Friday, 30 June 2023

Security & Trust in Long-Term Relationships

security & trust in a long-term relationshipPeople must feel secure in their relationships to stay in them. As relationship trust crumbles, security erodes, and people take steps to guard themselves.

In my four-part relationship model, GISS, the first ‘S’ stands for ‘security.’ Security, as I use it for relationships, means a few things:

  • Trust that you are who you seem to be.

  • Trust that you can be relied upon for what’s required.

  • Trust that no outside forces or events can upend the relationship.

The reason I don’t simply call it ‘trust’ is because all these kinds of trust together create a feeling that the relationship is secure. Yet in the absence of this trust, or as the trust erodes, a sense of insecurity prevails.

How secure should you aim to make your relationships? Many men strive to give their women a sense of total security – greater security, in truth, than they can realistically deliver.

It’s a chaotic world out there, full of uncertainty and unknowns. Just as your woman seeks security in her relationship with you, you bear the responsibility of deciding how strong a sense of security you will give her… and whether you can live up to the impression you allow her to have.



Wednesday, 28 June 2023

Masculinity vs Femininity: 27 Traits Stereotypes & the Unique Strengths

Which one do you think is stronger and better… masculinity vs femininity? There is no clear-cut answer, but here are some things to consider in the debate.

Masculinity vs Femininity

When you pit masculinity vs femininity against each other, which do you think comes out on top? Which do you consider to be stronger, or do you consider them to be equal, but stronger in different ways?

Equality is something we’ve been striving for over the last few decades, but we have to remember that masculinity doesn’t always belong to a man, and femininity doesn’t always belong to a woman. 

Anyone can be feminine, just as anyone can be masculine, and you can be both too! [Read: How to respect yourself – 37 secrets of self-respect, self-belief, and self-love]

This argument isn’t about which gender is stronger *that is never going to be an argument worth debating*, but it is about which set of traits is perhaps bolder and therefore stronger than the other.

To start delving into this subject, we need to figure out what traits are attached to masculinity and which are attached to femininity.

What does it mean to be feminine or masculine?

Masculinity vs femininity refers to the traits and characteristics that are typically associated with males and females. [Read: Divine masculine – what it means, 37 qualities, signs, and secrets to awaken it]

Usually, they are conceptualized on opposite ends of a continuum, with masculinity at one end of the extreme and femininity at the other. However, this definition implies that if you’re masculine that you can’t be feminine at all, and vice versa. In other words, they are mutually exclusive and there’s no overlap.

But that’s simply not true. Most people lie somewhere in the middle of the continuum between masculinity and femininity. This means that most people have a blend and a balance of masculine and feminine traits. [Read: Strongest feminine traits and where women fall in this spectrum]

One last important thing to note here is that feminine and masculine traits have nothing to do with someone’s sexual orientation. A man may present himself as more feminine than the average man, but that doesn’t mean he is necessarily gay.

So, as you can see, this complicates the debate about masculinity vs femininity and which is better or stronger. [Read: Feminine guys – 40 signs of a man in touch with his softer side]

The traits of masculinity explained

Let’s start the masculinity vs femininity debate with the masculine traits.

What is considered masculine in one culture might be taken completely differently in another.

For the purposes of this debate, let’s focus on Western society, but be mindful of how other cultures may view the points made. [Read: The alpha male – 65 traits of a real alpha man and true secrets to be one yourself]

So, in Western society, the traits of masculinity *not the traits of a man, but the traits of masculine behavior* are:

1. Courage

2. Independence

3. Resilience

4. Physical and emotional strength

5. Leadership

6. Assertiveness

7. Confidence, even bordering on arrogance

8. A willingness to fight if required

9. On a negative note—disregard for accountability and consequences

10. On a positive note—the protector

A woman may exhibit masculine traits, such as the ones above, more than she exhibits feminine ones we will highlight shortly. [Read: Divine masculine – what it means, 37 qualities, signs, and secrets to awaken it]

The same can be considered vice versa, with a man not really showing many of the masculine traits we’ve just mentioned, but showing more from the feminine traits list. 

This doesn’t define gender at all, it defines character and personality.

The traits of femininity explained

Now we know the main traits of the masculine side of the equation, let’s continue the masculinity vs femininity debate. So, what about feminine traits? [Read: 37 girlish secrets to be more feminine and draw others with your softer side]

The main feminine traits are:

1. Empathy

2. Sensitivity

3. Emotional

4. Caring

5. Compassionate

6. Gentle

7. Nurturing

8. Tolerant

9. Intuitive

10. On the negative side—a tendency toward possible deference

11. On the positive side—a quiet strength

By comparing those two lists of traits, you can see the differences. [Read: Divine feminine energy – what it is and how to tap into the powerhouse]

The masculine traits are designed to be strong, protective, and ‘in your face,’ but the feminine traits are more under the radar, mothering, and nurturing.

Can you show both? Absolutely, in fact, most of us do!

Stereotypes of masculine and feminine roles

We also associate men and women with certain types of masculine and feminine roles in society. Here are some of the most common ones. [Read: Metrosexuality – what it is and the signs and benefits of being a metrosexual man]

Men

1. Provider

Traditionally, the man is the one who goes out of the house to work and bring home the money for the family to live on.

He provides a roof over their heads and food on the table. This role even goes back to the caveman days when the male went out to hunt for food.

2. Boss

Because being dominant is more of a masculine trait, we typically think of men as having more power in society. [Read: How to be dominant – 20 calm and firm ways to be the real alpha]

This includes not only being a boss in the workplace but at home too. They tend to hold more positions of power in all sectors of society.

3. Protector

Males have a much higher ratio of muscle to fat than women do. They are also taller, bigger, and stronger.

Because of this, they tend to play the role of protector as well. Men are more likely to fight off intruders and rescue their families from fires than women are. [Read: The 35 best manly drinks, what makes them masculine, and must-know secrets]

Women

1. Nurturer

Women have babies, so they are hard-wired in their brains to take care of their young. They feed, hold, and protect them. It’s the woman’s role to be the main nurturer because they carry their offspring in their body and give birth to them.

2. Teacher/Nurse

Because women tend to be more nurturing, they tended to go into professions such as teaching and nursing. Teachers work with children *as do mothers* and nurses take care of and nurture patients *just like mothers*.

3. Protected

While the males are the protectors, the women, and the children are the protected ones. [Read: Feminine energy – how to embrace it, release it, and increase it]

That’s why when disasters happen, such as on the Titanic, they always say “women and children first.” The men are the ones who sacrifice themselves to protect them.

Masculinity vs femininity: strength on both sides of the coin 

The original question that was asked was masculinity vs femininity; which is stronger? Now, from reading the traits and from what you already know of both types of personality, which do you think is stronger?

Think about your views for a second.

Most likely, neither is stronger, and both have their strengths and weaknesses, and someone can exhibit signs of masculinity and femininity within their character. [Read: Dating feminine men – is it a boom or bust?]

Someone could also be masculine for a period of time, perhaps due to a mood or even what has happened in their life. Then they can switch to a more feminine type of personality.

We are not born masculine or feminine, it is developed within us. This has nothing to do with your gender, whether you class yourself as male, female, non-binary, or anything else. 

It has everything to do with your character and the way you deal with situations, how you treat other people, and how you live your life. [Read: 55 secrets and self-love habits to build confidence and realize your worth]

So, which is stronger…masculinity vs. femininity? 

Both. Let’s explain why.

Masculine strength is more physical. Masculine energy is often exhibited via a show of physical or verbal strength. It is not afraid to play the typical old-fashioned view of how a man should behave. [Read: 15 gender stereotypes of males we need to let go of for good]

In terms of emotional strength, masculine energy doesn’t often talk about feelings, it’s more of a tendency to bottle things up and use them for something else, e.g. pouring it into work or maybe something physical, such as exercise.

Masculinity is strong in a traditional way, but that doesn’t mean that femininity isn’t strong in a different way. [Read: What makes a man a man? 20 manly and relevant traits that defy stereotypes]

Femininity is equally as strong in terms of personality traits, but in a quieter way. 

Think of a strong feminine figure you have in your life, whether a man or a woman, but someone who shows strong feminine traits. [Read: Effeminate men – what it means, 4 types, and 25 signs a guy has a softer side]

They will stick up for you and fight for you tooth and nail, but they will not do it physically.

They will do it through support, understanding, being your rock, and pushing you to go out and prove people wrong. It’s a different type of strength, an inner strength that doesn’t require a physical connection.

Feminine energy is also about doing anything for someone they love. Think of a mother’s love for their child. [Read: Sex-positive feminism – what it is and why we must embrace the movement]

We’re not going towards gender here, but that’s a good example to think about. This love is unwavering, it never ends, and it never disappears. 

Femininity is strong in its ability to overcome challenges but never waver.

How can you show both masculinity and femininity at the same time?

Most of us do and don’t even realize we’re doing it. [Read: 40 signs of high testosterone, what it means, causes, and ways to increase it]

Whichever traits you exhibit most of the time, it’s simply important to embrace them and own them.

