The Player Paradox: Why You Get Worse with Girls as You Get Better

Once you reach a certain level with women, you encounter a new snag: girls like you, but are skeptical of you. To move past this, you’ll need to shed the mantle of “The Player.”

As you become more experienced with women, you will see better results.

Contents

I. Introduction

II. How to Tell You’re in the Player Paradox

1. But I wasn’t in college anymore!

2. Step 1: Balance Attraction

3. Step 2: “Git Gud”

III. Recap

More girls give you approach invitations, and they enjoy your approaches. They give you their number and go on a date with you. They sleep with you quickly. And it’s a great feeling when you level up. But it’s not all harems and orgasms. There will be a time that you hit a wall.

You’ll start to see some odd things happen:

• Girls will give you signals and flirt, but then they’ll disappear once you begin the seduction and even after you believe you hit the hook point.

• She won’t respond to your first text, even though she was all over you when you first met.

• She will respond to your texts but is elusive when you try to set up a date. Although she responds with warmth and affection in her text, she always seems too busy to meet.

• The girls you go on dates with will be flirty but on-guard. You might make out with her, but when you try to get her home, it feels like you are trying to sell oil to a Saudi prince.

• Girls will react well, or you receive cold and bitchy responses. You experience very polarizing reactions.

These strange, counterintuitive results will pile up, and your confidence may plummet. You might begin to slide backward and have less success than when you were less experienced.

Girls will start to reject you outright. Then, your results will nosedive. You might get occasional successes, but you’ve hit a slump.

What’s going on? You’re better than that! You’re the man.

Well, if you really were the man, you’d know what’s going on and fix this problem (or never have it in the first place). You have some work to do if you want to get better. So, what’s the issue?

You’ve stumbled upon The Player Paradox (I need to trademark and copyright this phrase because it’s genius).

Feel Guilty All the Time? Causes, Signs, and Ways to Stop That Nagging Feeling

If you’re someone who always takes the blame no matter the situation, you might want to learn how to stop feeling guilty all the time.

There’s a lot one can feel guilty about in life. And if you’re someone who seems to take the blame from others even when it’s not your fault, you suffer a great deal more than most of us. It can even ruin your life if you don’t know how to stop feeling guilty all the time.

But there is hope because there is a way to shut the incessant, nagging voice of guilt going off inside your head at all hours. It might take some time and a lot of mental effort, but in order to better your life, it’s worth it. [Read: 70 true secrets to happiness to have a happy life & enjoy everything you do]

The Psychology of Guilt

Guilt: it’s a feeling as familiar as the awkward smile we offer when someone waves in our direction, only to realize they are greeting someone behind us.

We’ve all felt it at some point, but there’s a fine line between occasional feelings of guilt and it becoming a constant background noise in your life.

Guilt is like an internal moral compass, often alerting us when we’ve strayed from our ethical path. Psychologists define guilt as a complex emotion that arises when we believe we have caused harm, or violated a moral standard. It’s our psyche’s way of saying, “Hey, maybe think twice before doing that again.” [Read: 45 secrets to control your emotions, the psychology & steps to master it]

Not all guilt is created equal. Healthy guilt can be a constructive force, guiding us to rectify mistakes and uphold social norms. Think of it as a gentle nudge toward empathy and moral alignment. However, when guilt starts to feel like an uninvited guest that never leaves, it becomes unhealthy.

This type of guilt lingers and often isn’t proportional to the situation. It’s the difference between feeling guilty for five minutes because you accidentally took someone’s pen and feeling guilty all the time for things beyond your control.

Guilt can be a social glue, fostering cooperation and altruism. Studies show that guilt-prone individuals tend to be more empathetic and are often seen as more trustworthy. However, when guilt is excessive, it can strain relationships. [Read: Relationship stress: How it feels, 38 signs & best ways to fix it as a couple]

Imagine constantly apologizing for every little thing or avoiding decisions for fear of causing harm. It’s like walking on a tightrope of eggshells – stressful and unsustainable.

Living under the dark cloud of perpetual guilt can be a recipe for mental health challenges. Research links excessive guilt to a variety of issues, such as anxiety, depression, and even obsessive-compulsive disorder *OCD*.

A study in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology revealed that chronic guilt can be associated with anxiety, depression, and even obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

Individuals who frequently experience overwhelming guilt are prone to negative self-reflection and a pessimistic outlook, which can spiral into more serious mental health issues. [Read: Why we need to break down the stigma of mental illness]

Common Causes of Persistent Guilt

Now, let’s talk about the whys. Unraveling the common causes of persistent guilt helps us understand why some people might find themselves trapped in a cycle of feeling guilty all the time.

1. Unrealistic Self-Expectations and Perfectionism

Setting the bar impossibly high for yourself is a one-way ticket to persistent guilt. Perfectionists often feel guilty for not meeting their own unrealistic standards.

This relentless pursuit of flawlessness can turn every small mistake into a major guilt trip, leaving little room for self-compassion or realistic self-assessment. [Read: Dating a perfectionist: Things you must know before you date one]

2. Past Mistakes or Perceived Failures

Dwelling on past mistakes can often feel like you’re stuck replaying a blooper reel in your mind. People commonly loop these errors, leading to a sticky guilt that lingers long after the events themselves have become distant memories.

Each replay not only magnifies the guilt but also sets up mental roadblocks, making it tough to move on and learn. Imagine being in a car, but instead of driving forward, you’re just idling and watching the same scenery.

3. Upbringing and Cultural Factors

Did your parents often emphasize what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ do, making you feel guilty for stepping out of line? This kind of upbringing, where guilt is a frequent guest, can deeply embed the habit of feeling guilty all the time. [Read: Narcissist parents: What makes one, 55 signs, effects & how to cope with them]

Cultural norms play a big part too. In some cultures, maintaining harmony and fulfilling family expectations is so crucial that not doing so triggers a strong guilt response.

4. Psychological Conditions *e.g., Anxiety, Depression, OCD*

Psychological conditions can amplify feelings of guilt. For instance, anxiety can make you overestimate the impact of your actions, while depression can lead to negative self-perception, both fertile grounds for guilt.

In OCD, guilt can be tied to intrusive thoughts, leading to repetitive behaviors aimed at alleviating these guilty feelings. [Read: Relationship OCD: What it is & the big signs of a partner with OCD]

5. Traumatic Events

Trauma can leave a lasting imprint, often accompanied by survivor’s guilt or guilt over actions taken *or not taken* during a traumatic event.

This type of guilt can be particularly persistent, as it’s tied to deeply emotional and sometimes life-altering experiences.

6. Over-Responsibility for Others

There’s a tendency in some individuals to shoulder more than their fair share when it comes to the happiness and well-being of those around them. They often feel it’s their duty to keep everyone else content, and when things go south, a wave of guilt washes over them. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

The key issue here is the mismatch between what they can realistically influence or control and the enormous responsibility they feel for others’ emotional states.

7. Social Comparisons and Envy

In a world fueled by social media highlights, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life with others.

Such comparisons can foster feelings of inadequacy and guilt, especially when you perceive yourself as less successful or fortunate than your peers. [Read: The toxic dangers of social media & signs and ways it makes you insecure]

8. Fear of Letting People Down

The dread of disappointing others can be a powerful source of guilt. This fear often stems from a desire to be liked and accepted, leading to over-commitment and guilt when you can’t fulfill every expectation or request from those around you.

9. Neglecting Personal Values

Neglecting personal values can often lead to a nagging sense of guilt, like an internal alarm that goes off when your actions don’t align with your deeply held beliefs.

Imagine constantly acting against your own script – it creates an inner conflict that’s hard to ignore. This disconnect, like wearing a costume that doesn’t quite fit, can trigger persistent feelings of guilt.

It’s especially pronounced when you find yourself repeatedly compromising on issues or principles that are important to you.

10. Lack of Self-Care

Ironically, neglecting self-care can lead to feelings of guilt. When you don’t take adequate care of your mental and physical well-being, it can lead to a cycle of guilt about not being at your best, further exacerbating the neglect of self-care. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

The Key Signs of Guilt to Watch Out For

You might not even realize that what you’re feeling is guilt. It might just be a sense of something that you can’t put your finger on. In that case, let’s look at some key signs you might feel guilty all the time. Next, work out what to do about them.

