Learn about picking up girls fast from parties, beach bars, and music festivals with Hue, our Skilled Seducer of the Month of September 2024.This month we interview Hue, a long-time Skilled Seducer Forum member who’s recently been on an absolute tear, bedding one girl after another. His wild reports and weekend benders have plenty to teach – and in this discussion, we looked at just what Hue’s been doing to pull such awesome results.
Showing interest in girls directly is easy: “You’re so sexy. You’re hot.” But what if you need to be subtler? Then you must show interest INDIRECTLY.Hi guys and welcome back.
I have recently been writing about the indirect approach, discussing indirect approach benefits and indirect approach styles. Today, I want to cover how to show interest in women using indirect game.
How do you show interest indirectly? This can be confusing:
If indirect game is about not revealing your cards, how does that mesh with the necessity of showing interest in a girl?
When should you show interest?
How should you show disinterest? And when?
Will a girl know I am interested in her if I hold back my interest in her? Or should I only show it subtly?
Will I appear weak or unconfident by hiding my interest when she has good reasons to suspect I like her? Would it be preferable to “spill the beans” and be direct and confident?
Even if you have answers to some of these, you may only know some of the answers. The answers to these questions can be subtle.
I will tackle questions one and two today and, in the following weeks, move on to the others.
In my last two posts, I briefly mentioned showing interest when using indirect game. Today, I talk about this in more depth.
Let’s jump into it.
Can you just approach a girl in a low energy, monotone way? Nope. You want to aim to come in energetic, outgoing, adventurous, playful, and fun.One of the least-discussed but most important aspects of approaching girls is energy level. When guys come in timid, nervous, hesitant, monotone, shy, or bored, they usually flop. This is something you are VERY aware of as a practiced seducer, yet very few men realize starting out.
The other day, a forum member posted this video on our forum, along with the comment, “This guy is quite Chad-like; tall, buff, and handsome. Kinda debunks the BP [black pill] theory of ‘all girls wanna bang Chad’.”
He asked where this guy got his approach wrong. I gave a quick breakdown (props to him for trying and posting his videos; yet this guy still has lots of room for improvement) here. Some of the worst are his opening angles and his liberal use of neo-direct.
However, the absolute biggest thing he is fudging is in his vibe: his voice is monotone, his openers are generic and un-grabbing, his body language is defensive, and (as Will_V pointed out in that thread) he leaves loads of awkward pauses in his conversation.
He comes across unconfident and low energy in his approach, and it’s reflected in how women receive him.
Women signal their interest in men often. But there’s some debate: is it worth paying ATTENTION to women’s signs of interest or not? It is… sometimes.On the forum, I have a thread entitled “Sexually inexperienced men need time and exposure to receptive women to learn to sense and respond to receptive women’s signals.” It references my article that asks why most men can’t see girls’ signs of interest and links up several studies on mice and hamsters that find inexperienced males are bad at reading the signs of receptive female mice and hamsters.
Just like humans, it takes other male mammals time and experience to learn to read signs of receptivity and know how to respond to them.
We’ve had some interesting discussion on that thread, but I want to address a recent comment from user ChrisXKiss. He asks
Chase regarding this, how much does it really translate to results with women?
I always wondered, because even when I seemed to get attention, I would go open and the whole dynamic would change to: Oh so you do like me? Cute, but don’t expect much more.
It felt a bit like there was no point to carefully pay attention to indicators of interest, since they didn’t translate much to results anyway.
It’s probably because after I approach my attention is on the girl, I just want to get to know her and especially if she has given me a sign of interest I do this faster, since I know that the attraction is there anyway. Then I suppose it feels like I am too eager.
Maybe I should change my mindset when noticing signs, because my immediate reaction is: Ok this one likes me, let’s do this. I think they feel I approach them only because I saw the sign and think it will be easy, so they try to make it difficult.
But it’s difficult to even use signs of interest with girls I really like, since I notice them right away, and if I don’t go to approach immediately, it feels like I am waiting around trying to find a chance to talk to them. I think they feel I am interested from the get go, so they don’t give any signs, and the more time I spend not opening the more unattractive I become.
I know I should just not pay attention to them that much if I want them chasing, but it’s difficult when I see hot girls around to not take a look and check them out. I started doing it to overcome the shy barrier of not looking at people and sexualising women, but maybe I should force myself to stop.
So I am wondering what is even the correct way to take notice of them, since being aloof doesn’t really work either. Is it bad to show when you look at them that they really excite you? I think with the hottest ones they just see it in my eyes right at the open or even before.
