Committed relationships are tricky beasts. These committed relationship rules will help you know if you’re in one and what to do to keep it going.
Following a set of committed relationship rules doesn’t sound overly romantic or spontaneous, does it? But it’s the real stuff to making your relationship work when the honeymoon phase goes bye-bye.
Should you have rules in a relationship?
Relationships are not like board games. If we follow the rules, we all play Monopoly the same way. But we’re not given an instruction sheet with committed relationship rules because not every relationship is identical, nor do they require the same things.
You might wonder if committed relationships should even have rules in the first place. In short, yes. [Read: Relationship rules – 30 must-follow tips to live your best love life]
But the difference between rules for relationships and board games is flexibility. Generally, board games are rigid in instruction, while relationship rules are more guidelines for success and happiness. Your partner should never say, “Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.” Monopoly, however, is notorious for exactly that.
Relationships aren’t jail, after all.
Why commitment & committed relationship rules are important in a relationship
Commitment is nothing but pure dedication. It’s devoting yourself to making your relationship feel like a safe and secure place to be.
Commitment is so important in a relationship that some might say it’s the foundation upon which relationships are truly built and trust formed. It signifies honesty, respect, and understanding, among many other things. [Read: What is commitment and how to know if you have it]
Every relationship staple stands under the umbrella of commitment. Without that umbrella, your trust and respect aren’t safe from other world elements.
Are you ready to commit to a relationship and follow the most important committed relationship rules?
Most of us desperately want to be in a committed relationship, but when we’re finally in one, we freak out and find a way to sabotage it.
Finding someone and falling in love can be really scary. But once you move past the fear, it feels like you’re floating on cloud nine. It’ll be so easy, and everything will flow effortlessly.
Before you can get to that point, you need to figure out if you’re even ready to be in such a relationship. Reading these committed relationship rules and signs will give you a better idea of what’s involved and what’s expected of you. [Read: 17 questions to know if you’re ready for a relationship]
Signs that you’re in a committed relationship
You might be in a relationship that became so involved so quickly and easily that you didn’t even have time to recognize that you’re suddenly part of a committed relationship.
Maybe it had a casual, easy-going beginning, and you were both so comfortable with one another that it progressed faster than you were able to keep up.
These signs will help you decide if you’re in one so that you can learn to take it more seriously and nurture it better with the committed relationship rules that follow.
1. You spend quality time together
Quality time is not just being in the same room together. Quality time makes you feel loved and more connected to your partner. It’s an active effort to spend time together in a way that enhances your relationship. [Read: Sweet date ideas to try with your boo]
When you choose to make time for your partner and do things together that really increase your bond, you’re definitely in a committed relationship.
2. You meet each other’s needs
Happy relationships are dependent upon your core needs. You and your significant other might require very different things to feel loved and secure in a relationship, and it’s up to each of you to make sure that the other knows what those things are.
Being able to do the things that your partner needs in order to feel fulfilled in your relationship is a huge success, but it’s definitely a dance that needs communication and compromise from both of you. [Read: The most important needs in a relationship for it to grow and last]
3. You’re there for each other during tough times
Nobody gets away with living an easy, breezy life in which nothing negative ever happens. You might get turned down for a job or even fired. You might get seriously sick or injured.
So many bad things happen to decent people every day, and the only thing that can make those things slightly more bearable is being comforted and supported by the one you love. Being able to support your partner in their time of need is one of the most important committed relationship rules.
4. You go out of your way for each other
Do you often make special efforts to do something for your partner, and do they do the same for you?
Maybe you knew they had a weird day at work, so you went to one place to pick up their favorite dessert and another place to pick up their coffee of choice as a simple effort to give them a little cheer. Or maybe you find yourself being rescued a lot by your partner because you’re always locking your keys in your car.
You have somebody to do for you and somebody you’re happy to do for, and it feels good. [Read: 41 ways to show someone you love them]
5. You share secrets with one another
One of the primary committed relationship signs is to be honest. If you’ve found someone with whom you have no qualms about sharing your secrets, you’ve hit the jackpot.
Finding that kind of comfort with someone else can be exhilarating. It’s not easy to share things that you’ve generally kept hidden. It might be something small, like the fact that you still sleep with your baby blanket, or something more serious, like the difficulties of growing up with a narcissistic mom.