1. You’re a People Pleaser

There is nothing wrong with helping others, but if you’re always looking for approval from other people, it’s time to ask yourself why.

This is a self-esteem issue and requiring validation from others basically means that you don’t trust yourself or value your own opinion. Get to work on building yourself up, loving yourself, and understanding that the only approval you need in life is your own. [Read: People pleaser: 21 signs you’re one & how to stop people pleasing]

2. You Agree With Others a Lot

Even if deep down you don’t agree with what someone is saying, you agree to their face. Disagreeing with other people is perfectly acceptable.

It means that you have your own opinions and it’s a sign of strength. There is nothing to feel guilty about here.

It loops back to the first point I made about wanting to please people. When you agree with someone, you’re looking to be part of their inner circle in many ways – just be part of your own. [Read: 41 signs & steps to stop caring what people think & start living your life]

3. Your Needs Always Come Second

Your needs are just as important as everyone else’s. There is a false narrative that in order to care about or love someone, their needs must always come before your own, but that’s a recipe for unhappiness.

Your own needs need to be met, while you shouldn’t be selfish and look after only yourself all the time, you should certainly make your own a priority too. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

4. You Would Rather Hurt Yourself Than Someone Else

In many ways, this isn’t a negative trait because it means that you’re not willing to hurt other people willingly, but sometimes in life it’s unavoidable.

Of course, you shouldn’t go around doing things which you know are going to bring pain to other people, but you also should accept that sometimes we hurt others without meaning to.

It’s likely that you will feel guilty all the time if you have to do this because that’s one of your traits, but it does’t mean you have to torture yourself. Right your wrongs, if there are any, and let it go.

5. You Feel Guilty For Having Your Own Needs

We need things from people, such as care, attention, and love. If you’re with someone who isn’t giving you these things, you’re likely to struggle asking for what you need.

6. Over-Apologizing for Minor Issues

If you find yourself repeatedly saying sorry for things that don’t typically warrant an apology, this could be a sign of guilt.

This behavior often stems from a fear of offending others or a deep-seated belief that you’re always in the wrong. It’s like carrying an umbrella even on sunny days, just in case you accidentally splash someone with a puddle. [Read: 28 heartfelt ways to say you’re sorry & apologize to someone you love]

7. Reluctance to Set Boundaries

Often, the inability to set healthy boundaries is deeply intertwined with feelings of guilt. If saying no or prioritizing your own needs makes you feel guilty, you may find yourself constantly overextending.

When you regularly put others’ needs ahead of your own, it can lead to a cycle of stress and exhaustion.

8. Chronic Self-Doubt

Chronic self-doubt is a common side effect of persistent guilt. If you’re always questioning your decisions or doubting your worth, guilt could be undermining your self-confidence.

These feelings can prevent you from recognizing and celebrating your achievements, creating a cycle of negative self-assessment.

9. Feeling Responsible for Others’ Happiness

Feeling overly responsible for the emotional well-being of others is a significant indicator of guilt. When you find yourself constantly trying to lift others’ spirits or solve their problems, it can be emotionally draining.

Remember, while it’s natural to care for others, understanding that everyone’s happiness is not solely in your hands is crucial for your own mental health. You’re not trying to be a superhero, are you? [Read: Hero complex: What it is, 39 signs & the psychology of “save the day” syndrome]

10. Difficulty Enjoying Personal Achievements

If you’re the type to brush off compliments, chalk up your successes to luck, or shrug away accolades, guilt might be pulling the strings behind the scenes.

It’s like you’re the star player in a game, but you keep passing the ball, never taking credit for the goals you score. This habit of undervaluing your own efforts and attributing success to external factors is often rooted in guilt.

How to Stop Feeling Guilty So You Can Finally Enjoy Life Again

Everyone deserves a great life. If you’ve been struggling with excessive guilt and can’t seem to get rid of it, we can help. These are our best tips for dealing with taking too much of everyone else’s burdens.

1. Let Go of Some Control

When you take control over everything, you’ll naturally hold onto more guilt when things don’t go your way. In order to get past this, you have to give up some of that control. Realize that you can’t make everything happen the way you want.

But that’s okay. Nobody can control every single outcome. It’s normal to want things to go a certain way and then feel guilty or awful when they don’t. If you realize that it’s not under your complete control, you’ll start to feel less guilty. [Read: 15 questions to reveal a controlling personality instantly]

2. Stop Blaming Yourself

When something goes wrong, you probably start berating yourself in your mind. Those who feel guilty do this often. No matter the situation, you find a way for it to somehow be your fault.

You have to stop that. More likely than not, it wasn’t your fault at all but rather, a combination of events you have little to no control over. Remember this and stop putting the blame solely on yourself.

3. Look at the Facts

Instead of getting in your head about this, just sit down and look at the facts. Step away from the situation and assess it as an outsider. What happened exactly to make things go wrong?

When you do this, you’re able to see things for what they are. Those of us who feel guilty often only look at stuff that directly affects us. We’re blind to the facts and those are what we need to find peace with ourselves. [Read: 55 secrets & self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

4. Talk to Someone

Holding everything inside is a terrible idea. If you’re truly feeling guilty about something – specifically something that affected someone close to you – just talk to them.

You’d be surprised how much of your guilt is solely in your own mind. So open up and talk to them. They can help you realize where your thinking is off and how you can get back on track to stop feeling so guilty.

5. Remember That You’re Not Responsible for Others

If you want to know how to stop feeling guilty, remember that your decisions are your own and someone else’s decisions are theirs. People who often feel guilty take on the responsibility of others when it’s not theirs at all. If you do this, just try to stop.

Repeat this to yourself and it’ll help a lot. Everyone makes their own choices and if something goes wrong, you’re not the one who should take the blame, especially if you were barely involved at all. It’s okay to feel bad for someone, just don’t feel guilty. [Read: 18 ways to free yourself and find more spontaneity in life]

6. Look at it From Another Perspective

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Would you still blame you if the roles were reversed? If not, then you shouldn’t feel guilty about what happened. You can’t blame yourself for something you wouldn’t blame someone else for.

So whenever you feel yourself feeling particularly guilty, simply look at it from a new perspective. Ask yourself how you would feel if the roles were reversed and this will help tremendously.

7. Look Deeper at the Situation

You might not truly be feeling guilty at all. Guilt is a very broad emotion if you think about it. Instead, you could feel resentment, dread, anxiety, or anything else other than guilt but you’re just defaulting to that as a means to keep yourself together.

Digest the situation in full. You’re allowed to feel more than one thing at once. You could feel guilty and upset with someone. You could have anxiety in addition to the guilt. Overall, looking deeper at what happened can help you learn more about yourself and this can help with the guilt. [Read: How to find your meaning when you feel like life is meaningless]

8. Ask Yourself What You Can Do About the Situation

If you’re trying to figure how to stop feeling guilty, just stop and think about what action you can take instead of worrying about how guilty you feel. Those who tend to feel guilty super easily usually don’t take much action at all.

Stop yourself and ask, “What can I do right now?” If you come up with an answer that works for you and will aid the situation, then do it. If you can’t do anything and you’re still feeling guilty, talk to someone.

9. Focus on Your Own Needs

You can’t only care about everyone else. You matter too and your feelings are valid. Those of us who feel way too guilty all the time tend to be very empathetic. We take on the emotions of others.

Obviously, that isn’t a good thing when it comes to your own feelings. You have to remember to take care of yourself first. That’s not selfish, that’s necessary. You can’t feel bad and guilty for everyone all the time. [Read: Stand up for yourself: Why it’s hard & steps to get what you want & deserve]

10. Remember That It’s Okay to Feel Guilty Sometimes

It’s normal and it’s okay. You can allow yourself to feel upset and guilty for a little while. The problem is when guilt is taking over your life for no good reason.

We all go through periods of time when we take on the guilt of others. That’s fine if you don’t allow it to get too excessive. Relax and work through the guilt so you can start living for yourself.

[Read: Should you feel guilty about cheating?]

