Socially Awkward? 49 Things to Know to Stop Being One & Nail Every Interaction

Being socially awkward isn’t just a case of occasionally feeling embarrassed or getting things wrong. For many people, it can be a real curse, destroying their ability to maintain healthy social lives or develop meaningful relationships.

Often, people suffer in silence, just believing that there’s something inherently wrong with them that can’t be fixed. However, if you suffer one or more of the following symptoms, be assured that the problem is simply an unwanted dose of social awkwardness, which can easily be fixed. [Read: Self loathing: What it is, 25 signs & how to stop hurting yourself]

If you’re wondering whether you’re simply born and destined to be socially awkward, you’re not alone. Many grapple with this question, and the answer lies in a complex mix of factors.

1. Environmental Influences

The settings where we grow up and spend our daily lives significantly impact our social skills. [Read: 19 Secrets to not be shy and awkward around your crush and talk casually]

If you’ve been raised or frequently find yourself in environments where social interaction isn’t encouraged or is negatively perceived, it’s natural to feel out of place in social settings.

This discomfort can stem from not having enough opportunities to practice and refine social skills, leading to a sense of being socially awkward. Schools, workplaces, or even homes with limited social interaction can foster these feelings.

It’s not just about the quantity of social interaction, but also the quality – environments that are overly critical or lacking in support can heighten feelings of awkwardness. [Read: How to never run out of things to say and banish the awkward silence]

2. Family Dynamics

Your family plays a crucial role in your social development. If you grew up in a household where open communication wasn’t encouraged, or where social skills weren’t modeled effectively, you might find yourself struggling in social situations.

In contrast, families that encourage open dialogue and social interaction can help develop more robust social skills.

It’s also about the emotional climate of the family – overprotective or overly critical parenting styles can lead to social anxiety, contributing to feelings of being socially awkward. [Read: 47 Hurtful signs and effects of being the daughter of a narcissistic mother]

3. Peer Interactions

Our peers significantly influence our social development, especially during childhood and adolescence.

Positive peer interactions help develop good social skills, while negative experiences like bullying or social exclusion can lead to long-lasting feelings of social awkwardness.

If your early peer interactions were challenging, you might find yourself carrying those experiences into adulthood, affecting how you interact in social situations now. [Read: Emotional bullying – how to recognize a bully and stand your ground]

4. Biological Factors

Some aspects of our biological makeup can predispose us to social anxiety or awkwardness.

Studies have shown that certain brain chemistry and hormonal balances can affect how we process social cues and respond to social situations.

It’s not a one-size-fits-all, as everyone’s biology is unique, but these factors can play a role in why some people feel more socially awkward than others. [Read: Social anxiety vs. shyness – 37 signs, differences, and ways to overcome them]

5. Genetic Predispositions

Just like we can inherit physical traits, there’s evidence to suggest that social traits can be passed down too.

If social awkwardness is common in your family, there might be a genetic component at play. However, genetics isn’t destiny – it’s just one piece of the puzzle.

6. Neurological Aspects

Neurodiversity, including conditions like autism spectrum disorder, can affect how one navigates social situations. [Read: 37 Secrets to read people by their body language and expressions instantly]

People with neurological differences may process social cues differently, leading to unique social interaction styles. It’s important to recognize that this isn’t about being socially awkward, but rather about having a different social approach.

7. Psychological Factors

Psychological conditions such as social anxiety disorder can contribute significantly to feelings of social awkwardness. When your mind is constantly worried about being judged or making mistakes in social situations, it can be challenging to interact comfortably.

These anxieties can create a cycle where the fear of being socially awkward in itself leads to awkwardness. [Read: 14 Signs of social anxiety that hold you back and how to overcome it]

8. Low Self-Esteem

How you view yourself plays a significant role in your social interactions. If you struggle with low self-esteem, you might doubt your ability to engage effectively in social situations, which in turn can make you feel more socially awkward.

It’s a cycle where poor self-perception feeds social discomfort, which then reinforces negative self-perception.

