If you’ve never heard of orgasmic meditation, sit down and buckle up. You’re about to learn everything about it, from where it came from to how it’s done.
Are you looking for something new to try in the bedroom? Maybe you’re just really interested in knowing how you could possibly combine mindful meditation with getting your rocks off. Either way, we have a treat for you. Orgasmic meditation is the perfect blend of finding your balance and finding your pleasure – we’re going to talk all about it.
What is orgasmic meditation?
Orgasmic meditation is a well-known mindfulness masturbation technique with a bit of a sordid beginning. [Read: 67 sensual erotic massage techniques & tips to arouse and give an orgasm]
Nicole Daedone was at a party when she met a monk who showed her the meditation technique she later developed into orgasmic meditation, referred to as OM by its followers.
Daedone founded her company, OneTaste, in 2004. She started out with smaller classes in San Francisco until OneTaste and its techniques blew up thanks to a 2009 feature in the New York Times.
The company itself has been tainted by accusations of sexual assault, monetary exploitation, and general cult-like activity.
Regardless, orgasmic meditation is Daedone’s masterpiece in which one can experience the ultimate spiritual and sexual awakening.
It’s a partner-based clitoral-rubbing technique performed during meditation, and it has a pretty strict set of rules. Women are told to focus only on the sensation, their body, and their pleasure for the duration of the fifteen-minute exercise.
What’s so special about that? Will it bring you sexual enlightenment or, at the very least, a mind-blowing orgasm? [Read: How to have spiritual sex & experience sexual pleasure beyond orgasms]
Maybe, but maybe not.
The goal isn’t to climax. The intent is to feel and be present. For men, the intent is to learn to be more sensitive to the needs of women.
With or without climax, the benefits include a state of deep calm, a feeling of closeness with your partner, and serious pleasure. The action has even been heralded as extremely therapeutic, according to its advocates.
Is orgasmic meditation the same as traditional meditation?
Meditation is meditation if you want to be technical about it.
Meditation has religious roots and was originally practiced as an aid to spiritual development. More recently, meditation has taken on a looser form. People meditate to ground themselves, reduce stress and anxiety, and become more self-aware.
Orgasmic meditation is the child of meditation and the climactic experience.
It’s certainly still a type of meditation since the practice is centered on being present and experiencing the sensations. It’s a way for you to connect with yourself on a deeper level. Orgasmic meditation wants to connect your mind and body. [Read: 25 ways to emotionally connect with someone & instantly feel closer]
Of course, orgasmic meditation might be a bit more intimate than your run-of-the-mill meditation.
What’s the difference between orgasmic meditation and normal stimulation?
Despite the fact that both orgasmic meditation and normal stimulation are, in fact, stimulating, there are a few significant differences between the two.
The first and biggest is that orgasmic meditation isn’t focused on an orgasm. Climaxing isn’t the point. Some women do, and some women don’t. The goal of orgasmic meditation is to help both the stroker and the strokee notice the stimulation.
You shouldn’t go into orgasmic meditation with the intention of having an orgasm. If you do, that’s great, but the most important thing is that you’re grounded and in sync with your partner.
Secondly, normal stimulation tends to be a give-and-take situation for each person.
With orgasmic meditation, you’re essentially only taking as the strokee and giving as the stroker. The focus is solely on the receiver, and there’s no expectation of returning the favor. [Read: Sexy tips – how to get a selfish lover to be more giving]
Why you should try orgasmic meditation
It’s a common belief that orgasmic meditation can help women who have difficulty achieving orgasm. Because the focus is solely on the woman, she’s able to fully concentrate on her own body and sexual pleasure. Orgasmic meditation allows her to really figure out how to become more in tune with her body.
That said, the benefits for men are extensive, too.
Practicing orgasmic meditation requires a lot of trust, which can help to form a deeper and stronger connection between partners who use this technique in their sex lives.
The meditative part is beneficial for both parties. Some men claim that they notice feelings of warmth, electricity, and even a “golden light” flowing through their bodies when they take part in the practice. Many strokers feel a faint buzzing in their finger during the meditation. [Read: What spiritually happens when you sleep with someone]
How to try orgasmic meditation
As we mentioned earlier, orgasmic meditation started out with small classes in California.
OneTaste blew up and hosted several events with thousands upon thousands of attendees. The classes, workshops, and retreats were a hit.