Guilt Shouldn’t Be a Persistent Shadow Over Your Life

Living in a constant state of guilt is not only exhausting but also detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being. It’s important to recognize that while feeling guilty is a normal and natural emotion at times, it shouldn’t be a persistent shadow over your life.

[Read: 70 true secrets to happiness to have a happy life & enjoy everything you do]

If you find yourself feeling guilty all the time, it’s crucial to take steps towards addressing this. These tips and insights are designed to guide you on the journey to a healthier, guilt-free life. Remember, overcoming chronic guilt is not just about suppression but about understanding, accepting, and redirecting this emotion in constructive ways.

The post Feel Guilty All the Time? Causes, Signs, and Ways to Stop That Nagging Feeling is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

The 25 Best Double Date Ideas & Reasons Why Every Couple Needs to Try Them!

Double dates are fun, and they can also help you grow your relationship, and keep things exciting. Try these double date ideas and find out for yourself!

Ever considered double date ideas while planning a fun date with your significant other? As mundane or boring as it sounds, sometimes, it takes a good double date to bring the excitement back into love.

Double dating isn’t really the rage, or even something that’s given its due. As teenagers, we would double date all the time. But as we outgrew our teenage years, the idea of double dating slowly started to fade away too.

These days, many couples hang out with other couples all the time, without really giving it a name. But as a matter of fact, double dates can do more good for your relationship, even when you’re past your teens.

You could be a married couple, dating for several years, or even just started dating recently. No matter how seasoned your relationship is, double dating can help you better your relationship in every way.

So before we go deeper into the best double date ideas and the best things you can do with another couple, here are a few things you should know about double dates. [Read: 20 ingenious ways to keep a relationship fun and exciting]

How to Pick the Right Couple for the Double Date

If you want to go on a double date, you need another couple that you respect and know you can have fun with.

Don’t go on a double date with an unhappy couple who are going to bicker with each other, or the kind of couple who are going to stay wrapped up in each other’s arms and eating each other’s face all night.

As fun as double dates can be, there’s a good chance that both of you would come back home and whine about how you guys ended up having a terrible time, or how the other couple chose where to go to, and had more fun than both of you did.

So pick a couple both of you seem to get along with, and most importantly, a couple who seems to enjoy similar things as you two.

Don’t double date with a couple who just want to show off their romance or money, you know the kind. They’re so insecure in their own relationship that they go out of their way to convince everyone else just how deeply in love they are! [Read: Signs of a healthy relationship that keep couples happy and in love]

Why Do Couples Double Date?

There are a lot of double date ideas, and there are just as many benefits of double dating too, and we’ll get to it in a bit.

But one of the best reasons to double date with another couple is to bring the romance and your social life together, and have more fun.

For many couples, the conversations start to dry out as the weeks turn to months and years. They may just not have anything interesting or exciting to discuss about when they go out on a romantic date, especially when they spend a lot of time together already.

And it isn’t just restricted to conversations. The eagerness to dress up for a date too can start declining because these dates can start to feel like routine after a while. [Read: Common reasons why you’re getting so bored with your relationship]

Do you and your partner spend most of your time during a date staring at your phone screen or people watching because you’re both “very comfortable with each other”? You need to double date!

When you double date with another couple, you can bring the excitement back into a date, dressing up, conversations et al. And all in the company of another couple. So you have a date, and you get to hang out with friends. Isn’t that exciting? [Read: Happy and naughty ways to keep your relationship fresh forever]

Double Dates Can Actually Make You Love Your Partner More

According to a study, it was seen that couples that double dated other couples, experienced more passion and love towards their own partner when they date with another couple.

They have more fun, they have more exciting lives, they’re more enthusiastic, and most importantly, they’re way happier too.

And it makes sense, double dates give you a boost of excitement because you’re on a real date with your partner.

But at the same time, you have another couple that can add to the conversation and the fun. There’s less pressure on keeping the conversation going too! [Read: 25 topics you need to talk about in a happy relationship]

The Best Double Date Ideas

Dating as a couple is fun. But some dating activities are way more fun when you share it with another couple.

The next time you’re thinking of a double date, here are all the doubel date ideas you’ll need to make sure all four of you have a really great time!

1. Dining For Four

You may want to have a fascinating conversation with your partner and have a great time when you’re out fine dining.

But if you’ve been together for a while, the only conversations that may trail for a while are ones that involve work, laundry, fancy china and lamp shades for the home that you see at the restaurant or the best of it all, eavesdropping on the conversations of people from other tables!

It’s normal and we’ve all been there. You don’t have to curl your toes about it. Some days, we just don’t have anything new to share with our partner. And that’s okay!

When you involve another couple, the conversations can be refreshing and the whole experience may even start to feel like a new date.

When you’re with another couple, you get to repeat happy stories about each other and have a laugh even if you’ve said the same joke a million times. You get to spend time with two good friends and feel like a date at the same time. Can it get any better? [Read: Foodie dates and trendy food date ideas for couples]

2. A Vacation For Four

Regular romantic vacations are every loving couple’s dream and something to look forward to. But every time you’re traveling with your partner, it’s just the two of you.

You can’t really explore the wilderness or the winding streets without the fear of losing your way or getting into trouble somewhere along the way.

A twosome vacation can be private and fun. But by double dating on a vacation with another couple, you’d feel a lot more confident and safer lurking after dark or bar-hopping after dinner. And as a side note, clicking couple pictures can be so easy when you have company.

3. Clubbing and Parties

Okay, unless you’re mad confident or totally reckless, you won’t be downing shots one after the other when you’re out with just your partner, while out at a club.

Ever had to deal with a drunken partner who’s almost knocked out with booze? It can be frightening, especially if you’re the woman.

When you double date your clubbing and partying nights, it can be more fun having company around.

You’d have company to cheer you on as you down a shooter, another couple to wink at and cheer when the DJ plays your favorite song, and safe company to look after you when you’re too drunk to drive back home. [Read: 29 wild & sexy drinking games for couples or friends at a house party]

4. Little Day Trips

Whether you’re trekking or camping, or even luxuriating at a faraway resort spa or lazing at a fishing pond, there’s nothing better than going out with another couple.

Camping with your partner can seem cozy and romantic, but it doesn’t really feel safe. And day trips can be more fun when you have company to share those magical sunsets and sunrises.

If you want to take a swim or snooze for a while, your partner still has two other people to talk to and have fun. Double dating on day trips can be more fun, and give you the peace and quiet of a romantic trip too.

5. The Outdoors

Amusement parks, bowling, you name it. These double date ideas are way more fun than doing it as a couple.

Want to see if it works for you? Go bowling with another couple, it’s just a couple of hours, but it’ll make you a double date fan in no time! [Read: 25 hobbies for couples that want to have more fun together]

Other Fun Double Date Ideas That Work Like a Charm

Whether you’re looking to strengthen existing bonds or create new memories, these double date ideas are perfect for couples who love to mix adventure with camaraderie.

6. Hang Out at Home or Have a Game Night

It doesn’t really have to be something extravagant to be fun and memorable. Just chill out at home, cook a meal together, or play board games with another couple.

These simple activities can foster intimacy and create a relaxed atmosphere where all four of you can enjoy each other’s company.

Cooking together allows for teamwork and creativity, while board games can bring out your playful sides and spark friendly competition. It’s all about spending quality time together, strengthening your bonds, and enjoying a cozy, comfortable evening with friends. [Read: Cooking as a couple: 20 romantic tips & date ideas to have fun together]

7. Flea Markets

Visit a flea market together, it’s a whole day of fun, food and shopping without any stress of trying to keep things fun and interesting as a couple.

8. Museums or Zoos

The pressure of trying to keep things entertaining is huge when you’re spending all day as a couple, even when you visit an interesting museum or a zoo. Try double dating with another couple, and everything just gets so easy-breezy.

9. Concerts or Comedy Clubs

Watching a comedy show or a concert can get pretty mundane when it’s just the two of you. Four of you? Fun!