Some days you might feel more calm and gentle, showing feminine traits, and other days you might feel fired up, almost like you want to beat your chest in a show of power. That’s a masculine energy coming out.

We exhibit both because we are both. The times we show each type of energy depend upon what is going on around us, how we feel, and what we’re trying to achieve. [Read: Alpha female – who she is, 31 big alpha traits, and how to be her or date her]

A man is not born masculine. A woman is not born feminine. 

There are many feminine men, just as there are many masculine women. As we’ve said a few times, gender isn’t in the equation here, it’s about how you are as a person, and the situations that cause you to act or feel in a certain way.

Which would you consider yourself to be predominantly?

[Read: Being sex positive – why this matters and why you need to get on board]

If you want an answer to the masculinity vs femininity strength debate, you’re probably going to find countless views on the issue. The only view that really matters is your own.

The post Masculinity vs Femininity: 27 Traits, Stereotypes & the Unique Strengths is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



30 Casual Questions to Ask Someone You Just Met to Read Them Like a Book

So you want to get to know somebody? Try these random questions to ask someone you just met, and learn what makes them tick!

questions to ask someone you just met

Sometimes, the best way to get to know someone you just met is by throwing a few carefully-chosen questions their way. This doesn’t mean you sit them down, shine a torch in their face, and fire question after question at them. It isn’t an interrogation! But it does mean naturally slotting a few carefully placed queries into the conversation.

So, do you want to read strangers like a book and know all about them straight away? Just use these questions to ask someone you just met.

By the end of the conversation, you’ll have found out everything you need to know about their personality. You’ll understand their likes, their dislikes, and even the way they see the world.

Of course, if you ask a question, you have to be prepared to give an answer yourself. They’re also trying to get to know you too! 

But if you’re brave enough—and prepared enough—this feature will show you all the tips and tricks you need to get to know people instantly.

[Read: 30 ways to get to know someone, open up to them, and create a genuine bond]

How do you talk to someone you’ve just met

It’s natural to be wary of strangers. It might even be your mind’s way of keeping you safe from harm. However, most strangers are nothing to be afraid of. In fact, they might even be more scared of you than you are of them! [Read: How to start a conversation with a stranger and say the right things]

Anyway, it’s not as if you’re going up to random people in public and grilling them about their life stories.

By the time you get to ask these questions, you’re probably out of the ‘stranger’ category and into ‘acquaintance’. That means you’ll already have loosened up a little, and might even be on your way to becoming friends. All you need is a little more mutual understanding.

So, the most important thing to remember when talking to someone you just met is this: be confident. Keep your shoulders back, hold your head high, and wear a big smile on your face.

If you show them the best side of yourself, they’ll be able to understand what’s so great about you. Then, they’ll feel confident enough to show you what’s so great about them too!

Why is asking the right questions important?

Sometimes, it can be hard to break the ice. Random questions are the perfect way to break even the thickest ice.

When the atmosphere starts to turn, you can simply spice things up by bringing in a question from left field.

Sure, it might seem like it’s coming out of the blue. But at least it’s something to talk about! This explains why it’s so important to always have questions on hand.

[Read: 60 deep and fun get-to-know-you questions to peek into their soul]

Also, when you meet somebody, you want to get to know as much about them as possible, fast. Of course, sometimes it’s fun to talk to somebody who’s the exact opposite of you.

But if you don’t have anything in common, it’s very unlikely that you’ll form a lasting friendship.

So, asking questions is a great way to know whether it’s worth talking to them!

How to ask questions of someone you just met

Have you ever tried to talk to a stranger, and just got tongue-tied? Maybe you suddenly couldn’t think of anything interesting to say, and just started stuttering?

Or, you put your foot in your mouth and said something dumb? If you’ve ever experienced these embarrassing situations, we’re here to tell you it’s not going to be like that every time.

Asking totally random questions of somebody you’ve just met has to be done right. That way, you can find that common ground and warm things up, without looking weird. Here’s how to ask a stranger questions—the right way! [Read: 55 personal questions to make someone open up and talk to you]

1. Start simple

Start off with the simplest questions that don’t take a lot of emotional effort. Just surface-level, basic questions. These will warm things up and kick off the conversation properly.

If you go in too hard, you might scare the other person away. So keep things simple to start off with.

2. Share as you go along

How can you expect them to answer questions if you don’t have the answers yourself? Lead by example.

Whenever you ask a question, share something about yourself too. Or, give them the opportunity to ask you a question back. It’ll make them feel more involved, and stop things from feeling one-sided.

3. Dig deeper as you get to know them

As you get to know them better, you can start asking more and more personal questions. A conversation is like digging for gold; the longer you work, the deeper you go.

And as you go deeper, you’ll find the really valuable stuff! You could even try branching off of certain questions to take things deeper.

Think of our list as a jumping-off point.

[Read: 30 deep, thought-provoking questions that’ll leave you curious and wondering]

4. Don’t push anything that’s too personal

Of course, there’s such a thing as *too* deep. Be aware that there are some topics that might be too personal for the person you’re talking to.

Not everybody feels comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts, and that’s OK. Sometimes it might be something that isn’t even controversial in your eyes. But if they’re uncomfortable, stop. Just move on to a different topic.

5. Enjoy and appreciate it!

Above all, it’s important to enjoy it. This is supposed to be a fun way to get to know somebody, not a third-degree interrogation.

Asking questions of someone you just met is all about fun and discovery. So, remember to keep it entertaining, and be grateful to the person for their answers. Appreciate that they’re game enough to share their thoughts with you!

[Read: 71 friendly, funny questions to get to know someone]

Questions to ask someone you just met

So, it’s time for the questions. Check out our top 30 perfect questions to ask someone you just met.

Then, try them out next time you meet someone you fancy getting to know a little better! Trust us—you’ll be able to read them like a book.

1. What is your number one favorite TV show? 

This question will tell you a lot. First of all, you’ll find out what type of genre they’re into. Is it comedy? Or horror? Maybe it’s true crime!

Of course, there’s also the chance that they’re going to give you a very generic answer too. “Friends” is a go-to for most people! But even then, that tells you that they’re basic.

[Read: 65 fun and deep questions to ask your best friend and bond like real BFFS]

2. What music did you like when you were growing up? 

This is probably going to make them cringe a little. Everyone liked embarrassing music of some kind when they were a teenager!

It might have been a boyband or a really terrible Europop group. It’s fun to find out at least. Maybe they’re still a big fan!

3. What music do you enjoy now? 

If you’re going to ask them what music they liked when they were growing up, it’s only fair that you give them the chance to redeem themselves by telling you what they love now.

However, do be prepared for an equally embarrassing answer! Either way, it’s one of the best questions to ask someone you just met because most people like music. And their taste in music can usually predict their personality too. [Read: 45 positive and negative personality traits that can change your life forever]

4. Who is your Hollywood crush? 

This is an interesting one and it’s probably going to put them on the spot for a second! Could it be someone you really like too?

It could be someone you’ve never even heard of. Or, it could be someone who’s passed away that they still hold a soft spot for.

5. What is your favorite sport? 

Perhaps they don’t like sport, but most people enjoy at least one type of sport occasionally. You can learn a lot about a person from the sport they watch.

For example, a team sport tells you they’re super social, while a solo game says they’re introverted.

6. What is your favorite food? 

This is a great question to get to know someone *especially a potential date* because it tells you what type of restaurant to book for a second meeting. But if they love fish and you hate it, there could be problems!

Best of all, it’s an easy one to answer. Everybody eats food, and everybody knows which foods they like. [Read: Questions to ask a new friend – 85 ways to feel like BFFs in no time]

7. Where do you like to hang out? 

You’re not asking this so you can follow them there, just to be clear! It’s interesting to find out where people spend their spare time.

Maybe they go somewhere quiet and chilled out, or maybe they like to be surrounded by a crowd. You might even find that you hang out at the same places already. 

8. Do you have any pets? 

Finding out if someone is an animal lover is a must-do. In our eyes, if someone loves animals, they’re a nice person.

They might have a mini animal farm at home. Or, they might not have a pet but wish they could. This question might also lead you down a path of stories related to their old pets that have passed. 

9. What is your favorite book of all time? 

This one could put them on the spot because not everyone has a number one book in their mind. Many people just have a series of books that they have enjoyed over time. Some people don’t even like to read.

Either way, it’s fun to find out, and it might be that they enjoy the same books as you. [Read: 25 questions to ask your guy best friend]

10. If you could drop everything and go, where is the first place you would visit?

Ah, a little imagination is needed for this one, which tells you a lot about a person! Will they choose somewhere obscure, will they go for the regular types of places, or will they pick a place that’s bustling with people?

You could push this question a little further and find out about the travel bucket list destinations they want to visit too. 

11. What do you enjoy doing when you’re at home alone? 

Be careful with this one, it could lead to some rather dodgy ground! However, most people won’t give you a kinky answer. They’ll simply tell you that they enjoy chilling out and watching TV, reading, or playing video games.

If they give you an answer that’s a little more creative, that could tell you a lot about them as a person. 

