Do you think your boyfriend likes your best friend beyond a platonic friendship? Here are the signs to look for – and what you can do about it.
Unfortunately, this predicament isn’t all that uncommon. If you love spending time with your boyfriend but also value your friendship with your best friend, then it makes sense that they are going to end up spending a lot of time together too. But what if there are signs that your boyfriend likes your best friend?
If she’s as smart and fun as you think she is, and if he’s as cute and funny as you know him to be, then it’s not impossible that an attraction may form between them.
Obviously, if they are both loyal to you *as they should be*, then they will never look at each other in that way. She knows he’s off-limits, and he would never do anything to hurt you, right?
Well…
There are attractive people all over. We know they exist, but they’re not always accessible to us. However, if your partner is eyeing your friend, that’s a different story.
This isn’t just someone you passed when walking down the street. It’s someone you’re emotionally connected to. Your friend may be amazing, but what do you do if you see alarming signs your boyfriend is interested in her?
You can’t do much. He should know that there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. It’s one thing to find someone attractive, but it’s another to develop feelings for them. This, of course, isn’t what you want to happen. [Read: 38 signs your man is crushing on another woman and falling for her]
How to tell if your boyfriend likes your best friend
When we’re in a relationship, we believe they only have eyes for us. At least, this is what we would like to happen.
Listen, it’s normal for men and women to be attracted to other people who aren’t their significant others. It’s a hard thing to accept, but it’s something to acknowledge. We can’t let our egos get the best of us.
Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you become blind. [Read: Is sexting cheating? The answer you really won’t want to accept]
Unfortunately, sometimes you can see a bond forming between your bestie and your beau that makes you feel super uncomfortable. But how do you know if it’s anything to worry about, or if you are just being a little paranoid?
What can you do? Fight them both? End your friendship? You can’t control the way people feel, but you can control your reaction. First, you must figure out what’s going on before you take action.
Is your boyfriend falling for your friend? It’s time you went through the signs your boyfriend is falling for your friend and figured out what’s going on. [Read: How to stop being taken for granted in your relationship]
Of course, you will have to talk to your boyfriend about this too. That way, you’ll be able to figure out what’s going on between him and your friend before you lose your mind.
Here are some signs to look out for, and what you can do if you think your boyfriend really is into your best friend.
1. You catch them looking at each other a bit too much
A lot can be said about a look. If you see your boyfriend and your best friend exchanging glances when they think you aren’t looking, then this may be the time to get suspicious. [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]
Sure, they are going to look at each other when they have a conversation or if one of them is speaking in a group. That’s not what we are talking about here.
It’s those strange, lingering glances that they immediately snap away from if you speak or walk into the room. No one needs to stare at another person for that long unless they’re doing some silent flirting, which is definitely not okay.
2. He gets nervous when he’s around her
Does your usually calm and confident boyfriend get all twitchy when he’s around your best friend? You might want to ask yourself why.
If he touches his hair, clears his throat, stutters over his words, or gets really quiet, it may be that he harbors a secret crush.
3. He starts showing off
Alternatively, your boyfriend’s behavior may change in a completely different way when your friend comes around.
If he starts getting louder, sillier, more excited, or showing off every time she is on the scene, this might be because he’s trying to impress her. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]
4. He wants to know way too much
It’s super cute when your boyfriend wants to know all about your friends. It shows that he’s interested in you and the things that affect your life. It shows that he cares.
However, if he starts asking question after question about a particular friend of yours, you might start to get a little worried. It’s great that they get along, but he doesn’t need to know every single thing that is going on in her life, right?
If your boyfriend is constantly asking you about one friend in particular, that’s something you should be wary of. [Read: 22 signs you’re losing interest in a relationship and slowly letting go]
5. He hates her boyfriend
When your friend brings over new dates, your boyfriend doesn’t like any of them. It’s almost as if he’s jealous. You see him getting annoyed and angry after they leave your place. Why does he care about your friend’s dating life? Unless… he likes her.
Or maybe your best friend has a boyfriend already, and your boyfriend can’t stand him. If you know your bestie’s beau is a bit of a jerk, then it’s no big deal that your boyfriend doesn’t like him. However, if her boyfriend is a perfectly nice guy in everybody else’s eyes, it might be that yours is jealous.
If you like him and think that he and your boyfriend could even be friends themselves, try to understand why your boyfriend is holding such a grudge.
If none of his reasons really make sense, it could be because he wants your best friend all to himself!
6. They have jokes that you don’t get
Are your best friend and your boyfriend constantly joking about stuff that you don’t get? Then, when you ask them to explain it to you, do they just say “don’t worry, it’s an inside joke”?
