and it can be a real problem. If you use sex toys, they can help with issues such as erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety.

If both men and women learn how to make themselves climax by using sex toys while they masturbate, it gives them more confidence when they are with their partner. [Read: 13 homemade sex toys you have to try – solo or with a lover]

4. Quicker and bigger orgasms

Our bodies have limits as to what they can do on their own. If it’s difficult for you to reach orgasm, sex toys can help you.

For example, if a woman has a hard time, she can use a vibrator and it will help her cum very quickly.

5. Slows your orgasm

For men, sometimes, they have an orgasm too quickly and too easily. This can be frustrating for both partners if he can’t last very long. So, there are some sex toys that can help slow this orgasm process.

As a result, both the man and woman are more satisfied with their sexual experience. [Read: How to last longer in bed – 22 sex secrets to go harder and longer for men]

6. Boosts your libido

If your sex life is boring, your libido tends to go into a slump too. So, if you need more thrilling and hot sex, you just need some help from sex toys. When you have sex, women will find they have better vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity. All of this makes sex more enjoyable, and it will increase their cravings for more sex.

The experience of buying a sex toy

When you’re a girl, picking up a sex toy in a dingy adult store is not the most appealing of ideas. And having some creepy guy with his face plastered against an x-rated magazine eye-f*cking you as you walk down an aisle can be really awkward.

Shopping online is a lot safer and more comfortable, but the only drawback being that you can’t really feel the product in your own hands *but good user reviews can always help you there*.

But what if you could make the whole experience of shopping for a sex toy a lot more fun and personal? Wouldn’t that just be perfect?

What if you could have a private demonstration of sex toys in the comfort of your own home while you’re hanging out with the girls, and pick up whatever you want right there? That’s the whole idea of a sex toy party! [Read: How to make long term sex feel like a one night stand instantly]

What is a sex toy party?

A sex toy party is a party in which a group of women gather together to learn more about sex toys and buy them. A hostess, usually a trained representative of a sex toy company, shows the different toys to the women present so they can get a better idea about the toys and how to use them.

At a sex toy party, the store is brought to you. You can see the wares and pick the ones you like in the comfort of your own home. And having a few girl friends around makes the whole experience a lot more fun and enjoyable.

My experience with a sex toy party

The first time I was invited to a sex toy party, I didn’t really know what to expect. But just to humor my sex veteran friend, I decided to tag along, for curiosity’s sake.

When I got to my friend’s place where the event was organized, it was all awkward for the first ten or so minutes. A few of the girls present there were good friends of mine, and a few other girls were complete strangers who were friends with my friend.

As the hostess started displaying the sex toys, the room was silent and toe-curlingly awkward. We looked at each other and strained a weak, awkward smile. But as soon as one rather loud girl asked the hostess something funny, the room burst out into laughter and excitement.

And once the awkwardness was banished, all the girls got a lot more courageous and bold. We hollered and giggled with each new squiggly toy, looked awestruck now and then, and eventually, had an evening that was so much fun, it’ll be hard to ever forget. [Read: The real reason why size matters to women]

The sales were done personally by the hostess in another room. You could pick up the toys right at the event or have them mailed to you. I ordered a few lubes and tingly gels, and my package reached home a few days later in a sealed brown box.

So was it fun? Definitely. The thought of having a sex toy party or visiting one may seem vulgar, but truth be told, it’s a lot of fun and an event that won’t be forgotten in a hurry.

Things you can expect to see in a sex toy party

Each sex toy manufacturer has its own range of products, but almost always, you’d see lubricants and paints *edible too*, outfits and costumes, vibrators, and a few eccentric things that the hostess may not readily reveal until everyone’s warmed up and ready for some seriously kinky stuff.

If you or your friends are put off by the adventurous toys, explain that to your hostess beforehand.

Most of the sex toys you’d see at a sex toy party cater to couples, and that’s a great thing because your man wouldn’t have to feel so threatened when you have a sex toy party.

At the end of the party, you could go home and show him your new kinky wares, and chances are, he’ll be really excited to see them and even use them with you. [Read: 10 fun and naughty sex games you can play with your boyfriend in bed]

Men and their problem with girlie sex toy parties

For a girl, a sex toy party is a great way to buy sex toys, and have a good laugh at the same time. But if you’re dating a guy who isn’t too secure in the relationship, you may come across a bit of resistance when you mention your plans to visit or host a sex toy party.

Several guys are just not comfortable with the idea of a girl going to a sex toy party. If a guy can watch porn when he’s alone, or if he’s happy using his hands when he doesn’t have you for company, why can’t a girl just go out there and have some harmless fun?

Hypocrisy and biased rules in a relationship is one of the biggest reasons for the breakdown of relationships. [Read: Why men watch porn instead of their woman in bed]

If your guy is truly secure in the relationship, he would be excited by the idea that you’re trying to create more variety in bed by involving toys.

If you’re having a problem convincing him about the benefits of a sex toy party, explain to your man that these toys could help you explore your sexuality and get better in bed. Tell him the truth about what the party is about and what you intend to do there.

If there are no guys and no one’s using any sex toys, there really isn’t a difference between these parties and a regular girl’s slumber party because it’s just a fun get-together for girls.

If he still doesn’t get it or if he takes offense, he’s probably extremely insecure. Or he may even have a streak of controlling behavior in him if he wants to be around you each time you want to experience something with your own friends. [Read: 26 ways to handle your boyfriend’s biased and controlling behavior in the relationship]

A man who’s truly secure in his relationship will never feel threatened if his woman wants to go to a sex toy party to have some fun. After all, it’s just a group of girls having fun and viewing a few fun products and having a laugh about it.

