Stopping liking someone is a lot easier said than done, but you can find a way to move on.
Unrequited love is just the worst, isn’t it? Learning how to stop liking someone isn’t fun or easy, but it is possible. However, if you have spent weeks or even months building up feelings for this person, it’s going to be hard to stop liking them. This is true even when you find out your feelings are not reciprocated.
But you have to stop liking them. And you have to remember that life goes on. A single rejection is nothing to dwell about. [Read: Loving someone you can’t have – the best ways to handle the pain]
Remember that rejection is a part of life
Rejection doesn’t mean you are unlovable or a failure– sometimes people won’t like you for things that are totally out of your control, and that’s okay. Rejection is a normal and healthy part of dating.
Learning how to stop liking someone you can’t have isn’t easy, but it’s a life skill that will benefit you greatly in the long run. You will learn to move on so you can meet someone who returns your feelings.
It is painful to endure the feelings of unrequited love, and that pain is valid. But you need to push through this to the other side. Read on to learn how to stop liking someone and move on to greener pastures.
Confirm why you need to stop liking them
In order to end this crush, you need to think about why exactly you need to stop liking them. We have listed some reasons below. Once you find out, hold firm to your decision to put them out of your mind as much as possible. [Read: 16 signs it is time to move on]
1. Your crush is already taken
This is an easy answer to why you need to stop crushing on someone. Sure, you can tell yourself that their partner doesn’t matter, or that your crush would be happier with you than with their current partner.
But ask yourself why you want to date a cheater. If your crush were to leave their partner for you *and that’s a big if*, what would stop them from leaving you for someone else? Do you really want to be the third party in a nasty breakup?
Save yourself the heartache. If your crush is taken, you need to stop liking them ASAP.
2. They don’t like you back
Remember that thing about rejection being part of life? It may seem harsh, but the sooner you accept that your crush doesn’t like you back, the sooner you can move on.
If your crush was someone you often confided in, you might be tempted to tell them about how they broke your heart. You might even be angry and want to lash out at them for hurting you by not reciprocating your feelings.
Don’t do that. Don’t lash out, don’t beg, don’t seek “closure” *it’s a myth, anyway*. If you want to move on, you need to accept that nothing you do is going to change the fact that they don’t care about you the same way you care about them.
3. Your crush likes someone else
This is a tough one. Finding out your crush likes someone else can feel like being kicked when you’re down. You may feel like you lost a competition for your crush’s love. But you didn’t- try to remember that human relationships are complicated.
Just because your crush likes someone more than you, does not make you less likable. That just means you weren’t a good fit for that person. Dust yourself off and try again with someone who is more likely to reciprocate your feelings. [Read: 39 secrets to get your crush to notice you & stages to get their attention]
4. They’re not a good partner for you
Okay, so you like this person, right? But ask yourself, what do you really like about them? What do you even really know about them?
When we find someone attractive but don’t really know them, we tend to build a fantasy version of that person and develop a crush. So in your head you two make a perfect couple, but reality may not be so kind.
The best way to learn how to stop liking someone is to realize that you actually don’t have anything in common. You might like the way they look– but if that’s all, that’s not really a relationship.
There’s more to being with someone than having intense feelings for them. The two of you probably wouldn’t make the best pair, and realizing that helps you deal with the fact that you can’t be together. [Read: 50 questions to check if someone’s right for you]
5. Your crush doesn’t care about you
Does your crush come over for booty calls, but disappears when you start talking about emotions? Does your crush like the attention you give them, but isn’t particularly interested in actually getting to know you? Then we are sorry to say that your crush doesn’t care about you.
Nothing makes you stop liking someone faster than realizing they don’t really care about you. If your crush doesn’t care about you, it’s time to stop liking them and seek affection elsewhere.
How to stop liking someone who doesn’t like you back
To stop liking someone, you need to treat yourself with equal measures of strictness and self-love. You must stop thinking about them in a romantic way and forgive yourself for how long the process is going to take. Because, depending on how long you have liked them, it might take a while.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, and read on to learn how to stop liking someone you can’t have.
1. Respect their relationship
If you like somebody that is already in a relationship, it can feel like you’re a third wheel that no one even knows about. Unfortunately, this is a sad situation of your own making and the only person who can put an end to it is you.
Even though it may hurt that they’re with someone else, if they’re happily in a relationship, then it will be a lot easier for you to just stay away from them. Don’t wait around hoping for them to break up and begging for attention. You’re better than that.
Besides, if you really love this person, you should want them to be happy. If they’re happy with their life and relationship, then you should want what’s best for them and look elsewhere for love. [Read: Am I cheating? – signs you’re accidentally doing it]
2. Surround yourself with people who care
A rejection, no matter how normal, can make you feel unwanted and alone. Try to surround yourself with people who care- whether that be loving friends or family. Spending time with those that love you can help you remember that one rejection doesn’t make you less of an awesome person.
3. Flirt with other people
Finding yourself pining over a person who doesn’t like you back? The best remedy might be to try dating again.
When you are thinking about someone you can’t have, you idealize them. This obsession can take up a lot of your brain and trick you into believing that there is nobody as perfect for you as your unrequited crush. But this is far from the truth.
When you start dating again, you will realize that your old crush is just a person– nothing more, nothing less. Dating can give you perspective and maybe even help you find someone new!