10. Sunday Brunch

Nothing beats a lazy Sunday afternoon spending spending time as a couple. With another couple! [Read: Love addiction: 65 signs you’re addicted to relationships & how to free yourself]

11. Cooking Class Extravaganza

For couples who love to explore culinary delights, a cooking class is an ideal double date idea. It’s a fantastic way to bond, learn new skills, and enjoy a delicious meal you’ve all had a hand in preparing. Plus, it’s a great story to share with friends and family later!

12. Wine Tasting Adventure

For couples who appreciate the finer things in life, a double date at a local vineyard or wine bar offers a sophisticated and relaxing experience.

They usually let you sample various wines, learn about food pairings, and enjoy the lush vineyard scenery. It’s a perfect way to unwind, explore new flavors, and share a unique experience with friends.

13. Outdoor Movie Night

Imagine a starry sky, a gentle breeze, and a classic film on a big screen. An outdoor movie night is a romantic and nostalgic double date idea.

Bring comfy blankets, pack a picnic, and enjoy a cinematic experience under the stars. [Read: The best movie drinking games & 35 fun movies that get better with booze]

14. Escape Room Challenge

For those who love a good puzzle, an escape room provides an exhilarating and brain-teasing double date experience. It’s a test of teamwork and wits, perfect for couples who enjoy a bit of friendly competition.

15. Art Workshop

Double dating can be a chance to unleash your creative side. Attend a painting or pottery workshop together. It’s a relaxing way to spend time and create something beautiful or hilariously memorable.

16. Historical Tour

Dive into the past with a historical tour of your city. It is not only educational but also a wonderful way to explore hidden gems and learn stories behind local landmarks.

Ideal for couples who are history buffs or love discovering new aspects of their city.

17. Bike Ride and Picnic

Combine leisure and exercise with a scenic bike ride followed by a picnic. This double date idea is perfect for couples who enjoy being outdoors and want to experience the beauty of nature together. [Read: 45 must-knows & the best and worst romantic picnic ideas to woo your date]

18. Karaoke Night

Belt out your favorite tunes during a karaoke night! It’s a fun and hilarious way to spend an evening, creating unforgettable memories and perhaps discovering hidden talents among your group.

19. Themed Dinner Party

Host a themed dinner party where each couple contributes to the meal. From Mexican fiesta to Italian night, it’s a delightful way to explore different cuisines and cultures, making for a unique double date experience.

20. Hot Air Balloon Ride

Now for a truly magical experience, a hot air balloon ride is a breathtaking double date idea. It’s a chance to see the world from a new perspective, share awe-inspiring views, and enjoy an adventure in the sky.

21. Board Games

Why not host a board game night for your next double date? From strategy-heavy games to light-hearted party games, there’s something for every couple.

It’s a great way to engage in some friendly competition and lots of laughs. Plus, it’s a perfect opportunity to showcase those secret board game strategies you’ve been honing!

22. Cultural Food Tour

Embark on a culinary adventure right in your city! This double date idea involves visiting different restaurants or food markets, trying various ethnic cuisines. [Read: Cross culture romance: 40 secrets to have a happy intercultural relationship]

This is not just a treat for your taste buds but also a journey through diverse cultures and an excellent way for food-loving couples to bond.

23. DIY Craft Night

Get crafty on your next double date by hosting a DIY craft night. Whether it’s making homemade candles, scrapbooking, or even trying your hand at pottery, crafting together is a unique way to spend an evening. It’ll be fun, creative, and you’ll have a handmade souvenir to remember the night.

24. Nature Hike and Bird Watching

For couples who appreciate the great outdoors, a nature hike coupled with bird watching is a serene and educational double date idea. [Read: 23 fun, romantic summer date ideas to warm your date’s heart & make it melt]

It’s a chance to enjoy the beauty of nature, get some exercise, and maybe even spot some rare birds. Don’t forget your binoculars and cameras for this one!

25. Local Music Crawl

Explore your city’s music scene with a local music crawl. It’s all about hopping from one venue to another, enjoying live music ranging from jazz to indie rock.

What a fantastic way to support local artists and experience the vibrant energy of your city’s nightlife.

Double Dates Can Help Your Own Relationship

Firstly, there isn’t much of a bad side to double dating at all, as long as your double dating lovers are friends and both of you like spending time with them, without worrying about egos clashing or trying to prove who’s a “better couple.” So how can double dates help you two as a couple?

1. Interesting Conversations

Double dating can bring a fresh perspective to dating and dating conversations. You feel like a couple and yet you have four different points of view and four different people’s stories to share.

Conversations on a double date can be a lot more fun for you and your partner, especially when you’re in a long term relationship. [Read: How to stop being codependent and have a healthy relationship instead]

2. Friends and Lovers

When you spend time with friends, you’d never really feel like you’re getting to spend romantic moments with your own lover.

But when you’re on a double date, you get to socialize and spend time with a couple of friends and yet, feel like you’re on a real date at the same time.

3. Learning from Each Other

When you’re in a relationship, both of you are a perfect picture in a photo frame. You look may lovely together, but you can’t really step out of the frame and see your own life.

Trying these double date ideas gives you the chance to spend time with another couple and learn from their behavior with each other, be it good or bad.

In the long term, it can help you understand more about your own love life and how you can become better lovers. [Read: 20 fun things for couples to do and get out of the relationship routine]

4. Keep Your Own Love Life Exciting

Spending time with another couple on a date can actually bring the excitement back into your own relationship.

The best part of double dating is that you can actually get romantic with your own lover without worrying about PDA in front of friends.

After all, you are with another romantic couple, and not with a group of friends. And as awkward as getting a bit naughty may seen at the moment, it’s always a turn on even when you talk about it with your partner after the double date. [Read: All the ways public display of affection can save your relationship]

The Best Part About Double Dates

Here’s the best part of double dates. In a long term relationship, over time, it’s possible that you’ve forgotten just how wonderful your partner really is. They’re always around, and it’s so easy to take each other for granted.

But watching your partner having a good conversation or a laugh on a double date gives you the chance to just sit back and admire your lover without worrying about answering back, or coming up with the next thing to say.

And sometimes, just stepping back and watching your partner will make you fall in love with them all over again, and realize how special and wonderful your lover truly is. [Read: 22 signs of true love to know if your relationship is thriving as it should be]

It’ll Definitely Be Worth It!

So, have you decided which lucky couple will join you on these exciting adventures? Whether it’s old friends or a new couple you’ve been wanting to get to know better, these double date ideas are the perfect opportunity to strengthen bonds and create unforgettable memories. [Read: True friendship: 37 real friend traits & what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

With so much to gain through double dates, it would be ridiculous to skip that idea, wouldn’t it? Use these double date ideas and have a romantic and exciting time with another couple. It’ll definitely be worth it!

The post The 25 Best Double Date Ideas & Reasons Why Every Couple Needs to Try Them! is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

Meeting a Girl in a Romantic Way (7 Steps)

Every girl dreams to meet a man romantically. If you can meet a girl in a romantic way, not only can you sweep her off her feet – but you raise the odds you get her, too.

Whenever I’ve told women I wasn’t dating how I met girls I was dating, the response from my female listeners is always the same: “Wow, that’s SO romantic!”

Contents

1. Be Out for Other Reasons

2. See a Girl You MUST Meet

3. Approach Her ASAP

4. Opener Doesn’t Matter

5. Quickly Hit It Off

6. Ask Out & Take Number

7. Make Swift, Excited Exit

8. Conclusion

Women love how I meet women. Girls I’m with love it, and girls just listening love it. There’s always an element of fate, chance… magic. There is always a way to say, “If I hadn’t gone there that day, if you hadn’t gone here, if this thing that happened had not happened, we never would have been.”

You might think it has to do with meeting girls in romantic places. Or putting together an approach that looks like a Hollywood meet-cute.

In fact, you can meet girls romantically anywhere you see them, and without following a Hollywood script.

In this guide, I’m going to break the process down for you and let you in on the secrets to meeting a girl in a romantic way.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ve broken the process down into seven (7) easy to execute (well, more or less) steps.

Let’s make some romantic meetings!

20 Relationship Hang-ups to Avoid at All Costs & 25 Things to Know About Them

Every relationship will encounter problems at some point or another. But there are things you can do to avoid these relationship hang-ups.