Despite the fact that OneTaste has dissolved, you can still participate in some *pretty pricey* coaching sessions via their sister company, the Institute of OM.
They offer a three-session orgasmic meditation training that can be completed online with the guidance of a coach. If you’re really feeling brave and want to truly immerse yourself in the practice, this is definitely the way to go.
OR you can try orgasmic meditation in the comfort of your own home with the help of some handy instructional videos. [Read: Top 50 kinky sex ideas worth trying at least once in your lifetime!]
There are plenty of in-depth videos floating around the internet. These videos provide a better picture and deeper look at how to really perform orgasmic meditation. They offer step-by-step instructions and really dive into the meditative purpose.
As mentioned, orgasmic meditation is a very specific practice with an unrelenting set of rules. If you want to try it in your own home, there are some things you’ll need to know:
1. The space
Orgasmic meditation is done in a rigidly detailed way.
The meditation position requires what practitioners refer to as a “nest.” The nest can be made anywhere on the floor, made more comfortable by a blanket or yoga mat if necessary.
You’ll need a pillow to put under the receiver’s head and one for the giver to sit on. There’s a little flexibility with the nest because the goal is for both of you to be comfortable and relaxed.
Lights should be left on throughout the process to help keep open lines of communication between partners. [Read: 42 secrets to communicate better in a relationship & ways to fix a lack of it]
Setting up and taking down the nest is an important part of the ritual, so don’t skip it.
2. The position
The receiver, or “strokee,” lies on her back with her legs butterflied open, undressed from the waist down. The knees are bent, and the legs are splayed wide apart.
The giver, or “stroker,” sits on the woman’s right side with his left leg over her stomach. The right leg should be extended outward in a comfortable position underneath her right leg.
From here, he’s able to make eye contact with her but is still able to fully concentrate on what he’s doing and where he’s touching.
3. The pregame
Orgasmic medidation encourages communication. [Read: Handkerchief code – how to communicate sexual desires with a hanky]
Before the session even begins, it’s suggested that you take a few moments to be in the moment together. Acknowledge the intent, and acknowledge that this is not a sexual act with the expectation of reciprocation. Take some breaths together.
The stroker is encouraged to talk to the strokee throughout.
First, they describe what they’re seeing. This is an unusual act for most of us, but it brings an added level of intimacy to the practice.
Having your own vagina described to you or having to describe your partner’s vagina must be a wildly vulnerable experience, but it’s through that vulnerability that the deepest meditative connection is formed.
He’ll describe what he sees in the most literal terms. He could use words that depict colors and shapes, for example.
Second, the stroker makes his actions known. In orgasmic meditation, this is referred to as “safeporting.”
Since a huge focal point of the exercise is the comfort and safety of the strokee, it’s stressed that the stroker should communicate what they’re going to do before they do it.
They’re encouraged to get verbal consent and use a calm and steady voice to make the woman feel secure and assured that there will be no unexpected surprises. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]
After the stroker describes what he sees, he uses a technique referred to as “grounding” by massaging the strokees legs and thighs. This helps to connect her to the moment and get her in the right mindset.
4. The act
After everybody is settled and ready to go, the stroker puts some lube on his finger, and the timer begins.
Yes, orgasmic meditation is a timed practice. The initial, more intensive part of the experience is thirteen minutes and is followed by a two-minute cool-down period.
For the thirteen minutes, the stroker focuses on the upper left quadrant of the clitoris. He is to use very gentle and soft touches in a repetitive up-and-down motion.
During this time, they’re encouraged to communicate if necessary. She’s welcome to tell the stroker if the pressure is too hard or too soft, and he’s able to ask for confirmation as to whether or not the pressure is okay for her.
Another important part of the communication is that the stroker is told to express appreciation for any direction that he’s given. [Read: What does an orgasm feel like?]
The stillness of the body is also important.
Many women have even commented that they were surprised by the stillness of their own bodies while participating in orgasmic meditation. It’s likely because the sudden stillness is a large contrast to the movements that occur during sex. The lack of movement gives her a chance to really hone in on how her body feels at any given moment.
During the two-minute cool-down period, the stroker goes from an up-and-down stroke to only stroking downward.
This helps the strokee to start returning to her grounded state and kind of come back down to earth.
