Do you constantly feel like a fraud? Do you feel that you’re unworthy? That you’re living a lie or putting on a front? You might have imposter syndrome.
We have all been in a situation where we feel that we’re in over our heads. Whether it’s your first day on the job or you’re presenting yourself to a group as an authority, some things alter our self-image and make us wonder who and what we really are. Imposter syndrome is having an extreme fear that you’ll be found out as a fake, even though you aren’t.
Imposter syndrome is a condition in which someone who is highly intelligent or excels in a specific area doesn’t have the ability to internalize their own accomplishments. In not being able to do so, they don’t feel worthy of the respect, adoration, or authority they receive.
Because they don’t recognize their many gifts and talents, they feel as though if someone knew the real them, they would certainly figure them out as a fraud. [Read: 26 ways to be yourself and love it]
What causes imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome does not discriminate. Absolutely anyone can be burdened with it regardless of background, social status, or education. There are several different factors that contribute to the onset of imposter syndrome and enhance its effects on one’s psyche.
1. Family upbringing
Maybe you were brought up in a family that puts a giant amount of value on winning and achievements. If your parents were wildly critical of everything you did, despite how well you did it, you might be susceptible to imposter syndrome.
This can also happen if you were parented under extreme over-protection, intense control, or low support. [Read: Ways to identify and deal with controlling people]
2. New opportunities at work or school
As exciting as new opportunities can be, they often trigger intense stress.
Being promoted to a new position at work can stir up questions of whether or not you’re truly adequate and deserving of the job. You might wonder if you’re even capable of performing the duties that have been given to you or achieving the successes that are expected of you.
Starting at a new school or going off to college can easily spark the same feelings, and the pressure and stress might have you succumbing to imposter syndrome quickly. [Read: 17 ways to reduce stress, calm down, and be happy]
3. Personality
Those with certain personality traits are more likely than others to experience imposter syndrome.
For example, if you’re a little bit neurotic, you’re more prone to having imposter syndrome due to your already high levels of anxiety and large number of insecurities. A perfectionist is also more likely to have imposter syndrome because of their high expectations of themselves.
4. Social anxiety
Social anxiety can play a significant role in imposter syndrome. [Read: Signs that you have social anxiety and how to overcome it]
If you have social anxiety, you already feel out of place. You might be overwhelmingly under-confident and doubt your abilities to perform in many types of social situations for fear of others discovering the same things that you’re thinking about yourself: you’re inadequate. and you don’t belong.
Social anxiety and imposter syndrome can often look the same, but be aware that they’re different.
Telltale signs you have a case of imposter syndrome
People with imposter syndrome go through their daily lives feeling as though they live a lie. They don’t feel that they deserve what they have and are convinced that they didn’t earn it. They are burdened with negative self-talk. [Read: How to practice positive self-talk and why it matters]
Consequently, they refuse to admit that their accomplishments have anything to do with who they are. They view their success as entirely external.
If you’re questioning whether or not you suffer from imposter syndrome, read these defining signs to help you figure it out.
1. You are a perfectionist
If you are a perfectionist and won’t give anything but 210 percent, then you just might have imposter syndrome.
Striving to do better than your best, you still never feel that what you do or what you have to give is good enough. [Read: How to finally get over the fear of not being good enough]
2. You always work overtime
You always work overtime to get it right, even beyond when it is right. You’re just working something to death when you already know the answer but keep going over it again and again. It won’t make it any more “right.” You just beat yourself up because you feel like a fake. [Read: How to stop overthinking – strategies for more peace]
3. You refuse to relish in your accomplishments
If you see all of your accomplishments and successes as something outside of yourself, you probably feel like a fake.
There are times when we all feel like we just came upon something thanks to sheer luck. If that is the way you feel about everything you have done, then you don’t take the credit you should. Hard work should definitely be recognized and celebrated rather than written off as happenstance.
4. You have an extreme fear of failure
We all fear failure, but if you have an extreme and unrealistic fear of it, then you have a case of imposter syndrome. [Read: Fear of failure and why you shouldn’t be afraid to fail]
5. You disconnect from any praise thrown your way
If you refuse to accept any compliments or praise, then you don’t think you are worthy. You can’t seem to acknowledge that your achievements are your own and that you’re deserving of any accolades or recognition that you receive.