Relationship hang-ups are issues that prevent the relationship from growing and progressing. They are usually borne out of immaturity and certain insecurities that one or both people in the relationship are dealing with.

Being in a relationship can be difficult at times, but holding on to these relationship hang-ups can make it even harder. By constantly letting these issues run rampant in your love life, you are inadvertently damaging your relationship. [Read: 36 ways & questions to fix a broken relationship & rebuild it with love]

Why Do People Have Relationship Hang-ups?

Relationship hang-ups often stem from a cocktail of past experiences and psychological predispositions. Imagine them as invisible threads, intricately woven by our life’s tapestry, influencing how we perceive and act in romantic relationships.

Starting with the concept of Attachment Theory, a brainchild of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, we find that our earliest bonds, especially those with caregivers, set the stage for future relationships.

Think of a young child who experienced inconsistency in caregiving; as an adult, they might develop an anxious attachment style, leading to hang-ups like clinginess or fear of abandonment in relationships. [Read: Attachment styles theory – 4 types and 19 signs and ways you attach to others]

Then there’s Cognitive Behavioral Theory *CBT*, which suggests that our thoughts and beliefs significantly shape our behaviors and emotions.

For instance, if someone grew up in a household where trust issues were rampant, they might develop a belief that partners are inherently untrustworthy. This belief can manifest as a hang-up in their relationships, leading to jealousy or constant doubt.

Sometimes, relationship hang-ups are reflections of broader societal narratives or observations. Take Emma, who saw her best friend go through a heart-wrenching breakup. [Read: Breakup advice – 22 things to do after a breakup to feel great and hate less!]

This vicarious experience instilled a fear in Emma that she might face a similar fate, leading to hang-ups in committing fully to a relationship.

It’s important to note that while these hang-ups can be challenging, they’re not insurmountable. Recognizing and acknowledging them is the first step towards addressing and resolving them.

It’s like turning on a light in a dimly lit room; suddenly, the shadows of doubt and fear become less intimidating, allowing for healthier and more fulfilling relationships. [Read: 38 Signs and traits of a happy, healthy relationship and what it should look like]

What Are the Common Relationship Hang-Ups?

Different couples experience different hang-ups, depending on their individual issues, and how those issues collide with each other. Here are hang-ups that many couples experience.

1. The Ex

If you and your partner are not each other’s first relationship, you can expect the subject of the ex to pop up now and then.

One of the most common hang-ups that couples have is wondering whether the ex is still in the picture and whether or not they should be threatened. [Read: Signs your past relationship is holding you back]

2. Affection

People show their love in different ways, but some people tend to make a bigger deal out of it.

They misinterpret the fact that their partner shows less affection than they do as a sign of dislike or loss of love. This can make a person in a relationship more insecure than they already are. [Read: 20 loving & romantic touches in a relationship to make you feel closer]

3. Frequency of Communication

If you are not an adult with a career, not being able to text your partner round the clock would not be much of a problem.

For couples who have busy lives, not being able to talk frequently gets thrown out of context. Some clingy people will take it as a slight, while others may perceive it as a sign that their partner isn’t doing enough to reach out to them.

4. Money

When someone is richer or earns more in a relationship, the balance of power is perceived to tip in that person’s favor. Generally, when a man earns more than a woman, it’s not much of an issue, unless she’s too dependent on him. [Read: What to do if your partner makes more money than you]

But if a woman earns more than a man, it can develop into deeper insecurities on the man’s part, because they are often expected to be the providers in a relationship.

5. Cheating

Even though it hasn’t happened yet or never will, some people are paranoid about getting cheated on. This usually stems from a deeper insecurity, or it may be caused by a similar incident in a past relationship.

Being jealous for no apparent reason can ruin relationships before they even get a chance to grow. [Read: Jealousy in a relationship – how to accept, deal, and overcome it in love]

6. Physical Appearance

Some people can’t get used to the difference in attractiveness within a relationship, while some are too hung up on changing their partner’s appearance.

When someone feels judged or is being judged for their appearance, it can create problems that aren’t just limited to the relationship. [Read: 65 physical attraction tips to look way more attractive & desirable in no time]

7. Secrecy

If you ask someone whether you should tell your partner everything, more often than not they will answer “no.”

Some couples tend to fight over the secrets that they can’t divulge to each other. Yes, couples should always be open and honest with each other, but that doesn’t mean that you have to pester them for information whenever you feel like they’re hiding something.

8. Family Matters

When two people are in a relationship, they should decide then and there that any decision they make involving each other should not include their family’s opinions. [Read: Toxic family members – 15 signs and reasons to cut them off for good]

It’s okay to ask, but it’s not okay to force it on your partner, if they don’t agree to it. This usually happens when a major decision needs to be made in terms of career and money.

9. Friends of the Opposite Sex

This often becomes a problem because of trust issues. It could be that your partner doesn’t trust you enough to allow you to have friends from the opposite sex, or they don’t trust your friends at all.

10. Sex

When the subject comes up, it’s usually about past lovers: how many, when was the last, how often? [Read: 37 Secrets to have more sex as a couple and how often is totally normal]

Another problem is when a person feels like they’re not satisfying their partner. It’s a touchy subject that can be the source of many fights, especially when in bed.

11. Intimacy Incompatibility

Not just about sex, but also about the level of emotional closeness and affection.

If one person craves deep conversations and constant cuddles while the other values space, it can lead to misunderstandings. Understanding and respecting each other’s intimacy needs is crucial. [Read: Emotionally distant partner – 24 signs, effects, and steps to feel closer again]

12. Digital Disconnect

In an era where our phones are like an extra limb, the way partners use *or don’t use* technology can be a major hang-up.

Whether it’s being too active on social media, not texting back promptly, or binge-watching shows alone – digital habits can create a disconnect. The key? Finding a balance between screen time and quality time together.

13. Adventure vs. Routine

Some crave adventure and spontaneity, while others find comfort in routine and predictability. [Read: Tired of your relationship? 30 relationship burnout signs and quick fixes]

This clash can lead to a relationship hang-up where one feels bored and the other overwhelmed. It’s about blending stability with occasional surprises to keep the spark alive.

14. Personal Space

Everyone needs their ‘me time,’ but how much is too much? When one partner’s need for personal space feels like neglect to the other, it’s a classic relationship hang-up.

Balancing together-time with alone-time requires open communication and understanding of each other’s needs. [Read: Ways to give space in a relationship and feel closer than ever before]

15. Future Fears

Discussions about the future can be exciting or daunting.

If one is dreaming of white picket fences while the other is spooked by long-term commitments, you’ve hit a hang-up. It’s important to have honest conversations about expectations and timelines to align your visions.

16. Political Polarization

In today’s politically charged climate, differing political views can be a significant relationship hang-up. [Read: Do opposites attract or push each other away? The must-know truths]

Whether it’s about voting for different parties or disagreeing on social issues, it’s crucial to respect each other’s perspectives and agree to disagree sometimes.

17. Parenting Philosophies

For couples with or planning for children, differing parenting styles can become a major hang-up. From discipline to education choices, these differences can cause rifts. The trick lies in finding common ground and compromising for the kids’ sake.

18. Work-Life Balance

When one’s married to their job, and the other’s left feeling like a work widow, it’s a classic hang-up. [Read: How to maintain a social life when you work from home]

Striking a balance between professional ambitions and personal life is key to preventing resentment and maintaining a healthy relationship.

19. Cultural Clashes

In an increasingly multicultural world, differing cultural backgrounds can lead to hang-ups in a relationship.

From food preferences to holiday traditions, these differences can be both enriching and challenging. Embracing each other’s cultures with an open mind can strengthen the bond. [Read: Cross-culture romance – 40 secrets to have a happy intercultural relationship]

20. Health and Lifestyle Choices

You might not think about this at the beginning, but when one partner is a health nut and the other’s idea of exercise is a TV marathon, lifestyle choices can become a subtle yet significant hang-up.

Whether it’s about hitting the gym or having conflicting dietary habits, these differences can cause some friction over time.

Little things like this can add up and create tension, making it tricky to keep things smooth and harmonious in the relationship.