I guess advice can also be conflicting sometimes, since I know that both your approach and Hector’s work, that said they are different as you mentioned, so sometimes I am wondering whether for example I am not showing my desire in the right way, or I should just not even show it up front, and I go back and forth, with neither really landing.
There’s a lot in there, but if we bullet out his questions/comments, they’d be:
How much does getting attention from women really translate to results?
Girls who give him attention, whom he then opens, feel validated then lose interest.
He fears he may be coming in too eager when he approaches girls.
Maybe it’s difficult to use signs of interest with girls you really like.
It’s hard not to check out hot girls when he sees them.
Being aloof also does not work.
I want to talk about these here (and try to make it concise because I’m a bit short on time at the moment). To do so, we need to differentiate between sincere signs of interest vs. signs of interest solely aimed at gaining male attention and validation.
It’s a lot of fun when a cute girl’s chasing you. But when and how do you make the switch to taking the lead with a girl who is in pursuit?On my article about what to do when girls won’t sleep with you at your place, R comments:
Some articles emphasize leading, but other articles (and the name of the site) emphasize making her chase. To me they seem mutually exclusive. Is there any rule or principle on when each is applicable?
It’s a good question.
As I responded to R in that comment section, you can think of chasing as an implicit form of leading.
Observe a woman with a man chasing after her. He pursues, pursues, pursues… and at last she relents and tells him, “All right, you may buy me a drink.” He buys her the drink.
Who is leading and who is following?
Would you say the man is leading?
Obviously not, no. It is the woman – she led him to chase her, then she told him when he was allowed to invest, then told him exactly what to do.
At any point in a real seduction, you must be able to switch between making girls chase you (implicit leadership) vs. explicitly instructing them on what to do / moving things forward directly yourself (explicit leadership).
This can be a delicate balance to maintain, though – and many guys miss one half of the equation or the other.
Does it seem like women are out there slutting it up, picking the worst men, because their taste in men is just so poor? Is that real… or is it illusion?Commenting on my article “How Girls Think“, a reader named Walter remarked the following:
You, and pretty much every dating expert or PUA always portray women as cautious beings who judge every move you make and put every word of your’s on a scale. If that were true how come women sleep with many men? How come they complain about almost every man they have slept with and return to the “toxic” men they have been with? If we know one thing for sure it’s that women rarely ever make the “right” decision for them, at least not what they had in mind. So how can men really pay attention to their sigins when their signs are contradicting?
I hear stuff like this a lot pouring out of the red pill side of the Internet. It’s definitely fantastic rage bait and gets men stirred up into all kinds of inflamed passions.
Is it true? Are women, like Walter insists, all big sluts who go around shagging tons of men while also having atrocious taste in men and annoyingly complaining endlessly about said atrocious taste?
Well, women sure do complain a lot, I’ll give you that.
However, this perception of women as giant sluts with awful taste in men, as you will soon see, is dramatically amplified online (the matrix) far beyond offline reality by a certain few parties who (mostly) unintentionally blow it up: pickup artists, red pill figures, as well as women themselves.
Am I saying women themselves make themselves come across far looser and sluttier with far worse taste in men than they in fact actually have?
Yes indeed I am!
Come along on a wild ride with me and I’ll show you just how.
Progress report on Chase Amante’s upcoming book The Roses of Romantic Attraction. Right now we’re in Rose VIII: Compliance. The latest: LTR investment strategies.Are you ready for a deeper, more intuitive, more actionable grasp of romantic attraction than any pickup artist, academic researcher, or self-help guru to ever live?
This is the first progress update I’m posting to Girls Chase on my now-over-one-year-in-the-writing new romantic attraction mastery tome, Roses of Romantic Attraction.
If it’s the first you’re hearing about it, I’ve posted a few previous progress updates on the forum here (you’ll need to be a forum member to read that thread). The book’s intended to be timeless, comprehensive, extremely useful, and unfailingly accurate – drawing upon not just my own extensive experience with girls, with picking girls’ brains, with teaching 10s of thousands of other men to excel with girls, and of running the highest traffic men’s dating advice website in history – but also upon thousands of scientific studies of romantic attraction too.
All boiled down into a simple-to-understand, point-by-point guide to total romantic mastery.
The indirect approach sometimes gets mischaracterized as “not bold.” But that’s not what it is at all. The truth is, it features numerous key benefits over the more direct approach.Hey everyone. I hope you are all doing well.
I’ve posted extensively on indirect game. We define this as a game approach when the seducer holds back on showing interest, usually seducing a girl indirectly and covertly, withholding his display of interest until the time is right. He shows interest after she has returned interest. Then, he reflects her level of interest and calibrates accordingly. If the girl shows more interest, so will the guy; if she shows less, that’s what he does. It’s a smooth way to pick up women that provides tremendous control.