9. Fear of Judgment or Rejection

Many people who feel socially awkward are deeply afraid of being judged or rejected. [Read: Fear of rejection – 56 signs, causes, and ways to overcome and get over i t]

This fear can make you hyper-aware of yourself in social situations, leading to the kind of self-consciousness and hesitancy that others might perceive as awkwardness.

It’s a natural feeling, but when magnified, it can be a significant barrier to comfortable social interaction.

Now, it might not be that easy to know whether you’re socially awkward or not. You might think you’re just a bit quirky, but there are certain signs that can indicate social awkwardness.

1. Feeling Under the Spotlight

When you’re in social situations, do you feel like everyone is watching you, just waiting for you to make a mistake? [Read: Simple ways to be a more socially conscious person]

If so, this is a classic sign of social awkwardness and anxiety, where your common sense has been defeated by an overwhelming nervousness around other people.

2. Clumsiness

Walking suddenly becomes a massive ordeal when you’re around other people, and a normally comfortable and relaxed gait tightens up into an uncoordinated swinging of limbs. [Read: How to attract women – 41 things all girls find VERY desirable at first sight]

Likewise, all other motor functions respond to your nerves, making the simplest action seem like an intensive test of cognitive control.

Are you one of those people who never knows when to shake a hand or kiss a cheek?

Maybe you struggle to understand when it’s appropriate to laugh or shout, and you nearly never get it right, mainly because you’re overthinking and obsessing over what should be an organic event. [Read: Social cues – what it is, 22 universal behaviors and how to respond to them]

4. Awkward Conversation

When you’re socially awkward, your conversation with others just never flows naturally.

It overlaps and interrupts, or you end up leaving huge silences and overly prominent pauses where it would have been more appropriate to contribute something to say.

Maybe your mind goes blank and you just can’t think of anything to say. [Read: How to make small talk without feeling awkward]

5. Inappropriate Conversation

This is one of the most burningly embarrassing of all the misfires caused by being socially awkward, and it can cause a lot of misconceptions about the nature of your character.

Blurting out a sexist comment in front of a group of people of the opposite sex, for example, relaying crudities in polite company, or failing to enter the spirit of a drunken night out with friends can severely cripple any social situation.

6. The Man on the Moon Syndrome

Do you, quite simply, feel like everyone else is from a different planet? Like there is nothing in common between you and the rest of humanity, which then leads you to seek your own company more and more?

If so, you are definitely suffering the ill consequences of social awkwardness. [Read: 7 powerful ways to combat and break out of loneliness]

Here’s How to Not Be Socially Awkward

Unfortunately, there is no one answer to overcoming your awkwardness. But you can implement a number of steps over time that will eventually curb your nervousness when out in public.

If you think you do suffer from this particular curse and wish to do something about it, then the following steps can be ways to get over your social hurdles and start mingling with the rest of society.

1. Think Outside Yourself

You are not the center of the universe, and not everyone is thinking about or looking at you. [Read: Lessons to deal with judgmental people]

They’re thinking about their jobs, partners, children, and a thousand other things, but usually not you. Once you realize this, you’ll be a lot happier interacting with others.

2. Listen

A lot of the reason why you get conversational and social cues wrong is that you’re so tense and worried about making mistakes that you don’t listen properly to people.

Start to focus on your listening skills and let the virtuous circle begin. [Read: Ways to be a better listener]

3. Stop

If you’re getting clumsy, getting things wrong, and becoming aware that you’re making things a bit awkward, then STOP.

Stop everything—thought, movement, speech, etc.—and take a deep breath before starting over again. Even slippery slopes can be climbed.

4. Straighten Up

You probably don’t feel like you need to be told to sit up or stand up straight, but people with social awkwardness do tend to collapse in on themselves. [Read: 10 subtle body language moves to appear more confident]

Despite the fact that slouching makes you look a bit odd and uncomfortable, it also impedes clear breathing and speech, which is likely to increase the number of social mistakes you make.

If you feel more confident and upright, it’s easier to act that way, and the two will then stimulate each other in a cycle of increased confidence.

5. Smile

Smiles and laughter are proven to relax you, reducing your awkwardness as well as putting others at ease so that they are more comfortable in your presence. [Read: 17 Life secrets to smile more often, feel great, and laugh your stress away]

This latter point, in turn, will add to your own comfort levels.