6. You feel like a fake
It’s easy to feel that if anyone knew what you were really like, what goes on in your head, how insecure you are, or how much doubt you have, they certainly wouldn’t ever think highly of you. You feel guilty, and you shouldn’t. [Read: How to forgive yourself free yourself of guilt]
7. You always attribute your successes to luck
You were just in the right place at the right time. Do you really think that you never earned your success, fought your way to the top, or studied your ass off? Things just all lined up, right?
We know that the likelihood of that happening is minimal at best. The stars very rarely align for anyone in such ways, and it’s time for you to realize that you’re probably not the one that they’re aligning for. Own your hard work. Don’t give it all to luck.
8. You are a high achiever and always have been
It isn’t that you just woke up one day and decided to put your nose to the grindstone to get what you wanted.
You have always been a driven, hard worker and highly intelligent. It just came so naturally that you didn’t recognize that you worked your ass off to achieve what you have.
9. You have very little confidence in your performance
If you feel like you pretend to be someone confident while you shrivel inside with insecurity, then you probably feel fake, and you definitely have imposter syndrome. [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]
10. You use charm to mask your feelings of insecurity
If you feel like you must have to distract people by using charm and wit so that they don’t see the real you, you hide the inner feelings of a fraud. Everyone has insecurities. Unfortunately, you can’t simply mask them with a fake persona. You absolutely have to address them.
11. You continually doubt yourself
If everything you put your name to causes angst, anxiety, and an overwhelming fear of failure, then you don’t believe you know what you are doing. [Read: 23 ways to kick feeling like a failure to the curb]
You live in a constant state of self-doubt, even when everyone around you is able to see your abilities.
12. You over-prepare and over-do
If you finished the test twenty minutes into it but are the last to hand it in because you had go over it a thousand times, you might have imposter syndrome.
Ways to overcome imposter syndrome
It’s neither healthy nor fun to find yourself continually feeling like a fake. You should be able to enjoy your success! You shouldn’t be hiding, trying not to be “found out.”
There are plenty of ways to learn how to relish in your successes and be proud of who you are. If you have imposter syndrome, take a look at some of the many ways to overcome it.
1. Accept your accomplishments
If you don’t start to see your accomplishments as something that you achieved, you aren’t ever going to recognize that you played a huge part in getting where you are. [Read: 15 feel-good secrets to feeling better about yourself]
2. Take luck out of the equation
Stop putting luck into the equation. Luck is not responsible for your achievements. You and your dedication, hard work, and relentless drive can take credit for those.
3. Note the number of people who have positive things to say about you
People don’t pass out compliments for no reason. The more people who attest to your positive attributes, the more you can be confident that they are right. Even if you have a hard time believing in yourself, no one else around you does.
If you can focus on what everyone else thinks about you rather than what you think of yourself, you might start adopting those positive thoughts as your own. [Read: 20 ways to feel better about yourself]
4. Stop comparing yourself to others
You are the only person that you should compare yourself to and the only competition that you should worry about. If you outdo yourself time and time again, you’re winning against your biggest competition.
Don’t allow the fear of being outdone to negate your talents or diminish your accomplishments. [Read: How to overcome the things that keep you stuck]
5. Being wrong doesn’t make you a fake
Everyone is wrong at some point. That doesn’t erase all the times that you’ve been right. Stop focusing on the negative, and accept the positive.
6. Recognize that everyone second-guesses themselves
We all second-guess ourselves at times. No one is perfect. Everyone harbors doubts about who and what we are. We question whether or not we’re doing the right things, saying the right things, or nurturing the right friendships. It’s just human nature. [Read: 26 ways to eliminate self-doubt]
7. Find someone to confide in
If you let your secret out of the bag, it won’t be a secret anymore. But if you can confide in someone and hear yourself say it out loud, you just might hear the error of your ways.
8. Realize that we all fake it
We ALL fake it! Every one of us has felt that we don’t know what we are doing. Whether it’s being a parent and winging it, being the newbie at the office, or teaching a class for the first time, we ALL faked it at some point. The key now is to let go of the fake feelings that your imposter syndrome brought on.
Let go of those past feelings and look toward a happier future. [Read: Secrets to let go of the past and get excited about the future]
9. Talk to your mentors
Share your feelings! Talk to the people that you look up to and admire, and let them know what you’re feeling.
The chances are that you’re not alone in at least some aspects of your imposter syndrome. It will feel so good to finally let someone know what’s going on in your mind and even better to understand that you’re not the only one with those thoughts.