If you have followed me over the years, you know that this is my preferred game style. I have shared posts on this subject about how to use this style. See the following for more.
I have also discussed indirect game indirectly (pun intended) in other articles. However, there are many factors within indirect game that I still need to cover, including the different aspects of indirect game and how to show interest when using this game style.
So, today, I will discuss the reasons why I prefer it.
Keep reading. You may learn a thing or two about indirect game.
If you’re an attractive or sexy man, Plain Janes can be tough. Try your normal approach on them and they get RUDE! Instead, use the “light touch.”I had a conversation recently where I heard this story:
[A few years back] I went out with my college buddy and his girlfriend’s friend group and there was a girl in there who was a VERY GENEROUS 7. The other better looking ones were taken. They tried to set me up when we all went out and she made sure to make a public spectacle of voicing she was very NOT interested and shot me down. Absolutely infuriating dude because you and I both know what was going on there, but to a super unaware seducer like my buddy (just your typical goes all in on a girl who shows him any attention at all type, he’s married to that girl now) it looks like you’re an unattractive slob because a mid 7 shoots you down so hard.
The guy telling this story is a good-looking dude with solid game who shags hot girls off of dating apps on the regular. He not infrequently has girls tell him he is “very handsome” or “could be a model.” He also has a solid sense of humor. He is not some doddering Quasimodo.
Nevertheless, some years back this borderline cute girl shot him down publicly in front of his friends and made him look like an unsexy loser.
At the time, he didn’t understand why – and as she and he were the only single people in the group, it made for a very awkward outing with friends. Coupled with the dry spell he’d been on at the time, and the drinking he ended up doing that evening, he told me he “hit rock bottom” later that night.
The “vicious average girl who nastily shoots you down” phenomenon is not reserved for men with male-model looks though. It’s something I’ve experienced plenty of times, and have talked with other guys about them having experienced too.
Believe it or not, there’s a reliable solution to it that makes it so these girls stop treating you in such a rude way – but you have to understand the psychology behind why they do it, first.
There’s a trend where former pickup artists become cryptocurrency founders and gurus. What on Earth is the relationship between these two disparate fields?There’s a story making the rounds online now about how the Trump team is joining up with a cryptocurrency borrowing and lending service called World Liberty Financial. The lede is that some of the executives previously headed up a hacked crypto app – and one of them is a former pickup artist.
The former pickup artist in question is Zachary Folkman, once known as Zach Bauer, previously of Real Social Dynamics (RSD). Along with Rob Judge, Zach founded Date Hotter Girls, an in-field pickup company with a website that’s still online (unlike many from that era), though its last blog post was in 2016… and its products page is defunct (no coaching on offer anymore either).
As far as cryptocurrency hacks go, a $2 million hack (which is what their previous app was hacked to the tune of) is pretty pedestrian.
The more interesting thing to me is how yet another pickup artist is involved in running a project in the cryptocurrency space. Why do PUAs keep ending up becoming crypto founders & execs?
Dudes keep announcing all these motivation and sex drive difficulties… and then it turns out they jerk off and smoke weed. Well, duh! Knock that trash off!Over the years I have had countless guys come to me in article comment sections, on the forum, or elsewhere to complain they are having all these problems
Getting motivated to go pick up girls
Projecting sexual intent with girls
Getting a firm erection with girls
Maintaining a normal libido & sex drive
Not being overly emotional with girls
We spend all this time troubleshooting, talking about various fixes to these problems but the guys still can’t get around them.
Then it comes out these guys are jerking off all the time and smoking marijuana.
And I am like, “Well, duh! Why are we even talking about other solutions then? Why didn’t you just say that FIRST?”
Apparently, a lot of men do not realize that jerking off all the time and smoking marijuana negatively impacts your ambition, energy, libido, erection firmness, and sexual prowess.
So let’s just be real clear about that now:
Frequent masturbation and/or frequent marijuana toking corrodes your drive and sex energy.
Frames (as used in the social & seductive arts) may appear abstract. Yet they’re key to human interaction. He who controls the frame gets the dame.I started a thread on our forum asking members what concepts in seduction they struggled to grasp. One that came up repeatedly was about frames: frame control, frame grabbing, and simply frames themselves.
Frame is a key concept in pickup. Like all concepts, you don’t have to technically understand the concept to figure out how to do it. A lot of naturals are frame control masters who would not know what you were talking about (at least at first) if you started telling them they had ironclad, magnetic ‘frames’.
To help you really grasp what frames are and how to use them, we’re going to take a closer look at this powerful-but-abstract psychological concept.