How Hang-Ups Affect Relationships

If you’ve ever wondered why it’s important to be aware of relationship hang-ups, the answer lies in their subtle yet powerful impact on relationship dynamics.

Much like an unnoticed undercurrent can change the course of a river, these hang-ups can silently steer a relationship off course. [Read: Uncertainty in a relationship – what it feels like, causes, and 32 ways to fix it]

1. Stunted Personal Growth

Hang-ups can hinder personal growth, as partners might restrain themselves to avoid triggering issues. It’s like walking on eggshells, where neither partner feels free to grow or change.

2. Communication Breakdown

When hang-ups like fear of conflict or past trauma come into play, communication can suffer. Instead of open dialogues, partners may resort to silence or passive aggression. Misunderstandings and resentment can build up, creating emotional distance between partners.

This emotional distance often leads to a lack of trust and intimacy, making it harder to resolve issues. Over time, unresolved conflicts can erode the foundation of the relationship, making it increasingly difficult to maintain a healthy connection. [Read: 31 exercises and games for couples and secrets to feel closer]

3. Projecting Past Baggage

Bringing past relationship baggage can lead to unfair comparisons and projections. Past relationships, however they ended, should serve as learning experiences rather than lenses through which to view current ones.

Constantly comparing a new partner to an ex can create unrealistic expectations and unnecessary pressure. Doing this can prevent genuine connection and trust from forming, as the new partner may feel they are constantly being judged against someone else.

Over time, these unresolved issues from the past can undermine the potential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

4. Trust Issues

Hang-ups stemming from past betrayals can lead to a lack of trust in current relationships. Partners might constantly check on each other or feel insecure, creating an atmosphere of suspicion.

Trust issues stunt relationship growth because they prevent the development of a safe and secure environment.

Lack of trust can lead to constant anxiety and stress, hindering open and honest communication. Without trust, it’s challenging to build a strong foundation, and the relationship may struggle to thrive.

5. Reduced Intimacy

Emotional hang-ups can create barriers to physical and emotional intimacy. Partners might withdraw, feeling disconnected, which can lead to a lack of closeness and affection.

This withdrawal can result in feelings of loneliness and frustration, making it difficult for both partners to feel truly connected. [Read: 34 signs, why we feel disconnected in a relationship & ways to reconnect]

Over time, the lack of intimacy can erode the emotional bond that holds the relationship together. Without addressing these barriers, the relationship may struggle to regain its sense of closeness and mutual understanding.

6. Avoidance of Conflict

Relationship hang-ups can also cause couples to avoid conflicts instead of addressing them directly. This is because fear of confrontation can make dealing with issues seem too daunting.

Doing this lets issues fester and worsen over time, ultimately causing more harm to the relationship.

7. Dependency Problems

Fear of abandonment can lead to clinginess or dependency. [Read: Abandonment issues – what it is, causes, types, 34 signs, and how it hurts you]

One partner might become overly reliant on the other for emotional support, constantly seeking reassurance and validation. This can create an imbalance in the relationship, with one person feeling overwhelmed by the constant need for attention and the other feeling insecure and anxious.

Over time, this dependency can stifle individual growth and strain the relationship, making it difficult for both partners to maintain a healthy balance between independence and togetherness.

8. Conflicting Expectations

Hang-ups related to future goals or commitment can lead to mismatched expectations. One might be planning a future together while the other is still unsure, leading to a tug-of-war of expectations.

9. Jealousy and Insecurity

Hang-ups fueled by low self-esteem or past experiences can breed jealousy and insecurity. This can manifest in overreactions to innocent interactions, turning the relationship into a constant trial of loyalty. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 41 signs and 51 ways to deal with insecurity and fix it]

10. Power Imbalances

Issues related to control or past manipulations can create power imbalances. One partner may dominate decisions, leaving the other feeling powerless and marginalized.

This dynamic can lead to resentment and a lack of mutual respect, as the controlled partner may feel their opinions and needs are consistently disregarded.

Over time, these imbalances can erode the foundation of the relationship, making it difficult to maintain a healthy and equitable partnership.

How Can You Let Go of These Hang-Ups?

It’s easy once you realize that it’s doing more harm than good in your relationship. Holding on to these issues can prevent you from enjoying the moments you have together.

Instead of being happy, you’re constantly looking for ways to be miserable. [Read: Toxic relationship – what it is, 107 signs, causes and types of love that hurt you]

You can deny it by saying that you’re just protecting your relationship, but the truth is that you don’t need to protect something that’s not under threat. Hang-ups exist, because you gave them more significance than they are owed.

1. Trust Your Partner

Unless they did something really bad in the past, you can rest knowing that your partner loves you enough to not let anything ruin what you have together. [Read: How to help someone with trust issues open up and overcome their fear]

2. Be More Confident

Don’t let your insecurities get the best of you. If your partner found something to love about you, why shouldn’t you be able to see the same things in yourself?

3. Learn to Let Things Go

Some things aren’t worth fighting over. You need to pick your battles and prevent petty fights from breaking out. Be the bigger person, and you’ll see that your partner will soon follow suit.

4. Remember That Your Partner Chose You

Don’t immediately consider that they like someone else without checking your facts. Don’t turn a blind eye if your partner is visibly cheating on you, but don’t suffocate them or hound them with probing questions, if they haven’t done anything wrong.

5. Enjoy Your Sex Life

Don’t ruin it with visions of past lovers and scorecards of past experiences. Just make the most of what you have and explore each other’s needs, without considering any other people. [Read: 13 untold sex secrets you absolutely must know]

6. Respect Each Other’s Privacy

Just because you’re in a relationship does not mean that you’re not allowed to have secrets. When both of you are involved, you can discuss the terms of telling each other everything.

If it doesn’t concern your partner or if the issue doesn’t require their immediate input, you do not have to feel guilty about not telling them. The same goes for your partner, if they want to deal with something privately as well.

7. Be Kind

Don’t let physical hang-ups destroy your respect for each other. Don’t be bothered by the issue of appearances, unless it’s absolutely unbearable. [Read: How to be a good person and 32 ways to transform into a better human]

If your partner dresses inappropriately, has bad manners or is living an unhealthy lifestyle, you can voice your opinion.

But if they are simply being themselves without really harming anyone, remember that this is the same person you fell for the first time that you saw them.

8. Don’t Involve Other People in Your Issues

Before you let anyone put their two cents in, you and your partner need to discuss your problems privately. That’s why it’s a relationship problem. [Read: 20 Relationship problems that push a couple apart or bring them closer]

If you have a personal problem, do your partner the courtesy of telling them about it, before you tell anybody else. If you arrive at a point where you can’t handle dealing with your problem alone, then you can ask for help from your family or friends.

9. Develop Self-Awareness

Understanding the root of your hang-ups is key. Engaging in introspection or therapy can help you uncover why you react the way you do in your relationship.

It’s like being a detective in your own life, searching for clues to understand your emotions and behaviors. This self-awareness is the first step toward change. [Read: 25 Honest, self-reflection questions to recognize the real YOU inside]

10. Practice Effective Communication

Good communication is more than just talking; it involves active listening, empathy, and expressing yourself clearly.

According to psychological research, effective communication can significantly reduce misunderstandings and foster a deeper connection. Think of it as building a bridge over the river of confusion and misunderstandings that hang-ups often create.

11. Set Realistic Expectations

Sometimes, our hang-ups stem from unrealistic expectations we place on our partners or the relationship. [Read: 20 Healthy expectations in a relationship that define a good love life]

By understanding and adjusting these expectations, based on the reality of who your partner is and what the relationship can offer, you create a more grounded and stress-free connection.

12. Engage in Joint Activities

Participating in activities together can strengthen your bond and help overcome hang-ups.

Whether it’s a shared hobby, exercise, or volunteering, these activities can improve understanding and appreciation for each other, acting as a glue that holds the relationship together. [Read: 33 Best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever!]

13. Learn Conflict Resolution Skills

Conflict is inevitable, but how you handle it can either exacerbate hang-ups or help resolve them.