6. Get Started

A simple interview technique that works equally well in social situations is to initiate the conversation.

Asking questions and complimenting people give you the power and control over the conversation, as well as put others at ease. A brilliant tactic to diffuse your nerves. [Read: Powerful steps to break out of your comfort zone]

7. Learn to Laugh at Yourself

Don’t beat yourself up if you trip, stumble, or say something a bit silly. Really, there’s nothing wrong with being socially awkward.

Those who learn to laugh at themselves come off as supremely confident, and the simple act of laughter itself will break the tension. [Read: How to be funny: 28 must-know tips to make everyone love your humor]

As you’re talking to people, make mental notes of things they are saying. This serves several purposes. Firstly, it will force you to listen to the conversation and get your social cues right.

Secondly, the act of committing things to memory will distract you from your own nerves, a kind of auto-cognitive sleight of hand.

Thirdly, you can use those mental notes later in the conversation to stimulate further talk and bridge any awkward silences. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with the opposite sex]

9. Tighten Up

This is a bizarre tip, but it really does work to get over feeling social awkward. If you’re sitting down while in a social situation and you feel your nerves start to rise, then clench your buttocks tight and keep them clenched.

For some reason, this simple act seems to relax the rest of your body, as well as distract your mind from the anxiety that it’s starting to indulge in.

10. Don’t Dwell

There’s an obsessive-compulsive element to most social awkwardness, and the mind tends to dwell upon mistakes you’ve made, pulling you into your own head and out of real life. [Read: 38 Secrets to stop overthinking, what it looks like, signs, and the fastest fixes]

When this happens, you become even more awkward, so you need to utilize the “Mindful Stop” technique.

This essentially means mentally shouting out the word “stop” as loudly as you internally can, and use that thinking space to refocus on real life.

You may have to do this a few times in succession, and it might take a little practice to make it truly effective, but it does work if you persevere. [Read: How to date when you have low self-esteem and find true happiness]

11. Seek Feedback from Trusted Friends or Family

Sometimes, getting an outside perspective can be invaluable. Talk to friends or family members you trust and ask them for honest feedback about your social interactions.

They might provide insights into specific areas you can improve, like maybe you don’t make enough eye contact or tend to interrupt others. Remember, the goal here isn’t to feel criticized but to gain constructive advice.

Use this feedback as a roadmap for what specific social skills to focus on. Just remember, everyone’s perspective is subjective, so take their advice as one part of a larger picture. [Read: True friendship – 37 real friend traits and what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

12. Engage in Active Listening

Being a good listener is a key part of being less socially awkward. Active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively hearing the words.

Show that you’re engaged by nodding, making eye contact, and responding appropriately. This not only makes the speaker feel valued but also takes the pressure off you to do all the talking.

Plus, by really listening, you might find it easier to contribute to the conversation since you’re more in tune with what’s being discussed. [Read: Ways to be much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]

13. Join a Club or Group with Similar Interests

Finding a group or club that aligns with your interests can make social interactions feel more natural and less forced. When you’re engaging in an activity you enjoy or discussing a topic you’re passionate about, conversation can flow more easily.

This setting provides a structured way to interact socially, which can be less intimidating than more open-ended social situations.

Plus, it’s a great way to meet people with whom you already have something in common, making initial conversations less awkward. [Read: 33 easy ways to meet new people and widen your social circle effortlessly]

14. Work on Your Nonverbal Communication

A large part of communication is nonverbal, including facial expressions, body language, and gestures. Work on being more aware of your nonverbal cues and how they might be interpreted by others.

Simple things like maintaining good posture, making appropriate eye contact, and using gestures can significantly improve how you’re perceived in social settings.

Practicing in front of a mirror or recording yourself can be a great way to see how you come across and make adjustments. [Read: Subtle body language moves to appear more confident]

15. Consider Professional Help if Needed

If your social awkwardness feels overwhelming and is significantly impacting your life, it might be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist, especially one specializing in social skills or anxiety, can provide tailored strategies and support.

