Platonic Crush: What It Means, 22 Signs, Pros, Cons & What to Do About It

Have you had a platonic crush before? You probably have, but you may not have even known it. Here’s why this kind of relationship is so great.

Having a crush on someone doesn’t always mean you want to date them. In fact, you can have a platonic crush and be head over heels for someone – as friends. 

If you’ve ever watched someone from a distance and just wanted to be their friend very badly, you know how it feels to have this type of crush.

But how do you proceed when you have these feelings? Believe it or not, there are far more people out there who’ve had a platonic crush than would admit it. 

Why? Because sometimes it’s more embarrassing to admit you really want a friendship with someone than it is to admit you want to be involved with them romantically.

The power of a good friendship

As you get older, you lose friends. That’s just how life works for several reasons. [Read: BIG secrets to make lifelong friends and create a bond that lasts a lifetime]

When you’re young, you become friends with people who like the same things as you. If they like pizza, you’re their friend. If they like kickball, you befriend them.

But when you grow up and realize that a good friendship is so much more than common interests, you end up with far fewer friends. Making a connection with someone on a platonic level is rare. 

There aren’t many people who share your values and beliefs. For that reason, you need to make sure you’re going forward and securing a friendship with anyone you have a platonic crush on. [Read: How to make real friends outside your social network]

What is a platonic crush? 

Platonic crushes are also known as “squishes.” It happens when you want to be in a close relationship or friendship with someone, but there is no sexual attraction.

They are particularly prevalent among asexuals and demisexuals. However, anyone can have a platonic crush. They could even last for years after coming out of a romantic relationship.

A platonic crush is about the closest thing to having a romantic partner. But the only difference is that there is no sexual tension. [Read: Platonic friendship – what it is, 42 rules and ways to avoid the sexual drama]

With this “squish,” it means that you enjoy their company immensely, want to spend time with them, and see them happy.

You could even feel jealousy if you see them with another person or feel disappointed if they start dating someone else. But it’s not because you want to date them. You just want to spend as much time as you can with them.

People can have platonic crushes for friends, family members, teachers, or celebrities. The only requirement is that you want the other person to like and appreciate you too. [Read: Platonic marriage – what it is and why it’s okay to marry and live as just friends]

If you have a platonic crush, you should try to not let it affect your friendship. It’s fine to admire someone, but don’t expect to get any romantic feelings.

What’s the difference between a platonic crush and a romantic crush? 

Both the platonic and romantic crush means you really, really like someone and get giddy being around them. You love spending time with them and enjoy their company a lot.

But having a romantic crush means that you want to be with that person as more than friends. You want to date them and have them be your romantic partner. [Read: Squish – what it means, 25 squishing signs, and how it’s different from a crush]

In fact, you probably fantasize about kissing them, cuddling, holding hands, and even having sex. With a platonic crush, you don’t think about them in a sexual way.

Pros and cons of having a platonic crush

As with anything in life, there are pros and cons to having a platonic crush. So let’s look at some of them.

Pros

1. Less stress

Platonic relationships aren’t about sex or social pressures. You don’t have to worry about when you’re going to get married or have kids. [Read: Friend crush – what it is, the signs you have one, and what to do next]

Instead, you can just focus on accepting your platonic partner and know they accept you.

You can also know that your platonic crush has your back and you have theirs. You’re there for each other and support and love each other. And you don’t have to worry about being attractive or an idealized version of yourself.

2. Better communication

Not everyone has good communication skills. [Read: Mars and Venus? Obvious gender differences in communication]

And in a romantic relationship, sometimes it’s even more difficult to communicate effectively with one another because your competing needs and emotions tend to run higher.

So, in a platonic relationship, you can build great communication skills because your partner is more interested in what you have to say rather than sexual and physical closeness. You can also show compassion and freely express how you’re feeling.

3. Deeper trust

With effective communication, you and your platonic crush can build deeper trust because there is less sexual tension in the relationship. You’re less inclined to be worried that your partner will cheat on you. [Read: I have trust issues – 18 baby steps to start dating and open your heart to love]

Platonic relationships are friendships on the next level. You both can put your ego aside and really invest in your partner for their own benefit, and they do the same for you.

4. Better health

Platonic crush relationships tend to be more peaceful than romantic ones. Because of this, you have less stress too. And when you have low stress in your life, your health is better.

You are confident that your partner won’t break up with you or cheat on you, so you don’t constantly worry. [Read: 17 life secrets to smile more often, feel great, and laugh your stress away]

Also, your partner will probably encourage you to take care of your health too.

Cons

1. You could fall in love with them

Just because a relationship is platonic doesn’t mean that it will remain that way forever. One or both of you could fall in love with the other person. 

While that can turn out to be wonderful, then you will have all the problems that come with romantic relationships. [Read: 21 BIG secrets to get over a crush on someone and feel desirable again]

Then it could get more complicated, and losing that platonic connection can hurt.

2. It could turn sexual

Even if you don’t fall in love with your platonic crush, it could still turn sexual. There are plenty of people in the world who are friends with benefits. While some people can handle that, some can’t.