If so, that may be a sign that they are getting closer than is normal. There is no way that your boyfriend and best friend should be spending so much time together that they have their own private jokes going on, which you don’t even get to be a part of. [Read: Emotional cheating and the bad things it can do to you]
7. They get to know each other’s families
Again, this is a judgment call. It might be that he is super close to his parents, and so, inevitably, your best friend ends up meeting them a few times here and there.
What is weird, however, is if they get along so much better than they ever did with you. What’s worse is if you can see your boyfriend beaming with pride every time they make each other laugh. This could be cause for concern.
If he gets to know your friend’s family, well, that’s certainly an odd sign. But it’s something you need to look out for.
No guy would be willing to invest time getting to know someone’s family if they didn’t want or have to. If he’s interested in getting to know your friend’s family, now that is weird. [Read: How to get along with your partner’s family – create a lifelong bond]
8. They spend time alone together
If your boyfriend and best friend hang out without you, that is cause for concern too.
Sure, sometimes we date people who share the same friends as us. In that case, your friends will continue hanging out with you and your boyfriend.
But usually, if you do hang out with your friends, you’ll do it together. [Read: 16 subtle signs he’s definitely cheating on you!]
Of course, you want your bestie and your boyfriend to be friends — that’s the dream, right? So, if they end up becoming really good friends, it might be that they do some things alone together from time to time.
But if they consistently go MIA and aren’t great at returning calls when you are trying to get hold of them, this may be more than a little worrying.
So, if your friend is spending more alone time with your partner, that’s something you need to keep an eye on. [Read: Love triangles and its confusing complications]
9. He takes her side in arguments
No friendship is perfect, so it’s natural that you and your best friend are not going to see eye-to-eye on everything. So, when you do argue from time to time, you’ll want to be able to go running to your boyfriend for a loving shoulder to cry on.
But if when all you want to do is let off some steam about your best friend, your boyfriend keeps sticking up for her, it’s a good idea to question why.
Sure, maybe you were being a bit unreasonable, but he should be able to see that you are upset and angry. He should be there for you, not make you feel even worse about it. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
10. He keeps comparing you to her
Comparing you to any other woman can be seriously hurtful but comparing you to your best friend is only going to cause a rift between the two of you. That’s just not right.
If he puts her on a pedestal and has a “why can’t you be more like her” attitude, you might want to ask him if he would prefer to go out with her instead!
11. He is all over her social media
Okay, we all creep on people’s social media – that’s why it’s there. It’s the creeping tool. And it’s normal to follow our partner’s friends on social media; it’s almost offensive not to follow them. [Read: 15 things you should never do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend]
But maybe you’re finding that he likes everything she posts, comments on her pictures with compliments, and shares stuff on her wall that he thinks she’d like. You have to ask… why? Why do they know all of this about each other? And why does he care so much?
Come on, that’s a little odd, don’t you think?
If he is constantly drooling all over her Facebook page, that’s bound to make you feel *rightly* suspicious. [Read: Why social media is killing your relationship]
12. They are way too touchy-feely
Inappropriate behavior between your man and your best friend is a massive giveaway. If they are constantly cuddling, tickling, and play-fighting in front of you, it might be that they have gotten to the point where they don’t even care if you notice or not.
It may well be the time to confront them and put an end to it once and for all!
13. He brings up your friend a lot
Whenever you’re talking about something, never mind what the topic is, he somehow weasels your friend into the conversation.
He’ll bring up things that she says or jokes she told, which is fine until it becomes obvious. If he’s constantly bringing her up in conversation, you should keep an eye on that.
14. They talk
Yup, this one is something you should definitely keep an eye on. If they were friends before you started dating, that’s fine. [Read: Emotional cheating vs. friendship – The point when a line is crossed]
However, if you see they’re talking quite often and only met each other once you started dating – that’s weird. If they’re always texting, calling, and sharing things on social media together – that’s not normal.
Listen, you might text your boyfriend’s friends to arrange a hangout, etc. But you’re not spending hours a day texting them. If your boyfriend is texting your friend quite a lot, that’s a red flag.
Why do they need to text each other all the time? What’s going on? Perhaps it’s time for a chat with your boyfriend and friend.
15. He becomes the best boyfriend when your friend is around
Not that he’s a bad boyfriend when your friend isn’t around, but when she is around, he’s an improved version of himself.
He does everything you ask, he does his best to make you happy. Weird… why does he do this only when your friend is around? Is he trying to hint at something to her?
16. He pushes to hang out with your friend
He doesn’t just suggest hanging out with your friend once or twice; he’s constantly asking for you to invite her over or spend your weekend together.