If he can masturbate when you’re not around, what’s wrong if you just hold a toy in your hands?

[Read: 18 biased double standards in relationships and why they’re toxic AF]

The big misconception about sex toy parties

Truth be told, there are a few misconceptions about sex toy parties. And that may make you or your man feel uncomfortable about the idea. But the reality of what happens in these girlie parties is very different from what most men who watch a lot of porn assume.

Guys have nothing to feel threatened about their woman’s sexual orientation, because no one uses any products or tries them out at a sex toy party. Nor do girls have to assume a sex toy party is a dirty get-together of horny pervy women. [Read: Weird sex – the strangest and wildest sex acts you may want to try]

The biggest sexual act you can indulge in is holding a battery-operated device in your hand. And at times, the hostess may carry a tester of a few products where she would give you just a little bit of the gel or lotion on an individual q-tip or on your finger or the back of the hand. The girls can go to the bathroom and test it out on themselves if they really want to.

If you’re unsure about a toy, or not really interested in any toys, you don’t need to buy something. You can just take a look at the toys, and see if something interests you, or just have a laugh about the moving gizmos lying on the table.

The idea that sex toy parties turn into girlie orgies is just a sexual fantasy of men that’s fed by the porn industry. It’s just like any other get-together for girls, really. [Read: Top 16 male sexual fantasies and dirty desires in a man’s mind and top 17 female sexual fantasies that arouse almost all women]

How to plan a perfect sex toy party

If you’re bored of the typical party and are interested in hosting a sex toy party, good for you. A well-planned sex toy party can be a great hit with your friends, and leave them with a fun experience too.

Wondering how to plan a sex toy party? Use these steps to throw your own sex toy party for your friends.

1. The perfect party hostess

Google a good sex toy representative *recommendations and reviews would help a lot here* and see if you can find someone you feel comfortable with, and who lives around your area code. Most sex toy representatives are housewives or part-time employees who partner with sex toy manufacturers to earn a commission on the sales they make.

A good sex toy party hostess should be fun and pleasant company. And most importantly, make sure they’re trained and well educated about the toys they’re selling.

Finding someone who only cares about making sales will make your party feel more like a sales pitch instead of a fun evening with the girls. [Read: How to spice up a relationship – 30 sexy ways to feel loved and horny]

2. Prepare an invitation

Your preferred sex toy representative should help you here. Do you want to send an e-invitation or do you want to print out a fancy designed card? You could print out free party invitation templates online and create your own personal invitation to your select group of friends. Make sure the letter’s personal, fun and naughty.

Let your friends know what to expect. They really don’t have to try the toys in person. Most guys assume girls sit together with their pants around their ankles, or at least that’s what my boyfriend thought! Blame that on a male’s active imagination.

No one tries anything. You can see and touch them, but you can’t use them. The products are passed around the room, but no one tries them.

3. Choose your party

Sex toy parties are almost always all-girl events. But some toy parties can also be coed, especially if all the girls have partners who don’t mind having a bit of fun with toys.

A few sex toy hostesses cater strictly to only all-girl audiences, so if you want to invite a few guys to the party, make sure you have a word about it with your hostess first. [Read: 19 foreplay sex games for couples to get naughty and horny in minutes]

4. Sex toy food

Good food is an integral part of all great parties. But at a sex toy party, it isn’t just about serving food, it’s all about serving suggestive food!

Meatballs and sausages strategically arranged together, longer fruits, and other suggestive food and pastries always make for fun conversations and laughs. And it can definitely help set the atmosphere just right.

5. Conversations

Finding a perfect hostess may be very important. But if your friends don’t feel involved or if they feel too awkward to open up and have some fun, the sex toy party may start to get extremely boring and awkward.

To get your friends in the mood, talk about a funny sex toy incident, or ask your hostess to talk about a few experiences with sex toys.

Once your friends realize that there’s nothing awkward about holding a sex toy in front of others, they’ll be a lot more enthusiastic about the whole thing *it’s usually the quiet ones that are most enthusiastic after a while*. [Read: 87 dirty truth or dare questions for a sexy couples night]

6. Ordering your products

Speak with your friends and your hostess about how you want the business transactions to take place. It’s usually preferable if the hostess can wait in another private room after the demonstration, so each of your friends can privately speak to the hostess and order their own sex toys and fetishist costumes without feeling awkward about it. [Read: The beginners guide to sexy role playing and costumes]

But if it’s just a group of close girl friends who don’t care who’s around, well, order away in front of each other!

7. Confidentiality

A sex toy party is a fun event for the girls involved. But don’t share your invitation with the whole world. Not everyone you invite may be too happy to share their sex toy party tales with the rest of the world.

Try to ensure that only the invited friends know about the sex toy party, and no one else does. In a world where we’d always be judged by prudes, it’s better to avoid stirring an unnecessary controversy. [Read: How to get your partner to open up about sex and talk about their desires]

It can be a lot of giggles and fun, and it’s definitely an experience worth having at least once, even if you’re not really into sex toys.

[Read: How to prepare for sex – 20 things you MUST do to enjoy it way more]

Now that you know what a sex toy party is all about, and how to host a sex toy party at your own place, plan something fun with your friends. It’ll surely be a fun event that’s worth having, and if you find the right toys, it’ll be a lot more fun in bed too!

The post Sex Toy Party: How to Plan One with Friends & Make It Really Fun is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.