12. Do you enjoy spending time alone? 

Not everyone loves being alone and many people prefer to have others around them. However, some people enjoy the serenity and peace of being in their own company. They might even be a pro at meditation!

[Read: 43 really fun things to do at home when you’re bored, broke, and alone]

13. What type of exercise do you enjoy? 

This question tells you whether they enjoy spending time outdoors, or whether they’re an indoor gym-type of person. It also tells you whether you could exercise together if you get to know each other better.

Of course, they might tell you that they hate exercising. In which case you can just chill on the sofa together instead!

14. Are you a walker or a runner? 

This might seem like a simple question to ask someone you just met. However, it actually goes a lot deeper.

If they say walk, it could be that they prefer a measured and slow pace of life. If they say run, it could be that they’re often in a hurry and want to jump from place to place. 

15. Where were you born? 

Of course, we move around a lot these days. It’s possible that the place you are now isn’t where you or they were actually born. So, you could learn a lot about them by asking this question.

You might even find that you were born in the same place, or you have links that go way back. 

[Read: How to get closer to someone – 15 traits that bring people closer]

16. Are you a cat or a dog person? 

This is one of the best questions to ask someone you just met, especially a potential date. This might sound weird, but it tells you a lot about your romantic compatibility.

If they like cats, perhaps they’re a little rebellious. And if they like dogs, maybe they’re more loyal. Plus, if you like different pets, it might mean you can’t ever move in together!

17. If you could do any job in the world, what would it be? 

It’s sad, but most people aren’t actually doing their dream job. Some are, and that’s great! Yet most people have a career in mind that they wish they could do but never train for.

Find out what theirs is, and then remember to reciprocate and tell them yours. You can learn a lot about a person from the things they wish they were doing.  

[Read: 32 questions to ask your lover to learn everything you need to know]

18. Do you have siblings? 

Do they have brothers and sisters or are they an only child? Are they the baby of the family, the older one, or are they a middle child?

There are theories about the personality traits of siblings and where they are in the family order. So it’s a good thing to find out if those theories are true! 

19. What are your important friendship qualities? 

What does this person look for when they make new friends? Are they focused on loyalty, or do they look for someone who is adventurous and rebellious? This tells you a lot about their values in life and what is important to them. [Read: How to be a good friend – 49 traits and friend codes that define a real pal]

20. Which is more important – quality or quantity? 

This is a searching question. But it’s one of the best questions to ask someone you just met. It’s so great because it tells you whether this is someone who wants it all or someone who wants the best.

21. What is your favorite memory from your childhood? 

Hopefully, you’re not speaking to someone who had a terrible childhood because asking this question could make them uncomfortable. But it’s unlikely to be the first time anyone has asked them this question, so you should be fine.

If they’re giving you a fun memory from their childhood, you will probably be able to see the joy on their face as they recollect the details. [Read: How to start a conversation with a stranger and say the right things]

22. Which do you prefer – beach or snow? 

If you hit it off, you might go on a vacation at some point in the future. So, you have to know whether you’re both into the same kind of location!

Do they enjoy the cold and dramatic scenery of a snow-capped mountain location, or are they a beach person?

23. What is your biggest passion in life? 

This is another deep question but it’s one which will help you get to know them. Are they passionate about helping others? Animals? Travel? Science and research? Family?

It’s a great question to ask and one which could lead to much deeper conversations. [Read: What are you passionate about? How to find and own your desires]

24. Who is your biggest hero in life? 

They could choose a family member or a friend who’s been through a hard time. Or, they might choose a celebrity or a notable figure from history. Who do they look to for inspiration in life?

Of course, you need to think of your own hero figure too to keep the conversation going. 

25. What are you most scared of? 

Most people will come up with a humorous answer to this one. Just because it’s a little awkward to tell someone you’ve just met about what you’re really scared of. But if they do come out and tell you, that means they’re opening up to you. 

[Read: The art of getting someone to open up to you so you two can really connect]

26. Do you like spiders? 

Look, we know spiders are creatures that deserve to be loved, but most people really don’t like them. This question tells you whether this person is on the same level as you or not!

However, it’s also one of the few questions where you actually want to disagree. If you find a spider-lover, they’ll happily catch any unwanted guests for you and put them outside!

27. What would you study if you could go back to school? 

Again, most people have a career they wish they’d pursued and this question will tell you what that is. Maybe they want to learn another language so they can go traveling, or maybe they’ll tell you that they’re really interested in science. It’s a fun question to ask someone you’ve just met. 

28. What are you saving up for? 

For some people, money is a sensitive topic. But if you can spin it in a hopeful direction, it can be fun to talk about.

Your new friend might not be saving up for anything, but most people are in some way. Some are saving up for a deposit to buy a house. Meanwhile, some are saving up for a new car, others are just saving up for a rainy day. It’s one of the more interesting questions to ask someone you’ve just met. 

[Read: How to be more playful and flirty and open up when you meet someone]

29. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Again, this one can get a little sensitive. So tread carefully; you don’t want to bring up any of their insecurities.

However, if they tell you that they wouldn’t change anything because they’re perfect, you have to question them more! Most people have something they’d like to change, whether it’s appearance-wise or personality-wise. 

30. What is your most-used emoji?

It’s totally random, but still,l a fun one to finish off the list! Are they a regular emoji user? Or, do they go for an old-style emoticon? And which one do they usually reach for when they want to finish off a text? Hopefully, it isn’t the peach or the eggplant. Unless you want it to be!

These questions to ask someone you just met will certainly get the conversation rolling. Then, you can get to know them even more!

The post 30 Casual Questions to Ask Someone You Just Met to Read Them Like a Book is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Tactics Tuesdays: Talking About Other Girls

talking about other girlsWhen you talk to girls, talk about other girls. It lets you set sexual frames, communicate popularity with women, and inspire girls to chase you.

Here’s a “golden oldie” of seduction community wisdom:

When talking with girls, talk about other girls.

I first encountered this advice in the first seduction manual I ever read, Swinggcat’s book Real World Seduction. In it, Swinggcat recommended telling girls stories that had other girls in them.

It didn’t take long before I heard this same tactic from other seduction community legends. One advocated talking about “my friend blah blah” and then referring to your friend as “she” and “her” – and if a girl asks, “Is she your girlfriend?” you know you have her hooked.

Another talked about how telling stories about other girls you know or knew allowed women to feel more comfortable around you, showing them you’re not some guy women avoid, while allowing you to show the girls you’re talking to that you have girls just like them in your life already (excellent for attainability).

I don’t see this advice so much anymore, so I figured I’d do a little write up on it specifically, just to get it out there again.



Monday, 26 June 2023

Make Girls Text You Back On IMPULSE (Trailer)

Do you ever feel like there’s something you’re missing when texting girls… where if you just GOT it, the responses, dates, lovers, and girlfriends would begin to deluge in?

That missing aspect is a sense of social obligation – one where a girl feels like she HAS to, and also WANTS to(!), message you back.

A sense she gets from the way you write your texts that compels her to respond to you on impulse.

I’ve created a new System on texting girls in this unique way to create the sense of obligation in them. I call this System “Impulse Texting.”

You can watch Impulse Texting trailer below:

(or watch here)



Sunday, 25 June 2023

Do Drugs Help You Pick Up Girls?

drugs and picking up girlsDrugs are becoming increasingly popular in today’s nightlife scene. But if you’re on the prowl to pick up girls, are drugs a help – or a hindrance?

Hey guys. I hope you are all doing well.

Today I want to discuss a sensitive topic: drugs and seduction. William Gupta, one of our writers, addressed this topic a while back The Truth About Taking Drugs and Hooking Up with Women. I decided to give my take.

Why this post? I am a night gamer, and it is no secret that the nightlife has more drug consumption than elsewhere else. However, be aware that high drug consumption does not define all venues. This past weekend, I went to a club filled with students. Drug consumption was low. Compare this to a music venue (house music clubs and raves are known for high consumptions of MDMA and Ecstasy) or a high-end club (cocaine), and you will notice they are worlds apart.

Honestly, I prefer venues where drug consumption is low. It is easier to run game. MDMA makes everyone behave weirdly, and running good game becomes challenging. Cocaine turns people into loud jerks: girls are bitchier; men are loud and annoying. Drug consumption is a huge problem in my book.

I felt the need to write this post because I’ve noticed that the threshold to try out and take drugs is lower these days. When I started out clubbing around 2010, you seldom saw much drug use in clubs, and if it took place, it wasn’t that visible.

I have noticed that drug use has normalized in the last few years. Seeing lines of cocaine is usual. Lines of 3mmc (a cheaper substitute to cocaine) is not out of the ordinary, and MDMA use at a venue with great music? Well, obviously, you must do that! Who can have fun without it?

I can’t go to ANY venues without girls and guys asking me if I have any or know anyone selling. I know club owners who are frustrated with all the drug sales and usage in clubs. They get in serious trouble if the authorities find out that their venue is a junkie fest or if anything bad happens due to drugs, including rape, overdose, and even death—the latter happened in Paris clubs a few years ago.