5. The after
After the two-minute timer has gone off and the intensive portion of orgasmic meditation is done, another grounding process occurs. This time, the stroker places his entire palm over the strokee’s vagina and firmly presses down. [Read: Questions about female sexuality – finally answered!]
This is a necessary step because the vagina is so hyperstimulated at this point. This action helps to bring each of you out of the meditative state and back to your normal self.
It’s perfectly okay to have sex after orgasmic meditation if that’s what you want to do.
However, it’s highly recommended that you tear down the nest before engaging in other sexual activity. This keeps a firm line drawn between sex and orgasmic meditation.
Another recommended step is called “frame sharing.” Each partner picks a particular moment during the session that really stood out to them and describes the feeling. Frame sharing really helps to enhance the impact of the session and general communication.
Does practicing orgasmic meditation guarantee an orgasm?
Keeping in mind that an orgasm is NOT what you should participate in orgasmic meditation for, the consensus is that sometimes it happens, and sometimes it doesn’t.
Some women claim to have had the most intense orgasms of their lives during their orgasmic meditation sessions. Others say they didn’t experience anything close to an orgasm.
Many women have reported other strange yet positive effects. Some have said that they feel warm, tingling sensations, while others claim that it feels like a bolt of lightning.
For some, it’s nothing more than a deeply relaxing and spiritual experience, the effects of which last for hours or more after they’ve finished. [Read: Eye contact during sex will take your orgasm to the next level]
Of course, there are those who aren’t the biggest fans of orgasmic meditation. Those who don’t like it often refer to the practice as feeling too clinical or simply strange.
As with any sexual experience, there are lovers and haters. It’s all about finding out what’s right for you and your partner.
If orgasmic meditation is something that you both love, great! If it brings you closer together, gives you an amazing otherworldly spiritual enlightenment, or simply gets you off, then you should go ahead and enjoy it!
However, if it doesn’t float your boat or makes you feel awkward, uncomfortable, or just plain bored, then move on to the next thing. [Read: 16 of the most common and weird fetishes]
Benefits of orgasmic meditation
The benefits of orgasmic meditation are vast.
The Institute of OM has done a healthy spread of studies that focus on the practicer’s overall feelings, but several studies actually rely on results directly from the brain.
The neuroimaging studies show interestingly different results between the male and the female participants.
The male pattern shows increased feelings of focus and effortlessness, which they describe as “a sense of being alert while letting go.” The female pattern indicates feelings of peacefulness and connectedness.
Aside from the viewable changes in brain matter, the benefits of orgasmic meditation are similar to and expand upon the benefits of traditional meditation.
1. Increases emotional and spiritual connection with your partner
Given that the entire point of orgasmic meditation is an increased connection, it’s no surprise that this is one of the biggest benefits. [Read: What turns women on? 52 traits to turn girls on sexually & emotionally]
Practitioners are said to experience greater emotional and spiritual connections, both with their partners and themselves.
The closeness felt between partners is the direct result of sharing such a positive intimate experience, and it has little to do with sexual feelings. In fact, the responses more closely mirror the responses to spiritual experiences rather than sexual ones.
2. Improves sexual responsivity and pleasure for people with pelvic pain, sexual trauma, low arousal, etc.
Orgasmic meditation is said to work wonders for anyone with a variety of sexual difficulties.
Some women who claim to be unable to orgasm or enjoy sex at all report an increase in sexual arousal overall. This is likely due to the intense focus on her own body.
Some women never feel a remote connection to their bodies in this way until they participate in a practice that’s focused on it. [Read: How to feel more confident in your body & fall in love with YOU]
3. Reduces stress and anxiety
A reduction in stress and anxiety come from the meditative state of orgasmic meditation. For fifteen minutes, you’re told to let go and be present while being on the receiving or giving end of an extremely focused activity.
It’s difficult to allow your mind to wander, so you’re forced to ground yourself.
4. Brings a new type of lovemaking into your erotic repertoire, which combines the mind, heart, and body
As intimate as sex can be, there are probably very few sexual experiences that can match orgasmic meditation in terms of true intimacy and vulnerability.
Sex isn’t often equated to spirituality, so combining the two creates an entirely different realm.
Orgasmic meditation is an interesting practice and has been proven to give some women levels of sexual enjoyment that they thought they might never experience. It’s not for everyone, but then again, no sex act is!
The post Orgasmic Meditation: What It Is, How It Works, Steps to Try It & the Benefits is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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