Even if both people have no intention of getting attached to the other one in a romantic way, it could happen. And what’s even worse is if only one person feels it. [Read: How to tell when a FWB is catching feelings – 20 signs they like you]

3. The relationship could completely end

If it doesn’t work out between the two of you when you push for the relationship to become romantic, you will feel the same way you would if they betrayed you or cheated on you.

The best way to move to a romantic relationship with your platonic crush is to be upfront and discuss everything. You both have to be on the same page about transitioning into romance, and neither of you should feel pressured.

What having a platonic crush means and how you should proceed

Do you know how having a platonic crush feels? If not, we’ve got you covered. Here’s everything you need to know about having a platonic crush and what you should do about those friendly feelings. [Read: Platonic sex – what is it? Is it even possible? Sex without attraction?]

How do you know if it’s a platonic crush?

First, we have to figure out if what you’re feeling is actually a crush of platonic nature. If you’ve felt the below things, it’s definitely a platonic crush and you should make moves to secure that friendship.

1. You agree with almost everything they say

This isn’t because you want them to like you. If it’s truly a platonic crush, you agree with almost everything they say because they share your opinions. 

They say a TON of things you resonate with deeply and that’s why you agree with them. [Read: 20 signs of a people pleaser and how to spot one]

2. You frequently check their social media

If you’ve found this person on social media and have a platonic crush on them, you’ll be all over their feed. 

You’ll go to their profile for updates and you may even turn on their notifications. That’s all because you want to know what they’re up to. Their ventures are of interest to you.

3. You value their opinion highly

If you seek approval through this person, it’s definitely a platonic crush. [Read: Strictly platonic – why you should never use the word friendzone]

This isn’t so much about you being someone they like, but it’s more about their opinions and thoughts being of value to you. That’s why you care about what they think about you.

4. You have a strong desire to get to know them on a deeper level

This is a very similar feeling you get when you meet someone you may want to date. 

Except with a platonic crush, it only has to do with friendship. It could be this type of crush if you just want to talk to them and get to know them deeper. [Read: How long does it really take to get to know someone?]

5. You idolize them in a way

If you have a platonic crush, you basically hold a person up on a pedestal. You met them, talked to them, and now you look up to them. It’s like you care for them as a good friend before you’re even friends. That feeling is what a platonic crush is.

6. But you don’t want to get in their pants

You can have a platonic crush on literally anybody. It doesn’t have to be a specific gender and it can even be someone you’re typically attracted to romantically. The difference is that you’re not at all into them in those ways. [Read: Platonic rules to have a great friendship]

What to do when you have a platonic crush

So, you’ve determined you have a platonic crush on this person, what next? While you may think it’s easy to start a friendship, it can be a little more complicated than just saying, “hello.”

1. Ease your way into it

If you go full force at someone trying to make them your friend, it’ll come off as creepy. They’ll get weirded out and you’ll give off a stalker vibe. 

Think about how you made your current friends. You eased into it. You got to know them and eventually became friends. [Read: 18 insightful reasons why you don’t have any friends]

2. Strike up a casual conversation

If you’re around your platonic crush, just strike up some casual conversation. If the two of you have things in common and vibe well, it’ll likely turn into something more than just chatting about the weather.

3. Forget the fact that you’re crushing 

Chances are, you’re pretty excited about this person. They might make you nervous and your desire to be their friend could cause you to act a little crazy. [Read: Sexual tension between friends – handle it like a platonic pro]

So just forget about the fact that you like them so much. Just focus on talking to them.

4. Invite them to hang out sometime

If you’re vibing well and getting along, invite them to hang out sometime. Your best bet for this is to ask them to do something you know they’d like. 

If you were just talking about how great live music is, tell them you know a great place and they should go with you sometime. [Read: 32 crazy fun things to do with your friends]

5. Don’t force anything

When a conversation is forced, it’s super noticeable. It’ll make the exchange really uncomfortable. So don’t force the conversation to keep going. If it dies out, let it and try again some other time.

6. Ask them meaningful questions

Just like you would a romantic crush, you should be asking engaging questions to someone you want to get to know better. 

You can’t have a platonic crush without wanting to pick their brain about stuff. So do just that! [Read: 30 meaningful questions to ask someone to get to know the real them]

7. Don’t try too hard

Same as forcing conversation, trying too hard will be obvious. You’ll come across as fake and like you’re just trying to get them to like you. Both of which aren’t good.

8. Just be yourself

Don’t try to be someone else just because you want to be someone’s friend. If you do, the friendship won’t be real and won’t last long. and Being yourself is the only way to attract the type of people who will stay in your life. [Read: Ways to bring out the best in you and find your true self]

9. Let it remain just a platonic crush

You can’t always be friends with each person you form a platonic crush on. In fact, you may form this type of crush after you meet briefly at a bar and never see that person again. So, if you’re not able to be friends, just accept it.

 [Read: How to have a perfectly platonic relationship]

Having a platonic crush on someone is completely normal. It just means you’ve connected to someone on a deep, friendly level. If you want to keep that person in your life, follow the above tips!

The post Platonic Crush: What It Means, 22 Signs, Pros, Cons & What to Do About It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.