I’ve been clubbing for a while and have tried different drugs. I will only talk about drugs common in clubs and those I’ve tried.

I will discuss my experience with them in the context of seduction. However, I will not discuss the following:

  • The dangers of drugs; they are well known. Most are illegal and made in shady labs. You do not know about composition and manufacture. Being a questionable business, they often cut the drugs with dangerous stuff.

  • The illegality of drugs: you commit a legal risk by carrying, offering, and taking drugs. I will not discuss this element.

  • The cost of drugs. Yes, they are expensive.

  • Getting busted taking drugs in a venue. Bouncers will kick you out (rightfully so), and you will be banned from the venue.

These factors are real. You should consider each in your assessment.

  • I will also not discuss alcohol and pick up as I have covered this in a two-part series.

When discussing these drugs, I do so objectively given my experience and avoid moralizing, or at least I’ll try. I think all drugs circulating in clubs lately are annoying and kill the party. At the end of the day, it is your body and your choice.

Here are my experiences with each drug.



Saturday, 24 June 2023

What is a Chode? Why PUAs Hate Them But Women Prefer Dating These Guys

So, you’ve heard the word and thought to yourself, ‘what exactly is a chode?’ Don’t worry… You’re about to find out.

what is a chode

PUA: Pick up artists. You know, those men who take to the streets to claim horribly toxic or sexist comments about men, women, and the world of dating. It seems like every few months, there’s a new one who’s getting called out on social media for spreading harmful messages, and yet they always pop back tenfold.

One idea that’s popular in the PUA world is that of “being a chode”. But what does this mean exactly? And why should we all strive to be more chode-like? [Read: Misogynistic men – what it is, 48 signs, and psychology of a sexist women hater]

So, what is a chode?

According to dictionary.com, the word chode comes from the word “choad”. The word may go as far back as 1968 – a teenage slang of unknown origination. Choad means penis, which is probably what you thought it meant going into this feature. But, it is also slang for someone being a fool or a moron. This is the part that PUAs have really latched on to.

In the PUA world, “chode” is used to refer to someone with “weak game”. In their eyes, chodes can’t get women, nor do they really want to.

Chodes are recognized as not wanting to be players, but because PUAs can’t imagine a world where men want something more than just sex from their relationships, they claim this to be denial or laziness to “improve their game.”

In the wider world, chode is used to describe a very particular penis shape—short in length but wide in girth. So, yes, PUAs believe that men who don’t use women as sexual objects aren’t masculine, and they correlate masculinity with dick size and shape. [Read: Different types of penises – 18 shapes and ones that feel oh-so-good or meh inside you]

Why we should all be more chode-like

PUAs use the term “chode” as an insult, but as you’re going to see, there’s really nothing insulting about the qualities that represent chodes.

In fact, if more men acted like a PUAs definition of a chode, they might better embrace their masculinity and find more luck in the dating world. [Read: Defining true masculinity – what does it mean to be a man?]

So, why should we all be chodes?

1. The chode thinks learning game is wrong

We don’t know what kind of self-obsessed world PUAs are living in if they think that every woman is playing in their weird game. But, in the real world, women are just going about their days with heavy loads on their minds.

“Has the milk gone bad?” “When are the bills due?” “What supplies does my kid need for their homework project?” This is what women are thinking about, they’re totally unaware that the man standing at the bar is working out a formula between time spent eyeing this woman down = guaranteed sex tonight.

The chode doesn’t worry about improving his game because women aren’t playing it! Instead, he trusts that he’ll naturally meet women who are compatible with him.

2. The chode has hobbies

To a PUA, if you have hobbies that aren’t solely based on picking up women, you’re a chode. For example, if you play video games, you’re redirecting your heroism into virtual reality when you could be directing it to reality.

But when is there the opportunity to be heroic in real life? If you want to wind down with some video games, go ahead. Not everything you do has to be about getting laid. [Read: Turn offs for women – 25 things guys do that girls absolutely hate]

3. The chode thinks he’s deserving of love

PUAs don’t think that people are deserving of love. They think that to get women, you have to compete with other men, face rejection countless times, and fiercely hustle in order to get a woman’s attention.

But take it from us, you really don’t! Not every woman out there is going to like you, and that’s okay. You don’t have to dedicate all of your free time to having sex with as many people as you can. Instead, just focus on building those connections and relationships with the people you feel naturally drawn to.

People always say that love always finds them as soon as they stop looking. [Read: When will I find love? 25 secrets that WILL help you find the one]

4. The chode does what women want him to

Apparently, there’s nothing masculine about listening to your partner. Wrong!

There’s nothing masculine about ignoring your partner. Actually, masculinity is all about respecting people the way you want to be respected, so respecting your partner is incredibly masculine.

If anyone tells you otherwise, don’t listen to them. They’re just trying to bring others down to make themselves look better.

5. The chode hates masculinity

A chode certainly disagrees with a certain type of masculinity, and that’s toxic masculinity.

You know, the “men don’t cry,” “men don’t take shit from women,” and “men have to be tough” mindset. Chodes don’t like this way of thinking because they know how damaging and toxic it is.

PUAs look down on men who try to stand up in the face of this toxic masculinity. A chode will try to rescue a female friend from a guy who is mistreating her, and apparently this isn’t a good thing?

In the world of PUAs, men can’t be friends with women without wanting something from them, so helping them just for the sake of helping them is unheard of. Talk about toxic. [Read: 29 secrets to be way more masculine & manly without being an A-hole to others]

6. The chode respects sex

Chodes have a bad reputation when it comes to sex, according to PUAs. And funnily enough, this is because they actually respect sex.

PUAs consider chodes to be naive about sex when in reality, they are the ones who are naive about sex. They think that sex, or any interaction between men and women, is a power struggle. Even in their most intimate moments, they think that they always have to be on their guard.

But sex isn’t a power struggle. It’s not a competition between men to fight other men from out between a woman’s legs to prove himself the worthy mate.

Sex is intimate, it’s personal, and it’s beautiful. Whether you’re having sex with a FWB or a soulmate, it is so much more than just a chance to prove yourself to women and men alike. Chodes are fully aware of that.

7. The chode complains about love

Everyone complains about love. Love sometimes sucks! You can love someone, but they don’t love you. Or you love someone but there’s an obstacle in the way of you being together. Whatever the scenario, love can be hard sometimes. And when the going gets tough, we complain.

PUAs look down on people who complain about the trials of love because they permanently have their walls up against love. They don’t allow love to even enter their life because, again, everything is a power struggle.

But as hard as love can be, it can also be incredibly rewarding, so in the end it’s only the PUAs who are missing out.

8. The chode feels heartbreak

Chodes don’t use heartbreak as a manipulation tactic to bed women. Chodes just feel heartbreak, because when you lose someone you love, that’s heartbreaking.

PUAs can’t comprehend that though. They see a man who is going through heartbreak as a chump who’s trying to use emotions to manipulate women.

So, be a chode. Acknowledge when you’re hurt, and allow yourself to feel that hurt. And for crying out loud, don’t use your emotions to manipulate others! If a PUA could feel emotions, they would use them against others. [Read: How to express your feelings – 16 must-know ideas to speak your mind]

9. The chode thinks… And does little

This is just another way of saying that they think before they act. And if they realize that the consequences of the risk aren’t worth the rewards, then they won’t act.

But PUAs aren’t considerate of others, so they think less and do more. That only hurts those around you, so why would you want to look up to that? Be like a chode, think through your actions.

10. The chode knows how the world should work

Well, the PUAs have got something right for once: chodes do know how the world works.

They know that women aren’t just standing bait, waiting for a man to bite them up. Women, like anyone else, are just going about their day. Sometimes, they’re having a good day, and sometimes a pretty crappy day.

No one wants to be interrupted during a crappy day. Chodes know that, so they give women space. They meet women in a more natural way, not by approaching them with a “have sex with me” sales pitch. [Read: How to approach a girl – 36 secrets to lose the fear and make women want you]

11. The chode believes in a soulmate

He believes there’s one person out there for each one of us—that special one person—that once-in-a-lifetime person. And there’s nothing wrong with that!

Some people are hopeless romantics, some people enjoy the freedoms of the single life. There’s no right answer on how someone should view love, except when that view is very toxic and manipulative.

If you think that there’s a soulmate out there for you, and you’re not interested in playing the field, you’re not less of a man for that. In fact, you’re just as strong as any other man.

When does being a chode become being a ‘nice guy?’

It seems like PUAs have come up with so many terms to define men that they’ve got them confused! Because of that, there are some defining qualities of chodes that don’t actually apply to chodes at all. Instead, they actually apply to “nice guys.”

If you didn’t already know, “nice guys” are actually the opposite of their given title. They are men who are nice to women only with the expectation that they’ll get laid because of it.

When a woman doesn’t fall into bed with a nice guy just because he said his please and thank yous, he shows his true colors, flying off the handle with sexist remarks. [Read: Nice guy syndrome – 42 “fake” things nice guys do and how to stop being one]

So, when is a nice guy just a fake chode in disguise?