10. Recognize your expertise
If you continue to excel in certain areas of your life, focus on that thing. Use it to help yourself realize that you are genuinely good at it, not just lucky. If you find what you’re good at, it’s way easier to credit yourself for those accomplishments. [Read: 36 secrets to motivate yourself and achieve anything]
If you’re a runner and you constantly finish in the top five at your races, you have to see that it’s not luck that got you there. It’s all the miles you ran before this race and the dedicated training that you put in to strengthen your body.
11. Change your thinking
This might be the most difficult way to overcome your imposter syndrome. You can’t suddenly change the way you’ve always thought or felt about yourself, but you can gradually reframe it.
Start by saying two or three good things about yourself each morning. The more you say those things out loud and the more you hear them, the more you’ll start to believe them and the more positive you’ll be.
[Read: 24 ways to be more positive and have a happier life]
12. Talk to someone who can help
If you truly feel at a loss and like you have nowhere to turn, find a therapist.
A therapist can help you discover precisely where your negative thoughts are rooted and teach you ways to tackle them one by one. They can help you to overcome your imposter syndrome effectively, and they’ll have you feeling confident and adequate in no time.
Types of imposter syndrome
Imposter syndrome is not a one size fits all sort of thing. Everyone experiences it differently, though there are five main types that generally cover the ways that most people manifest it.
1. The perfectionist
This type of imposter syndrome experience is truly full of self-hatred. [Read: Figure out why you hate yourself and how to stop]
No matter how great you do whatever you’re doing, it’s absolutely not good enough. If it’s not better than perfect, it’s essentially trash. If you’re a perfectionist, you have unattainable expectations and are truly setting yourself up for devastating failure – even though you’ll only be failing yourself.
2. The superwoman/man
You have to work harder than anyone else, do more than anyone else, and achieve more than anyone else. The whole world is your competition, and you’re nothing if you’re not more accomplished. If you can’t beat everyone around you, you think you’re a failure. [Read: Ways to manage your expectations and realize that you’re good enough]
3. The natural genius
A person with this type of imposter syndrome is naturally gifted in several areas. It’s like they were practically born a great artist, a talented basketball player, and very smart in math and history.
When they suffer in science or don’t pick up on softball immediately, it’s devastating. They believe that they need to have a natural ability to learn to do anything quickly, or they’re simply a no-good fraud. They think that if they don’t get something the first time around, they never will.
4. The soloist
If you constantly do things on your own because you feel that you should be able to accomplish everything on your own, you might fit into this type of imposter syndrome.
You might feel unable to ask for or accept help in a lot of situations because you genuinely believe that you should be able to do it by yourself, and your insecurities have you questioning your competence if you can’t.
[Read: 15 ways to stop being so insecure and transform your life]
5. The expert
The expert needs to know everything about everything. They want to be the authority on any subject before they speak about it.
Because it’s nearly impossible to know every detail of any topic, they constantly feel as though they’re an imposter. They think that they’re just pretending to have extensive knowledge of something, but because they don’t know absolutely everything, they might as well know nothing.
How imposter syndrome affects you
Imposter syndrome definitely has vast and harsh effects in many different areas of a person’s life. It can hinder you socially and personally, but it can truly have devastating effects professionally, academically, and in relationships.
The self-loathing and controlling tendencies of imposter syndrome can be exhausting. [Read: 20 ways to tell if you have control issues]
1. Professionally
If you find yourself putting forth more effort into a task than its worth, it could seriously affect your ability to perform other necessary tasks efficiently and in a timely manner.
Everyone loves a hard worker who takes their job seriously and wants to perform well, but turning an hour-long project into a day-long project is a bit of an overkill and isn’t very beneficial to the business.
2. Academically
Imposter syndrome can have grave effects on one’s academic performance. Maybe you’ve always done incredibly well in school and are just starting college. The pressure that you put on yourself to maintain the high academic standards that everyone has for you might just be too much to handle.
You might fold and break down at the thought of failure before you even give yourself a chance to succeed. [Read: Easy steps to help yourself find success]
3. In relationships
In relationships, imposter syndrome can rear its ugly head in a number of ways. For example, the debilitating insecurities that come along with imposter syndrome can instill a very serious fear for your romantic relationships.
You might worry that your partner will discover that you’re not as great as they thought you were and start behaving irrationally. [Read: How to stop being insecure and transform your life]
The real truth about imposter syndrome is that the only people who are truly faking it are the ones who never think they are. Start recognizing your greatness! Use these tips to combat imposter syndrome and feel better in no time.
The post Imposter Syndrome: 36 Causes, Signs, Types & Ways to Stop Feeling Fake is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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