6. You get invited to family events
Family events are sacred for a lot of us. Nobody wants outsiders at their intimate family gatherings, so it’s a pretty big deal to be included.
If you’re inviting your significant other to family events and you’re being invited to theirs, it’s safe to say that you’re in a committed relationship. [Read: How to get along with your partner’s family]
7. You go on vacation together
Vacations and holidays are times during which you’re generally confined to being surrounded by your significant other for a fair period of time. You don’t go to the beach and immediately separate from the person you went with, and you don’t go to a cozy cabin with your partner expecting to have some time to yourself.
If you go on vacation together, your relationship might be a little more serious than you thought it was. [Read: Vacation ideas that create romance and bring you closer]
8. You talk about your future together
In the beginning, you talked about your plans for the next weekend. Now, you might be planning a trip six months in advance.
Maybe you’ve talked about living together, or maybe you’ve even talked about marriage. Any serious conversation about something taking place in the future is a sure sign that you’re in a committed relationship.
Can you be in a relationship without commitment?
Of course, you can – if you’re looking for the whole thing to go up in flames.
First of all, committing to a relationship without commitments IS a commitment. You’re committing to having no expectations in your relationship, which is virtually impossible. Relationships without clear expectations are breeding grounds for jealousy, mistrust, and general disaster.
If you’re only interested in casual relationships right now, that’s fine. [Read: 20 must-follow rules for casual relationships]
If you’re in it for the long haul, these committed relationship rules can help you and your partner manage your expectations.
Must-know committed relationship rules you should never ignore
You thought you’d only have to work one job for the rest of your life, but it’s not work in the sense that you need to pick up a shovel or sit at an office desk all day long. It’s a different type of effort.
When it comes to committed relationships, there are times when things will feel routine and loveless. If you follow these committed relationship rules, then you won’t have to worry about those moments. These rules help you to cultivate a happy love. [Read: These healthy relationship expectations will define a good love life]
1. Honesty is key
If you want to be in a happy and fulfilling relationship, this is the time when you’re going to have to be honest.
If you’re not honest with your partner, who are you going to be honest with? Honesty is a crucial rule to follow in a committed relationship. [Read: What secrets are you allowed to keep in your relationship?]
2. It can’t always go your way
When you were single, the only person you had to think of was yourself. You did whatever you wanted to do without big debates or negotiations. You made the decisions.
Now there are two people in the equation, which means you’re not always going to have it your way. You’re in a partnership now, which depends on compromising and working together. [Read: How to compromise without losing in your relationship]
3. Arguing is healthy
When we know that couples are arguing, we assume they don’t have a solid relationship. That’s not completely true.
Arguments are absolutely normal *within reason*. You and your significant other will never agree on everything. If you do, one of you might be a robot.
4. You need to work at these committed relationship rules constantly
You need to work on your relationship constantly to have a happy one. The moment you slip and let your relationship take second priority, you will have problems.
Small amounts of consistent, mindful effort can work wonders in the flow of your relationship. [Read: The 19 rules to being a good partner in a relationship]
5. There’s no limit to expressions of love
There’s no limit when it comes to showing your partner how much you love them. You can take them to dinner or buy them a gift, but remember that there are other ways to show love. Going for a walk with them, cuddling in bed, or giving them a kiss before work. These expressions are endless, nearly effortless, and make a big impact.
6. Only you two know your love
When it comes to learning about the most important committed relationship rules, you might talk to your friends and family about your relationship. But you and your partner are the only two people that understand your love.
Don’t put a ton of importance on the advice that others give you. What works for one couple will almost certainly not work for another. At the end of the day, you know what will improve your relationship. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that ruin your love life]
7. Ask for what you need
Sometimes, there are moments when you’re feeling unsatisfied in the relationship. You may feel like you’re not being listened to or not spending enough time with your partner.
These are needs that must be met because they’re important to you. If you’re not getting this, ask. Your partner can’t read your mind.
We mentioned above that making sure your needs and your partner’s needs are met is a two-way street. If you’re not communicating, it just can’t happen. [Read: 16 steps to communicate for better love]
8. Your partner isn’t perfect
You’ll need to accept this if you want to stay in a committed relationship. Some people can’t accept their partner’s flaws, and their relationship suffers or doesn’t make it. Accept that your partner isn’t perfect because they will make mistakes. You aren’t perfect either, and you’ll make mistakes, too.