1. The nice guy thinks he’s the ‘nice guy’

Well, this certainly helps. If a guy says that he’s a nice guy, what he means is that he plays the same manipulation game on women that PUAs use, except he uses friendship and fake niceness instead of toxic arrogance.

Truly nice guys don’t brag about how nice they are. Because it’s just common decency to be nice to other people.

2. The nice guy is very manipulative

Everyone wants to feel some degree of power over their own life. The nice guy’s domain of influence is in subtle coercion. Emotional manipulation.

He’ll be the type of person to guilt-trip his partner into getting his own way. He’ll say one thing and mean another and he’ll make vague threats based on insecurity. This is really a nice guy in disguise as a chode.[Read: Psychological manipulation – how it works, 37 tactics, signs, and ways to deal]

3. The nice guy is judgmental

If a girl has had sex with more than 2 people, the nice guy will probably say she’s a slut. He generally finds reasons why his insecurities are caused by someone else. He pulls down others who have ideas that are unfamiliar to him, like crabs in a barrel. [Read: Insecure boyfriend – warning signs and how to handle it]

PUAs – what a load of ****

Pick up artists claim to be helping men learn the truth behind what women desire so that they can get lucky in the dating field. Although their intentions seem good, it’s all a front.

Yes, it’s obvious that PUAs are bad because of the downright horrifyingly sexist things they say about women. But really, PUAs are horrible because all they do is tear down and shame other men.

C’mon, if you’re not a player, then you’re literally compared to a small dick. How is that a movement designed to empower or help anyone? [Read: What girls find attractive – 49 traits that make a guy irresistible to women]

Redefining chode

PUA, nice guy, chode. There are so many terms out there to describe men, but what do they all have in common?

All of these definitions revolve around how they choose to use women as objects for pleasure. So, why don’t we just do away with all the terms? [Read: How to respect women – 18 must-know rules all men should learn and follow]

Even if you’re not dating to find your one true love, dating is still just about finding someone you’re compatible with. It’s about getting to know someone on an intimate level, sharing parts of yourself that you seldom share with anyone, and exploring this connection on an emotional and physical level.

No matter how committed two people are to each other, there’s a give-and-take that comes with dating. So, let’s do away with these toxic terms and encourage men to be the best versions of themselves.

Chodes are just normal, well-intentioned, well-developed men. Simple as.

[Read: 18 dating rules to be a good date and must-know toxic habits to avoid]

So, we hope now that you see how great it is to be a chode. It means embracing your emotions, approaching relationships with genuine respect and intent, and not letting toxic ideas of masculinity dictate your life. Go out there and embrace your chodeness!

The post What is a Chode? Why PUAs Hate Them But Women Prefer Dating These Guys is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



Thursday, 22 June 2023

Girls' Signs of Interest: Why Can't Most Men See Them?

missing girls' signs of interestMost guys have ‘signal blindness’ to many of the signs women send. Why is this… and what can they do to start seeing women’s signals and signs of interest?

When I first started coaching men on meeting women, I discovered I had an unusual power nearly none of the men I coached possessed:

I was able to recognize girls’ signs of interest.

Like anyone new at anything, I at first worried about being a bad coach not worth the money students were paying me. However, I soon discovered that simply by directing men to interested women and giving them a few basic things to do, I’d amaze my students.

My more intermediate students could see some of these signs, although often not until I pointed them out. If I told a student like this he’d missed an escalation window with a girl (i.e., a chance to move things forward with her), then pointed out the signs she’d shown that indicated that, he’d nod his head and realize it: “Oh yeah, I did notice her doing that. So that’s why she did that!”

He’d noticed the signs, which means some part of him had learned to pay attention for them… but he hadn’t progressed to acting on them. He hadn’t learned to pounce on such signs.

The guys who were new, on the other hand, were oblivious. They had no idea which girls liked them, or that any did. They could not tell a wildly interested girl from a disinterested one. If you got them into a conversation with a girl opening escalation windows left and right, they’d just keep talking normally. When you asked them why they didn’t take advantage of all the openings the girl was giving them, they’d say, “Huh? I thought she was just talking normally!”

I have sat in on guys’ conversations and dates, helped the guy to pull the girl to another venue, or even to pull her home, all while the guy had no idea the girl was open to doing any of that with him. When we talk later the guy is astounded the girl went that far with him and wants to know how I knew she would.

How I knew she would is simple: girls are constantly signaling their interest levels and openness, and I can see these things… but apparently, surprisingly to me at first, most men cannot.



How to Confess to Cheating: Should You? The Must-Knows & Steps to Do It

You’ve made a mistake—a big one—and it’s weighing heavily on your conscious. You want to confess to your partner that you cheated on them. But should you?

how to confess to cheating - should you

You’re here for one reason—you’ve cheated on your partner. The guilt of your actions is weighing on you, and you just want to make it right. But confessing to cheating might not be the answer you’re looking for. You’d think that if you’re honest, it might minimize the damage, right?

The truth is, you won’t. However you confess, it’s going to devastate your partner. Some couples overcome cheating, but others don’t. So would confessing to cheating help your relationship, or would it only mark the start of the end?

Let’s explore these muddy waters. [Read: What is considered cheating? The painful types and ways to set boundaries]

Should you confess to cheating?

Let’s face it—your partner’s not going to be pleased to hear of your affair. In fact, they may be rather pissed when they hear about it.

There’s no avoiding the fact that they’re going to be heartbroken. Their loving partner, who’s been cuddling them and doing naughty things to them in the bedroom, has been doing the same to someone else. That’s gross and definitely worth the heartbreak.

So if you confess to your partner that you’ve been cheating, they’re going to feel angered and disgusted by it.

Sometimes, with all the emotional turmoil it causes, it’s not worth confessing. But if you’re totally against slight mistruths, you have to learn how to confess to cheating the right way. [Read: 36 healing secrets to get over being cheated on quickly and not fall apart]

Understanding the circumstances

You may just want to go ahead and reveal it all to your partner. You may want to kneel down and go on a confession spree and profusely beg for their forgiveness.

In some ways, that’s the right thing to do. Really, how can you act like nothing is wrong if all you think about every time your partner holds you in their arms is the fact that you betrayed their trust?

But here’s the thing: would it be better to shut your mouth and ignore the nagging guilt or would it be better to ‘fess up and live guilt free? Weigh these pros and cons carefully. [Read: Dreams about cheating – why you don’t have to panic]

How would your partner react?

Are you willing to risk your marriage or your relationship over a little fling? Of course, you cheated and had an affair behind your partner’s back.

But do you intend to do it again? If you sincerely feel bad about your horny shagathons, you should give your confession a serious thought.

Ask yourself the following questions: Is your love deep enough to survive an affair? Is your partner understanding enough to accept your lack of sexual control and forgive you? Would your partner ever try to get back at you by having an affair themselves? Or worse, would your partner want to end the relationship?

Learning to forgive someone isn’t a weakness. In fact, it’s really difficult to accept that we all make mistakes *even though some mistakes are pretty damaging*, so most people aren’t good with forgiveness.

Confess if you must, but keep in mind that your relationship might never be what it once was. [Read: 18 secrets to be happy in a marriage that make or break your romance]

How will the confrontation affect your family and friends?

When you’re married, you come with a package—your family, its extended versions, and friends of the family. Your spouse may be a loudmouth or a relative may understand what’s going on at the next family reunion.

If the word does go out, will you *and your spouse* be shunned or become hot gossip? Would all of them be as understanding? Sometimes, locking away the guilt is way easier. It’s a sick thing to do, especially when your partner truly thinks you’re a saintly lover, but you’ll have to deal with it.

Can you *and your partner* put the episode behind you?

At times, it is indeed better to just confess and put it all behind you. It’ll make you feel better after a while and help you breathe easier. And if you ever call your own partner by your ex-lover’s name accidentally, it can be forgotten after a few months.

In most cases, we’ve seen that a confession can actually bring partners closer in a relationship. But that happens only if both partners are willing to see it as a bad memory.

So how certain are you that your partner has a secret box in their head where they can stash all your filthy dirt away? [Read: Cheating spouse – 18 signs you must watch for if you don’t want to be hurt]

Can you live with the guilt?

Guilt sucks the life out of anyone. And if you’re truly in love with your own partner, you’re going to be terribly guilty about the whole bang-bang in another bed.

So it all boils down to this: can you really live with yourself and lie in your partner’s arms after doing all those dirty things with someone else?

If you can’t, confess.

If you want to give the guilty life a shot, then lock the secret away and don’t ever talk about it. You may feel uncomfortable for a long time, and you may even have sudden urges to confess. But think of the damage it could cause and hold it back in. [Read: In love with two people at the same time? 16 subtle signs to make a choice]

Promise yourself that you’re through with your cheating ways, and try to sleep in your own bed from now on. It’s a mistake that you can make up for.

Instead of rolling in another bed or wallowing in guilt, focus on your loyal partner and love them the way they love you.