If he wants your friend to hang out with you a lot, this could be because he wants to see your friend. Pretty sneaky of him, right?
17. He refers to your friend as his “second partner”
You know how people use the phrase “work wife” or “work husband” to talk about people they connect with who aren’t their partners?
Yeah, well, he’s doing the same thing – only with your best friend. Sure, he could be joking, maybe to not make your friend feel like a third wheel. But it still stings.
18. He makes jokes about her being his “second girlfriend”
Maybe the three of you spend a lot of time together, and maybe he makes a joke about your friend being his second or “other” girlfriend.
He may just be joking, but there’s truth in every joke. If this has happened paired with the next item on this list, that’s not a good sign.
19. He’s happy when he’s around your friend
Maybe they just get along well, and it doesn’t mean anything, but if he’s instantly happy when your friend comes over, something is up. It’s almost like your friend is providing him with the happiness he can’t get when being around you.
20. He called you her name
Ouch. Well, this is awkward. Why would he ever call you by her name? If he called you by your friend’s name more than once, that’s one of the most disturbing signs your boyfriend is falling for your friend.
Okay, in all honesty, it could be a simple mistake, but it depends on the circumstances. If you all hung out and then he mixed up your names, it’s fine. Of course, sometimes, we’re not thinking and blurt out things we don’t mean.
So if this happens once, it’s not necessarily something serious. But if he’s doing this more than once, that may be a sign. [Read: Could you be dating a serial cheater?]
The most concerning thing would be if he called out your friend’s name during sex. Not good. We repeat, not good.
21. He’s horny after your friend goes home
This is a bit of a tricky one. Sometimes, it’s just timing, and other times, it’s a little weird.
Maybe you finally managed to get some alone time right after hanging out with your friend. After you all hung out for the day, you’re ready to chill on the couch and watch a movie. However, he’s suddenly all over you. [Read: How to tell if a guy is turned on – 22 signs he’s horny AF]
Think whether this is something that’s normal behavior for him. It could be that he had a great day and is simply happy. Or maybe your friend is on his mind.
22. He asks inappropriate questions
He could be testing the water to see if you and your friend would be interested in having a threesome. Since he’s not stupid, he’ll make a lame joke to see your reactions. This doesn’t mean he likes your friend, but it does mean he may be attracted to her.
23. He goes the extra step to take care of her
He may offer to drive her home, which is really nice, especially if she doesn’t have a way to get home. It could also mean he wants to spend some alone time with her, and this is his final chance before the night ends. [Read: Cell phone rules every couple should follow to build trust in a relationship]
24. He flirts with her in front of you
Well, let’s just say, first of all, this isn’t cool. Your boyfriend should never be flirting with another woman in front of you.
If that happens, it shows he doesn’t respect you. Would you flirt with another guy in front of him?
Exactly, there’s your answer. If he’s flirting with your friend in front of you, it’s clear he has feelings for her or is at least excited by her.
25. He’s excited when you bring her up
Maybe you’re inviting her over for dinner or just updating him on information about her, but he’s oddly interested when you talk about her.
One of the more obvious signs your boyfriend is falling for your friend is extra curiosity about her and her life. He asks questions, but there’s just something about the way he asks that makes you feel something is going on.
26. Your friend doesn’t talk to you as much
Aside from them flirting with each other, and other signs from this list, you’ve also noticed your friend has taken a step back from your relationship with her. [Read: What is emotional cheating and 15 signs to recognize an affair ASAP]
Either she’s feeling uncomfortable with his behavior and is trying to avoid him, or she’s feeling guilty because she’s also into your boyfriend.
27. She routinely asks about him
It’s normal for your friends to ask about your relationship, so don’t take this to heart. So, the issue isn’t about her asking about him, it’s more about what she asks.
Is there something she’s asking that’s making you feel uncomfortable or overstepping your boundaries?
28. He acts like her best friend all of a sudden
Usually, it takes time for people to get to know each other and become overly friendly. But if it happens pretty quickly – or out of the blue – then that is something to be concerned about.
It’s normal for your boyfriend to get to know your friends, especially if you spend a lot of time with them. But you’re noticing your friend and boyfriend are getting a little too chummy. They’re flirty, touch each other, and it’s clear they’re crossing the line.
Both of them should know that they should have boundaries between them. If they don’t, and they act like they’ve known each other their whole lives, that could be a bad sign. [Read: How to get over emotional cheating when your heart is broken]
29. Other people have made comments about them
You may be thinking you’re going crazy, and that you’re the only one who’s noticing this.
But if other people are making comments to you about your boyfriend and friend, then you’re not losing your mind. If other people notice, then what you’re seeing is very real.