Learning and practicing conflict resolution skills, like negotiation and compromise, can turn arguments into constructive conversations. It’s like learning to dance in the rain rather than getting caught in a storm.

14. Embrace Vulnerability

Being vulnerable with your partner can help heal and prevent hang-ups. It involves opening up about your fears, desires, and insecurities. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up, and 28 secrets to grow closer]

This act of bravery, strongly supported by psychological research, can deepen trust and understanding, acting like a balm to the scars of past hang-ups.

15. Cultivate Self-Compassion

Often, we are our own harshest critics, which can feed into our relationship hang-ups.

Learning to be kind and forgiving to oneself can lead to a healthier self-image and reduce the pressure we put on our relationships. It’s like giving yourself a hug instead of a critical glare in the mirror. [Read: 10 solutions to the most common relationship problems]

Handling Certain Relationship Hang-Ups Isn’t Always Easy

Relationships, inherently complex, require a mix of patience, effort, and a readiness to evolve both individually and as partners.

Confronting these challenges, although it might seem intimidating, paves the way for stronger and more meaningful connections. It’s about mutual support, open communication, and adaptability.

[Read: Uncertainty in a relationship – what it feels like, causes, and 32 ways to fix it]

While handling certain relationship hang-ups isn’t always easy, you possess the strength to prevent them from overwhelming you. Communicate with your partner, and work together to resolve the issue. After all, nurturing and strengthening the bond is the essence of a relationship.

The post 20 Relationship Hang-ups to Avoid at All Costs & 25 Things to Know About Them is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

How to Avoid Being Cheated On… Again: 25 Ways to Protect Your Heart

Being cheated on feels so awful that you might end up swearing off relationships forever. Here’s how to avoid being cheated on again.

Relationships can make you feel like you’re on cloud 9, providing joy and fulfillment. However, there are also relationships that involve cheating, which can make you feel as if your heart got tossed into a big, black abyss. If you’ve experienced this, you surely would want to learn how to avoid being cheated on in the future. Understanding and implementing strategies to prevent such painful experiences is crucial, unless, of course, you’re some sort of glutton for punishment.

We all want a good relationship. The more bad ones you experience, the harder it gets to believe in the good ones. But they do exist. Sure, you might endure heartbreak, or get cheated on, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to find someone who can piece your heart back together because you most definitely can.

Sometimes, we just need a little help and a different opinion when it comes to relationships. Why do you think so many people read relationship advice articles? If you are currently avoiding the dating scene because you’re afraid of being cheated on again, I’m here to help you become a believer in love once more. [Read: Toxic relationship: What it is, 107 signs, causes & types of love that hurt you]

The Trauma of Being Cheated On

A hot topic often pops up in relationships: how to avoid being cheated on. It’s not about being overly cautious or distrusting, it’s more like doing your homework to avoid a nasty surprise. Let’s face it, being cheated on is a pretty rough ride for anyone.

First off, the emotional side of this coin isn’t pretty. When someone steps out on you, it’s like an emotional whirlwind. Trust, that big deal in any relationship, gets knocked off its pedestal.

This is not just something that makes you feel sad for a while, you’ll have to deal with the big, messy aftermath. You might find yourself in a funk, wrestling with trust issues, even when you jump into something new. [Read: How to trust again & give someone your heart when you’re scared]

Then there’s the hit to your self-esteem. It’s like suddenly questioning if you were ever enough – and spoiler alert, that kind of thinking can stick around like a bad habit.

Dealing with the fallout from infidelity is like signing up for a self-discovery course. It’s about understanding what freaks you out, what makes you tick, and how to build a relationship that’s more fortress and less house of cards.

How to Not Get Cheated on Ever Again

No one sets out on a new relationship for the purpose of getting hurt. But so many of us have no idea how to protect ourselves from partners who end up being unfaithful. Here’s how you can protect yourself to avoid being the victim of yet another cheating schmuck.

1. Trust Your Gut

Although it may seem silly, most people usually know the truth, even if they don’t want to accept it. If you have ever been cheated on, you know exactly what I’m talking about. But sometimes, people choose to look the other way, ignoring all the signs right in front of them.

One way to avoid the heartbreak that comes with cheating is to trust your gut and those feelings you can’t shake off.

If you keep thinking the worst when it comes to your partner, and the feelings aren’t going away, your instincts might be on to something. Trust yourself above all else. [Read: Gut instinct: What it is, how it works & 30 tips to follow & listen to your gut]

2. Don’t Be So Quick to Date

The thrill of falling fast and hard for someone new is as exciting as dating gets. It’s a warm, fuzzy feeling when you find yourself thinking you’re in love with the one that’s perfect for you.

But the reality is that you can’t truly know someone in a week, in a month, not even necessarily in a year. Sometimes, you find out you never really knew them in the first place.

If you have been cheated on by someone that you fell hard and fast for, one way to not make the same mistake again is by taking things a little slower.

For starters, don’t rush into a relationship immediately just because you start having those same warm and fuzzy feelings. What’s the hurry? Fools really do rush in!

By slowing down the love train a little, you allow yourself time to get to know someone better. You might find out you like them even more as you continue to get to know them, or maybe you find out things that you really don’t like. And if that’s the case, you’ve saved yourself from another failed relationship.

3. Quit the Games

Playing games is the opposite of honesty, and if it’s honesty that you want from your partner, you should learn to give as much as you want to take.

When you don’t play games, you show maturity, and therefore, you are taken more seriously. The whole “player” shtick will only work if you’re just in it for fun and games, but if you want a relationship, it’s time to drop the games. [Read: Mind games in a relationship: Why play, when it’s okay & how to stop it]

4. Communicate

If you don’t communicate how you feel, what you want, or what you expect, then how do you expect anyone to understand you and fix whatever it is they have done to upset you in the first place?

No matter how many times you read your horoscope or visit a physic, you’re probably not going to end up with a person who can literally read your mind.

The more you talk to your partner about how you feel, the more likely they’ll be able to understand you and empathize with you. They’ll know what you want and what you can offer, and this allows them to act according to what they think is best for your relationship.

And if your partner understands the relationship better thanks to better communication lines, they’re less likely to intentionally hurt you by cheating. [Read: Effective communication in a relationship]

5. Trust Your Partner

Just because you’ve been cheated on before, doesn’t mean that every potential partner in the entire world is a cheater and out to hurt you.

Would you like it if every person you dated assumed you were a gold digger, just because you share some traits with a gold digger they dated before? No, you wouldn’t like that.

Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, trust them! It’s really that simple. You can’t control people and what they do, but, despite this extremely cynical world we live in, you can always hope that giving someone your trust makes them realize that it’s for keeps, and that they shouldn’t do anything to shatter it. [Read: Trust Issues in a Relationship: 22 whys & ways to get over it together]

6. Stop Assuming the Worst

The saying is true, “never assume anything because you end up making an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘me.'” Pessimism is exhausting, honestly. If we all went around on a daily basis worrying about what could go wrong instead of enjoying all the great things that actually do happen, what would be the point of waking up every day?

Negativity like this may make you think that you’re just bracing yourself for the worst possible scenario, but in reality, you’re just setting yourself up for failure.

Who would want to date someone who always thinks of how things can go horribly wrong? Once your partner feels the gloom of your pessimism seeping into the relationship, then it won’t be a huge surprise if they try to find someone who focuses more on the bright side.

7. Keep the Spark Alive

Monotony is one of the many things to blame for a person’s infidelity. That’s why it’s crucial for couples to always find time for each other, no matter how busy they may be. Take a long, hard look at your relationship, and try to find which aspects of it could use a little pick-me-up.

Have you been spending less time together? Set up a weekly date night routine to catch up. Is the sex getting boring? Amp up with kink by trying to indulge in each other’s fantasies.

Running out of things to talk about? Try out new activities together. There are literally thousands of ways you can keep the spark alive in a relationship! [Read: 10 steps to reignite the lost spark in a relationship]

8. Be Independent

Just because you fell in love with someone, and want to be with them all the time, does not mean you should forget about yourself and the things you enjoy doing. It’s healthy to spend time apart, and you two don’t always have to be into the same things.

No one likes a needy girlfriend or boyfriend. You need to give each other room to breathe and grow outside of the relationship.