And soon enough, life can go back to normal for you and your unknowing partner *just as long as you don’t try cheating again*. [Read: Lust vs love – 21 signs to know exactly what you feel for each other]

Times when you definitely have to confess to cheating

Despite all arguments to the contrary, there are some times when confessing to cheating is the necessary thing.

1. When your illicit lover blackmails you.

2. When you want to use the fact that you cheated as an excuse to break up. But just make sure you go into the explicit details while explaining yourself. [Read: 18 steps to break up with someone you love and the right thing you must say]

3. A friend of your partner sees you and your lover in a compromising position, be it a kiss or something more.

4. If a video or picture of you and your lover starts doing the rounds all over the Internet.

5. When you pass on an STI to your loyal partner.

6. When your partner walks in and finds you in bed with your lover. [Read: Should I cheat? Why it’s normal to feel tempted and how to make up your mind]

What if I never tell anyone?

In our opinion, most secrets tend to get out sooner or later. The world may not know about your cheating, but someone does and someone else will find out too.

Are you really willing to risk not saying anything and end up making a bigger mess if it came from somebody else?

If you want to know what reasons people use to get out of telling their partner that they cheated, here are the most common lies people tell themselves:

1. I’ll never do it again

Statistically, this is not true. Most cheaters end up repeating it but with less remorse every time it happens. [Read: Once a cheater, always a cheater?]

2. It meant nothing

The fact that you agreed to do it means everything. Whether there were emotions involved or it was “just sex,” the blow will be devastating to your partner if they ever found out.

3. We just made out

You can’t get out of cheating using semantics. Kissing is intimate. Sexting is intimate. Holding hands is intimate. Saying, “I like you” is intimate.

Being intimate with someone else is cheating in its purest form.

4. Nobody will ever find out

This can be true for some, but we hesitate to think about what kind of suffering they feel whenever the incident pops up in their mind. [Read: Serial cheater – 43 signs and traits, why they cheat so often and what to do next]

How to confess to cheating

If you’re going to confess to cheating, just know that there is no gentle or easy way to do it. However you decide to spill the details, it’s going to upset your partner and make them feel like the sky is falling down on them.

For a second, put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if it was them confessing to you? There is no right and wrong way to confess to cheating. There is simply a rather brutal confession that has the power to destroy the person you’re supposed to love.

Warming up to the confession

Your heart may beat so loudly that you can hardly hear yourself speak. Confessing about your mistake seems like pure insanity, but you are ready to take the chance and come clean, once and for all, and that’s brave.

Now this part of a relationship can take different courses, but it’s got nothing to do with the confession and everything to do with the two people involved.

So, the next time you brave a dry throat to reveal a deep scary secret, remember these five confession pointers. [Read: How to keep a relationship going when you feel it slipping away]

1. Choose your time carefully

Your past definitely has the power to drive your love to a dead end, but it is a little-known fact that even the time you choose to confess has the exact effect.

The best time to confess about your sneaky secret is never at the start of the relationship. [Read: How to talk about a past relationship and not piss your partner off]

The whole idea of “starting a relationship with no secrets and absolutely no lies” doesn’t make sense in reality. It’s unnecessary to pour out all your secrets to your partner in the early stages of your love. It would be very difficult for anyone to actually see past your early escapades and love you unconditionally.

Also, don’t confess about your affair when the relationship is riding a tough wave. It’ll only make things a lot worse to handle. It could end up turning into the final straw that broke the camel’s back.

On the other hand, don’t pamper your lover all weekend and burst the happy bubble with a confession. It’ll only make the whole happy weekend seem like a corny cover-up to even out your confession.

Bring up the confession when both of you have at least a few hours of time together, and neither of you has any important assignments at work or elsewhere.

2. Prepare yourself

You know what to say, but you have got to work on how to say it right. You don’t want to mumble something and get the wrong message across. When you decide to speak up, you must decide how to make yourself clear without overly hurting your partner with all the details.

Also, prepare yourself to face the questions and answer them as honestly as you can without breaking your partner’s heart even more.

Choose your words well and rehearse in front of the mirror if you have to. Be subtle in your approach. You may get a stare of disgust or an open jaw of disbelief, or you may even have a few flavored words thrown in your direction.

But remember that at the end of this, you’ll feel a lot better for being truthful about your past. [Read: 25 secrets to catch a cheater red-handed in the act and with the right proof]

3. Choose the place

The time you asked your lover out, the time you said “I love you” for the first time—you always try to choose the most romantic places for the most romantic occasions. The same “find-the-right-place” model works wonders when you declare your guilt.

Firstly, do not pick a crowded place to have this sort of serious conversation.

There are bound to be raised eyebrows and some “I-don’t-want-to-hear-this” expressions and perhaps, even a few gasps of horror and a lot of visual begging and pleading from your end. [Read: How to have a difficult conversation without losing your nerve]

When you’re stuck in the middle of a crowded cafĂ©, you will have a hundred bored and inquisitive heads craning to overhear your conversation.

But if you’ve been in a long-term relationship that’s withstood the test of time during a few earlier, smaller bags of guilt, then perhaps at home would be the best place to deal with the confession. There may be a few slammed doors, but you knew that already, didn’t you? [Read: The big things that ruin a relationship and how to watch out for them]

4. Leave it open

Confessing about your past is definitely an impressive act of courage, especially if your partner would never have found out about the affair. But it does come with a ball of knotty strings.

It brings the relationship to a wobbly bridge where you could either cross or fall down. But the worst part is that it is your partner who has to decide the fate.

You may be apologetic and repentant, and you may be willing to do anything to be forgiven, but you need to remember one straight fact.

You can only ask your partner to trust you and forgive your past, but on no account can you force them to stay. [Read: 29 truths to stop cheating and resist the temptation to be unfaithful]

The option to go on must be left open for your lover to choose. It would be better to say, “If you think you can forgive me and accept me, give me a call… I’ll wait for you,” rather than saying, “You can’t leave me! It was a stupid mistake! We love each other and are meant to be together, no matter what!”

Give your partner a chance to make up their own mind. [Read: Why do people lie in relationships?]

5. Time is a healer

It’s obvious that a sordid past is hard to overlook, and your lover will need some time to find it in themselves to accept or reject you. But in most cases, when you’re overenthusiastic to know your mate’s reply, things can actually turn negative.

So, plenty of time is what you should be ready to give before you get your answer. The wait will obviously be painful but an answer that comes out of clear thought and conscience is better.

It may take a lot more than a few minutes, hours, or maybe even days before you hear from your mate. [Read: Long-distance relationship – 46 LDR tips to make it work and not screw it up]

Even though you want to know the answer right away, a patient wait shows that you have some respect and care about what your partner wants to do rather than force them to accept you.

Confess or not, but never do it again

Whether you choose to confess or not, one thing is for certain—you should never do it again. Don’t put your partner through the whole ordeal twice, and even if they don’t know, don’t force that amount of disrespect upon them.

Learn from your mistake and allow your torment to teach you a very firm lesson about the perils of straying away from your partner.

[Read: Is flirting cheating in a relationship? 30 must-knows to decode your gray area]

It is never easy to reveal a relationship breaker. But now that you know how to confess to cheating, use these tips to clear the air and the guilt once and for all.

The post How to Confess to Cheating: Should You? The Must-Knows & Steps to Do It is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



44 Fun Honeymoon Ideas & Destinations to Create Romantic Memories for Life

Planning the perfect honeymoon doesn’t come without stress, so we’re here to help! These destinations are perfect for newlyweds looking for romance and fun.

honeymoon ideas and destinations

After the big day, your honeymoon is the time for you and your partner to connect and enjoy time together as a married couple. It’s a time to relish in your newly wedded bliss on the getaway of your dreams. Not to mention, the perfect opportunity to kick-start a fantastic sex life with the only person you’ll be with for the rest of your life!

You may be feeling the pressure to plan the perfect getaway, so we’re here to help. Here are our picks for fun honeymoon ideas to celebrate your new life with your spouse, along with some pointers for finding your perfect destination. [Read: 15 subtle things that change when you get married]

How important is a honeymoon to marriage?

Truthfully, it’s probably not all that important in the grand scheme of things. However, if you chose to have a honeymoon, then it’s important that you get it right.

Therefore, having an amazing honeymoon is really important for kicking off the marriage on a positive, fun note. Since the concept of getting married is often accompanied by people thinking their lives are officially over, a fun honeymoon is a perfect way to squash those ideas.

Is there a best time to honeymoon?

The best time to honeymoon is after your marriage ceremony, of course!

But to answer the question more thoroughly, the time of year you are thinking of planning your honeymoon ideas depends on your destination plans. You’ll want to plan in advance to ensure the weather correlates with your travel itinerary. [Read: Most romantic vacation spots for couples]

Will you be headed to the mountains? A beach resort? What about a snowy, private getaway? Or maybe you want to go to an amusement park.

No matter where you’re headed, plan in advance to make sure you and your newlywed can have the best time possible without any inconveniences from the weather.

Unique places that make the best honeymoon destination

Not all destinations are created equal. You can be the type to sip margaritas on a beach somewhere or you can get adventurous. No matter what, though, you should be aiming to have a unique and interesting honeymoon that’ll keep the spark of love burning bright.