30. He buys her stuff
When you and your boyfriend are out shopping and he sees something he thinks your friend would like, he buys it for her. Or even worse, your friend is wearing a new shirt or necklace that you haven’t seen before; when you ask her where she got it, she says your boyfriend bought it for her.
It’s not normal for anyone’s boyfriend to buy his girlfriend’s friend anything. That is something he should be doing for his partner, not for someone else.
If this is happening, then there could be something going on between them. [Read: Guilty conscience – what it is and 21 emotional signs of guilt people feel]
31. He takes pictures with her
Sure, people take pictures all the time these days. But there’s a difference between taking some group photos and ones of just the two of them.
If either of them makes frequent attempts to take photos of just the two of them, that’s bad. And if they regularly post them on social media, that’s even worse.
32. He makes comments about her sex life
He might be “joking,” but he seems upset that she’s having sex with other guys. So, in order to cover up his jealousy, he makes jokes or inappropriate comments about her sex life. [Read: Mutual sexual tension – 44 signs, causes, and secrets to get more horny]
He might want to know who she’s having sex with or how kinky she is getting with them. That’s just a defense mechanism to cover up his true feelings.
33. He turns into a comedian when she’s around
Guys like to impress the girls they are attracted to – that’s pretty obvious. So, if he’s getting all funny and flirty when she’s around, then keep an eye out for that. Suddenly turning into a comedian when she’s with you means he’s trying to get her attention.
What’s even worse is if he doesn’t do that when the two of you are alone. Maybe he turns all serious when she leaves, and you’re left wondering what happened to Mr. Funny Guy. He puts that persona away as soon as she’s not around. [Read: How to get a girl’s attention and impress her before saying a word]
34. You feel it
You just have this feeling something isn’t right. Listen, we’re not going to tell you that you’re wrong. It’s your gut feeling. If you feel something is off, follow that instinct. Remember, don’t jump the gun. Gather evidence before you say anything.
How to deal with it
If, after reading all of these signs, you still have a really bad feeling that something is going on between your boyfriend and your best friend, then what can you do about it?
Just suck it up and deal with it? No. Here are some things you can do to resolve the situation.
1. Don’t jump to conclusions
If you want to make sure you aren’t being paranoid and jumping to conclusions, perhaps write down all the instances when you’ve felt that something just wasn’t right.
Then talk to a third party about it and get a different perspective before you say anything. [Read: The subtle signs your friends are ruining your relationship]
2. Talk to your boyfriend
Once you are clear that you have not jumped to conclusions, then talk to your boyfriend about it. If he truly loves and respects you, he will apologize, and you’ll see a noticeable positive change in his behavior.
On the other hand, if he has something to hide, he will most likely get angry or defensive.
3. Talk to your friend
You can talk to your friend too. Ask her if she feels like something is going on between the two of them. She might deny it *and he might too*, so be prepared for that. You also have the option of talking to the two of them at the same time. That way, you can track both of their reactions to each other.
4. Stay friendly during interactions
When the three of you are together, don’t get grumpy and defensive. Don’t act like you’re the third wheel, even if you feel like it.
Stay friendly with both of them and don’t act like you are suspicious. But meanwhile, you should be very observant of their behavior towards each other. [Read: Boyfriend extra-friendly and flirting with other girls? 19 signs and must-dos]
5. Remain confident
It’s easy to get down on yourself if you think that your boyfriend has some interest in your best friend. It can damage your self-esteem. But keep in mind that he chose you, not her.
He obviously likes and loves you or else he wouldn’t have gotten together with you in the first place. So keep your chin up and love yourself. [Read: How to be confident – 28 life hacks to transform your future forever]
5. Keep your boyfriend’s attention on you
Whenever possible, try to limit the time the three of you spend together. You want to keep your boyfriend’s attention on you, and not her.
Resist becoming the Three Musketeers, and get back to being just a regular, normal couple. That way, he can forget about her and rediscover you.
6. Trust your inner voice
At the end of the day, you have to listen to your intuition. If you feel like something is going on between them, then it probably is. Don’t let them try to tell you otherwise.
If you don’t think it’s going to change, trust your gut about what to do about it. If there really is something happening, then neither of them deserves to have you in their lives.
[Read: How to listen to your gut and give strength to your inner voice]
With these tips, you should be able to figure out whether your boyfriend likes your best friend, or if it’s all in your head. Whatever you decide to do, there’s no point in going through your whole relationship feeling worried or insecure. So if it keeps happening, it’s best to take action!
The post 34 Sneaky Signs Your Boyfriend Likes Your Friend & What You Must Do ASAP is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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