This is one of the toughest but most helpful committed relationship rules.
9. Have the tough conversations
No one likes difficult conversations, but you cannot keep your feelings and thoughts to yourself to avoid awkwardness.
If you do, you risk having those issues continuously reappear in the future. Deal with tough conversations immediately so you can move on rather than dwell. [Read: How to communicate with your partner and end the roller coaster]
10. Try to be fair
When it comes to money, it’s important that you try to approach the relationship fairly. Don’t let your partner pay for everything. Pitch in.
Your partner may want to pay for everything, but show your appreciation by doing it every once in a while. This tackles multiple committed relationship rules at once!
11. Don’t slack off
If you buy your partner chocolate or flowers every Friday, keep the tradition going. Whatever you did at the beginning of the relationship, continue to do it. If not, your partner might wonder why it’s stopped and if they’ve done something wrong. [Read: Understanding what makes a good relationship good]
12. Like what your partner does
Try to respect and appreciate it, at least. You don’t have to like that they still play Pokemon or wrestle on the weekends, but you do have to appreciate the passions in their life. If they love it, support them.
13. Don’t memorize the stereotypes
When you were younger, you read magazine sex articles and absorbed as much advice as possible. Don’t listen to old magazines for sex advice. You’ll be setting yourself up for unreachable expectations and feelings of failure.
Be comfortable with what you’ve got. Your significant other hasn’t complained, right?
14. Thoughtfulness goes a long way
People tend to forget the importance of small things. Pay attention to your partner and listen to them when they’re having a bad day. There is nothing more meaningful than truly caring about your partner. [Read: How to express your appreciation to someone you love]
15. You can’t fix them
Your partner is flawed, and so are you. Going into a relationship in hopes of fixing and molding them into your ideal person isn’t going to happen. Love them for how they are – flaws and all.
If you’re trying to fix your partner, you’re with the wrong person.
16. Leave ego out of it
Ego has no place in any relationship. You and your partner should treat each other as equals, no matter where or what either of you came from. You are no better than your partner in your relationship, and they’re no better than you.
17. Learn from each other
There are so many ways to do this, making it one of the better committed relationship rules.
Maybe your partner is a history buff, but you’re more of a grammarian. Perhaps they never learned how to scramble eggs, and you have no idea how to change your windshield wipers. The amount of knowledge that can be exchanged is practically endless!
You don’t just have to learn from each other, either. Make sure that you take some time to learn about each other. [Read: 60 deep & fun get to know you questions]
18. Think about your partner before making big decisions
As we’ve mentioned, you’re in a partnership now. Your decisions no longer only affect you. Before, you could have taken the job across the country without consulting anyone else. You could have brought home a new puppy to spoil and love.
But what if your partner’s job won’t allow them to relocate? What if they’re allergic to dogs?
If you’re serious about your relationship, this is the most necessary of the committed relationship rules. Consider your partner, or prepare to lose them.
19. Have sex every time that you possibly can
Sex isn’t only great for the health benefits and better sleep. It’s essential to fostering a good relationship. Physical intimacy is directly linked to emotional connection.
The healthier your sex life is, the healthier your relationship will be. Increasing the amount of sex that you have is easily the most fun of the committed relationship rules.
20. Work past your insecurities
Insecurities can manifest in all kinds of negative ways in your relationship. If you have low self-esteem, you might consider yourself to be unlovable and find yourself questioning your partner’s motives. If you have deep trust issues, you might find yourself assuming that your partner isn’t being faithful. [Read: How to date someone with trust issues]
This is to say that insecurities are vultures that feed on making you feel less than others. They wreak havoc on your relationship by causing tension that’s usually unnecessary.
If you have serious insecurities, make sure that you communicate with your significant other about them so that you can get a handle on them together.
[Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
Being in a committed relationship is hard. Both parties have to actively contribute to making it the happiest and healthiest love possible. Implementing these committed relationship rules, however, will definitely make that task a little easier!
The post 28 Committed Relationship Rules & Signs to Make Love Last Forever is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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