Here are some ideas on the best places to make that happen:

1. A small town in a foreign country

When you look up honeymoon ideas, you’re bombarded with all the typical tourist locations. But if you really want your honeymoon to be something special and unique, go to a very small town in a foreign country instead.

Take the leap and see what’s out there that’s not filled with tourists like yourself. This is a great way to get a feel for the real culture and food. Plus, when you’re away from the typical touristy locations, you’re better able to focus on your new spouse. [Read: 26 of the naughtiest things to say in a foreign language]

2. A small beach on a secluded island

If you do want to take the beach route, just be sure not to choose places that are swarming with tourists. It really takes away from the beauty and romance when you can’t find a spot on the beach.

Instead of the top-searched resort, find a small island that doesn’t typically have too many tourists. You’ll feel as if the island is all yours and you may even find a few hidden beaches that are far more stunning.

3. High in the mountains

Most honeymooners want to go somewhere tropical, but those places are usually packed with other vacationers and you don’t get a whole lot of romance.

So, why not take yourselves up to the mountains? It’s far more intimate and truly breathtaking. You’ll feel like you’re on top of the world together.

4. As north as it gets to see those lights

If you really want to up the romance, seeing the northern lights is one of the most perfect ways to do so. Research different areas of the world and find out where the best place is *we recommend Norway* and start packing for cold weather.

It’s no the typical beach honeymoon, but think of how romantic it will be to see the myriad of beautiful colors light up the sky as you cuddle beneath layers of warm blankets in front of a cozy fire. [Read: 30 really sweet and romantic ideas for couples to feel loved and connected 24/7]

5. Amusement park hangouts

Do you love amusement parks? If so, you can definitely spend your honeymoon going on rides, eating funnel cake, and surfing the tiny shops for trinkets to remember your stay.

Who says a honeymoon has to be all about romance? There are no rules, so why not start your marriage off on a fun note?

6. A snowy, quiet getaway

Not everyone likes snow. However, if you and your new spouse do, finding a beautiful location with plenty of it will make your honeymoon magical. And since most people opt for a tourist-filled beach, you’ll be more likely to have that secluded, romantic feel they won’t get.

7. Nothing but go-karts, skydiving, and adventure

Are you two the type who loves to goof off and have fun? Then why not have a honeymoon that reflects that? There are plenty of places where you can escape and have fun doing adrenaline-filled activities.

It may not be everyone’s idea of a romantic getaway, but if you two bonded over your adrenaline-junkie ways, this is a really sweet and personal honeymoon idea for you. [Read: 33 best hobbies for couples to have fun, bond, and feel closer than ever!]

8. A domestic getaway

If a honeymoon abroad just doesn’t line up with your preferences, then you never know what luxuries your country has hidden away from you. Do a little research or just take a drive and don’t stop until you find something unique and cute.

There are far more amazing places for you to see in your own country than you think. The plus side to this is that it’s usually a lot less expensive but a lot more fun. And you can even return to this honeymoon spot on your first anniversary to celebrate more romantically—isn’t that so romantic?

9. Road trip it

If you’re not up for long flights, then go ahead and road trip it! There’s a lot more you can see if you decide to travel all day long.

You can cover a lot of ground and have a much more entertaining and interesting trip than many others on their honeymoons. [Read: 59 fun things to do on a road trip to create awesome memories together]

10. Close your eyes and throw a dart at the map and go where it lands

You really have to be up for an adventure if you choose to use this method of picking a honeymoon destination. But if adventure is right up your and your new spouse’s alley, then get a map, pin it to the wall, close your eyes, and throw a dart at it.

Obviously, you may have to do this a few times so you don’t always end up in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. But with that being said, if it continuously lands in the water, perhaps you should take a cruise!

This is a great way to avoid having to choose a place at all and go on the most unexpected journey of your life.

11. Head to the airport and get on the first available flight

This is another very risky idea that requires you to be up for almost anything. You could easily walk into the airport and ask an attendant to put you on the next available flight with two seats available.

Just make sure to pack for anything! [Read: Alternative destinations for romantic breaks]

12. Write down a lot of places and pick from a hat

If you truly can’t decide or aren’t sure what you want to do, then write down a bunch of different honeymoon ideas. You can each jot down 10-15 locations or ideas for a piece and then throw them in a hat.

Whichever you end up picking is the place you’ll go on your honeymoon! This releases some of your own control and also takes the pressure off a bit. Also, it’s a fun story to tell people about how you decided on a spot for your honeymoon.

The best honeymoon destinations to kickstart your marriage

If you are looking for the best honeymoon ideas, look no further! These are our top destinations that are perfect for newlyweds looking for romance and adventure!

1. Jamaica

Of course, we can’t recommend beach-themed honeymoon spots without mentioning Jamaica! This is a hot spot for newlyweds looking to experience luxury without breaking the bank.

On this Caribbean island, you’ll find its natural white sand beaches and clear warm waters perfect for you and your partner.

Also, this island has perfect year-round weather! So no matter when you plan on tying the knit, you’ll never have to miss out on Jamaica’s fun adventures and exploration hot spots. Seriously, this island is pure tropical fun. [Read: Vacation sex – 30 secrets and checklist to have a naughty, wild time in paradise]

2. Tahiti

This off-grid island is well-loved for its remote and immersive appeal. Tahiti has an array of scenery to explore, so get your best shoes ready!

From its flourishing jungles to its natural waterfalls, black-sand beaches to even two extinct volcanoes, this is an exciting and romantic secluded location for you and your boo.

3. Las Vegas

If you look for somewhere to continue the fun or to really go wild and celebrate those first few weeks as a married couple, there is no better place than Las Vegas!

The bright lights, the hustle and bustle, the world-famous casinos, the glitz and glamor—it’s all there for the taking.

Laze by the pool sipping cocktails during the day and then get dressed up to the nines to hit the clubs *complete with dreamy rooftop terraces, indoor waterfalls, and some of the world’s best DJs* to party the night away. For style, excess, and a whole lot of fun, Vegas could be the best honeymoon destination for any couple.

4. Uruguay

In Uruguay, you can enjoy romantic beachside strolls, fresh seafood, gorgeous vineyards, and plenty of great nightlife.

And if you love to relax and soak up the culture during the day, but want to really let your hair down at night, Uruguay might just be the place for you. [Read: Like a virgin – how to spruce up your honeymoon sex]

5. Dubai

It’s true when they say that there is no place on earth quite like Dubai. If you are looking for honeymoon ideas where you can truly spoil yourselves and enjoy the best of city and beach life combined, Dubai is a fantastic destination.

Also, if you love ultra-modern architecture, contemporary cuisine, and places where you will be treated like a king and queen, Dubai will not disappoint.

6. Botswana and Mauritius

For a truly once-in-a-lifetime trip, hot-foot it to Botswana and Mauritius. Head out on safari and spot a whole range of exotic animals in their natural habitat. Then, why not stay in a beautiful beach hut and fall asleep to the sound of lapping waves?

Spend evenings enjoying romantic candlelit dinners in the bush. And swim with wild dolphins enjoying breathtaking scenery and feeling as though you are the only two people in the world. [Read: All the tips to have a great time when you travel as a couple]

7. California

The sun-kissed shores of California are ideal for honeymooning couples who want to head somewhere warm and indulge in a little bit of everything.

From beautiful beaches to bustling, but laid-back cities, to incredible hikes through Yosemite or Big Sur, you’ll never be short of amazing things to do and beautiful sights to see.

8. Sydney

Situated on Australia’s coastline, Sydney is a hugely popular honeymoon destination and best known for its gorgeous harbor where sundowners are a must as well as iconic sights such as the Sydney Opera House and Harbor Bridge.

Here you can enjoy romantic meals, fantastic tourist attractions, and great weather all year round. [Read: Wedding night woes – when sex isn’t on the menu]

9. St. Barts

This island is often referred to as being the perfect mix of French flare and Caribbean luxury, and for good reason. St. Barts is an overseas sister to France, so it’s full of French culture, arts, and sophistication.

This island is perfect for any type of honeymoon ideas, whether you want to go all-out in a big, flashy hotel, or settle in a discreet, quiet resort with your lover.

You can go for a high-end shopping spree or roam in the hidden-gem boutiques. And, as always, the ocean and tropical forest never fail to amaze.

10. Seychelles

The gorgeous group of islands off the coast of East Africa is a popular honeymoon destination, and it’s easy to see why.

With welcoming locals, pristine beaches, indigenous wildlife, and also beautiful flowers and plants, there’s nothing that will disappoint.

Here you enjoy days lazing on the beach, hiking around the countryside, kayaking, snorkeling, diving, and trying your hand at a range of water sports—just to name a few!

11. Japan

For food, culture, and breathtaking scenery head to Japan where you’ll enjoy all that and more. If you and your partner want a honeymoon destination with a difference and want to do more than just laze on the beach or frolic in the waves, Japan offers much to see and do.