They can help you understand the root causes of your social challenges and work with you to develop practical skills to overcome them. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Sometimes, we’re not taught the nuances of social interaction growing up. In such cases, educating yourself can be incredibly beneficial. There are numerous books, online courses, and videos dedicated to improving social skills. [Read: 26 Social mind tricks to be more outgoing, friendly, and talkative instantly]

These resources can offer practical advice and exercises to practice. Learning about social dynamics intellectually can sometimes make it easier to apply these skills in real-life situations.

Instead of setting out to completely overhaul your social skills overnight, set small, manageable goals. For example, if starting conversations is hard for you, you might set a goal to initiate a small talk with a colleague once a day.

Or, if you’re uncomfortable in large groups, start by attending a small gathering and gradually work your way up. Celebrate these small victories; they’re significant steps towards becoming less socially awkward. [Read: 34 Secrets to be more social and connect with people if you have no social life]

18. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Anxiety often accompanies social awkwardness, so learning to manage your anxiety can be beneficial. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help calm your mind and reduce stress.

When you’re more relaxed, social interactions can feel less daunting. Plus, mindfulness encourages you to live in the moment, which can help you be more present and engaged in social situations.

19. Embrace Your Unique Qualities

Sometimes, what we perceive as social awkwardness is simply our unique personality. Embrace the qualities that make you different. [Read: Love yourself first – where people go wrong, 36 whys, and how to do this right]

Remember, you don’t have to fit a certain mold to be accepted socially; often, it’s our quirks that make us memorable and endearing. Learning to be comfortable in your own skin can reduce the feelings of awkwardness, as confidence is key in social interactions.

If face-to-face interactions are particularly challenging, start by engaging on online platforms. This can be a less intimidating way to practice interacting and expressing yourself.

Join forums, social media groups, or online communities that interest you. The key is to engage actively – post comments, join discussions, and even reach out to individuals. [Read: Social media addiction – the alarming symptoms and how to break out]

This can help build your confidence in social interactions, which can then translate into the offline world.

21. Learn from Socially Skilled Individuals

Observe people you consider adept in social situations. How do they start conversations? What body language do they use? Learning from others can provide valuable insights into effective social behaviors.

You don’t have to mimic them exactly, but picking up certain techniques and adapting them to your style can be helpful. Remember, it’s about learning, not comparing yourself to others. [Read: How to be charming – adorable habits of really likeable people]

22. Reflect on Past Interactions

Spend some time reflecting on your past social interactions, both the successful ones and the awkward ones. Analyze what went well and what could have been better.

This reflection isn’t about being hard on yourself but about learning and growing. Understanding your social strengths and weaknesses can help you focus on what areas to improve.

23. Don’t Overthink Post-Interaction

It’s common to ruminate over what you said or how you acted in social situations. However, this overthinking can increase your anxiety and feelings of awkwardness. [Read: Signs of social anxiety that hold you back and how to overcome it]

Remind yourself that others are likely not analyzing your behavior to the degree you are. Most people are more focused on their own social behavior than on scrutinizing yours.

24. Volunteer or Do Community Work

Engaging in volunteer work or community activities can provide a structured environment for social interaction.

It also takes the focus off you and puts it on the task at hand, which can reduce feelings of self-consciousness. Plus, the positive feelings from helping others can boost your mood and confidence. [Read: Ways volunteer work can help heal depression]

Why should we learn to not be socially awkward, you ask? Well, social awkwardness isn’t just about feeling a bit out of place at parties or struggling to start conversations. It can have far-reaching effects on various aspects of life, some of which might surprise you.

1. Effects on Personal Relationships

Social awkwardness can significantly strain personal relationships. [Read: How not to be boring and get people excited to talk and be around you]

When you’re socially awkward, you might find it challenging to initiate or maintain conversations, leading to misunderstandings or a sense of distance with friends and loved ones.

If you’re constantly worried about how you’re perceived, you might hold back in sharing your true self, making it hard to form genuine, close relationships. This can lead to a sense of loneliness and isolation, even when you’re surrounded by people.

2. Impact on Professional Life

In the workplace, social awkwardness can hinder your ability to network, collaborate with colleagues, or even participate effectively in meetings. [Read: How to speak clearly – 30 secrets, the psychology, and hacks to master it]

It’s not just about the social aspect but also about how these interactions can affect your career growth.