Keeping your partner in your sights 24/7 will only serve to make them feel smothered, and they’ll be struggling to find a way out… And that usually ends up being in the arms of another. [Read: Important habits you need to be more independent]

9. Invest in Mutual Respect

A key strategy in learning how to avoid being cheated on is fostering mutual respect in your relationship. Respect acts like a glue that holds various aspects of a relationship together. When both partners genuinely respect each other’s thoughts, feelings, and boundaries, it creates a strong foundation.

This respect means honoring each other’s needs and differences, and not just in words but in actions too. When respect is deeply rooted, it discourages behaviors that could harm the relationship, including infidelity.

10. Understand Your Partner’s Love Language

Everyone expresses and receives love differently, and understanding these love languages can be crucial in avoiding infidelity. If you’re well-versed in what makes your partner feel loved and appreciated, you’re more likely to fulfill their emotional needs. [Read: 33 emotional needs in a relationship, signs it’s unmet & how to meet them]

It might mean spending quality time together, giving compliments, doing acts of service, physical touch, or giving gifts. When both partners feel understood and cherished in the ways that resonate with them, it lessens the chances of looking elsewhere for fulfillment.

11. Prioritize Transparency

Another way to avoid being cheated on is seeing transparency as a golden rule. It’s about more than just being honest, it’s about being open with your feelings, experiences, and concerns.

A level of openness like this can sometimes feel vulnerable but it creates a strong bond of trust. It also means being clear about expectations and discomforts in the relationship.

When transparency is a norm, it reduces misunderstandings and builds a healthier, more secure relationship.

12. Cultivate Shared Goals and Dreams

Working together towards common goals or dreams can significantly strengthen a relationship. It’s not just about individual aspirations, it’s about what you want to achieve as a couple.

This could range from financial goals, travel plans, or personal growth objectives. When you’re both invested in a shared future, it creates a sense of teamwork and partnership. This unity makes it less likely for either partner to seek fulfillment or excitement outside the relationship.

13. Encourage Healthy Social Circles

Your relationship can be significantly influenced by the social connections you and your partner maintain. Actively supporting each other in cultivating friendships and social networks that are nurturing and positive adds richness to your personal lives.

Maintaining these connections outside the romantic relationship fosters a supportive community, which can mitigate feelings of isolation. Friends who understand and respect your relationship contribute positively to its strength and endurance. [Read: 33 easy ways to meet new people & widen your social circle effortlessly]

14. Regular Relationship Check-ins

Making time for consistent check-ins with your partner is a proactive way to safeguard your relationship. During these moments, openly discussing each other’s feelings about the relationship is key. This is your chance to bring up any issues, share appreciation, and renew your commitment to each other.

Keeping these lines of communication open prevents minor issues from escalating. Engaging in these regular evaluations and attentiveness to the relationship’s needs ensures its ongoing health and strength.

15. Personal Development and Self-Understanding

Lastly, understanding yourself is a crucial aspect of avoiding being cheated on. Personal development leads to better self-esteem and a clearer understanding of what you want in a relationship.

When you know your worth and what you bring to the table, you’re less likely to tolerate behaviors that don’t align with your values, including infidelity.

Additionally, personal growth ensures that you are also evolving as an individual within the relationship, keeping it dynamic and fulfilling. [Read: 28 self-improvement secrets to improve yourself & transform into your best self]

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

Also, be mindful of the common pitfalls in relationships. Falling into these traps can increase the risk of facing infidelity, so being aware is a key step in understanding how to avoid being cheated on.

1. Ignoring Early Warning Signs

Often in relationships, red flags present themselves early on. It’s easy to overlook these signs, especially when you’re wrapped up in the excitement of a new connection.

However, paying attention to behaviors that feel off – like a lack of transparency, avoiding deep conversations, or consistent unreliability – is crucial. Addressing these issues early can prevent bigger problems down the line, including the possibility of infidelity.

2. Neglecting Your Own Needs and Boundaries

Remember, in a relationship, your needs and boundaries matter big time. Continually setting them aside for your partner can brew personal dissatisfaction and signal that your needs play second fiddle.

Such an imbalance often breeds resentment, creating an environment where infidelity might find a foothold.

But hey, when you stick to your guns about what you need and respect your own boundaries, you’re setting the stage for a healthier, more balanced partnership. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

3. Overdependence on Your Partner for Happiness

Chasing happiness is normal in relationships, but leaning too heavily on your partner for your emotional fix? That can backfire. This kind of pressure can weigh heavily on the relationship, possibly leaving your partner feeling caged or overwhelmed.

As we said earlier, finding joy in your own life, separate from your partner, is crucial. It’s all about striking a balance – you’re with them, not glued to them, and that’s what keeps things solid.

4. Failing to Appreciate Your Partner

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and forget to show a little love to your partner. When they don’t feel valued, it can push them away.

Make a habit of letting them know you see and appreciate their efforts. A simple ‘thank you’ or acknowledgment can do wonders for keeping your bond strong and their eyes from wandering. [Read: 44 warm ways to say “I appreciate you” & show appreciation without words]

5. Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Dodging the tough talks? We’ve all been there. But here’s the thing: when you avoid hashing out the tricky stuff, those problems don’t just vanish. They simmer and can drive a wedge between you two.

Embrace those hard conversations, whether they’re about money matters, bedroom topics, or future plans. It’s like relationship armor against the tough stuff, infidelity included.

6. Letting the Relationship Become Stagnant

A relationship running on autopilot can lead to wandering eyes. Keep things fresh and exciting. Mix it up with new activities, dream up goals together, and keep that romantic spark alive. A relationship that’s always evolving and growing? That’s a relationship that’s cheat-proofing itself. [Read: Stagnant relationship: 36 standstill signs, why & how to make it progress]

7. Ignoring Your Partner’s Emotional Needs

Neglecting the emotional side of things can be just as harmful as physical betrayal. If you’re not tuning into your partner’s emotional channel, they might start tuning into someone else’s.

Key move? Listen to them, really listen. Show up for them emotionally. It’s the kind of stuff that keeps a relationship tight and true.

8. Lack of Trust

Here’s an irony for you: not trusting your partner can sometimes lead to the situation you’re afraid of. Constant suspicion or snooping can chip away at the relationship’s foundation.

Trust is the name of the game. Give them their space, respect their privacy, and if you’ve got fears, talk about them. Building trust is like building a fortress around your relationship. [Read: Trust issues in a relationship: 22 whys & ways to get over it together]

9. Refusing to Evolve with Your Partner

As people grow, their needs and perspectives change. A refusal to evolve with your partner can create a rift as you both drift towards different paths. Embrace change, support each other’s growth, and find new ways to connect to keep the relationship strong and cheating at bay.

If you met your partner as a thrill-seeking adventurer and you’ve since grown into a homebody, you can’t expect them to remain the same forever. A refusal to grow and change together can lead to a divide, with each of you wandering down separate paths. It’s important to embrace change, actively support each other’s personal growth, and continuously find new ways to connect. [Read: Growing together if you started your relationship young]

10. Neglecting Physical Intimacy

While not the cornerstone of every relationship, physical intimacy is vital for many. Neglecting this aspect can leave your partner feeling disconnected or undesired.

Ensuring that both partners’ physical needs are met, and keeping the physical connection alive, plays a significant role in maintaining a faithful and satisfying relationship.

Follow These Tips to Lessen the Chances of Being Cheated On

There’s no 100% guarantee that these tips will prevent your partner from cheating. After all, if it’s in their nature to cheat, they’ll do it no matter what. But what these tips can do is help you lessen the possibility of getting your heart broken by a cheating partner again. That’ll definitely up the odds a bit, and in a science as unstable as relationships, that’s as good as it gets.

So, by diving into these tips, you’re really getting ahead of the game in figuring out how to avoid being cheated on. Think of it as giving yourself a crash course in creating a kind of relationship where staying true to each other is just part of the deal. You’re not just playing it safe, you’re actively setting up for a partnership where everyone’s all-in on being loyal.

The post How to Avoid Being Cheated On… Again: 25 Ways to Protect Your Heart is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.