From amazing, experimental, and fine dining cuisine to imperial palaces, stunning gardens, shrines and temples, and national parks where mountains tower over you, a visit to Japan could be a honeymoon you’ll truly never forget. [Read: Foodie dates – 15 trendy dinner ideas for new couples]

12. Balearic Islands

The balmy Balearic Islands are found in the gorgeous Mediterranean and are the ideal honeymoon destination for couples looking for sun, sea, and sand.

With great beaches, scenic countryside, and plenty of fantastic spots to eat and drink, a romantic, intimate, and also relaxing honeymoon destination awaits.

13. Maldives

The Maldives is world-famous for its breathtaking snorkeling and diving locations where you can greet colorful corals, reef sharks, rays, sea turtles, and more aquatic animals!

Its sun-weathered shores are a perfect location to have sophisticated romantic experiences, so why not have the honeymoon of your dreams here?

14. Provence

France is pretty synonymous with romance. Perhaps no area more so than beautiful Provence. If you want to explore gorgeous scenery, ancient architecture, quaint towns and cities, beautiful, unspoiled beaches, and some of the finest food and wine around, Provence provides like no other.

Whether you and your new spouse are active and outdoorsy or simply want to float from one pretty place to the next, Provence is an ideal honeymoon. It really does offer something for everyone. [Read: 32 steps to move forward in a relationship if you’re lost and confused]

15. Antigua and Barbuda

Between the two islands of Antigua and Barbuda, you are sure to find something that you love. This area is best known for its soft pink-and-white sand beaches, tropical fruits, and exotic landmarks.

Enjoy its beautiful blue sea sailing with your loved one and greet the island’s tropical fish while snorkeling and kayaking. This is truly one of the hidden-gem honeymoon ideas!

16. Morocco

Morocco is a hugely popular honeymoon destination for couples. With colors, textures, sights, sounds, and smells all mixing, it boasts an atmosphere quite unlike any other. For sun, sea, and sand lovers there are stunning beaches at your fingertips.

But you can also dine on fresh seafood after a dip in the ocean. Then head into one of the bustling towns or cities with markets, glittering lamps, beautiful fabrics, and plenty of fantastic places to eat and drink. Morocco really does have it all! [Read: Reasons traveling is a great test of compatibility]

17. Bermuda

Who wouldn’t love to head to Bermuda on their honeymoon, where the weather is always fantastic? Enjoy lazing around on the beach or swimming in the sea to your heart’s content.

Of course, Bermuda has plenty more to offer besides the sun, sea, and sand. If you’re feeling more adventurous, explore this tiny, yet perfectly formed island. Also, why not try your hand at a range of sporting and daredevil activities?

18. India

While many honeymooners prefer living in the lap of luxury for a couple of weeks post-wedding, some choose to do something a little more unusual. India offers a little bit of everything.

Make your honeymoon as rough and ready or as luxurious as you want. With plenty of beaches to explore, bustling city centers, bargains to be had, and great cuisine to try, India will host a honeymoon you’ll never forget.

19. Aruba

This is a well-loved honeymoon destination for couples looking to visit the Caribbean without paying as much as other hotspot islands. Still, Aruba is as luxurious as it can get.

On this island, you won’t be able to help but gravitate toward the luscious spas and resorts after dipping your toes in the island’s turquoise sea. [Read: Sex on the beach – the couple’s guide to have naughty, kinky fun by the water]

20. Bali

If you’ve got your heart set on a magical, art and cultural-rich honeymoon spot, then make your way to Indonesia and explore the magic that Bali has to offer.

This location focuses greatly on nature, temples, and cultural festivities. Even better, you can still explore its beautiful beaches and snorkeling spots like any other beach resort island!

21. Bahamas

The Bahamas is one of the perfect honeymoon ideas if you’re looking to lounge on a beach in gorgeous year-round weather without traveling too far from the United States.

The Bahamas doesn’t only have one, two, or three islands to visit—it’s made up of 700 islands *30 inhabited*! This means that there is an awful lot to explore and see on this romantic vacation.

Perfect sunshine, serene shorelines, breathtaking tropical and aquatic life, and fourteen national parks—what more could you ask for?

This iconic honeymoon spot is known for its easy access from the States as well as its inexpensive itinerary. If you love the beach *and saving money*, what are you waiting for? Take your romance to the Bahamas!

22. St. Lucia

If you’re a couple who loves adventure, St. Lucia might just be the perfect honeymoon destination for you. Known for its erupting volcanoes, exciting scuba-diving adventures, and forest trails, St Lucia is a fun and exciting new way to celebrate your marriage!

23. Greece

Greece is an ideal honeymoon destination for those looking for great food, beautiful places to relax, stunning scenery to explore, and fantastic nightlife.

In Greece, you can choose to head to little towns and villages, discover unspoiled beaches, and relax away from the crowds. Or alternatively, you can head to one of the bustling cities and throw yourself into the party atmosphere and really go wild!

24. Los Cabos

Surrounded by sparkling seas, swaying palm trees, and fresh cuisine, Los Cabos is a long-loved honeymoon destination in Mexico. This paradise has refined relaxation spots, luxurious services, and endless adventure.

Also, did we mention fresh cuisine? Los Cabos has exceptional newly-caught seafood dishes you and your loved one can enjoy while looking out over the gorgeous Pacific.

25. Disneyland

Getting hitched is a serious business. So, if you want to shake it off and spend a week reverting to being kids again, what better place to head than Disneyland where enchantment and magic will be right at your fingertips?!

Disneyland offers fantastic packages for honeymooners to ensure the trip is packed with romance as well as lots of fun! [Read: Love at first sight – why we fall, how it feels, and 21 signs to prove it’s real]

26. Bora Bora

Bora Bora is one of the most popular honeymoon destinations ideas and for good reason. On this beautiful island, you will find crystal blue waters, delicious cuisine, and breathtaking scenery from every angle.

If you’re looking for the perfect mix of an adventurous and luxurious honeymoon destination, Bora Bora is the one for you!

27. Hawaii

Another one of the world’s most popular honeymoon destinations is Hawaii. This island offers fun-filled exploration opportunities on its popular beaches including backcountry hikes, exploring the island’s vast bamboo jungles, tiki torch lighting, snorkeling with sea creatures, cultural activities, and discovering secretive swimming holes.

The activities to do on this island are endless, which makes this stellar honeymoon destination sophisticated, relaxing, cultural, and romantic.

28. Grenada

This lesser-known Caribbean spot is a wonderful destination for your honeymoon if you’re looking for a more intimate island to explore with your lover. Visit this island’s wonderful Seven Sisters waterfall, hike to view the famous 36-acre Grand Etang crater lake, and please your sweet tooth with Grenada’s famous chocolate!

29. Portugal

This diverse country has much to offer with its rich art culture, deep history, and breathtaking landscape. It’s the best of all worlds, with fresh beaches, cozy villages, and historic cities. If you’re looking for immersive honeymoon ideas, this is a great one.

This gorgeous getaway is perfect for road trips and unique sightseeing. Find your way to the north side of the country and experience the delicious, luxurious homemade wine. Then, head south to dip your toes in the magical oceans. Don’t forget to visit the spectacular villages and historic architecture you come across along the way!

30. Anguilla

Anguilla is the intimate beach getaway you’ve been craving. Composed of thirty beaches, this Caribbean island is the perfect spot for you and your lover to soak up the sun and enjoy the warm waters.

This island has tons to offer, notably Meads Bay Pond, where you can interact with tropical wildlife. Aside from its widespread beaches, Anguilla also has a magical fishing village, Island Harbor. Here you can enjoy scenic views, grab a delicious meal, and people-watch the fisherman.

31. Barbados

Barbados is an expansive island that truly is great for all types of honeymoon ideas. It has the perfect mix of larger cities, secluded beaches, calm ocean shores, ecstatic terrain, and near-endless dinner options.

Its capital, Bridgetown, and other cities offer unique museums and cultural experiences you won’t forget. And its adventurous sports and hiking trails are sure to create memories between you and your spouse.

32. St. Kitts and Nevis

St. Kitts and Nevis is the best of both worlds when it comes to honeymooning. This dual island has gorgeous blue water and white soft sand along its beach, but it also has an immersive tropical forest and intimate markets and villages, which makes this destination an enticing hidden gem.

You can hit up your favorite beach activities like snorkeling, sailing, and fishing, and then explore off-beaten paths to beautiful adventures.

There is the famous St. Kitts Scenic Railway which takes passengers through the gorgeous mountains and showcases all that the island has to offer, or you could take the challenge and hike with your partner!

Nevis is packed with intense historical sights, one of them being where Alexander Hamilton was from! With bathhouses, oceanic views, and tons of museums, St. Kitts and Nevis have a lifetime of adventure to explore. This is one of the great all-round honeymoon ideas.

[Read: Essential things all newlyweds must know]

It can be stressful trying to plan the perfect honeymoon destination, but don’t let your stress overshadow the date! What’s important is you’ll make life-long memories with your new spouse on a romantic getaway.

The post 44 Fun Honeymoon Ideas & Destinations to Create Romantic Memories for Life is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.



 
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