If you’re seen as unapproachable or unable to work well in a team, it might limit your opportunities for promotions or special projects. Remember, your technical skills get you the job, but your social skills often help you grow in it.

Moreover, if you’re constantly anxious about social interactions at work, it can lead to increased stress and decreased job satisfaction. [Read: 41 Rules of life to never be unhappy and be the one who screams, “I love my life!”]

3. Mental Health Implications

Consistently feeling socially awkward can take a toll on your mental health. It can lead to increased feelings of anxiety, particularly social anxiety, and can even contribute to depression.

The constant worry about how you’re perceived in social situations can be mentally exhausting, leaving you feeling drained and unhappy.

Additionally, if social awkwardness leads to isolation, it can exacerbate these mental health issues, as social support is a key factor in mental well-being. [Read: 45 Secrets to be more positive and fill your mind with positive emotions 24/7]

4. Lowered Self-Esteem and Confidence

Regularly feeling out of place or uncomfortable in social situations can lead to a decrease in self-esteem and confidence.

If you start believing that you’re inherently socially inept, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, where you’re less likely to put yourself in social situations, thus reducing your chances to improve your social skills.

This lack of confidence can spill over into other areas of your life, affecting your willingness to take risks or try new things. [Read: 55 Secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

5. Difficulty in Conflict Resolution

If you’re socially awkward, you might find it hard to navigate conflicts, whether in personal relationships or at work. The ability to express your thoughts and feelings effectively is crucial in resolving disagreements.

Without these skills, misunderstandings can escalate, leading to strained relationships and unresolved issues. It’s not just about being able to argue your point; it’s also about understanding and acknowledging others’ perspectives.

6. Challenges in Expressing Emotions

Social awkwardness can make it difficult to express your emotions appropriately. [Read: 52 Happy habits and ways to find happiness within yourself and feel better]

You might struggle to find the right words to express how you feel or misread others’ emotional cues, leading to miscommunications.

This can be particularly challenging in close relationships, where emotional exchange is key. When your emotions are misinterpreted or not communicated effectively, it can lead to feelings of frustration and isolation.

7. Impacts on Education

For students, social awkwardness can affect their educational experience. Group projects, class discussions, and even everyday interactions with peers and teachers can be daunting. [Read: Social anxiety to social butterfly – how to be less awkward]

This can lead to underperformance academically, not because of a lack of understanding of the material, but due to the anxiety and stress of social interactions.

One of the most direct effects of being socially awkward is the tendency to withdraw and isolate oneself. If social situations make you uncomfortable, you might start avoiding them altogether.

However, this isolation can lead to a lack of social support, which is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. The less you interact with others, the more challenging it can become, creating a vicious cycle. [Read: Why do I feel so alone? 14 truths that can heal and change your life]

9. Difficulty in Networking and Building Connections

In today’s world, networking is key for career advancement and personal growth. If you’re socially awkward, you might find it hard to reach out to new people, attend networking events, or even make small talk.

These limitations can prevent you from meeting potential mentors, friends, or collaborators, hindering your personal and professional development.

Finally, for someone who’s socially awkward, everyday social situations can become sources of significant stress. [Read: Introvert problems – 12 quick fixes to nip the bad ones in the bud]

Simple activities like attending a party, going on a date, or even participating in a work meeting can provoke anxiety. This constant stress can affect your overall quality of life, making you feel like you’re always on edge.

Leave That Wallflower Mentality at Home!

Now that you’re armed with a little knowledge and the tools to combat feeling socially awkward, it’s time to start living your life how it’s meant to be lived, and leave that wallflower mentality at home!

[Read: Shy extrovert – what it means, 16 signs, and how they’re not like others]

Trying to stop being socially awkward isn’t easy, but if you’re determined and self-motivated, then you’ll pull through. Don’t give up and remember, you’re going to have some bumps along the way…but keep going. Each challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow.

The post Socially Awkward? 49 Things to Know to Stop Being One & Nail Every Interaction is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.

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Tuesday 28 May 2024