You don’t need to redirect these intense feelings, just meet new people and see what’s out there. You’ll be surprised by what interacting with a stranger does for your confidence. Plus, you never know who you’ll find if you put yourself out there. [Read: How to meet new people even in hard times]
4. Indulge in your favorite hobbies
When you want to stop liking someone, it feels like all you can think about. The best way to get over them is to keep yourself busy. Go skydiving! Run a marathon! Do something that takes your mind off of them and the fact that you can’t have them.
Try volunteering, redesigning a room in your house, or just deep cleaning your rug that surely needs it. While you’re out living your own life, you may even bump into someone new! [Read: How to get over someone – steps to get there really fast]
5. Cut off communication with your crush
They’ve decided they don’t reciprocate your feelings… Now you have to leave them alone. Yes, that includes texting them and hitting them up on social media.
This is hard, especially when you are feeling really down and just want a chance to see them. But you have to resist that urge. Don’t “accidentally” bump into them out and about, or tag them in posts on social media. These little moments only deepen your feelings, or worse, make you feel pathetic.
Seeing your crush often will only prevent you from moving on. Whether you work together or run in the same crowd, avoid them. This isn’t petty, it is for your own good. [Read: Reasons why the no contact rule always works]
6. Ask yourself if you actually like your crush
You may believe that you really liked this person, but they do not feel the same way. Could it be that you don’t like them, but you like the fantasy version of them you made up in your head?
You don’t know all of your crush’s little quirks and habits. They might have some nasty, unpleasant personality traits you just glossed over.
It’s time to separate fantasy from reality. One of the best ways to learn how to stop crushing on someone is to make a list of what you actually like about them. If most of the items on the list are purely in your mind, only physical or not set in reality, you may realize these feelings aren’t what you thought they were. [Read: Lust vs. love – signs you’re feeling lust and not love]
7. Let go of expectations
Just because things like this work out in movies doesn’t mean they work out in real life. Telling someone how you feel won’t miraculously make them feel the same way. So if you expect the person you love to reciprocate your feelings, you’ve set your expectations too high.
Don’t be tempted to tell your crush your feelings just to get “closure.” This is likely to backfire. You can’t make someone like you back, it’s just there or it isn’t. [Read: The pain of missing someone: Your heart will mend in time]
8. Control your thoughts
This sounds much harder than it is. Controlling your thoughts should be a gentle practice. Every time your mind drifts to that someone you like, gently bat the thought away like you are hitting a balloon.
Letting yourself obsess about this person causes you to fall deeper for them without even realizing it. In order to stop liking someone that doesn’t like you back, you need to stop letting yourself go there. Don’t dwell.
If your mind goes to them, just gently bat the thought away. Don’t be hard on yourself for struggling, but don’t give up either. Soon you will find you don’t think of them at all. [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind]
9. Stop stalking their social media
You may have a thousand excuses for why you want to keep your crush on your feed. But the reality of the situation is that you cannot move on when you are constantly reminded of them. Staying in touch as friends or as a follower will only ruin your chances of moving on.
Unfollow them, block them, or just hide their posts. It may seem intense, but it will be so worth it when you hit that first day where they don’t cross your mind at all. [Read: How to make your ex jealous & leave them begging for forgiveness]
10. Write a journal
Writing in a journal is one of the best ways to work through your feelings. If this rejection is really bothering you, writing in a journal can help alleviate your pain. It gives you a safe place to vent without fear of judgment, making you feel better overall. [Read: Learn how to let go of a relationship that is bad for you]
11. Let go of a friendship with your crush
A lot of times, when you are trying to stop liking someone that doesn’t like you back, they are your friend. You don’t want to lose the friendship even though it is hurting you. But, why?
This friendship isn’t providing you with anything positive. It is only offering you pain. If you’re afraid to hurt them by ditching them as a friend, so what?
If they are a good person they will understand that you need distance to get over this hurt. Maybe down the road, you can rekindle a friendship, but don’t bank on it. [Read: How to unfriend someone in real life]
12. Put yourself first
Stop putting them first. In your attempts to woo your crush you probably went out of your way for them, putting yourself out to spend time with them and maybe even doing favors. But now that you know that they do not feel the same way about you, it’s time to start thinking about yourself.
Put yourself first. Stop saying yes to them. You shouldn’t be talking to them at all, but if you work together you need to set boundaries. Help them when it is necessary for your job, but not just because.
Putting distance between you and your crush is the only way to stop liking them and move on. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… and love yourself more!]
13. Work on improving yourself
Often when we get hung up on unrequited love, it is because something else in our lives feels unfulfilled. Ask yourself, have you been taking the best care of yourself that you could? Or have you been putting all of your energy into your crush?
Now is the time to focus on improving yourself. Have you had a hobby you were thinking about picking up? Want to join a local runners club, or learn how to surf? Now is the time to do it. Maybe pick up a new workout routine or look for a new job.
When you start working on yourself it will build your confidence and help you forget all about your crush. [Read: How to ghost someone when you’ve never ghosted anyone before]
14. Accept your situation with dignity
The final stage of it all. To fully deal with the reality of you not getting what you want, you need to accept it. Yes, it really does suck. Yes, it would be SO much better if you could just be with them.
But you can’t. And the sooner you realize and accept this, the sooner you can move on and be happy with your life. And you should be proud of yourself for accepting rejection with grace and dignity, for it is one of the hardest and most mature things a person can do.
[Read: Signs you’re lovesick and ways to get out of it]
You can learn how to stop liking someone you can’t have. No matter why they are unavailable, remember there is an abundance of ways you can deal with it and be happy!
The post 19 Truths to Stop Liking Someone or Crushing on Them If They’re Not Into You is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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